Littlest Pet Shop (Fan Novelization)
by Kenny Rutter
Summary: A fan novelization of the television series, following the adventures of teenager Blythe Baxter after she discovers she has the ability to communicate with animals.
1. Blythe's Big Adventure

BLYTHE'S BIG ADVENTURE

LIFE IN THE SUBURBS WAS RATHER…MUNDANE, TO PUT IT INTO WORDS. EVERYONE knew each other, they all got their mail at the same time, mowed their grass on the same day, and were so friendly that at times it made sixteen-year-old Blythe Baxter wonder if she hadn't entered into one of those sitcoms her dad said played back before she was born.

Not that it bothered her, of course. No one bothered her outside of a friendly greeting, meaning she had enough time to sit by herself, under her favorite tree, engaging in her favorite pastime – drawing new fashion designs. She'd started doodling designs for clothes when she was younger, started after her mother passed away from a severe lung infection due to pneumonia. She began drawing to escape the pain, to give her something to take her mind off of not living with a mother anymore, and now, seven years after the fact, she'd moved on – as much as anyone could – but designing fashion was still her hobby.

Of course, it was still just a hobby and the most she did outside of drawing her designs was making them for her friends for when they attended a school function, like a dance. Or in a couple of years when they would attend the senior prom.

She never went anywhere without her sketchpad and a pencil. She was always looking for new inspiration, something to help get the creative juices flowing.

A Frisbee landed next to her, distracting her. She picked it up, just as a border collie came running over to her, his tongue hanging out, his tail happily wagging back and forth in excitement.

"Is this your toy, boy?" she asked playfully. The dog let out a happy yelp. "Here you go." She gave the Frisbee a light toss, sending it sailing back to its owner.

A squirrel sat next to her and let out a quick chatter. She chuckled. "I wish I knew what you were saying, little guy." She closed her sketch pad and placed it on her lap. "To talk to the animals….Wouldn't that be something?"

The sound of a car horn caught her attention; her father, Roger Baxter, honking at her from the curb. He climbed out of the blue hatchback and waved to her. Blythe stood up and waved back to him as she made her way over. He was dressed in his pilot uniform – her father was a pilot for a major airline, and as such, spent more time away than both he and Blythe would have liked. It was part of the reason Blythe was so used to being alone most of the time, because she usually was alone, unless she was at school with her friends.

"Nice flight, Dad?" she asked.

"Better than nice, it was great," Roger enthusiastically replied. "Hey, Blythe, I got good news and great news! Want the good news first?"

"Sure. Shoot."

"I got a promotion!"

"That's great, Dad! Speaking of which, what's the great news?"

"We're moving!"

Blythe felt her entire body go stiff. Her eye twitched. Her sketch pad fell from her hand. Moving? Now? She'd only just now started tenth grade. And now, because his job gave him a few extra bucks, she had to leave her friends and her home behind to go live somewhere else? Why hadn't he come to her before dropping this news into her lap? She would have liked to have some sort of say in the matter.

"What…the…WHAT?!"

"I know. I'm excited too. Well, we'd better get home and start packing, because we leave first thing tomorrow morning. Next stop: Downtown City."

##################################

It was an incredibly tearful farewell for everyone, even moreso since Blythe barely had any time to tell her friends that she was leaving. Oh sure, she would make sure to call them every now and then just to check in and let them know that she was doing okay, but that just wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be the same without Madeline or Andrea, without the school and all her teachers – Mr. Tidwell, Mrs. Liddell, Coach Alten. She'd only had enough time to stop at the school, turn her books in, and have her name taken out of the roster before she and Roger made the nearly six hour drive to the big city.

Downtown City, often mistaken for Manhattan by tourists. Home to two million people. Two million and two, counting Blythe and Roger.

Blythe had spent the entire trip in silence, still a little bitter about the sudden move. She'd made it clear to Roger when they left that she would have liked to have been able to think about this move, not to just have it shoved upon her. But at the same time, she knew that she wouldn't really have any say for anything in her life until she was eighteen, which was still two long years away.

"Blythe, I'm sorry that I brought it up so suddenly," Roger said for the tenth time this trip. "But you have to understand – I only had your best interests in mind. I want you to have a better life than what we had before. It's….It's what Mom would have wanted."

Blythe felt her throat tighten. Over the years, she'd gotten proficient at not letting Roger know that she still cried for her mother.

 _There he goes again,_ she thought bitterly, _trying to guilt trip me._

"Besides," Roger continued, "you can always think of this as a grand new adventure. Come on Blythe. Do it for me? Please?"

"Well…." She took a deep breath. "I guess I can give it a try."

"That's all I'm asking," Roger said. "How about we turn on the radio? See if we can get Queen here." He turned on the radio.

It wasn't Queen like he'd wanted, but it was hard rock. Unfortunately, Roger, hard rock, and a car were a terrible mix. Roger never kept his eyes on the road while listening to the music, preferring to rock out along with the music, which caused the car to swerve into the oncoming lane.

Blythe leaped up to the front seat, grabbing hold of the steering wheel and maneuvering them back into the proper lane, ignoring the shouts of the angry drivers. She struggled to keep the car steady, fighting against her father, who – with a hard right turn of the wheel – sent the car barreling down the stairs to the subway.

It was a miracle they made it across the tracks and up the opposite set of stairs without anyone getting hit. It was even more miraculous that they'd survived the trip themselves, ending up on the trailer of a car hauler, finally catching Roger's attention.

"Wow. Talk about making good time." He put the car in reverse and back up, putting the car back onto the pavement. "We're almost there, Blythe. Blythe?"

Blythe was sitting back against the seat, breathing heavily and sharply. She'd been with her father during one of these spells, but this one was the worst – she'd never been reduced to a hyperventilating mess like she was right now. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, trying to slow her heart rate, and wondered just where exactly her father learned how to drive. And this man was an airline pilot?

The car came to a stop near a tall blue apartment complex. "Here we are, Blythe."

Blythe looked out the car window. The first thing that caught her eye wasn't the apartment complex; it was the small shop right next to it. A glass window, displaying several accessories for various animals; a glass door leading inside, the blinds down; the little doggie door near the bottom of the wall, where the building met the sidewalk; the banner reading "Going Out Of Business"; and the sign above the glass window.

" 'Littlest Pet Shop'," she read. "Dad, you can't be serious about this. We're moving into a PET SHOP?"

"Littlest Pet Shop…." Roger mused. "Huh. Didn't see that before. Amazing what you'll see when you're not looking for it." He climbed out of the car and started to address the movers, who had arrived a few seconds after they did. "Hey boys! Apartment Number Nine! The one at the very top!"

Blythe climbed out of the car and narrowly avoided getting hit in the head by the couch. She dodged the massive piece of furniture, not noticing the two girls until she nearly ran into them.

"WHOA!" She instinctively put her sketch pad up, blocking her face. Slowly, she peeked out from behind her sketch pad to look at the girls, relaxing a little bit.

They looked so similar – same height, same eye color, similar clothes, with one wearing a dark magenta top, dark plaid skirt, and dark maroon leggings, the other wearing an outfit much lighter in color tone, minus the leggings; the only difference she could see between them was the color of their hair and how they wore it – one had black hair, with the bangs hanging down over her right eye, the other had white hair with the bangs hanging down over her left eye.

"Hi," the girl with the black hair said. "I'm, like, Whittany Biskit."

"And I'm, like, Brittany Biskit," the girl with the white hair added.

"We're twins," they said at the same time.

 _Well, that explains why they look so similar,_ Blythe thought. _And why do they sound like that? They talk like stereotypical valley girls._

Brittany looked at the bright pink words on the cover of Blythe's sketch pad. " 'Blythe Style'? So, like, your name is Blythe?" she asked.

"Um, yes," Blythe answered. "My dad and I are just moving in."

"Well, I can see that," Whittany said. "Duh. So, like, we were about to go to the mall."

"Why don't you come with?" Brittany suggested. "We can get you an outfit better than what you've got now."

"Well, Whittany and Brittany, that's a very generous offer," Blythe said as she made her way to the front door. "But I just got here, and I've got a lot of other stuff to do right now, so I'm sorry, but the answer is no."

She turned to go inside, but stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "What did you say?" Brittany asked, her tone of voice suddenly changing.

"I think she, like, said no to us," Whittany said.

"Like, no one says no to US," Brittany hissed.

"Well, I just did," Blythe hissed back. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get me and my father moved in to our –" She turned around to address her father, only to see him making silly faces to the little animals in the store window. "DAD!" She grabbed him by the back of the shirt. "Say bye to the animals, Dad. We've got work to do."

"You might want to say good bye to Littlest Pet Shop altogether, Blythe!" Whittany called to her as she and her father climbed the stairs. "Pretty soon it's going to have a new name – VACANT LOT!"

 _Just ignore them,_ Blythe silently muttered to herself. _I don't get them, though – I decline their offer as politely as I can, and they turn into the Wicked Witches of the West on me. I can already tell I'm going to have a GREAT time here._

 _#######################################_

"So, Blythe," Roger said as they unpacked the boxes for the kitchen. "Couldn't help but notice you talking to a couple of girls out there."

"The way you were glued to that window, I'm surprised you even saw the twins," Blythe said as she placed the pots and pans in the cabinet.

"Making friends already?"

"Doubt it, Dad," Blythe replied. "They were pretty rude."

"Well, I guess every town's got them," Roger said as he set the coffee pot and toaster on the counter.

"Twins?"

"Mean girls. Glad you're not one of them. Hey, I can handle things here. Why don't you go set up your room?"

"Sure, Dad." She made her way down the hall to one of the two bedrooms in the entire apartment. The walls were bright yellow and bland, save for one set of boards covering what looked like a window. The dull gray roof clashed with the colors of the walls, but that could be changed eventually.

Right now, she had to worry about just where she was going to put everything. She'd brought all of her art and sewing supplies, all thirty-five pairs of shoes, every single outfit – one for a different day of the month – makeup and other such accessories, and her guitar.

It had been years since she took lessons, and even then, she never seriously played. She would strum a tune from time to time, usually when bored or when she had to babysit her old neighbor's six year old son.

She strummed a few cords before stopping. "Yeesh. This room sure is stuffy. Better open a window." She moved to the boarded up window and tried to lift it, to no avail. It was just too heavy for her. It was like the thing was glued shut or something.

"What you need is a little leverage and some elbow grease," she said as she picked up her guitar. She wedged the head of her guitar – the part the strings attached to, allowing her to tune it as necessary – under the boards and pushed down as hard as she could.

Almost too hard; the boards shot up into the wall, but also shattered her guitar, breaking the neck in half.

"Wonderful," she grumbled. "Gonna have to get this fixed." She turned her attention to the window. "Wait a minute."

Instead of the outside world, she was looking at the inside of the walls. A rope was hanging within her reach, leading to a small box down at the bottom of the shaft.

This was no window, it was a dumbwaiter shaft.

"What the huh? Wasn't expecting this." She grabbed the rope and pulled, bring the box up to the hole. "I think I've seen these things in a bunch of older buildings. Wonder how old this place is?" The sound of music coming from the first floor reached her ears, enticing her. Slowly, she climbed into the box. Surprisingly, it managed to hold her weight. "Hey, this could be fun." She closed the cover – the boards she had thought were covering up a window – and began to slowly lower herself to the bottom floor, careful to keep at least one hand on the rope at all times, maintaining as tight a grip as she could, the music getting louder the closer she got to it. The last thing she wanted to do was fall to the bottom and break something besides the dumbwaiter box.

She coughed as dust sifted into her nose and mouth. "Yuck. Dusty."

Something crawled across her hand – a small, black spider. Blythe screamed, flinging the spider off of her hand, causing her to lose her grip on the rope.

"Uh oh."

The dumbwaiter fell, fast, to the very bottom floor, Blythe screaming the whole way. The box slammed into the bottom, rocking Blythe's body, her head smacking the back of the wooden box. She rolled out of the opening in the wall, her head hitting the hard floor as she collapsed, trying to catch her breath, trying to calm herself down.

"Ow. That hurt." She rubbed her head, trying to dull the pain.

And then she heard the voices.

"Who is she?" a male voiced asked.

"The girl who just fell out of the wall. Duh," a female voice answered.

Another female voice said: "I hope she's okay."

"Oh, I'm sure she is," a deeper male voice said.

The first male voice spoke up again. "I think her head broke her fall."

Another female voice spoke up. "Russell, go check up on her. You're the most experienced out of all of us."

"I do?"

"Just do it, please?" a fourth female voice pleaded.

"Okay, fine."

Blythe sat up on her knees. Her vision was blurry for a moment – the smoke and dust from the dumbwaiter crash wasn't helping much – but it slowly began to clear, showing her a room with a similar color scheme as her bedroom, but with flowers and animal paw prints painted on the walls and floor, clear plastic tubes running along the roof and the corners of the walls, one of the tubes coming from a plastic fire hydrant in the far corner. Soft round beds were placed here and there. She saw a food and water station as well as several squeaky toys scattered around.

Something came through the dust cloud, a small, brown, prickly ball that stood up into a porcupine-like creature. Blythe let out a small yelp in surprise.

"Seems fine to me."

That voice….It had come from the porcupine!

Blythe was so confused. All she could do was stare at the thing, and the other animals that appeared as the dust cleared – a purple Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, a blue mongoose, a green gecko, a gray skunk, a pink monkey, and a blue and white panda cub.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you're a-a-a-a-a-a p-p-p-p-p-p-p-porcup-p-p-p-p-p-pine!"

"Hedgehog, actually. Everyone makes that mistake."

The monkey leaped onto her head. "Oh, good, she can sit up," she announced. "SHE'S FINE!"

"No no no no nononononono, talking monkey!" Blythe stuttered as the monkey jumped off of her. "What the heck is going on? I can…understand what the animals are saying?"

"Wait," the hedgehog said. "Did you say you can understand us?"

All the animals in the room let out a collective gasp.

The skunk pushed her way past the hedgehog. "Let me handle this." She climbed onto Blythe and put her face right up against hers. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!" Blythe could only nod her head in reply.

"Wow," the animals all breathed.

"Finally, someone who understands us," the hedgehog said.

"So, quick question," the gecko said. "You got a name, Mystery Wall Girl?"

"Um, uh…." She couldn't get the words out. How could she? She was talking to animals; they shouldn't have been talking back! "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-blythe."

"Hi, B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-blythe," the animals all said at once.

The dog stepped forward. "Well, we know your name, but you have no idea who we are. So I'd like to introduce you to everyone with a little number called, um…'Let Me Introduce You To Everyone'."

The monkey turned on a nearby boom box, playing an upbeat pop song, and the dog – THE DOG – began to sing.

 _I'm gonna tell you 'bout a few things_

 _So just watch me go, steal the show, sit on back and try to follow_

 _My name is Zoe Trent_

 _And to the full extent I'm the big star here,_

 _I sing the songs and represent_

 _Yeah, yeah, yeah, yea-a-ah..._

The skunk spoke up. "Uh, hi! Uh, I'm Pepper Clark. Actually, I'm a little of a star too, yeah. Uh... actually, uh, a bit more of a comedienne. I tell jokes and all that." She was interrupted by the dog's – Zoe's – song.

 _Pepper here is my good friend_

 _Ask her any knock-knock jokes cause she's kind of a comedienne_

 _And when she's happy, yeah, you can tell_

 _Just stick your nose up and give the room a quick smell_

The smell was not as pleasant as Zoe made it out to be. "Oops. Sorry about that," Pepper said sheepishly.

Zoe ignored the foul stench and continued her song, moving on to the gecko, who was now tap dancing.

 _Yeah, that's Vinnie Terrio on the floor_

 _I'd like to say he's done but I'm sure he's gonna get back up and dance some more_

 _But don't you worry_

 _He's got a heart of gold_

 _Not very bright, but he's one of us!_

 _PETS: We're the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _Yeah, the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _We're the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _Yeah, the littlest Littlest Pet Shop Pets_

Zoe moved on to the monkey, who was currently finger painting – if it could even be called that; it looked more like she was just smacking her monkey paws against the canvas.

 _Minka Mark is a monkey artist_

 _Talks a mile a minute so don't let her get started_

 _She's gonna paint this_

 _She's gonna paint that_

 _Okay, she's disappeared, does anyone here know where she's at?_

Minka was eyeballing the shiny gold, heart-shaped necklace Blythe was wearing. "Ooh! Shiny necklace! Can I have it? Can I? Can I? CAN I? Please please PLEEEEEEEEASE say yes!"

"Um..." was all Blythe could say.

The mongoose cleared his throat, catching everyone's attention. He was now dressed in a magician's cloak, holding a black magic wand with a white tip and tapping it against a silk top hat. The wand exploded, covering the mongoose in soot and reducing the hat to ashes.

"Oh, dear," he coughed. His voice had a slight Indian accent to it. "Not again. Happens every time."

 _ZOE: This is Sunil Nevla, he's a mongoose_

 _He's sort of a magician, but his magic is a little loose_

 _Sure, he's a little glum_

 _And likes to make a fuss_

 _But we don't mind at all because he's one of us!_

 _PETS: We're the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _Yeah, the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _We're the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _Yeah, Littlest Pet Shop Pets_

The gecko – Vinnie – accidentally smacked into the panda, who was busy dancing with a ribbon – Blythe guessed it was a traditional Chinese dance, though she didn't know for certain; she knew nothing of Chinese culture, so all she knew was the panda liked to dance with ribbons.

"Ah! Vinnie!" she screamed.

"Oops, sorry about that, Penny Ling," Vinnie said, rubbing the back of his head.

The hedgehog spoke up. "Um, Zoe? Maybe you should end the song soon. It looks like we're messing the place up."

 _ZOE: This is Russell, Russell Ferguson_

 _He's a little uptight and wants to get the song done_

 _Penny Ling, are you okay?_

 _I think that's everybody, so what do you say?_

 _PETS: We're the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _Yeah, the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _We're the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _Yeah, the littlest Pet Shop Pets_

 _We're the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _Yeah, the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _We're the Littlest Pet Shop pets_

 _Yeah, the Littlest Pet Shop Pets_

"O…kay," Blythe breathed. "I must have hit my head harder than I thought. Either that or I'm dreaming." She slapped herself in the face. "Wake up." She smacked her forehead against the wall. "Wake up, Blythe!" She turned to the seven pets. "I can still understand you, can't I?" They all just nodded. "Oh man. I have to get out of here!"

She turned to leave, only to run into someone – an older woman, late sixties or early seventies. Her steel gray hair was neatly brushed, stretching down to her shoulders. She wore a pair of gold rimmed half-moon glasses on her face and around her neck was a beaded black necklace; she wore something similar on her wrist, a bracelet. She was wearing a dark purple dress with gold flower patterns and there was a sort of softness to her that reminded Blythe of her grandmother, but at the moment, she was too terrified to think about that. She couldn't help but scream in shock when she saw the woman step out of the front room and into the room with her and the pets.

"Oh, hello dear," she said. "I didn't see you come in. I'm Anna Twombly, the owner of Littlest Pet Shop. Welcome to my own little slice of paradise."

"Um….Hello, Mrs. Twombly," Blythe said. "I'm Blythe Baxter. Uh, this might sound…crazy…but these animals are…they're singing and, and dancing and talking and all that."

Mrs. Twombly laughed. "Singing and dancing? My little sweeties?" She looked past Blythe to the pets, who were doing what they usually did – either lounging around on their beds, eating the kibble and drinking the water, or playing with the pet toys. She laughed again. "You kids and your imaginations. Singing and dancing; you're funny."

Blythe followed the older woman out onto the main shop floor. "They were talking to me too! Didn't you hear me say that?"

Mrs. Twombly laughed again. "Blythe Baxter, you are a hoot. Though I'll admit, they talk to me sometimes, too."

"They do? So, I'm not crazy?"

"Well, when they talk to me, all they seem to say is, 'Feed us, Mrs. Twombly! We're hungry! Throw a ball for me to fetch!' Can you believe it?"

"No, I mean yes, I mean –" Blythe took a breath before continuing. "I'm being serious. The pets talked to me. Zoe sang a song. I talked to them. I understood them, they understood me – I'm turning into Doctor Doolittle here!"

Mrs. Twombly made her way behind the front counter. "Dear, there are times when you have to turn off the imagination for a little bit. Though funny things do sometimes happen here."

No sooner had she finished her sentence did Blythe hear a loud, rumbling growl. "Is….Is the building growling?" She ran out the door, screaming.

Mrs. Twombly watched the young girl run down the street, her scream fading the further away she got.

"I really need to get that air conditioner fixed up."

#####################################

Blythe ran down the street, screaming, eliciting strange looks from everyone she bolted past. She stopped when she came across a man walking his Chihuahua.

 _Please don't talk,_ she silently prayed. _Please don't talk, please don't talk, PLEASE DON'T TALK!_

The Chihuahua spoke. "I like you. You're funny."

Blythe turned on her heels, running as fast as she could, past Littlest Pet Shop, up the stairs of the apartment complex, past her father – who had just finished arranging the living room – into her bedroom, slamming the door shut and locking it, her breath coming in in short bursts as she tried to figure out just what the heck was going on.

##################################

The bell jingled as the front door opened. Anna turned to the customer, a tall woman of Korean descent, dressed in a gray business suit, talking rapidly on two cell phones at the same time.

"Okay. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yup. Yup. Thursday. Not now, I'm looking at possible shop locations. Okay, we'll talk then. Okay, gotta run. Bye." She turned off both phones and stuffed them into her purse. "I'm so sorry about that, ma'am. Where were we again?"

"You came in and I was just about to ask if I could help you with anything," Anna replied.

"Oh, yes, in a way," the woman said. "I saw your sign. Said you were closing up soon. I don't want to sound like I'm trying to force you out now, but how soon do you think this space will be available?"

"I honestly hadn't decided on that yet," Anna answered. "I was going to make a final decision tomorrow."

"I understand your hesitation. Well, I'm looking to open up a bakery in this part of town – I simply love this area." She pulled a business card out of one of her pockets and handed it to Anna. "Can you call me when the space is available?"

"Yes, I guess I could," Anna said as she took the card.

The woman put a reassuring hand on Anna's shoulder. "Trust me, I'm going to take good care of the place. You have my word, ma'am." One of her phones rang. "Oh. Need to take this. Thanks again." She flipped the phone open as she walked out the front door.

Anna stood in the middle of the shop floor, the weight of it all seeming to hit her all at once. Littlest Pet Shop had been her dream – well, her secondary dream, anyway, but the one she put the most pride and hard work into – and now that business was so bad that she had to even think about closing the doors for good….It weighed so heavily on her mind that until now, she tried not to think about it.

Littlest Pet Shop was one of two pet shops in town – not counting the brand names such as Petsmart and Petco – along with Fisher Biskit's Largest Ever Pet Shop. Littlest Pet Shop was advertised as catering to pets rather than selling them – Anna believed that no pet should ever be in a cage; pet carriers and cages were two different things – so why not have a store with all the amenities that a pet needed? Why not be part pet shop, part pet day care? The day camp in the back, where she had met that young girl, Blythe, less than an hour ago, was open to all customers, not just the regulars, and it was free of charge. Anna supplied the food, water, toys, and beds; the only things she ever charged for were the supplies out on the main floor – the toys, the pet food, the food and water bowls, the rodent cages, the pet beds, the litter boxes – everything that just about every pet, from dogs to cats, and even the more exotic pets such as Penny Ling and Minka, would ever need.

Unfortunately, Largest Ever Pet Shop threatened her, had been threatening her since it first opened its doors several years ago. No matter what she tried, Anna just couldn't keep up with Fisher Biskit. He was a businessman, and Anna – she was a retired quilter who decided to open up a pet shop. How could she ever hope to compete with a person of Fisher's standing?

"I'm really going to miss this place," she said as she wiped away the tears forming in her eyes.

###################################

The pets couldn't believe what they'd just heard! Littlest Pet Shop – closing?

"Say it ain't so, Zoe!" Pepper pleaded.

"I'm afraid it is, Pepper," Zoe said solemnly.

"I – I – I don't want Littlest Pet Shop to close," Penny Ling sobbed.

"Where would we go for Day Camp?" Minka asked.

Vinnie was clinging to the wall with his gecko feet, smacking his head against the wall. "If only there was someone who could help us! Someone we could talk to, someone who could understand and communicate with us! All we need is just one person!"

"We get it, Vinnie," Russell said flatly. "So, who would that one person be?"

"Blythe?" Penny Ling asked.

"Not now, Penny Ling," Russell said, ignoring her.

Penny Ling walked over to Pepper and Zoe, who were huddled next to the tree in the middle of the room. "We could ask Blythe."

"Penny Ling, can't you see the gravity of the situation?" Zoe barked.

"Wait a minute," Russell said. "That girl….She said she could understand us. What was her name again?"

"BLYTHE!" Penny Ling screamed. "HER NAME IS BLYTHE BAXTER!"

"Yes, that's it," Russell said. "Thank you, Penny Ling. But you know, you didn't have to shout."

 _If you'd only listened to the panda before, I wouldn't have had to shout,_ Penny Ling thought silently.

#########################################

Blythe's head was hurting. This was one serious migraine. She figured she should probably get some water when she woke up.

Which would be any minute now; she was starting her first day at her new school today, and she didn't want to oversleep, despite how tired she was from yesterday's trip.

"Wake up, Blythe."

"Good morning, Dad," Blythe yawned. "I had a crazy dream last night. I met a talking porcupine and a bunch of other talking animals in the pet shop down below."

"Actually, I'm a hedgehog."

Blythe's eyes snapped open. She sat up. Standing on the bed, right next to her, was Russell the Hedgehog.

"Morning."

Blythe screamed. "IT WASN'T A DREAM?!"

"Nope. Sorry. Also, don't worry about the whole 'hedgehog is a porcupine' thing. It's a common mistake."

"WHY!" Blythe shouted. "Why can I suddenly understand you guys? Or pets in general? I'm not Doctor Doolittle!"

"That's not the important thing, Blythe," Russell said. "The important thing is – hey, what's that sound?"

He turned around, Blythe looking over his furred, prickly shoulder, to see the other pets rummaging around her room, getting into her closet, her dressers, her art and makeup and sewing supplies.

"HOLD IT!" Blythe shouted, catching their attention. "You mind explaining just how in the world you got in here?"

"We took that moving elevator box thingamajig," Vinnie explained.

"You mean the dumbwaiter, right?" Pepper corrected him.

Vinnie glared at the skunk. "The heck'd you just call me?"

Blythe ignored the pets; she began to pick up her room, putting the clothes and shoes and all the art and sewing supplies back where they were supposed to go.

"Blythe, we need your help," Russell said. "We wouldn't be here if we didn't. And what we need your help with is keeping Littlest Pet Shop from going out of business."

"And just how in the world and I supposed to prevent that from happening?" Blythe asked. "I'm just one person, and do you really think people are going to start shopping at the place just because a teenager says so? I doubt it."

From the corner of her eye, she saw Zoe flipping through her sketch pad. "Hello, what have we here? This look just has 'Zoe' written all over it!" Zoe ripped the paper off the pad, leaving the human head on the rings, and held the part with the dress design up to her neck, looking at herself in the mirror.

"Hey, you know what?" Blythe asked. "That actually does look pretty good."

"It stinks," Sunil grumbled. He held one paw over his nose and pointed to Pepper with the other paw.

"Oops. Sorry," Pepper said as she curled up into a gray and white ball. "A little nervous I guess. I've never been anywhere but the Day Camp and my owners' place."

Blythe let out a frustrated sigh. "What in the world am I doing?" She took the design away from Zoe, just as her father's voice filtered in through the door.

"Blythe, you awake" he asked. "You don't want to be late for your first day of – YOW! What is that smell?"

"Get back in the dumbwaiter, you guys," Blythe silently hissed. "Go, go, go!" She ushered the seven pets back into the box.

"Blythe, are you feeling okay? Or did a skunk sneak into your room?"

"I feel fine, Dad," Blythe called out to him. She slapped a hand over Pepper's mouth, keeping her from speaking up, even though she knew Roger wouldn't hear her. "No skunks in here." She turned back to the pets. "Back to the pet shop with you."

"Wait, Blythe," Russell pleaded. "If you don't help us, LPS will close its doors for good, and we'll all have to go to Largest Ever Pet Shop."

"How's that any different?" Blythe wondered.

"It's the biggest, coldest, most unfriendly pet shop in all of Downtown City, if not the world," Russell said. "Everyone is kept in separate cages, so we can't play together. The snacks are bland and tasteless. And the squeaky toys aren't squeaky! It's a nightmare, Blythe! That's why we need your help!"

"But – but why me? Why not Mrs. Twombly? She owns LPS, doesn't she? Shouldn't she fight to keep her store open?"

"You'd think that," Russell replied. "But you're the only one who can understand us. That and you live right above the shop, whereas Mrs. Twombly lives all the way on the other side of town. You're the obvious choice."

"Please say you'll help!" Penny Ling pleaded. "Please please please PLEASE say you'll help!" She stared at Blythe, her eyes seeming to grow larger. The other pets joined in, all staring at her, all whimpering with sadness. Their big, puppy-dog like eyes seemed to bore their way into Blythe's soul, guilt tripping her the same way Roger would with her mom.

Blythe sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay. I'll help. I don't know what I'll do, but I've got all day to think of something, I guess."

"You'd better think fast," Russell said. "You have to save the shop by tomorrow."

"What..the…WHEN!"

###########################################

Blythe had no time to think about what Russell had just told her; if she didn't get dressed, she was going to be late for her first day of school, and Roger was going to be late for his flight. Not that they would leave without him; he was the pilot, he needed to be there.

So she quickly got dressed, swapping out her pajamas for a gray T-shirt and blue jacket, black shorts, pink knee-high boots, and braiding her hair into a ponytail, before rushing out the door, following her father to the car.

As she passed the pet shop window on her way to the car, she heard the pets cheering for her through the glass. She quickly climbed into the back seat and fastened her seatbelt.

"Blythe, do you hear that?" Roger asked. "What IS that noise?"

"Just construction," Blythe lied. "You know – big city stuff and all that." She looked back to the pet shop; the pets were still cheering for her.

 _I seriously can't believe I'm about to do this,_ she thought. She leaned up to the front seat, pulling Roger's hat down over his eyes. "Oops!"

"Hey!" Roger's foot hit the gas pedal, and they sped off down the street.

Roger pulled his hat up from his eyes. "Blythe, what was that all – OH MAN!" He quickly swerved to avoid an oncoming taxi. They heard the driver scream at them, but couldn't make out what he was saying.

Blythe sank back into her seat. _Not your smartest move,_ she silently scolded herself.

A few minutes later, they'd pulled up to Downtown City High School. Blythe took in the sights of the two story building, the football field and track behind it, the students crowding the sidewalk, the picture of a big goofy looking hedgehog on the sign – _Home to the Downtown City Hedgehogs. Go figure_ , she thought – and that was when the nervousness hit her like a freight train. She wasn't as nervous as she was whenever someone pointed a camera at her, but this was her first day in a new school, with people she didn't know.

That wasn't entirely true. She had a feeling that the twins, Whittany and Brittany, would be here. They had to be – they were the same age as Blythe, so it stood to reason that they would go to the same school. There was a good chance they even had the same classes together, which Blythe was beginning to dread already; she'd only met the twins yesterday, but she could tell that they were….She didn't want to say, or even think, that particular word, but that was how she felt about them. She didn't care for how rude they were. Blythe had declined their offer to go to the mall as politely as she could – she had had a lot of unpacking to do, and she was mentally exhausted from the trip on top of that; discovering later on that she could talk to animals didn't help much – and they had treated it like the most offensive thing ever. Blythe had heard of overreacting, but that was just insane.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "A new adventure for the both of us, I suppose."

"That's right, Blythe," Roger said. He patted her on the shoulder. "Now get in there, learn something, and make some new friends."

"I will, Dad," Blythe said as she slung her book bag over her shoulders. She leaned up to the front seat to give her father a hug. "Love you, Dad."

"I love you too, honey. My flight's all the way to London, so I won't be back until sometime tomorrow evening. But I know you can take care of yourself."

"I've managed this long," Blythe said as she climbed out of the car. "I'll see you when you get home." She shut the door, letting him drive off.

She never noticed the long, black limousine pulling up to the curb just as Roger pulled away.

#########################################

Whittany and Brittany Biskit rolled down the window of the limousine's door and glared at Blythe as she made her way to the doors to the school. After the way she'd insulted them yesterday by DARING to say no to them, they still hadn't forgiven her. How could they? No one had ever said no to the Biskit Twins before. They were too rich, too popular, for that sort of thing.

It helped that their father, Fisher Biskit, owned Largest Ever Pet Shop, the biggest pet shop in all of Downtown City. Two Petsmarts and a Petco had already been run out of business, and Littlest Pet Shop was next on the chopping block.

Their father was sitting directly across from them, his face hidden by the morning newspaper, one leg crossed over the other. The driver, the butler Francois, was already climbing out of the driver's seat and making his way to the back so he could let the twins out.

"Have a good day, girls," Fisher said, never lowering the newspaper from his face. "And try not to get expelled today," he added with an exasperated sigh.

"Sure thing, Dad," Whittany said as she climbed out of the car.

"We'll, like, give it our best shot," Brittany added as she followed her sister.

################################

Russell had gathered all the pets at Day Camp together to start a brainstorming session. They needed to come up with a way to save Littlest Pet Shop from being another victim of Largest Ever Pet Shop, and they needed an idea as soon as possible. There was less than twenty-four hours to go before Mrs. Twombly closed the doors for good. Most of the shelves were already barren, the supplies sold during last week's going out of business sale or thrown away by Mrs. Twombly herself.

It tore the seven of them up inside to see their beloved shop owner so downtrodden. They were so used to seeing her smiling and happy almost all the time, whether she was refilling the food and water dishes, cleaning the shop floor, talking with customers – when there still were customers to talk to – and spending play time with them and any other pets who may have come to visit the Day Camp while their owners were out for the day.

Even Minka, who was the happiest of the pets, her energy and excitement almost contagious, was in a sour mood over what was going on. She loved Mrs. Twombly as much as any of the other pets. She didn't want to leave Littlest Pet Shop. She dreaded having to go to Largest Ever Pet Shop – she'd heard the stories, heard how it was impossible for a pet to have a fun time there. It was like a nightmare come true.

"Okay, pets," Russell said when everyone had gathered around. "We need to figure out how Blythe can help us save Littlest Pet Shop."

Zoe stepped forward. "A benefit concert! Every musician and singer we can get! I, of course, would be the star attraction."

"Yeah, that ain't happening," Pepper said. She waddled over to her box of comedy props and pulled out a clown nose and a fake arrow – the nose went over her snout, the arrow over her head; it had a curve in it, allowing her to wear it like some sort of hat or other such accessory. "A comedy show. That's clearly the thing that'll bring in the crowd. I'd be the starting act, and then we bring in that guy with the dummies and maybe even Old Bananas himself!" The other pets shook their heads.

Pepper reached into her box again, this time pulling out a rubber chicken. "Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?" No one bothered to answer. "Because he wanted to STRETCH his legs! Get it?" No one laughed. "Wow. Tough crowd."

Vinnie pushed Pepper to the side. "Two words for you, Miss Clark – Dance-A-Thon!" He saw Russell glaring at him, but began a tap dance routine anyway – a routine that was ruined when he stepped on his tail, sending him crashing into the nearby toy box. "One word for you, fellow pets – ouch!"

Sunil stepped forward, now having donned his silk hat and magician's cloaks. "Maybe Blythe could simply make Mrs. Twombly's problems disappear?" he suggested. He dropped a smoke pellet, which exploded in his face, covering him with soot. "Never mind," he coughed.

Russell chattered in frustration. "You know, just once – JUST ONCE – I would like to get some input that didn't involve someone trying to one-up the other! Is that too much to ask?" The other pets just ignored him, doing their own thing – singing, dancing, painting, telling lame puns, twirling ribbons, pulling fake bunnies out of a silk hat. Russell let out an exasperated sigh, wondering why he was even bothering.

########################################

Blythe's first day had gone relatively smoothly so far. She'd met her teachers – the only one whose name she could remember at the moment was the most recent teacher she'd had, Mrs. Mondt, the math teacher – and had spoken with one of her fellow students, a dark skinned boy who had introduced himself as Jasper Jones, an aspiring filmmaker.

Now that the first few periods were over, it was time to swap her books.

If only she could get her locker to open. The thing was stuck so tight it wouldn't budge. She had had this problem earlier, but it had opened after she smacked it. She tried smacking it again, only succeeding in hurting her hand this time.

"Am I locker challenged or something?" she wondered out loud.

"Having trouble?"

That voice….It belonged to Jasper, who was joined by two girls – a pale skinned girl with bright red hair, wearing a bright yellow T-shirt and orange sweats, and a girl of Asian descent – possibly Korean, maybe Vietnamese – wearing a green T-shirt with a heart design on it, blue denim shorts and black spandex leggings.

"It's my locker," Blythe said. "Stupid thing's stuck. I got it earlier, but now it's being really stubborn."

"I had that locker last year," Jasper said as he walked up to it. There's a trick to it. You got the combination?" Blythe pulled a slip of paper out of her pocket. "We met in math class, didn't we?"

"Yeah. Jasper Jones, right?"

"Yup."

"Sue Patterson," the red-headed girl introduced herself.

"Youngmee Song," the Asian girl put in. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise. I'm Blythe Baxter." She looked over her shoulder as Jasper kicked the locker and pulled on it as hard as he could.

"You're new, aren't you?" Sue asked.

"Just got in yesterday," Blythe answered. "Me and my dad." She heard a loud CRASH; looked over her shoulder to see Jasper lying on the floor, the locker door wide open. "Let me guess – you pulled on it really hard?"

"After I gave it a good kick," Jasper said as he picked himself up.

"Where do you live?" Youngmee asked.

"Down on Oak Street," Blythe said as she walked back to her locker. "Right above that weird little pet shop."

"Littlest Pet Shop?" Jasper asked with excitement. "Oh man, I love that place!"

Blythe replaced her math and science books with her history and English books. "I guess you didn't love it enough. Mrs. Twombly's closing the doors for good soon."

"Yeah, I heard," Sue said. "Ever since Largest Ever Pet Shop came to town, it's stolen a lot of business away from LPS and a bunch of those chain stores as well. Petsmart and Petco have already closed a few stores in and around the city because of them."

"My Aunt Chrissie told me that Littlest is going to be closing within the next day or two," Youngmee said.

"I feel so bad for poor Mrs. Twombly," Jasper put in. "She's a sweet old lady."

"It's pretty depressing," Youngmee added.

"You want to know what's even more depressing than that?" Sue asked. "Largest Ever is owned by Fisher Biskit, the father of the local mean girls, Whittany and Brittany."

"The Biskit Twins," Jasper gagged. "More like the Biskit Bi –"

"Jasper, what did I tell you about that?" Sue snapped.

"Sorry."

"I know who you're talking about," Blythe said. She then added, with as best an imitation of the twins as she could: "We've, like, met already." They all shared a good laugh at Blythe's jab at the twins.

"Hey, you want to join us for lunch?" Sue offered.

"Sure," Blythe accepted. "It's better than standing in the middle of the room like a dork."

#####################################

Lunchtime had come faster than Blythe had expected. Her stomach was growling; she had no idea she was so hungry! And on today's menu: Fish fillet sandwiches, fruit salads, no-bake cookies – which Blythe didn't really care for – and a variety of fruit, including apples and bananas.

Youngmee was closely examining her sandwich. "Too much pepper. Not enough seasoning. Bun soggy as a wet sponge. How is it not illegal to call this a fish sandwich? McDonald's has better fish fillets than this!"

Jasper laughed, nearly spraying Sue with the food in his mouth. "It's funny because it's true."

"Say it, don't spray it, Jasper," Sue said as she guarded herself from Jasper's culinary onslaught.

"Sorry," Jasper said after swallowing. "What do you think, Blythe? Blythe?" He noticed Blythe staring off in the distance, one hand resting on her sketch pad. He'd seen her carrying it around all day, but hadn't asked what it was for. All he knew was that it was something called "Blythe Style", judging by the bright pink words on the cover.

"You say something, Jasper?" she asked. "Sorry. I was just thinking about Littlest Pet Shop again. I told Russell I'd help save the store, but I have no idea what to do."

"Russell? Who's that?" Jasper asked.

"Oh, just some guy I know," Blythe quickly said, instantly regretting having even brought up his name. "Short guy, spiky hair, definitely not a porcupine." She let out a nervous laugh as her three new friends just stared at her like she was the nine headed circus freak.

She was about to change the subject when Whittany snatched the sketch pad off of the table.

"Hello, Blythe," Whittany said snidely. She handed the sketch pad to Brittany. "So, like, why exactly are you carrying this thing around, anyway?"

"Unless you really want other people to see your designs, for whatever reason," Brittany said as she opened the pad.

The twins flipped through the pages, gagging and making sick faces at the images they saw.

"Yuck."

"Gross."

"Disgusting."

Brittany slammed the pad closed. "Blythe Style? More like Blech Style."

"Okay, Blythe," Whittany said. "Your little drawings aren't that good. But we'll give you one more chance. If you want to sit with us at our lunch table, you're more than welcome to."

"Gee, I'm so tempted," Blythe said. "But I'm sitting with my new friends. People who aren't jerks like you two, sorry to say. So again, no thanks."

The twins' eyes grew wide as saucers. "Did Blythe just say no to us two days in a row, Brittany?" Whittany asked.

"She, like, did," Brittany growled.

Whittany leaned down, pressing her face against Blythe's. "Look here, Blythe Baxter. By saying no to us –"

"For the second time!" Brittany added.

"You just got on our bad side," Whittany continued.

"And we overheard your little conversation about Littlest Pet Shop," Brittany said. "You may as well stick to your trashy designs."

"Yeah, because nothing you or your little friends do will save it from its fate," Whittany added. "Let's go, Brit." They turned to leave, Brittany throwing the sketch pad on the floor as they walked away.

"I think we need a new word for 'mean'," Jasper said when the twins were out of earshot.

Blythe picked her sketch pad up off the floor. She flipped through it, making sure the drawings weren't damaged in any way. As she looked at the drawing Zoe pulled out this morning, an idea came to her. She remembered the way Zoe looked with the drawing held up to her in the mirror, remembered how good it looked, how fitting it was.

The spark of creativity had just been ignited.

"You guys, the twins just gave me a killer idea of how to save Littlest Pet Shop!" Blythe announced.

########################################

The seven of them had spent the better part of the day imagining what tomorrow would be like. They imagined being dropped off at Littlest Pet Shop by their owners, only to find the store closed for good, and having to be moved to Largest Ever Pet Shop. They imagined being thrown into cold, metal cages against their will, bland water and tasteless kibble being the only things they would have to eat or drink. They imagined those horrible Biskit girls laughing at their misery, gleefully taking in the pets' agony and horror. And Mrs. Twombly would be unable to do anything about it.

The very idea of such a thing made them all scream.

They heard the door open; saw Blythe walk up to Mrs. Twombly, a sketch pad in her hand. The two humans began to talk, but the pets couldn't make out what they were saying, not through the glass.

"Blythe looks super excited about something," Minka pointed out. "Wish we could hear what they were saying."

Zoe cleared her throat and pointed to her ears. "Allow me. I can hear the mailman from five blocks away. Listening to a conversation through a pane of glass should be easy." She pressed her ear against the window. "Okay. It sounds like….Yes! I've got it! Blythe is sure to set fire to Littlest Pet Shop! Wait, that doesn't sound right." She pressed her ear against the glass again, listening closely, motioning for the other pets to be quiet.

#################################

"You have a way to save my shop?" Mrs. Twombly asked.

"I'm sure it sounds crazy," Blythe said. "And besides, I'm just one kid, but –"

"Don't forget, dear, I was just one kid a long time ago myself," Mrs. Twombly told her. "So, what's your idea?"

Blythe held up her sketch pad and opened it up. "Well, I love designing clothes, but I never figured I'd do anything with my hobby outside of it just being a hobby. But now I think I can design some clothes for pets. It's just the same thing, but on a smaller scale and a bit fuzzier. What do you think, Mrs. Twombly?"

"Well, pet clothes are pretty popular," Mrs. Twombly mused.

"The idea came to me today during lunch at school," Blythe continued. "I could make a few outfits for the pets in the Day Camp, and we could put on a fashion show. The pets would be the models. People would come, see the shop, and remember just how much they loved it."

"I'm already loving the idea," Mrs. Twombly said.

"And to help business boom again, LPS would be the only place in Downtown City where they could buy the clothes." Blythe handed the sketch pad to Mrs. Twombly, letting the older woman flip through its pages.

"Blythe, these outfits are simply adorable."

"It's worth a shot, Mrs. Twombly," Blythe assured her. "At the very least, if Littlest Pet Shop DOES end up having to close its doors, it won't be without a fight. Go down swinging, am I right?"

Mrs. Twombly slowly closed the sketch pad and handed it back to Blythe. "Let's do it."

The pets came rushing out of the Day Camp through the little pet door, leaping at Blythe's feet, yapping and chattering happily. Blythe couldn't help but laugh.

"Look at them. It's like they knew what we were talking about," Mrs. Twombly said.

"Yeah," Blythe said as she knelt down to pet the seven little animals. "How about that." She silently chuckled, knowing that Mrs. Twombly still thought that Blythe was making up the whole thing about being able to understand the pets.

##########################################

Blythe, with the help of the pets, spent the rest of the afternoon designing outfits for all seven of them. It was easy to figure out what design would work best for each pet – she'd seen their personalities yesterday, and they always said that the clothes matched the man. Or in this case, the animal.

It wasn't very easy, though – animals had less patience than humans, especially when one of the animals was a hyperactive monkey. Still, she managed to get her designs off of the page and under the needle, stitching them together based on the drawings. They even held a rehearsal for the walk down the runway – minus the outfits, as they were still unfinished at this point.

Blythe was impressed; rehearsal went well, save for when Vinnie tripped and hit Russell, who rolled into a ball and slammed into the other pets. They all glared at Vinnie for causing the mishap, before sharing a good laugh.

Even more impressive to Blythe was how she had gotten so used to this talking to animals thing. Yesterday, when the pets began talking to her, and she began talking to them, she had been a nervous wreck, but now it was like she'd always had the ability, like it was meant to be or something.

With the outfits finished and rehearsal wrapped up, it was time to hand out the flyers, which took a good three hours. Blythe had packed up her scooter with as many flyers as she could, stuffed the pets into the sidecar, and they started making their rounds, posting the flyers on every mailbox, telephone pole, and window they could.

Just out of spite, if nothing else, Blythe even stuck a few flyers on the windows of Largest Ever Pet Shop.

##############################################

The twins stared at the flyers all over the windows of their father's pet shop. Bright pink, dark purple, paw print designs, advertising a fashion show to save Littlest Pet Shop with pet clothes designed by –

"Blythe Baxter," Whittany hissed.

"Blythe Style," Brittany grumbled. "Yech." She ripped a flyer off of the glass. "Though I have to be honest – this is a pretty good idea."

"Too good," Whittany said. "We need to ruin it, and we need to ruin Blythe."

"Yeah. Like, forever." She ripped the flyer apart. "What's the plan, Whit?"

Whittany just smiled. Brittany knew that look, she'd seen it on her twin sister countless times throughout their lives.

Brittany had a wonderful idea.

An awful idea.

Brittany had a wonderful, awful idea.

And they only had tonight to put it into action.

#############################################

Anna couldn't believe the turnout they'd generated. There must have been at least five hundred people in the crowd out there, way more than she'd anticipated. She was expecting maybe one or two hundred, but not this many.

She slipped back behind the curtain of the stage they'd had put up and back into the pet shop, just as Blythe was finishing up putting the pets in their various outfits.

"Those flyers of yours really worked, Blythe," she said.

"Hey, the idea was to impress the people and draw them in, and from the sound of things out there, I'd say we succeeded."

Jasper, Sue, and Youngmee came through the door. "Blythe, I got a question," Jasper said. "Where exactly are you going to come up with all that free money you're advertising?"

"What are you talking about?" Blythe asked. "I'm not advertising any free money."

Jasper handed her a stack of flyers. "That's not what the paper says."

Blythe looked at the flyers. They were hers, alright – same design, same slogan, just with one difference.

At the bottom of the paper, written in dark red marker, was "Come get free money!"

Blythe nearly dropped the flyers, she was so shocked. "WHAT THE WHAT?! No no no, that's not right! Mrs. Twombly, I didn't do this! You know I didn't! You saw the original flyers! I have no idea how this happened! Who could have done this?"

"Good question," Sue said. "Sounds kind of mean if you ask me."

It suddenly hit Blythe who was responsible.

The Biskit Twins.

#############################################

"That was a good idea to write that on those flyers, Whittany," Brittany said. The twins were hiding from the crowd behind a nearby mailbox, both of them dressed up in cat costumes, hoping to blend in with all the pets that had been brought along.

"We needed to make sure there were enough people here to see Blythe make a complete fool of herself," Whittany said.

"Okay, but I've got just one question – why are we dressed up like kitty cats?"

"It's called being undercover. We need to blend in with all the other animals, remember? We've been over this, Brittany."

"Oh, that's right. But what's with the chocolate icing and kitty litter?"

"It's simple," Whittany said. "We'll climb up onto the catwalk and wait for Blythe to come out. When she does, we dump this all over her and those stupid pets of hers, embarrassing her and ruining her little fashion show, thus making one hundred percent certain that Littlest Pet Shop STAYS closed down."

"This is surprisingly well thought out of you," Brittany complimented her sister.

"I know. I know."

They waited until the coast was clear, before making their way to the stage.

#########################################

Mrs. Twombly sorted through her wallet, trying to ignore the crowd's chants for free money. She'd only come up with some pocket change and a one dollar bill.

"I think we're going to need a lot more money to satisfy everyone out there," she said.

"Forget the money, Mrs. Twombly," Blythe said. "I'll just have to go out there and let everyone know that there's been a big misunderstanding."

"Let me handle it, Blythe," Mrs. Twombly offered. "They can't be that angry. After all, they're about to see the best fashion show of their lives." With that, she headed out the door and to the stage.

Blythe rolled her eyes and held her head in her hands. "I did not need this right now. I'm already a nervous wreck."

"No, you're going to do great," Jasper assured her. Sue and Youngmee both nodded in agreement.

"Thanks," Blythe said. "For a moment I thought I'd have to rely on the pets to talk me through this one."

Her three friends just stared at each other for a moment, before turning to Blythe, looks of confusion on their faces. "The pets?' Youngmee repeated.

"Oh, um….Metaphorically speaking," Blythe quickly said. "Oh, those pets. They're so cute and NON-VERBAL!" She began making animal noises, barking like a dog, chirping like a bird, meowing like a cat, hooting like a monkey.

"Yup, it's official," Jasper whispered. "The pressure's gotten to her. She's snapped."

Blythe pushed the three of them out the doors and back onto the sidewalk. "Okay, you three need to go mingle. I've got a lot of finishing up to do before the show starts. See you later!" She slammed the doors closed, leaving Jasper, Sue, and Youngmee incredibly confused.

###########################################

Anna stepped out onto the stage, a microphone in hand. She did her best to ignore the crowd chanting for the free money. She wanted to break the news of the mix-up to them, but she also didn't want them to be any angrier than some already were; they had been waiting for, to them, what must have felt like several hours, and if they weren't getting what they had been told they'd get….Anna had no idea how they would react.

 _But it must be done._ She held the microphone up and began speaking into it.

"Hello, citizens of Downtown City, and welcome to the first ever Littlest Pet Shop Pet Fashion Show! Unfortunately, there has been a bit of a misunderstanding. Some of our advertisements were unintentionally altered, so there will be no free money." She was greeted by several annoyed groans, at least one "BOO!", and the crowd began to disperse. "But don't you worry! You're still going to see the show of a lifetime!" She lowered the microphone, mimicking her own downtrodden spirit. "Oh, Blythe, I hope this works." She stepped back behind the stage curtain.

The lights lowered, the music started up, and a large spotlight shone down onto the stage, catching everyone's attention. The people who had started to leave came back, intrigued, as Penny Ling made her way down the runway, wearing a traditional Chinese robe and twirling her ribbon.

Cameras flashed and shutters clicked as photos were taken of the small panda.

Next up was Minka, dressed as a French artist – blue and white striped shirt, black beret, carrying an art easel and a paint brush. She drew a brown moustache on a clean-shaven young man, eliciting laughter from the crowd before she turned to go backstage.

Pepper was next, dressed up as a rodeo clown. One onlooker in the crowd leaned in close to get a whiff of her flower she had pinned to her chest, only to get water sprayed in his face.

Vinnie came next, dressed up like the late Michael Jackson – white gloves, white jacket, white hat with a red strip; he even moonwalked out onto the stage. He did a quick twirl – again, just like the late pop star – before handing the stage over to an incredibly nervous Sunil, dressed in a blue and purple plaid raincoat with matching hat and umbrella.

In his nervousness, Sunil opened the umbrella, only to have it snap closed on him. Vinnie rushed to open the umbrella up again to free his mongoose friend.

To the crowd, Sunil had simply disappeared – another magic trick – but Vinnie knew the truth, as he was looking at Sunil clinging to the inside of the umbrella, his little paws holding on as tight as they could.

"It helps maintain the illusion," he whispered.

Vinnie carried the umbrella – and Sunil – backstage, allowing Zoe, dressed in an outfit befitting the current musicians – to strut out onto the runway as though she owned it. Having performed in many dog shows and beauty pageants, it was natural for Zoe to feel right at home, and in some ways, she was glad that she had been saved for last; she was what the show was building up to. Russell wasn't performing – he was staying backstage, making sure everything ran smoothly.

Russell watched from behind the curtain, watching the crowd gawk in awe and amazement at the various outfits on the other pets. Everything was going smoothly; Littlest Pet Shop was going to be saved!

Something fell from the sky, something gray and made up of tiny stones. He looked up at the catwalk above the stage, saw two girls dressed as cats standing above him, large metal buckets next to them.

He could only think of two people who it could be, but he needed to be sure. Besides, whoever it was, they were probably planning on sabotaging the show, and he couldn't have that, not after Blythe and Mrs. Twombly worked so hard to put it together.

He climbed the nearby ladder and spotted them, recognizing them instantly despite their makeup and their costumes.

Whittany and Brittany. In the buckets next to them was chocolate icing and cat litter. Russell figured they had planned to dump that on Blythe when she walked out on stage.

"Not if this hedgehog has anything to say about it," he muttered. He ran over to the twins, chattering wildly, catching their attention.

"AH! A porcupine!" Whittany screamed.

The girls fell over the railing, falling to the stage below. Russell grabbed the buckets, stopping the twins a few feet from the stage. The entire crowd just stared at them, Blythe, Mrs. Twombly, and the other pets joining in, not sure what to make of all of this.

"I! AM! A! HEDGE! HOG!" Russell yelled as he released the buckets, dropping the girls onto the stage. The buckets fell onto their heads, covering them in icing and cat litter.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, before everyone – minus the twins, of course – broke out into uproarious laughter. They climbed to their feet and ran down the street, more humiliated than they had ever been in their entire lives.

#####################################

Littlest Pet Shop had never been this busy! Everyone who had attended the fashion show was now in the shop, buying whatever their budgets allowed – food, bowls, beds, toys, even some of the outfits Blythe had made earlier.

Anna wiped some sweat from her forehead. "Whew. Business is booming." She turned to Blythe, who was handing a customer a cute pink and white dress for her kitten. "Blythe, you really saved my bacon. I don't know how to thank you."

"No need, Mrs. Twombly," Blythe said. "Happy to help."

"Well, I have to do something to show my appreciation," Anna said. "With all these customers, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up…unless you want to come work for me after school and on weekends?"

"Really?" Blythe asked. "I'd love to!" She turned to the seven pets, who were on the counter nearby. "Did you hear that? Sounds like you'll be seeing a lot more of me around here."

"Good thing you were able to fit into the dumbwaiter," Vinnie said, eliciting a glare from Pepper and Zoe. "What'd I say?"

Blythe laughed. "Yeah. If I were a little bigger, I never would have met you guys, and I never would have been able to help Mrs. Twombly save Littlest Pet Shop."

"Excuse me, young lady?" an older man holding a small dog asked. "Did I just hear you talking to your pets?"

"Yes. Yes you did. Don't you talk to your pet?" Blythe asked.

"All the time," the man answered, cuddling the dog and cooing in a high-pitched voice.

The dog just turned to Blythe. "Here he goes again with the baby talk," he whined. "I'm twenty-seven dog years old, for crying out loud!"

########################################

Roger had gotten back from his flight a little later than expected. He was expecting Blythe to race out the door to meet him, not the long line of people waiting to go into the pet shop. The line must have stretched all the way down the street and around the corner; Roger had never seen this many people outside of the airport.

"Did I miss something?" he asked himself as he climbed out of the car.

Blythe ran out of the shop and leaped into his arms. "Dad, you're home!"

"What's all this about?"

"Long story short, my designs helped Mrs. Twombly save Littlest Pet Shop."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah." She looked up at the starry night sky. "Mom would have liked to see that."

"I'm sure she would have." He pulled Blythe in for a light hug. "Way to go, Blythe."

Blythe smiled and returned his hug, wondering if she should tell Roger about her new ability, about how she could talk to the animals, and how they could talk back to her.

No, that could wait for another time. Right now, she was just glad to have been able to help someone in need.

 **(*HI, FOLKS, KENNY HERE. WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND IF SOME OF YOU ARE A LITTLE BURNED OUT FROM READING THIS, BUT LET ME JUST SAY THAT NOT EVERY CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE A MARATHON LIKE THIS ONE. I'M MAKING A NOVELIZATION OF A TELEVISION SERIES, MEANING THAT MULTI-PART EPISODES ARE GOING TO BE REALLY LONG CHAPTERS. WITH THAT SAID, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS FAN NOVELIZATION OF LITTLEST PET SHOP!*)**


	2. Bad Hair Day

BAD HAIR DAY

THE PHONE RANG THREE TIMES BEFORE ANNA PICKED IT UP.

"Good morning. Littlest Pet Shop. We don't sell pets, we cater to them. How may I help you today?"

A harsh cough was the reply she got. "Hello, Mrs. Twombly," the voice on the other end said. She recognized it as Raoul, the shop's regular pet groomer. He sounded terrible, his voice hoarse and cracking, and he sounded like he was stuffed up as well. "Just calling to say that I won't be coming in today. I've caught that nasty bug that's going around."

"Oh, well, if you're sick you're sick," Anna said as Blythe walked past, having just come in to start her day. It was the girl's third Saturday working at Littlest Pet Shop, and Anna could tell that she was enjoying every second of it. "Get some rest and here's hoping for a speedy recovery."

Raoul coughed again. "Thanks, Anna."

Anna hung up and placed the phone back on its rack.

"What's wrong with Raoul, Mrs. Twombly?" Blythe asked.

"Oh, I'm in such a mess here, Blythe," Anna said. "That nasty bug that's been going around just had to pick today of all days to hit Raoul."

"The regular groomer?"

"Yes, and today's the last day anyone wants to get hit with that nasty flu."

"Why? Busy day?"

"No, just one client. A very important client, at that. I have no idea what to do, Blythe."

Blythe thought for a few seconds. She'd shadowed Raoul whenever she had the chance, watched how he groomed the pets, be they regular – like the seven in the day camp, or a pet stopping by just for the day – so she knew how he operated, knew how he did things. She learned that each pet is different, has different needs, that not any two dogs or cats or ferrets or birds are alike. Each one was just like a person, with a different personality and a specific way they liked to be groomed.

Though that usually fell at the behest of the pets' owners.

"I could fill in for Raoul," Blythe offered.

"You sure about that, Blythe?"

"Sure I'm sure. I've watched Raoul. He's given me pointers. And besides, I've got a lot of experience making things look absolutely beautiful. I'll admit, I've never groomed an animal before, but I used to give fabulous makeovers to my dolls, and I have to say, they looked pretty dang awesome. If I do say so myself." She thought back to when she was younger, cutting her dolls' hair, making them look positively gorgeous, showing them off to everyone. She still didn't understand why they all laughed or stared at her with shock; the makeovers she'd given to the dolls were the best she had ever seen. "You can count on me, Mrs. Twombly."

"Well….Sure, why not. Take a chance, am I right?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Twombly. You will not regret it. So, who's the one client for the day?"

"Zoe."

"YEEEEEEEEEEES! YES YES YES YES YESYESYESYESYEEEEEEEES!" It was a dream come true, being Zoe's groomer. Zoe was already a beautiful dog, and Blythe would do her best to make Zoe the most gorgeous Cavalier King Charles Spaniel this side of the Atlantic Ocean.

She would need a picture to compare from Roger, of course – he was on another flight to Britain today, and had some time to go touring around before he had to come back to the states, so there was a chance he'd get a photograph.

Blythe's squeals of delight hurt Anna's ears; she had to cover them with her hands. "You're really enthusiastic about this, aren't you?"

"Are you kidding? I get to groom Zoe! That's so cool!"

"Just make sure that you do as good a job on Zoe as you do on those dolls of yours, dear," Anna said.

"Sure thing, Mrs. Twombly," Blythe squealed as she ran to the day camp.

No sooner did Blythe leave did someone walk through the door, someone Anna recognized. Marcus Payne, Downtown City's own art critic.

"Good morning, Mr. Payne," Anna greeted. "How's everything in the art business?"

"Dismal, as per the norm," Marcus replied. He picked up a squeaky ball from the nearby shelf and gave it a good squeeze. "Do you have any idea how difficult life as an art critic can be? No offense, but most people these days don't know what good art is; most of the stuff I see that people flaunt around as 'art' is just garbage. I've seen finger painting monkeys do better than most of these hacks."

Anna couldn't help but giggle; Marcus's remark made her think of Minka and her habit of finger painting everything in sight. She was such a silly monkey.

"Anyway," Marcus continued as he rummaged through the shelves. "I stopped by to pick up something for Genghis." Genghis was the little white Shih Tzu Marcus was carrying in his arm. "We just came from the city museum, and he saw a dreadful display there that nearly sent the poor pup into a fit." He looked at the day camp window, spotted the paint splatter all over the glass. "My word!"

"Oh, I see you've spotted the work of our resident artist, Minka." She spotted Minka watching them through the glass; gave the monkey a little wave. "I'm sure it looks a little messy."

"Messy?" Marcus repeated in disbelief. "Woman, have you gone mad? This Minka you're talking about is a true artistic genius! She could be famous! A superstar entitled to all sorts of cash and prizes in art contests and museum exhibits! So inspirational! Why, I do believe that I have regained the skills needed to once again criticize the art world!" He started walking towards the door. "Life is good sometimes, isn't it, Genghis?"

 _Yes, well, isn't that nice?_ Anna thought as she made her way back to the front counter. _Minka, a superstar artist._

 _#################################_

The seven pets had heard what that man had said to Mrs. Twombly. The idea of Minka being a superstar artist….It sounded absurd. And yet there Minka was, stars in her eyes. She imagined her works being displayed in an art gallery, other pets asking her the secrets of her artistic genius. Of course, she would never tell – secrets were supposed to be kept secret, after all.

Vinnie, Russell, and Sunil walked over to a piece Minka had just finished up this morning, something she had named "Spider Monkey Freakout".

"I can see it, I can totally see it," Vinnie said. "There's the monkey's head, and there's the butt – no, wait, maybe it's the other way around?"

"Well, not going to lie, it's a little better than the one she did yesterday with all that spent hair Zoe and Sunil shed," Russell said. "You know, that thing she called 'The Back of Blythe's Head'?" He turned to Minka, who was standing nearby. "No offense, Minka."

"Don't worry," Minka said. "It wasn't my greatest work."

Little did that man who was in here a moment ago know that Minka painted by just flinging paint everywhere, or sometimes just dabbing paint on her paws and smacking her paws against the canvas.

Which she was currently demonstrating, splattering paint everywhere – on the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling, on Blythe.

"Oops. Sorry, Blythe. Didn't see you there."

"Of course you didn't," Blythe snarked as she wiped the paint off of her face with a towel. She dropped the towel in the dirty towel bin and turned to Zoe, who was laying nearby, chewing on a dry bone. "So, Zoe, ready to be groomed by a pro?"

"So Raoul finally got here?" Zoe asked.

"Nope. You've got a substitute groomer today – yours truly."

"You?" Zoe asked in disbelief. "But – but what happened to Raoul?"

"He caught that nasty bug that's been going around," Blythe explained. "So Mrs. Twombly asked me to fill in."

"Please tell me you've got at least a LITTLE bit of experience as a groomer," Zoe pleaded.

Blythe picked the little dog up off the floor. "Mostly my dolls from when I was little," Blythe replied. She carried Zoe to the grooming area. "Never done a dog before, so this will be interesting. Anyway, are you ready for a brand spanking new Zoe Trent? Because that's what you're going to get!"

Zoe just looked at the girl, her puppy dog eyes filled with worry.

#######################################

Minka had taken a break from painting to swing from the tire tied to the tree in the middle of the room. She saw Russell approaching, figuring he was probably waiting his turn. She barely heard him calling out her name, until he stopped the tire, grabbing it with his little hedgehog paws.

"Hey Minka, can we talk?" Russell asked.

"Of course we can," Minka answered. "I mean, if we couldn't talk, you couldn't have asked me that question, and I wouldn't be giving you this answer, and Sunil and Vinnie wouldn't be laughing at Pepper's joke, and we couldn't have heard Blythe telling Zoe that Raoul was out for the day so Blythe was going to be the groomer, and –"

"A simple yes or no would have sufficed, Minka. Let's get to business. Now that you're going to be a big superstar artist, I just wanted to offer you my help to guide you through this crazy world. You know, like your agent or something."

"You'd do that?" Minka asked.

"I'm a helping hedgehog, it's what I do."

"Usual, then? Ten percent of what I get? I get ten bananas, you get one?"

"My dear monkey friend, we have ourselves a deal. Paw shake."

"Hey, wait a minute," Vinnie called out. Neither of them had seen him sticking to the wall, or seen the other pets gathering around them. "We can all pitch in, help Minka be number one."

"Wait a minute, Vinnie," Russell started.

"Yes, even I shall lend my assistance," Sunil put in.

"I don't know about this," Russell said. He was starting to get worried.

Pepper spoke up. "Relax, Rus. It's all about positioning the brand, am I right? You know I'm right." She leaned in close. "Using the meaning behind Minka's art to sell her to the public!"

Minka sank into the tire. She didn't like where this was going. She didn't mind the praise, but it sounded like everyone except for Russell – who so far was the only one who genuinely seemed to want to help Minka become even a little bit successful as a monkey artist – was in it for more selfish reasons. They'd all heard what that man had said about Minka, and now they wanted to be a part of it. She wouldn't have minded, if they weren't trying to force their way in. She only agreed to Russell because he had OFFERED his assistance instead of trying to shove it down Minka's throat like a rotten banana she didn't want to eat.

Penny Ling caught her attention as she walked up to the window. _Oh, good,_ Minka thought. _A panda who doesn't put herself first._

"What's the meaning behind this painting, Minka?" Penny Ling asked.

"Well, it –" Minka began, but Pepper interrupted.

"Well, clearly, it represents the struggle of the masses," she said. "Upper class versus lower class."

"It's obviously the sadness of flowers," Sunil guessed.

"I know!" Vinnie cried. "Actually, wait, no I don't."

"Personally," Russell said, "I think it has different meaning on different levels, and it's all depending on who looks at it and how they look at it. It's far too complex for us non-artists to understand."

Minka climbed higher into the tree, away from the other pets as they began to argue. She lay on her belly on one of the larger branches, looking down on her fellow Day Campers as they discussed the meaning of her art amongst themselves.

 _I'll tell you what it means,_ she thought sadly. _I was just having fun throwing paint at the window. Can't you all see that?_

It was clear to her that they could not.

It was clear to her that they were all being selfish and wanted some of the success that that man had said she'd get.

It was clear to her that her friends did not have her best interests in mind.

############################################

Blythe worked the scissors, trimming Zoe's fur down as short as she'd seen Raoul trim it. Zoe was much more comfortable now than she had been earlier, especially when Blythe started telling her about her days at her old school, as well as how things were going at her new school. Blythe briefly mentioned her late mother, how her father was away more often than either of them would have liked, and brought up general gossip from around town.

Zoe stopped paying attention when Blythe started talking about what one girl said to another girl, who told that thing to another girl, who told that thing to this boy the first girl liked. Zoe was all for romance and love triangles and all that, but honestly, when it came to human teenagers, it could be downright silly at times. It made those soap operas John and Clarissa, Zoe's owners, watched seem believable.

"I don't know how the stylist I go to can talk and cut my hair at the same time," Blythe said, the first thing Zoe actually heard.

"You're doing it right now," Zoe said. "And I think you're doing just fine, darling."

"Thanks, Zoe," Blythe said. "Okay, I think we're all done…." Her voice trailed off as she looked at the horror sitting on the table in front of her.

Blythe had cut Zoe's fur too short in some places, leaving nothing but the dark dog skin. There was a bald patch on her head, the fur around her ears was unkempt, her tail was trimmed down until the only fur left was on the very tip, her entire back end was completely bald save for a few stray hairs here and there.

Zoe was no longer the beautiful dog she was before. Now she looked like something had assaulted her, dragged her through a field.

And Blythe now remembered why all those people laughed at her dolls, or stared in horror at them. She never made them beautiful and gorgeous, she made them hideous and disgusting! What she had told Mrs. Twombly – it was all wrong, all a lie! Blythe had remembered things wrong, blocked out the ridicule and convinced herself that she was an excellent groomer, and now she had gone and ruined Zoe! Mrs. Twombly would never forgive her; Mr. and Mrs. Trent would be furious; she would be a laughingstock, and through her actions, ruin Raoul's reputation! He would be out of work, she would be out of work, Zoe would never be the respectable dog she was ever again!

"This isn't good," Blythe whispered as she turned away from Zoe. "This is not good at all!"

"Did you say something, Blythe?" Zoe asked.

 _Oh boy! Did Zoe hear me? Dogs have great hearing; she heard me, didn't she?_ She turned back to Zoe. "I said….I said this looks good!" she lied. She grabbed a broom and began to clean up the mess she made, not wanting to tell Zoe about how dreadful she looked.

"This is simply fabulous," Zoe said. "When John and Clarissa come to pick me up this afternoon, we're going straight to the Manchester Kennel Club Dog Show."

Blythe felt her blood run cold. No wonder Mrs. Twombly was so upset that Raoul had called off; Zoe was going to a dog show this afternoon!

"You mean – this afternoon, this afternoon?" Blythe asked.

"That's right," Zoe responded. "It's one of the most famous dog shows in the whole country! And with you grooming skills, I'm sure to win Most Beautiful Dog and Best In Show. Don't you think?" Blythe could only nod her head in reply and let out a tiny squeak. "So, where's that mirror? I'd like to see your handiwork, if it's not too much to ask."

 _OH NO! Quick, Blythe, think of something!_

"Um….We're all out of mirrors," she fibbed.

"No you're not," Zoe said as she hopped off the table. She made her way over to a nearby cart. "There's one over here, isn't there?"

"NO!" Blythe dove for the cart, dragging Zoe along with her, slamming them all against the nearby wall. There was no way she was going to let Zoe see the mess that she had become, not until she found a way to fix it.

####################################

Everything had calmed down in Day Camp, thankfully, allowing Minka and Russell time to talk together in private. They were sitting on Minka's favorite bed, just beneath the birdhouses hanging from the hamster tubes lining the ceiling. The other pets had gone off to quietly talk by themselves, though Minka had an idea of what they were discussing.

Her future as an artist.

"So, Minka," Russell said. "As your agent, I'll do everything in my power to slowly and carefully grow your career. Think of your career as a tiny flower bud that will eventually blossom." He brushed Minka away; she was picking fleas out of his fur. "Will you cut that out? This is important stuff we're talking about, Minka. You can pick my fleas later, if I have any."

"I counted five. Named them Chico, Groucho, Harpo, Zeppo, and Gummo."

"You named my fleas after the Marx Brothers?" He shook his head. "Never mind. Listen, Minka, what I would like to see is you becoming a world-famous artist whose works are in near constant demand."

"I'm not sure I want to be world famous," Minka said. She started bouncing around, her energy seeming to come back after her slump earlier. "I just want to paint, paint, paintpaintpaintpaintPAINT!"

"I understand," Russell said. "But I have a plan that will make you so successful, you could paint, paint, paintpaintpaintpaintPAINT any time you want."

"MEETING!" Vinnie and the other pets stormed past them, bring them along, dragging them into the middle of the room, sitting in a circle with Minka at the center.

"Hey! I was not informed of any meeting!" Russell protested.

Pepper cleared her throat; clearly, this was going to happen with or without Russell's consent.

"Welcome, fellow pets, to the launch of our new product, Minka Inc."

"I still say we should have called it Minka Inka," Penny Ling said.

"Penny Ling, we've been through this already," Pepper grumbled. "That name makes about as much sense as…well, anything that doesn't make a whole lot of sense."

"Yeah, but it's a cuter name. And it rhymes!"

"Who cares about cuteness or rhyming? I have no idea what that name means, therefore, it makes no sense!"

Minka lowered herself to the floor as much as she could. It had barely been an hour – or was it ten hours? Minka had no sense of time – and already they were acting like this again. It really upset her, but so far, once again, Russell had seemed to be the only one concerned. At least he had protested this "meeting", which not even he or Minka had been informed of.

"Pets, please," Sunil said. He patted Minka on the back, perking her up a little bit. "Don't forget about our client."

"Excuse me, but since when did she become our collective client?" Russell asked. "I'm her agent! You should go through me with any future meeting requests. You should have consulted me before this. And for crying out loud, where's the fruit tray? We need grapes."

"Let's get back on topic," Pepper said. She brought out a toy computer. "Our angle of attack for…." She glared at Penny Ling. "MINKA INC., is to create a website. Sell her art online. Like that site about that rain forest, whatever it's called. Post the dates of multiple art gallery gatherings – make sure the top critics will be there, that's important – and who knows, one day we'll build and launch the _S.S. Minka_ luxury cruise ship!"

"Okay, those are all pretty neat ideas," Russell said. He saw Minka from the corner of his eye, saw her picking fleas off of her own head. "But WHAT does that have to do with her art?"

"Not a thing," Pepper blatantly admitted.

Vinnie leaped up. "It has everything to do with us becoming rich and famous! That's what!"

"Amen, my good gecko," Pepper said. "What do you think, Minka?"

Minka absentmindedly flicked the flea behind her. "Um….Yeah, I missed everything past the "Welcome everyone' part. Can you repeat that?"

The circle dispersed. Sunil set up an art stand, complete with a canvas, several cans of paint of various colors, and a set of brushes of various sizes.

"We're going to need a lot more of your painting for this to work," he said.

Russell glared at him. "What is this WE stuff? I didn't see any of you step up to be her agent before me. At least I've got Minka's best interests in mind."

Vinnie spoke up, ignoring the hedgehog. "So you're going to have to busy making all that pretty paint stuff."

"That's right," Penny Ling agreed. "Focus on being the genius we all know you are, Minka."

Minka turned from the art stand to glare at them. She slowly dipped a brush into the purple paint, turned to the canvas –

And froze.

"Okay," Pepper said. "Someone know what she's up to?"

"Um….Focusing on being a genius like Penny Ling asked?" Russell guessed.

They all just watched Minka, who was still frozen in place, her paint brush lazily spinning about in her hand, just inches away from the canvas.

#####################################

Zoe still couldn't understand why Blythe was so adamant about not showing Zoe the fruits of her labor. She was certain that Blythe had done a fantastic job, just as she'd said she would. So why wasn't she letting Zoe see how beautiful she looked? She had to look just as good, if not better, than she did when she went up against Madam Pom, didn't she?

She was starting to get impatient.

"Blythe, I insist that you show me the results of your hard work," she said. "Mirror. Show. Now." She spotted one on the sink behind Blythe, a small handheld mirror. That would do nicely.

Before Blythe could react – for whatever reason, she had gone completely catatonic – Zoe hopped off of the table, walked over to the sink, leaped up onto a cart and put herself in front of the mirror.

That….That THING looking back at her – that wasn't the Zoe she was this morning. She had been near immaculate, and now, now…..Now she was a hideous beast, no longer the purebred she knew she was, but rather, an ugly, revolting mutt. She whimpered as she studied herself, unable to remove her eyes from the image looking back at her.

"Oh Zoe," Blythe said quietly. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I was so excited to be your groomer for the day that I let it all go to my head and didn't watch what I was doing. I don't want anyone to see you like this. I promise, I'll figure something out. I'll find some way to fix this mess and make you beautiful again."

"Beautiful?" Zoe repeated as she turned away from the mirror. "I'm ruined, Blythe. RUINED!" she howled.

"I thought I heard a yelp back there," Mrs. Twombly called from the other room. "Is everything okay in there, Blythe?"

Blythe quickly put Zoe down on a nearby pillow, covering her up with a soft blanket and placing some cucumbers over her eyes, just as Mrs. Twombly came through the curtain separating the grooming area from the main shop floor.

"Everything's fine, Mrs. Twombly," Blythe said nervously. She was terrible at telling lies; not letting her friends and father know about her secret ability to talk to animals was one of the easiest to tell, but she had been lying about that for nearly three weeks now. "I was just giving Zoe my special pet spa treatment. Soothes and beautifies all at the same time."

For a moment, she wondered if Mrs. Twombly was going to believe her. She felt her heart leap into her throat, her stomach tighten into a knot as the older woman looked Zoe over.

"That sounds wonderful," she said after a moment. Blythe quietly let out the breath she'd been holding. "Maybe you could give me your special spa treatment some time later."

"Maybe I could," Blythe said. "We'll see." Mrs. Twombly nodded and smiled, then walked back to the main shop floor.

Blythe slumped to the floor, relieved that Mrs. Twombly hadn't discovered Zoe's poor state.

Zoe shook her head, flinging the cucumbers off of her eyes. "I just had the craziest dream, Blythe. Raoul caught the bug that's been hitting everyone, and you were my substitute groomer. It wasn't pretty."

Blythe swallowed and held the mirror up for Zoe to see. "Oh. It wasn't a dream."

"No, Zoe, no it wasn't."

"It's not a dream," Zoe whispered. Then, she suddenly shouted: "IT'S A NIGHTMARE!"

"Zoe, I told you, I'll fix this," Blythe said. "I promise."

"Or, you could just admit how badly you screwed up to Mrs. Twombly," Zoe suggested dryly. "It'll probably go a lot more smoothly."

"I don't want to disappoint Mrs. Twombly or your owners," Blythe said. "Besides, I can't stand the thought of leaving you like this. This was my mistake, and I'm going to fix it."

"Now that I would love to see," Zoe remarked sarcastically.

##################################

It had been…however long it had been since Minka froze up like that, standing in front of the canvas, that blank stare still on her face, her entire body stiff as a board, the brush just inches from the canvas.

"What's wrong with Minka?" Penny Ling asked, her voice filled with worry.

"It's like she's completely shut down," Sunil observed. "Like the cowardly cobra, when confronted with my fearsome awesomeness."

"There's gotta be some way to get this monkey painting again," Vinnie said. He started walking over to Minka. "Hey, Minka! Right now, you're the only thing standing in my way of being famous, having a fortune, so would you PLEASE start painting? A stick figure would be a good start. Maybe a fly." Nothing; Minka was still just standing there, frozen like a statue. "Minka!" Vinnie yelled. "We can't sell air paintings! Even I'm not stupid enough just to buy a blank canvas! Paint something, for crying out loud!"

"Let me try," Pepper said; she'd procured a bowl of wax fruit from her box of comedy props. She held the bowl on her tail as she made her way over to Minka. "Minka!" she called out, talking like a television spokesperson. "All this delicious fruit could be yours, for the low low price of just one artistic masterpiece!" No response from the monkey.

Russell joined them. "Hey, at least you're taking my advice about the fruit tray. Too bad Penny Ling ate it all."

Penny Ling was sitting against the wall, popping fruit into her mouth. She gagged as she chewed on the apple.

"Yeah, it's wax fruit, Penny Ling," Pepper said. "You think I'm going to keep real fruit in the box? It'll spoil like a sour egg on a hot summer morning."

"BLECH!" Penny Ling hurried over to the water bottle and started drinking, trying to wash the taste out of her mouth.

 _That panda sure can put it away, though,_ Pepper thought. _Where's it all go? That big head of hers?_

The door to the day camp opened. Blythe ran past them, sprinting as fast as she could to the nearby closet.

"Blythe!" Pepper called after her. "We need your advice on something!"

"Not now!" Blythe cried as she ran back to the door, carrying all sorts of supplies with her – glue, needle and thread, and a bucket. "Grooming emergency! Angry dog! Need to fix! Talk later, fix dog now!" She bolted out the door and back into the shop.

"And we've got a painting emergency," Sunil said. He turned to Russell. "You're her agent. Isn't there something you can do?"

"I don't know," Russell said as he watched Minka. "We could tell everyone she's a pantomime painter."

##################################

Blythe dropped the supplies she pulled out of the closet in the day camp on a table. "There. I've got three hours before Mr. and Mrs. Trent show up. Plenty of time to fix my mistake before anyone figures out that I messed up." She picked up an electric brush. "All it's going to take is a little high energy problem solving. Hold still, Zoe." She ran the brush over Zoe's body.

The good news was that all her bald spots were now covered up.

The bad news was that what fur she had left was incredibly puffy.

"Yeah, that's not going to work." She used a dust pan to gather up all of Zoe's cut fur, before picking up a needle and thread from the table. She began to stitch together a dog sweater, stitching as fast as she could, and within less than a minute, had a sweater just Zoe's size. She slipped the sweater over Zoe's head. "Not too bad, right?"

"It would be fine," Zoe said. "If it covered up more than just my torso, and if it didn't itch." She started scratching, causing the sweater to fall apart.

"Okay, Plan C," Blythe said. She started rummaging through the pile of stuff she'd brought from the closet. "Let's see here….Super glue! That'll do the trick!" She set Zoe's cut hair out as best as she could, before squirting glue over it and rolling Zoe over the fur like the dog were a rolling pin.

Zoe looked even worse than she did a moment ago, but Blythe figured that once she dried the glue, everything would be fine.

The blow drier just blew the fur – glue and all – off of Zoe's body.

 _Fine, then,_ Blythe thought. _Time to MacGuyver this._ She grabbed a nearby lamp, ran out onto the main floor to grab some duct tape, taped the lamp to the bucket, attached the motor from the blow drier, and after procuring a blow torch and a welding mask from seemingly nowhere, began to weld it all together.

"What in the world is that?" Zoe wondered.

"You'll see," Blythe said as she ran the flames over the strange contraption she was cobbling together. She attached some wheels, a control panel, and plugged it into the wall.

Blythe rolled the machine over Zoe and turned it on.

Zoe's bald patches disappeared in an instant, and she had even donned her favorite black beret again.

Blythe held the mirror up to Zoe, letting her get a good look at herself, her real self, thanks to the hologram machine Blythe had somehow managed to build in less than thirty seconds.

"This just might work," Zoe said. "If I stay in one spot. Unfortunately, in dog shows, you move around a lot."

Blythe was running out of ideas. She was about to slam her head against the wall when Mrs. Twombly's voice came over the speaker system.

"Blythe, Space Cadet Twombly calling. Just thought I should let you know that John and Clarissa will be here in about ten minutes to pick up Zoe."

"WHAT THE WHAT? No! I still haven't fixed my mistake!"

"And you've got much less time than you anticipated."

"Thank you for reminding me, Zoe," Blythe snapped. She walked over to the wall and started banging her head against it.

She stopped when her forehead started to hurt. "I've got no other choice," she said. "I'm going to have to come clean."

"Which is what I suggested earlier."

"I know," Blythe said. "It's time I faced the music for my crimes against good grooming."

"And me!" Zoe cried. "I'm the real victim here, Blythe!"

Blythe wanted to say something – anything – but the only thing she could think of was another apology, and so far, that hadn't fixed anything. Zoe was still a mess, Blythe had still royally screwed up. Mrs. Twombly would never trust her again. Mr. and Mrs. Trent would never forgive her.

What to do, what to do?

#######################################

They tried everything they could to get Minka to move from that one spot. They enticed her with kibble. Vinnie tried smacking her with his tongue. Sunil, Pepper, and Penny Ling started throwing pet toys at her head.

Minka still hadn't budged. She was still frozen, still in that catatonic state.

Penny Ling walked over to Minka and lightly tapped the monkey on the shoulder. "Minka? Are you in there?" No response. Penny Ling turned back to the other pets. "You guys, I think we may have had something to do with this. I'm getting the feeling that this is kind of our fault."

"That's ridiculous," Vinnie said with a dismissive wave of his pads. "We're trying to help her, not…not-help her."

"That's right," Sunil agreed. "We only have her best interests in mind."

Pepper pushed her way between the two male pets. "Well, something tells me that Minka's best interests and our best interests aren't exactly going paw in paw. Penny Ling might be right. We've put so much pressure on her. We're the ones who wanted to be rich and famous and exploit her skills. Minka never wanted to be recognized."

"It's not _our_ fault, Penny Ling," Russell spoke up. "It's _my_ fault. I have to be the worst agent in the history of bad agents."

The other pets were about to say something when they heard the door to the pet shop open. They recognized the people coming into the store as John and Clarissa, Zoe's owners.

####################################

"Hello, John and Clarissa," Anna greeted them as they came through the door. "You're here for Zoe, aren't you?"

"We sure are, Mrs. Twombly," Clarissa said.

"Well, where is she?" John asked. "Where's our sweet little Zo-Zo?"

Blythe did what she could to stifle the scream building up in her throat. She adjusted her blouse, turned to Zoe, took a deep breath, and prepared herself for what was coming to her.

################################

Russell waved a paw in front of Minka's face. There was still no reaction. He had no idea how long she had been like this; all he knew was that if he didn't do something, and do it now, Minka would be like this perhaps for the rest of her life.

He turned to address the other pets. "I need to consult with my client privately, please," he said. "That means the rest of you have to go somewhere else and leave us alone." He waited until the other pets had walked away before returning his attention to Minka.

"Minka, listen. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I wasn't the best agent that I could have been. I tried to look out for your best interests, but everything just sort of fell apart. Can I ask a favor? Can you forget about all the other pets' plans for you? Can you forget about my plans for you? Forget about how we wanted you to be rich and famous so that way we could ride the wave of your success. Just….Just be yourself, Minka. That's all I'm asking. Will you do that, Minka? For yourself, if no one else?"

For the first time in he had no idea how long, Minka's body relaxed. She turned away from the canvas to face him.

"Do you really mean that, Russell?"

"I do," Russell said. "I'd like to see you going back to painting because you like to paint, not because it's going to make you some fancy superstar that everyone looks up to. None of us need that kind of pressure. And besides, what's a pet going to do with fame and fortune, anyway? We'll forget about all that other junk; just grab a brush and have fun with it."

Minka collapsed, dropping the brush on the floor next to her as her back hit the ground. She quickly leaped back up to her feet.

"Thank you, Russell! You really are a good agent after all." She pulled Russell in for a hug, only to get one of his spines stuck in her cheek. "OW!"

#################################

Blythe stepped out from behind the curtain, holding Zoe behind her back. She wanted to come clean, she wanted to confess her mistake, but at the same time, she didn't want anyone to see Zoe in the state she was in. Trying to rectify what she'd done had only seemed to make things worse, and it just delayed the inevitable. Everyone was going to be angry with her; Mrs. Twombly would probably ban her from Littlest Pet Shop; Zoe was already angry, and who knew how the other pets would react if they saw her like this.

She took a deep breath and prepared for the punishment.

"Blythe, dear, it's so nice to see you again!" Mrs. Trent said. "How are things going with you?"

"Well….You know, the usual. Go to school, come home, hang out with Jasper, Sue, and Youngmee, come work at the pet shop, play with the pets, help Mrs. Twombly out, that sort of thing."

"And a big help you were today, Blythe," Mrs. Twombly said. "She totally saved the day. Raoul caught that nasty flu that Mr. Carpenter had last week and couldn't come in, so Blythe stepped up to the plate."

"Wait, wait, wait, back up," Mr. Trent said. "Raoul's sick?"

"And Blythe groomed our little Zoe?" Mrs. Trent asked.

"Gave her a spa treatment and everything," Mrs. Twombly boasted.

"But we entered her in the Manchester Kennel Club Dog Show," Mrs. Trent protested.

"I know," Mrs. Twombly said. "Fortunately, Blythe's a master at this sort of thing, if you can believe it. Of course, she practiced on her dolls, but still."

Mr. Trent looked like he was about to faint. Blythe couldn't blame him; if he didn't collapse now, he would when he saw just how badly she'd ruined Zoe.

Blythe took a deep breath, ready to accept her punishment.

"Okay, I'll admit. I, Blythe Betty Baxter, am totally, absolutely, one hundred percent responsible for what you are about to see."

"Sounds like someone put an extra dose of self-esteem in her breakfast this morning," Mrs. Twombly said.

 _They won't be complimenting me when they see what I've done to poor Zoe,_ Blythe thought. She closed her eyes and, ready for the worst, pulled Zoe from behind her back.

"My word," Mr. Trent gasped. "She's, she's…."

"She's beautiful," Mrs. Trent finished.

Blythe opened her eyes, surprised to see Zoe all fixed up – no bald spots, no matted fur, a tiny red bow tied in the fur on her head.

"Wait, what did you just say?" She turned Zoe around to get a better look. "But – but how?" She looked around, spotted Minka under a table, holding two paint brushes, one in each paw, and realized instantly what had happened.

Minka had seen the horrible state Zoe was in and painted her to look immaculate.

 _Thanks, Minka,_ Blythe said silently in her head. _You really saved my bacon this time._

Mrs. Twombly put a hand on Blythe's shoulder. "I should get some credit as well, for giving you a chance to prove yourself. And I'd say you succeeded."

"It wasn't easy, Mrs. Twombly," Blythe said.

"Oh, don't be so modest. Blythe, tell me, would you like to become my official backup groomer?"

"Uh – no. No thanks, Mrs. Twombly. I mean, I appreciate the offer, but there's no way I could possibly accept your kindness." She did her best not to convey the nervousness in her voice. "Besides, Raoul's the master at this sort of thing. Besides, I need to focus on Blythe Style. That's what I'm really good at. Besides, I think I overestimated my haircutting skills just a little bit."

"A little bit?" Zoe repeated, though to everyone else in the room, she just let out a tiny bark.

###################################

Blythe joined the rest of the pets in the day camp, listening to how the nearly drove poor Minka to insanity by pushing her to be a famous monkey artist. She would have laughed, if she wasn't so burned out from screwing up Zoe's grooming.

It was amazing that no one had noticed Minka painting Zoe. The painted fur felt dry when Blythe was holding her, felt like actual fur. Maybe next time Raoul called in sick, she would let Minka handle Zoe's grooming.

Minka was running around, playing, kindly brushing off everyone's apologies.

"That's okay! Don't worry about it! Over it! No big deal!"

"But maybe you could make one itty bitty teeny weeny little painting I could sell?" Sunil asked, eliciting a glare from Russell. "Okay, forget I said anything, Minka."

Minka hopped over to him and patted him on the head. "Thanks, Sunil. You're a good friend."

"And I want to thank you, Minka," Blythe said. "You really saved me out there. Though I'm surprised I didn't get in trouble for what I did to Zoe."

"Don't worry," Minka said. "You will."


	3. Gailbreak!

GAILBREAK!

BLYTHE WAS AMAZED AT HOW QUICKLY EVERYONE HAD FORGIVEN HER AFTER what happened with Zoe two weeks ago. She'd been able to stay at the pet shop, which was fine with everyone – Blythe, Mrs. Twombly, the pets. And today, a Sunday, after Roger left for a flight to Canada, Blythe was taking Zoe for a walk. She needed her exercise, and besides, Blythe wanted to get some things for the other pets.

They'd picked up some new leg warmers for Vinnie, a watermelon mallet for Pepper, and a set of antique doorknobs for Mrs. Twombly. Blythe had to laugh at the old woman and her penchant for collecting doorknobs; buttons, stamps, bottle caps, and even shoestrings, she could understand, but doorknobs? That was one of the oddest things she'd ever heard of anyone collecting. She was always on ebay, on Amazon, sorting through the junk sales at the local flea markets….Blythe supposed it was rather charming, despite how odd it was.

"There's just one thing left to get," Zoe said. "Nose cream for my sister Gail."

"I didn't forget about your sister," Blythe said.

Zoe's sister, Gail, was visiting the day camp today while her owners were in town. Blythe was so excited to meet her, just as much as Zoe was. She'd been going on and on about Gail ever since they learned she was coming to Littlest Pet Shop, and that was three days ago. Of course, to Zoe, it could have been several weeks ago; most pets had no sense of time, after all, living only in the moment.

"Gail is an absolute hoot," Zoe continued as they kept walking down the street, Blythe struggling to maintain her grip on the leash as the excited dog started to run ahead. "You would not believe some of the crazy situations she's gotten herself into."

Blythe was glad to get Zoe out and take her for a walk, but did their path have to lead them past Largest Ever Pet Shop? Even just looking at it made Blythe feel cold. It was like the unfriendliness of the place was radiating off of it.

"I didn't tell you about the time Gail got herself stuck in Largest Ever Pet Shop, did I?" Zoe asked as they passed the front doors of the rival shop. "Wait." She ran back to the doors, looking through the windows. "I don't believe it! Gail's stuck in Largest Ever Pet Shop!"

"What?" Blythe joined her, looking through the windows, spotting another Cavalier King Charles Spaniel in one of the pet pens, her fur a lighter shade than Zoe's, and looking incredibly depressed. "Poor thing."

"Gail isn't going to last one day in that dreadful place," Zoe cried. "Look at her, Blythe. So depressed, so distraught, so sad."

"Um, Zoe, I feel bad for the dog too, but are you one hundred percent sure that's Gail?" Blythe asked.

"Of course I am," Zoe replied. "I'd know my sister anywhere." She pointed at the dog with a paw. "Look at that collar. Only my sister could wear a collar like that. Gail's the only one who could make it look that fabulous."

"Okay, so how'd she get herself stuck in Largest's day camp?"

"I don't know, Blythe, but we need to find some way to spring her out!" She screamed, hiding behind Blythe, as something rolled past, carrying an orange tabby. "What is that?!"

"What the huh?" She watched as the robot rolled past several customers, dropping the tabby off in one of the day camp's pet pens. "You have got to be kidding me. The Biskits have their own robot?"

"Life on the inside must be so horrible for my dear sister," Zoe said rather melodramatically. "A place like Largest Ever Pet Shop will destroy her from the inside. It'll kill her very soul!"

 _Chewing the scenery, much?_ Blythe thought. She picked Zoe up off the ground and gently ran a hand along the fur on her head, just behind her black beret. "There must have been some kind of mix-up by her owners. They must have thought they were dropping her off here instead of over at Littlest. So I think if we go in there and explain things to the Biskits, we'll be able to get her out. It's worth a shot. Come on, Zoe."

Blythe walked through the automatic sliding doors, still cradling Zoe in her arms. She set Zoe on the floor as soon as they were inside, regaining her grip on the leash.

"So this is Largest Ever Pet Shop," Blythe observed. "Wish I'd remembered to bring a jacket or something; it's cold in here." They started walking down one of the aisles. "We probably need a map, too. This place is big. And it certainly feels like the Biskits." They both groaned at the thought of meeting Whittany and Brittany in here.

Blythe never noticed the twins standing in front of her until she nearly ran into them.

"Well, Whittany," Brittany said. "Look who decided to bring her pooch into our outrageously large store."

"Um, Blythe?"

"That was rhetorical," Brittany hissed.

Blythe quickly regained her composure. "Oh. Hi. I was just talking about you."

"You were talking about us to your dog?" Whittany asked, causing Brittany to laugh. They both started laughing at the thought.

Little did they know that Blythe really could talk to animals.

Zoe couldn't help herself; she started growling at the twins. Just the sight of them, the monsters who had trapped her dear sister in this prison for pets, was making her blood boil.

Blythe pushed her way past the twins. "Look, there's only one reason I'm in here. There's a dog in your day camp that wasn't supposed to come here today. She's Zoe's sister, Gail."

Whittany and Brittany quickly moved to block Blythe's path again. "Too bad for you," Whittany said.

"And too bad for, like, whoever the heck Zoe is," Brittany added.

"Come on, girls, be pals for once. Help me out here," Blythe pleaded.

"Sorry, can't do that," Brittany said.

"But we know someone who can," Whittany put in. "Monban! You're needed!"

The robot Blythe and Zoe spotted earlier rolled up to them, allowing Blythe to finally get a good look at it. Its main body and head were pure white, with a dark visor running perpendicular to the center of its head. In the center of the dark visor was a single red eye. Its faceplate was shaped to resemble a mouth full of teeth. The robot's arms and the lower part of its body were made up of dark gray tubes. In the center of its torso was a control panel of various colored buttons. Also on the control panel was a green battery meter, showing how much power the automaton had left. It rolled around on one singular tire, like it were riding a unicycle. Just looking at the robot made Blythe nervous. What were the twins going to have it do to her and Zoe? Did it have weapons stored in there? It looked like Rosie the Robot, but for all Blythe knew, it was as dangerous as RoboCop.

The robot spoke in that typical synthesized, computerized voice. "By your demand."

"Blythe, Blythe's Dog, meet Monban," Whittany introduced the robot. "The only robot pet shop security guard in all of Downtown City, if not the world."

"And we're the only ones who can make him do, like, whatever we want," Brittany said. "He's got this totally cool voice recognition system, making him, like, our servant."

"You want an example?" Whittany asked.

The twins both turned to Blythe, pointing their fingers directly at her, and said: "Monban – Blythe: Banned!"

"Prime directive: Obey Biskit voice commands," Monban said in that synthesized voice of his. He began rolling over to Blythe and Zoe. "I will help you out."

The robot scooped Zoe up by the scruff of her neck and grabbed Blythe by the back of her shirt. It wheeled them out the front doors, dropping them unceremoniously on the sidewalk outside. Her shopping bags followed a few seconds later.

"You have been banned from the Largest Ever Pet Shop," Monban announced. "Your ban will be lifted in three hundred and thirty-six hours, or two weeks. Have a nice day." He headed back inside.

Blythe stood up and rubbed her lower back. "What just happened?" she wondered.

################################

The pets listened as Blythe and Zoe recapped their encounter with the Biskit Twins and their robot in the Largest Ever Pet Shop. No one spoke as Blythe and Zoe recounted their experience in the rival store.

"I can't believe those Biskits kicked me out of their stupid shop!" Blythe grumbled. "I mean, why would I even want to go into their dumb store, anyway? And who the who has their own robot?" She clenched her fists and flared her nostrils. "Seriously, what the heck!"

"You should have seen Gail in there," Zoe said to Russell and Penny Ling. "So frail. So vulnerable. So scared and alone."

"I think you're overreacting a little bit," Russell said. "There's no way it could be that bad."

"Russell's right," Pepper agreed. "You're just being a little too dramatic. I mean, not more than usual, but still."

"Dramatic?" Zoe repeated. "Moi? Never. I just…feel a little faint." She fell over, right onto the pillow that Penny Ling had placed there ahead of time. "I still can't stand to think of Gail locked up in that dreadful place! It's just too much to bear!"

"Uh oh. She's about to faint on us again," Russell cautioned. "Someone do something!"

"I've got it!" Minka called out as she hopped over to the nearby radio. She pressed a button, playing an upbeat song – Zoe's favorite.

"I'm sorry, but that just won't work this time," Zoe said. "I'm far too distraught to – oh, who am I kidding?" She climbed to her paws and began to sing along.

 _Dance like you know you can_

 _You can, yeah, you know you can_

 _Dance like you know you can_

 _You can, yeah, you know you can_

 _Don't forget to dance_

 _It's the only plan, it's the only plan_

 _Don't forget to dance_

 _It's the only plan, it's the only –_

Blythe turned the radio off, interrupting Zoe. "PLAN! Yes, and that's exactly what we need if we want to get Gail out of Largest. Listen up, pets. We need to sneak in there, grab Gail, and get out before the Biskits or that robot of theirs knows we're there."

Sunil wrung his tail in nervousness. "But what if we're not back in time when our owners come to pick us up? They'll be worried. And we'll be in big trouble." He sunk to the floor and put his front paws over his eyes.

Russell patted him on the back. "Don't worry about it, Sunil. While you were fretting, I've begun putting together Operation: Gailbreak."

"I get it!" Vinnie cried. "It's like jailbreak, but with 'Gail' instead of 'jail'! Good one, Russell."

Russell pulled a diagram out from behind the tree, ignoring the gecko. "Okay, here is Largest Ever Pet Shop," he said, pointing with a paw to the big square in the center of the diagram. "It's the highest volume pet-based retailer in all of Downtown City. Not even Petsmart and Petco can keep up with them."

"We know this," Pepper said flatly. "Get on with it."

"Keep your fur on, Pepper, I'm getting into the meat of this plan. Anyway, we know that the day camp area is in the very back of the store, out of sight of all the shoppers. Each pet pen is surrounded by one inch-thick Plexiglas – it's the same stuff they use in hockey rinks or some shark cages."

"How does he know that?" Blythe asked Penny Ling.

"He watches that show about making stuff when Vinnie isn't watching The Insect Channel or _Shake-A-Leg_ ," Penny Ling replied. "Assuming he's not watching _The Duchess of Lancanshire Lane_ again."

Russell continued, ignoring them. "Step One of Operation: Gailbreak, is to get past the state of the art security systems. That's where Pepper comes in. She'll use her stink spray to illuminate the laser systems, which Vinnie will navigate and turn off the system. Let's not forget about that robot Blythe and Zoe mentioned – Monban. Specifically, the Monban 5000 Security Robot, manufactured in Osaka, Japan. It'll be up to Penny Ling to use her ribbons to disable Monban. With him out of the way, we can move on to Step Three, which involves Sunil using his hypnotic powers to temporarily disable the Biskit Twins. Step Four: Getting through the day camp's door. That's your job, Minka. Once we're inside, Zoe will implement Step Five – using her singing voice to shatter the Plexiglas on the individual crates. Blythe will be outside, guiding you all via headsets. Once Gail has been freed, we'll reunite at the rally point, outside the store. All we'll have to worry about then is getting our tails back here in time for our owners to pick us up."

He stood proud, relishing in Blythe and the other pets praising him.

"Wow, Russell, you came up with that plan in less time it takes me to come up with a dance," Vinnie complimented him. "You are good."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, WAIT ONE MINUTE!" Sunil yelled. "Are we really just supposed to simply walk into Largest Ever Pet Shop, get past a maze of lasers, disable a robot and two of the meanest girls any of us know, go into a nearly-inescapable day camp area, and just walk out with Zoe's sister like it's a casual stroll through the park?"

"That's right," Russell said bluntly. "It'll be easy. Like you said, a casual stroll through the park. Piece of cake, right?"

"Actually, I prefer pie," Sunil said, completely missing the point.

#################################

Blythe had made tight spy suits for all of them, including one for herself, for this mission. She'd placed the pets into the side car of her scooter, and was now speeding down the street towards Largest Ever Pet Shop. As they made their way to the rival store, she went over Russell's plan in her head again. It sounded simple enough, but she had a feeling that once they started to implement even Step One, things were going to go south.

The pets were a bit more enthusiastic, save for Sunil, who was the most apprehensive of them all. He was certain that this plan was going to fail before it even began. He was worried about being caught and what that would mean.

 _It'll mean spending the rest of my life in this prison for pets,_ he thought glumly.

They arrived at the store, making their way to the back, out of sight of any incoming our outgoing customers, hiding from the security cameras hanging off of the outer walls.

"Okay, let's go over the checklist and make sure we've got everything," Russell said. "Hats? Check. Belts? Check. Stylish and functional turtleneck spy suits? Check. Headsets?" He turned to Blythe, who held up one headset, a bright pink pair of headphones with a microphone attached to them.

"Sorry. It's the only one I could find."

"You have got to be kidding me!" Russell whined. "A plastic toy! Oh, man, that was going to be the best part of the plan! Oh well. Maybe the advance team won't need them. Pepper, Vinnie, you're up. You know what you're doing, right?"

"Ten-four, good buddy," Pepper said. She and Vinnie headed around the front of the store, towards the doors.

Everyone watched from around the corner, hiding behind a bush, staying out of sight as Pepper and Vinnie approached the automatic sliding doors. They waited until someone exited the store, running through the doors just before they closed.

##################################

Pepper and Vinnie swerved between the legs of the humans trudging through the aisles, avoiding the barking dogs as they made their way towards the main security room. Pepper held her tail out in front of her like she had seen action heroes hold their guns and released her stink spray, while at the same time Vinnie went past her, karate chopping and hiyaing like he were in a kung fu movie.

Too bad he wasn't as coordinated as Jackie Chan or Jet Li, because he tripped over his tail, sending him flying. He slammed into a shelf, right in the path of Pepper's spray.

"MY EYES! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"

"Something doesn't seem right," Pepper mused. "Weren't there supposed to be laser beams?" She smacked a paw against her face as the realization hit her. "The store's open, so the security system's turned off!" She listened to the sounds of the humans gagging at her stench. She couldn't help but laugh.

She was also laughing at how dumb she knew Russell was going to feel when she told him about the lasers being turned off. She turned and headed back to the doors, following the man as he exited the store.

"Hey! Russell!" she called out as she neared the bush everyone was hiding behind. "No lasers! Can you believe it?"

"What?" Russell cried.

"Yeah, because they only use them when the store's CLOSED! Duh!" She laughed before running back into the store.

She spotted Vinnie spasming on the floor as though he were having a seizure, his pads still over his eyes. "Come on, Vinnie. It's not that bad."

"Easy for you to say," Vinnie spat back. "You're the one who sprayed – what's this shadow?"

The shadow moved over them, followed by a computerized, synthesized voice.

"No pets allowed outside designated area."

"Oh, kibbles and bits," Pepper cursed.

A moment later, Pepper and Vinnie found themselves thrown into separate pet crates in the cold day camp area of Largest Ever Pet Shop.

######################################

They watched from the windows as Pepper and Vinnie were taken by Monban to the day camp area. All eyes turned to Russell; this was his plan, and since the first step had gone belly-up, it was up to him to make a Plan B.

"Okay, everyone," he said as he started pacing back and forth. "Pepper and Vinnie being capture is a minor setback. We can work around it. I've already modified Operation: Gailbreak. Penny Ling will still take out Monban as stated in the original outline."

"So excited," Minka whispered.

"Suni," Russell continued. "You'll still handle Whittany and Brittany.

He saw Minka from the corner of his eye, jittering with excitement. "I'm so excited."

Russell continued, finally turning to Minka. "And Minka, you're still in charge of getting us through the day camp door. Can you handle that?"

"SO EXCITED!" Minka screamed.

"Okay, pets, let's move," Russell commanded. Minka ran past him, hurrying to the doors. "Wow. She wasn't kidding about being excited."

Minka hurried through the doors, hooting and hollering with excitement. She was finally getting to be a part of the plan, and for once, she was helping rather than being the one needing help – last time it didn't go so well, and nearly caused Minka to have a nervous breakdown.

She looked around, finding the best path to the day camp, and began to hurry through the aisles.

####################################

The twins were supposed to be watching the security monitors, but that was so boring. Their phones were much more interesting than a bunch of television screens. If they wanted to watch television, they'd have brought a TV up into the security office.

Brittany laughed at the text message Whittany had just sent her. "You should be a comedienne," she said.

"I know, right? It'd be, like, so cool."

A strange sound reached their ears, an odd screeching sound. They looked towards the security monitors, spotting a little monkey running through the aisles. There was something familiar about this monkey, like they had seen it somewhere before. But where? They weren't entirely sure.

Whittany pressed a button on the control panel, calling Monban. "Monban! Aisle Eight. Crazy monkey."

They watched on the security monitors as Monban wheeled his way through the aisles, pushing customers and animals alike aside as he made his way towards the aisle.

"Wait, no, Aisle Seven! I mean – oh, I wish that monkey would stop moving," Whittany grumbled. The monkey kept hopping from shelf to shelf, aisle to aisle, Monban unable to keep up with the energetic little primate. "Monban, just follow that ape."

###################################

Minka kept giving the robot the runaround, leaping from one aisle to the next, doubling back, circling around it, as she made her way to the day camp.

"I'm coming to get you, Gail!"

She saw Pepper and Vinnie in the crates as she neared the door of the day camp.

"Hurry up, Minka!" Vinnie yelled. "Get us out of here!"

She's going to make it," Pepper cheered. "She's going to set us free!"

"Don't count on it," an orange tabby in a nearby crate said. "They never make it. No one ever makes it."

"I'm coming to get you Gail!" Minka cried as she ran for the doors. "And Pepper! And Vinnie! And –" She slammed her face into the robot as it wheeled into her path. "Ow!"

"No pets allowed outside designated area."

 _Bananas,_ Minka thought as Monban picked her up by the scruff of the neck. He carried her into the day camp, unceremoniously dropping her into an empty pet crate.

"What'd I tell you?" the orange tabby said. "They never make it."

###################################

They were now down three pets, and they were no closer to saving Gail. In fact, with Minka, Pepper, and Vinnie stuck in the store, they had to come up with a new plan. Plan C would have to free everyone, not just Gail.

"Okay, listen up," Russell said. He'd made another diagram of Largest Ever Pet Shop on the sidewalk, using some sidewalk chalk Blythe had brought along – just in case. "Penny Ling will have to alter the cash registers so that the next transaction made will create just the right frequency to disable the robot. But that can only work if Sunil can run within a three foot radius of the registers, the static electricity in his fur messing with their circuitry. Any questions?"

"I've got one," Blythe said. "Why's your plan so convoluted? There's a lot going on and you're asking Sunil and Penny Ling to practically do the impossible."

"Oh? And I suppose you've got an alternative?" Russell asked.

"I might," Blythe said. "You guys wait here. I'll be right back, one way or the other." She stood up and headed to the door to the shop.

The doors slid open as Blythe got close. Sure, she had been banned from the store, but that wasn't going to stop her from at least trying to help Zoe save her sister, not to mention Pepper, Vinnie, and Minka.

She hadn't even gone ten yards into the shop when she was met by Monban.

"Intruder alert," he beeped. "Intruder alert."

Blythe turned and ran, sprinting down the nearest aisle, Monban close behind.

 _I think it's working,_ Blythe thought as she ran, breathing hard as her legs carried her as fast as they could. _Zoe should be coming in any second by now, and she'll free the other pets._

"Stop!" Monban cried as they ran down the dog food aisle. Blythe couldn't help but notice the dogs on the packages looked remarkably similar to Zoe; no doubt she was using one as a disguise right now. "Resistance is useless! You will be apprehended!"

Blythe slid around a corner and leaped into a pile of pet beds, barely avoiding Monban as he rolled past a few seconds later. She sat here for a moment, trying to catch her breath.

She waited and listened as Monban rolled away. "Well, there's my exercise for the day," she whispered breathlessly. "I can only hope Zoe's freed everyone by now."

####################################

The day camp was close, less than twenty yards away. Zoe ran as fast as her four legs could carry her, ready to free everyone, to get Gail out of that dreadful place.

"I'm coming for you, Gail!" she cried as she got closer. "I'm coming for all of –" She slammed against the glass; she'd forgotten it was there. Her snout was stinging from the impact. She could hear the pets on the other side groaning as they winced at the impact Zoe made on the glass.

Someone had turned on the radio, because at that moment, Zoe's favorite song began to play. She couldn't resist; she climbed up onto her paws, starting singing and dancing along.

 _Dance like you know you can_

 _You can, yeah, you know you can_

 _Dance like you know you can_

 _You can, yeah, you know you can_

 _Don't forget to dance_

 _It's the only plan, it's the only plan_

 _Don't forget to dance_

 _It's the only plan, it's the only plan_

 _Dance like you know you can_

 _You can, yeah, you know you can_

 _Dance like you know you can_

 _You can, yeah, you know you can_

Blythe heard Zoe singing from across the room. She peeked out from her little makeshift fort, saw Zoe bouncing around on scattered pet toys, saw the customers staring at her, wondering why she was yipping at random.

"Zoe!" Blythe whispered. "Stop! Monban can year you!"

Too late; Zoe backed right into Monban.

"No pets allowed outside designated area." He picked her up by the scruff of her neck and carried her towards the day camp.

Zoe felt so foolish. She'd let her favorite song get to her, and this time, it got her captured. She was thrown into a crate, along with Pepper, Vinnie, and Minka. She growled and mentally cursed whoever made that song so hard to resist.

She spotted someone in another pet crate, a fellow Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

Gail, laying down, curled up, resigned to her fate as a prisoner of the Biskit Twins.

##################################

At the moment, Blythe was alone, barely managing to avoid Monban. Unless she could get outside to Russell, Sunil, and Penny Ling, she was going to get herself caught, and then what? Would she be thrown into the day camp too? Did Whittany and Brittany have a special place in there for people? Would the police be called because she was violating her ban? Would she be double-banned? COULD someone even be double-banned?

All of these thoughts went through Blythe's head as she sidled around the corner of a shelf, just as Monban went around the corner of another shelf, down another aisle. She turned to leave –

Only to run right into the twins!

"Well, Brittany, guess who just got themselves double-banned," Whittany said snidely.

"Um, Blythe?" Brittany asked.

Whittany found it difficult to stave off the urge to smack her twin sister upside the head. "Monban!"

Monban wheeled up to them and once again grabbed Blythe by the back of her shirt. He wheeled her out the front, dropping her hard on the sidewalk. "Thank you for visiting the Largest Ever Pet Shop. Please visit again once your double-ban has been double-lifted."

He wheeled his way back to the twins and indicated his power level. "Increased security has depleted Monban's energy. Main battery power at one half of a percent. Must recharge immediately or shut down." At that moment, all the lights on his control panel flickered off; his arms and wheel retracted into his body.

Monban's battery was completely dead.

Whittany let out a frustrated sigh. "This guy is so boring. Why does he have to be all, like, battery powered and stuff?"

"Yeah," Brittany agreed. "He needs to seriously go, like, green or whatever that's called."

Whittany reached into Monban's back panel and pulled out the long plug. "He's already green, Brit. He's electric."

"Then maybe he should go a different color," Brittany suggested. "I'm thinking, like, yellow or something."

###############################

Penny Ling opened one of the roof panels and looked down on the shop floor below. With the robot currently out of commission for a while, saving the other pets was going to be easy. The twins had already shown that they didn't take their duties seriously.

She'd brought an extra-long ribbon with her. She tied one end around her, the other end around a nearby pipe, and leaped through the opening. As she fell, her ribbon tangled around her, abruptly stopping her fall. The rest of the ribbon snapped, causing Penny Ling to fall into a pile of pet baskets. She quickly righted herself, leaping away from her unintentional landing pad, saw that she had landed right next to Monban, who was still plugged in, his battery quickly refilling.

She ran down the nearest aisle she could, her ribbon trailing behind her.

She felt something pull her back, making her slam against one of the shelves, the force of her impact knocking the supplies off and sending them careening to the floor. Slowly, she climbed back to her paws, shook her head, and kept running, straining to drag everything the ribbon was tied to with her.

#########################################

The twins watched from the security room as the little panda ran through the shop, dragging all those supplies behind her.

"Why isn't Monban doing anything about this?" Brittany asked.

This time, Whittany actually did smack Brittany on the head. It was only a light tap, though; she would never really hit her sister that hard. "Duh. Because he's still plugged in." She removed the power cord from the wall outlet, instantly turning Monban on. Now that he was fully charged, he could get back to guarding the store, like he was supposed to.

####################################

Somehow, Penny Ling had managed to drag herself to the door of the shop's day camp. She wasn't along; along the way, her ribbon had gotten caught up on bags of kibble, pet carriers, a fish bowl, squeaky toys, and a few beds. By the time she got to the day camp, she was exhausted, having literally dragged herself along thanks to all the excess weight she was carrying around.

She'd barely made it through the door, was just about to set Zoe free, when she felt something stop her. It wasn't the ribbon; it had gotten caught up on a lot of things, but she'd just dragged them along. She looked over her shoulder, saw the robot – now fully powered – holding onto the ribbon, stopping her.

"No pets allowed outside designated area."

Penny Ling didn't bother fighting it. What was the point?

##################################

Blythe watched through the window as Penny Ling got dropped into a pet crate. She turned to the only two pets left – Sunil and Russell.

"What do we do?" Sunil panicked. "What do we do, what do we do, WHAT DO WE DO! Everyone's been captured! We're the only ones left!"

"Guys, I think I've finally figured out a plan that could work," Russell said. "Okay. Here's Plan….I don't remember anymore, let's just call it Plan Whatever. So for Plan Whatever, we need Sunil and Penny Ling to come in through the – "

"Penny Ling can't join him on this one, Russell," Blythe announced. "She's been caught by Monban."

"Wonderful," Russell grumbled. He chattered in frustration. "I knew I should have gone with Plan Q. Why don't I just listen to the voices in my head?"

"Wait a minute," Blythe said. She quickly procured her pink headset. "Russell, we can use this!"

"I don't get it," Sunil said.

"Russell said he should have listened to the voices in his head," Blythe explained. "You know who else has voices in his head? Monban. He's got Whittany's and Brittany's voices in his head thanks to his voice recognition system. So, Russell, it's my turn to make up the plan. Listen closely, boys. We can rescue everyone – Gail, Vinnie, Zoe, Pepper, Minka, Penny Ling, and still be home in time for your owners to pick you up. But everything's riding on you, Sunil."

"Oh, of course," Sunil gulped.

"You need to sneak in there and hypnotize the Biskits, just like in Plan A," Blythe explained.

"I thought the original plan didn't have a letter," Russell mused.

"Not important," Blythe said. "Continuing." She handed Sunil the headset. "With Whittany and Brittany incapacitated, you'll slip this over Monban's auditory sensors."

"His what?" Sunil asked.

"Robot ears," Blythe translated. "Once the headphones are in place, I'll make Monban think he's listening to Whittany and Brittany with this walkie-talkie." She held up a matching walkie-talkie. "That'll convince Monban to free the pets. Any questions?"

"Well, it's got a beginning, middle, and an end," Russell said. "But does it have to be so simple?"

Blythe just glared at him. "Better than your plans that were about as up and down and all around as a roller coaster at Six Flags."

"I guess you've got a point."

"Forget it," Sunil said as he tossed the headset to the sidewalk. "I am not doing this. You can forget it. No way am I risking my pelt like that."

"Sunil…." Blythe began.

"You have no idea how much of a coward I can be!" Sunil cried as he wrung his tail.

"The sad thing is, he's not exactly wrong about that," Russell said.

"Why don't you do it, Blythe?" Sunil asked.

"Sunil, if I step through those doors, I'll set off Monban's security sensors," Blythe answered. "The Biskits would probably have me arrested that time. And if Russell goes in, he'll just roll up into a ball."

"It's a hedgehog thing."

"I know this is a lot to ask of you, Sunil. But your friends need your help. You're the only one who can do this. You have to help them, Sunil. You're their only hope." She held the headset out to Sunil.

Sunil thought about it for a moment. He weighed his options, the pros and the cons. There was a very good chance he would end up captured by the robot, and then, there would be no one left to save Gail and the other pets. Their owners would arrive at Littlest Pet Shop to find no pets there, and they would be left wondering where everyone had run off to. But if he succeeded, everyone would get to go home. They would be there when their owners arrive. They would get to hang out with Gail, get to know her, and they would have a fun time.

He reached out and took the headset in his paws. "Oh, fine."

"Go get 'em, Mr. Mongoose," Blythe cheered him on.

 _I think I should start working on ANOTHER contingency plan in case he gets caught,_ Russell thought.

########################################

Sunil was already an incredibly nervous mongoose, but this….This was nothing like how nervous he normally was. He could feel his little heart pounding in his chest, felt his stomach tightening and knotting as he stepped up to those tall, cold glass doors. He could feel the coldness of the store coming through them, radiating off of the building and penetrating his being. He was fine when he was with his friends, but now that they were depending on him, now that all of this weight had been dumped onto his furry little shoulders….

 _Once I go through those doors, I'm no longer safe. I'll be in a nightmare, and I don't know if I'll ever come out again._

He shook his head. "No! Don't think like that, Sunil! You're doing this for your friends! For! Your! Friends!" A leaf landed on his face, startling him.

Blythe's voice came through the headphones he wore over his ears. "It's okay, Sunil. I'm right here if you need me."

"I don't care," Sunil said. "I'm not going in there."

There was a brief moment of silence before Blythe's voice came through the headphones again.

"Sunil, you need to listen to me, and you need to listen to me very closely. Inside Largest Ever Pet Shop, making their way to your friends, is a large group of cobras."

Cobras. The one thing Sunil – no, the one thing all mongooses – despised above all else. Those long, slithery bodies, those forked tongues, those giant hoods, those fangs that dripped with enough poison to kill thirty humans in one bite, their sneakiness, their arrogance, the way they moved with no legs or paws….

He stood up straight. He knew Blythe was playing him, knew she was just trying to make him think there were cobras in there.

And it was working.

"I. Hate. Cobras."

He stormed through the doors. He no longer felt cold. He felt a fire burning inside of him, the flaming rage he felt whenever someone even so much as mentioned the word "cobra". His eyes saw leashes, but his mind saw cobras. His eyes saw squeaky toys, but his mind saw cobras. His eyes saw collars, but his mind saw baby cobras. Cobras, cobras, cobras everywhere! Hissing, slithering, their forked tongues flickering in and out of their mouths in that creepy way they do.

Sunil's mongoose instincts took over. He lunged, tackling several cobras to the floor and tying them up into knots. He started flinging dog biscuits everywhere, smacking cobras in the head and knocking them out. He added them to the pile. More cobras were felled by throwing them through the shelves.

To the customers, though, all they saw was a crazed mongoose attacking random store items.

He stood atop the pile of cobras, declaring his victory over the evil serpents.

And then he saw them, walking near one of the cash registers.

The Biskit Twins.

He leaped over to them, catching his attention as he waved his front legs in front of him.

"What are you doing out of your crate, you little weasel?" Whittany asked.

His movements got to them; they stared straight ahead in a daze, completely unaware of the world around them.

 _Excellent,_ Sunil thought as he mentally patted himself on the back. _I beat up the cobras, I stop the evil twins. All I have to do now is free my friends._ He looked around. _Where's that robot?_

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert! No pets allowed outside designated area!"

Sunil ripped the headset off his head and threw it at the approaching robot. It fit nicely over his head. He looked out the window, saw Blythe looking in. She began speaking into her walkie-talkie.

Sunil climbed up the robot's body to listen to what Blythe was telling him.

"Monban, can't you do anything right?" she asked, doing a near spot-on imitation of the twins. "You should totally go release the pets. Like, right now."

The robot began wheeling himself towards the day camp. "Prime directive: Obey Biskit voice command. Release pets from day camp."

The robot rolled his way into the day camp, pressed a red button on the wall, opening up all of the pet crates.

It was a stampede of pets running for the exit – dogs, cats, mice, a turtle, Pepper, Vinnie, Minka, Penny Ling, Zoe, a dog Sunil guessed was Zoe's sister; Sunil was so happy to see them free, so glad that he was the one who had freed them.

"Go! Run free, my friends! Liberty is yours!" He walked over to the twins and gave their faces a light slap. "Wake up." He quickly grabbed the headset off of Monban and followed the crowd of pets outside before the twins knew what was happening.

"What just, like, happened?" Brittany asked.

"I was just about to ask the same thing," a stern voice said from behind them.

The girls turned around; saw their father standing there, holding an orange tabby in his arms. He was glaring at them, a look they knew all too well – a disapproving look, a look that said that they were in deep trouble.

############################################

They all piled into Blythe's scooter, hopping into the side car and the basket, and she sped off, leaving Largest Ever Pet Shop behind.

They made it back to Littlest Pet Shop with more than enough time to spare; the pets' owners would be here to pick them up in four hours, more than enough time for them to relax and get to know Gail.

Blythe was surprised that Gail hadn't spoken up during the entire trip. Maybe she was just nervous to talk to a human? No, that couldn't have been it, could it? Zoe never gave the impression that Gail was shy or nervous. In fact, if anything, Blythe had figured that Gail was just like Zoe – proud, a star of many dog shows, and a little melodramatic.

The pets waited until they came to a stop at the curb outside the shop before congratulating Sunil.

"Sunil, you're the greatest!" Vinnie cried, giving his mongoose friend a big hug.

"It was nothing," Sunil said modestly. "I knew you needed me, and I couldn't ignore the –" A leaf landed on his snout. "LEAF!"

Zoe helped her sister out of the side car. "I'm so glad to see you, Gail."

"Who's Gail?" the dog asked in a male voice.

Zoe just stared at the dog for a moment, confused. This dog looked just like Gail, but was a male dog instead of a female! "Who the woof are you?" she asked.

"Name's Tootsie. Pleased to meet you, I guess."

"Oh." She turned to the other pets. "I think I made a bit of an oopsie here." The pets all groaned in frustration and annoyance. "This is certainly awkward," she said with a laugh. "Though I suppose it couldn't be helped. All Cavalier King Charles Spaniels look alike to me."

"Hey, if it's not too much to ask, can someone give me a ride home?" Tootsie asked.

Blythe picked him up and started walking to the door. "Come on, Tootsie. We'll give your owner a call."

"Um, why are you talking to me?" Tootsie asked.

"Long story. Blame the dumbwaiter."

######################################

After Blythe made the call, she led the pets into the day camp.

"Zoe! It's about time you got here."

Sitting on the big armchair was another dog, this one looking just like Tootsie, but with a different collar.

"I've been waiting for you all day, dear sister."

"Gail!" Zoe ran up to the other dog, and the two started licking each other. "You would not believe the day I had."

"Let me guess," Gail said. "This would make how many times you've mistaken another dog for me? Seven or eight?" She laughed. "Zoe, Zoe, Zoe, what are we going to do with you?"

"I'll tell you what," Zoe replied. "We're going to party! Someone turn on the radio!"


	4. Penny For Your Laughs

PENNY FOR YOUR LAUGHS

ANNA WAS REARRANGING THE SHELVES WHEN BLYTHE WALKED THROUGH the door, carrying a cardboard box in her arms.

"Good morning Mrs. Twombly," she said.

"Hello, Blythe," Anna said. "What's in the box?"

"Something for Pepper," Blythe replied. "Her owner left it to me earlier to give to her later."

That sounded rather odd to Anna. Why would Mr. Clark leave something meant for Pepper in Blythe's hands instead of just sending it into the day camp along with the little skunk? It didn't make much sense, but she figured it was better off not questioning it.

Blythe made her way to the day camp, relieved that Mrs. Twombly believed her lie. She wasn't going to tell her that Pepper herself had asked Blythe to order this package for her. How would that go over with her? She'd look like an idiot. Even worse, Mrs. Twombly would start to get suspicious. If she knew that Blythe was ordering things for the pets without her consent or permission….

It would be fine. Mrs. Twombly didn't question much about what Blythe did with the pets, just as long as the pets were taken good care of. Which they were; Blythe loved these seven pets as though they were her own, and even though they were animals, they had become some of her closest friends, even moreso than her actual human friends.

She opened the door, stopping the pets as they were playing.

"Got a new package for you, Pepper," she announced as she set the box on the floor in the middle of the room.

"Well it's about time this thing showed up," Pepper said as she pushed the box away from Blythe. She ripped the box open, tearing the cardboard apart with her claws.

"This box smells weird," Penny Ling observed.

Pepper pulled a pair of red clown shoes out of the packing peanuts. A thick green substance was leaking out of them. "It's may latest comedy prop – pistachio pudding shoes!" She chuckled. "You think they smell funny now, Penny Ling, wait until I wear them in a little bit." She slipped the shoes on and began trudging around, while the other pets began tearing into the box, ripping apart the cardboard, chewing on the packing peanuts, playing in what was left of the box. Pepper waved at them, trying to catch their attention. "You guys! Pistachio pudding shoes! Isn't it hilarious? Come on, give me a little chuckle or something."

"Well, I guess it's a little funny," Sunil said.

"A LITTLE?" Pepper repeated. "You guys should be laughing packing peanuts out of your noses! What gives?"

"I'm going to be honest with you, Pepper," Sunil continued. "The pudding thing's kind of gotten a little old."

"You guys, it's pudding," Pepper protested. "Pudding! It's like number two on the list of funny things, right behind mashed potatoes! Everyone knows this! It never gets old. Remember the flower with the pudding filling, how I would spray you all with it? You laughed like hyenas!"

"We've never had a hyena in Day Camp before," Minka said.

"The whoopee cushion," Pepper continued. "The whoopee cushion filled with pudding. You laughed your fur off! Well, except for Vinnie; geckos don't have fur."

"I could," Vinnie said.

"The tuba!" Pepper cried. "The tuba, you guys! Everyone loves the tuba of pudding!"

"We weren't laughing," Zoe said. "We stopped laughing after the flower gag. Face it, Pepper, Sunil's right. The pudding thing's kind of run its course."

"Well…." Pepper thought about it for a moment. She did only remember the other pets laughing that one time, when she sprayed them with the flower. Any time after that, the laughs were either faked or they just didn't laugh at all. "I suppose it is getting a little old."

"Understatement of the day," Russell whispered to Penny Ling. They all wrinkled their noses as Pepper, in her sadness, released a foul stench.

She went to go lay in the corner. It was clear how upset she was; pudding was one of her favorite comedy routines. To even consider something different – to someone like Pepper, it was nearly impossible.

"It's okay, Pepper," Penny Ling assured her with a gentle pat on the back. "You can be funny without pudding."

"You just need a new shtick," Blythe suggested.

"I've got plenty of sticks," Pepper said. She pulled a pair of sticks out of her prop box. "But they're all filled with pudding." Green pistachio pudding leaked out of the tips of the twigs.

"No, no, no," Blythe said. She pulled a mop out of the closet and began cleaning up Pepper's mess. "Shtick. A routine. A new form of comedy."

Vinnie climbed to the top of the mop's handle. "Like funny dances." He leaped off of the mop and did a quick dance step, only to slip in some of the pudding and slam his head into the wall. "Ouch. Need to work on that a little bit."

"Don't move!" Minka yelled. She grabbed Vinnie by the tail and threw him against a nearby canvas. He fell off the paper and plopped to the floor, leaving an outline of his face and body on the paper. "I call it 'Essence of Vinnie'."

"I call it a gecko who needs to be wiped down," Blythe said as she ran a wet cloth over Vinnie's head. She turned back to Pepper. "Maybe you should try another style of comedy. Try something without props. Standup, you know. Those redneck guys, that guy with the dummies – sometimes – just stand up there, tell jokes and funny stories, and who knows." She finished mopping up the floor. "Anyway, I've got to get to school. I'll see you guys this afternoon." She wheeled the mop bucket back into the closet and headed out the door, into the main shop, and out into the city.

"Bye, Blythe! See you later!" the pets called after her.

All except for Pepper, who was thinking about what Blythe had said.

 _A new shtick, huh? But what could that new routine be?_ She glanced out onto the shop floor, saw a pug walking around, his flat face practically glued to the floor. She poked her head out of the pet door to get a better look.

The dog was leaving a trail of slobber behind him as he walked, drool oozing out of his mouth. It was disgusting, the slobber he was leaving behind practically drenching the floor, leaving puddles in his wake.

"You know," she said, "asking me to try a new routine is like asking that pug to keep the slobber IN his mouth." She heard the other pets laughing at what she had said.

Even the pug couldn't help but chuckle. "Never heard that one before," he said.

"Could be because you breathe as loud as Niagara Falls!" Pepper retorted. Again, the other pets laughed.

Everyone except for Penny Ling, who didn't think what Pepper had said was that funny. In fact, it sounded hurtful. Hurtful and mean. Didn't she know how rude her comments were, even if they were just simple jokes? Was she intentionally trying to hurt that poor dog's feelings?

"That is actually kind of funny," Zoe said.

"It's funny because it's true," Vinnie put in.

 _They're laughing at that?_ Pepper thought. _Hey, I think I just found my new shtick!_ She looked over to Mrs. Twombly, who was whistling while she dusted one of the shelves off with a feather duster.

"Wow. Mrs. Twombly's whistling is so bad that even the birds have to cover their ears." She listened while the other pets laughed. The mailman came through the door. He pulled a small bouquet of roses out of his bag and handed it to Mrs. Twombly. "Hey, I've seen that guy before. Though I had to pay admission to the zoo!" Again, the other pets laughed. Even Sunil's usually annoying high-pitched laugh wasn't as unbearable as it usually was. "That reminds me – Sunil! Calling your laugh annoying? That'd be an insult to annoying people!"

She relished as the other pets laughed, even Sunil, who seemed to be unaware that he had just been made the butt of the joke.

"Call me crazy," Zoe said, "but I think I'm going to love your new shtick."

"You're crazy," Pepper said bluntly, causing the other pets to crack up.

Again, except for Penny Ling. Didn't anyone else see how rude the skunk was being? They were all rolling over themselves with laughter, not seeming to care that Sunil and Zoe had just been insulted. Was this really the future of Pepper's comedy routine? Insulting pets and people?

She turned to Russell, the closest pet to her. "Russell, don't you think Pepper's being a little mean?"

"She wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings on purpose," Russell assured her. "Look – everyone's laughing and having a great time."

 _Well, I'm not laughing,_ Penny Ling thought.

################################

"Okay, class! Ready for the tip-off!"

Coach threw the basketball into the air. Joann caught the ball and dribbled to one end of the court, past the Biskit twins, who were just standing on the sidelines, not participating, almost as though gym class was beneath them. Given their personalities, that wouldn't have come off as much of a surprise.

"I so hate gym class," Brittany said.

"Especially this dumb game, whatever it's called," Whittany agreed.

"Yeah. Like, who invented this? Oh no." She put her hands up, blocking her face as the ball came bouncing over to her. Both girls flailed their arms as the ball bounced in front of them, afraid to so much as touch it.

Coach blew her whistle. "Biskits! That's double – uh, quadruple dribbling!"

Blythe was watching from across the court, joined by Youngmee and Sue. "Well, can't say they didn't dress for the occasion."

The twins ran across the court with the ball, only to trip over it, falling over each other.

The ball was picked up by the tallest girl in class, Vi Tannabruzzo. "Sorry, Biskits, but clowns shouldn't be playing basketball," she taunted. She threw the ball at a basket, the ball slipping through the hoop, through the net, making a perfect shot.

"That was just a lucky shot, Vi," Whittany shot.

"No, lucky is you two not tripping over each other while trying to even walk," Vi taunted. "Seriously, can you two do anything right on two feet? It's like watching a pair of newborn deer trying to walk for the first time."

"Well, well…." Brittany said. "Your hair is, is…."

"Puffy!" Whittany finished.

"Better than your basketball skills," Vi shot back.

"Wow," Sue said as she and her friends watched from the other side of the court. "Vi's being pretty mean. She's actually humbling the Biskits. I didn't think that was possible."

"I can't take this anymore," Blythe said. She started walking towards the three girls. "Hey, Vi. Look, I know it's the Biskits, but you don't have to be so mean to them, so knock it off. Why don't you pick on someone your own size." She looked around; Vi dwarfed everyone in the room by at least a good twelve inches or more. "If anyone like that even exists outside of the NBA."

"Eh," was all Vi said before tossing the ball through the hoop and walking away.

"Blythe, we were powerless against Vi," Brittany said. "We had to use all of our energy for, like, that running thing."

"Well, Vi was being kind of a jerk," Blythe admitted. _Even if she was being a jerk to the two of you,_ she silently added.

"Yeah, but you defended us," Whittany said. "So now, like, you're one of us."

"Wait, what?"

"We're totally willing to forgive you for being so rude to us before," Whittany said.

"Excuse me?" Blythe asked. Blythe, rude to the Biskits? No, it had to be the other way around. It was the Biskits who were rude to Blythe, insulting her in front of her father, in front of her friends, trying to humiliate her during the fashion show that saved Littlest Pet Shop from going out of business, having their robot throwing her out of Largest Ever Pet Shop with a total ban of four weeks – not that Blythe would ever want to go back in there if she didn't have a good reason. Who were the Biskits trying to fool?

"You're our new BFF!" the twins announced.

"Wait, WHAT? No!" The twins practically dragged her across the floor, out of the gymnasium. As they went, she turned to Sue and Youngmee, who were just watching in disbelief. "Help," she whispered.

###################################

The pets had gathered around for Pepper's new standup routine. Insult comedy was proving to be a big hit, better than Pepper would have guessed. Who needed pistachio pudding when you could just make snide comments about someone? It was all in good fun, of course – Pepper would never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings; she was just having fun with it, and letting the other pets have fun too.

The only pet not here was Penny Ling. Why not? What could be more important right now than Pepper's new shtick?

"Hey, guys, if you stand real close to Zoe's head, you can hear the ocean! Hey Minka. You got that far away look – the farther away you get, the better you look! Russell, Russell, my main hedgehog, I heard you had a good idea once. Too bad the poor thing died of loneliness."

Penny Ling came over to the crowd as they were laughing. She gently pulled on Minka's tail, getting the monkey's attention.

"Minka, aren't you upset that Pepper just insulted you? I mean, you really don't mind at all?"

"She was just making a joke, Penny Ling," Minka assured her. "You're taking all this a little too seriously, don't you think?"

Penny Ling backed away. She didn't think she was taking Pepper's "jokes" too seriously. She was the only one who saw what Pepper was doing, the only one who wasn't laughing, who wasn't finding it the least bit funny. She wasn't even chuckling.

Pepper was trying a new routine, and Penny Ling could respect that.

What she couldn't respect was how her jokes were at everyone else's expense.

##################################

"Five grain, seven grain, whole grain, no grain, and what do I do? I leave the sprouted grain at home," Youngmee complained as she looked at the food on her tray. She pushed the tray aside. "How can I eat my sandwich with only four of the five mustards I need?"

Sue reached into her purse and pulled out a can of cheese. She squirted some cheese on a cracker and handed it to Youngmee. "Here. This usually makes me happy."

"Thanks." She turned to Blythe, who was just sitting down.

"Lunch is served," she said as she prepared to bite into her hamburger.

"There you are!" Jasper cried. He was under the table, looking for something. Something he had apparently found, as he sat up straight, something small and white held between his thumb and index finger.

"And what, exactly, were you looking for?" Sue asked.

"My final project for rice painting class this term," Jasper said. "I painted the Taj Mahal on this grain of rice. Impressive, yes?"

"Overachieve much, Jasper?" Youngmee asked.

Sue elbowed Blythe. "The whole school's talking about it. You know, how you're best friends with…them."

"It's not true, is it?" Youngmee asked.

"Of course it's not," Blythe answered. "They just took my standing up for them in gym class a little too seriously. They're overreacting, that's all. Knowing those two, they've completely forgotten it and have gone back to hating me for no reason at all."

Just then, an older man dressed in a black tuxedo came to their table, carrying a large tray. On the tray was a folded piece of paper, like some sort of an invitation.

"Message for one miss Blythe Baxter from Misses Whittany and Brittany Biskit."

Blythe picked the paper up off of the tray and read what was written on it. " 'You are cordially…ORDERED…to join Whittany and Brittany for, like, lunch. BFFs only, please RSVP'. Look at this. It's engraved in…is that real gold?"

"Répondez s'il vous plait," the man said as he walked away.

"Okay, listen," Blythe said to her friends. "I get that it's…you know, them…"

"Right," Youngmee said.

"And they're pretty awful."

"Bit of an understatement," Jasper said.

"But…."

"There's always a but, isn't there?" Sue asked. "What is it?"

"They're trying pretty hard to be at least a little nice to someone," Blythe said. "So maybe they deserve a second chance? You know, just to humor them a little bit?"

"Yeah, I vote no," Sue said. She crossed her arms, a scowl on her face. "But, you know, do what you want. Who's going to stop you?"

Blythe looked down at the invitation, looked back to her friends – Jasper was examining his grain of rice, Youngmee was quietly eating her lunch, and Sue had turned away from her. She looked around, making sure no one was looking, before slowly getting up and making her way to the twins' own private table.

She'd been offered a chance to sit here before, on her first day. She had declined then because of how snooty the twins had been to her. But this time, they were at least trying to be nice. They might have had their memories of who the mean one was mixed up, but it was the thought that counted, right?

"You sure took your sweet time," Whittany said.

"I can only be here for a minute or two," Blythe said. She was about to say something else, but the twins spoke up first.

"Garcon!" Blythe felt a chair slide under her, forcing her to sit down, and the man from earlier, the man who had delivered the invitation, pushed her up to the table. "That's fancy for, like, waiters and stuff," Brittany said.

"Um…." She watched as another waiter, a younger waiter, rolled out a table cloth, complete with plates, silverware, glasses, and candles. "Thank you…?"

The older man returned, this time carrying a bottle of lemonade like it were a Champaign bottle. "Lemonade, mademoiselles?"

"Yes please." He popped the cork and poured the yellow liquid into two glasses. The twins swished it around, gave it a quick sniff, before drinking it all in one gulp. The butler refilled their glasses, then filled Blythe's. "To our new BFF." The twins raised their glasses in a toast.

"May she not totally botch this up," Brittany said as the twins drank.

Blythe tried to emulate the twins, only to end up spilling her lemonade onto the table. "Oops. Sorry."

The butler returned again, this time wheeling a cart with him. On the cart was a bowl of salad, which he began to stir and toss. He procured two incredibly sharp Ginsu knives from the table, slicing the vegetables while they were still in the air. They landed neatly on a plate, which he place in front of Blythe. "Viola."

"Okay, that was pretty cool," Blythe said before realizing what was coming out of her mouth. She clasped her hands over her mouth and turned over her shoulder, looking back at her friends, all by themselves at their usual table.

While she was turned away, the butler began cutting up raw fish for sushi, like he were working in a hibachi restaurant, working the knives faster than Blythe could follow. Within a few seconds, faster than Blythe could even see, he had fixed the fish, vegetables, and fruit into a structure resembling a Japanese pagoda. Blythe couldn't help but join the twins in applause.

He placed a bowl of fruit next to her. "For the mademoiselle, a twenty-one berry flambé." He pulled a blow torch from under the cart and set the berries ablaze, somehow not setting off the school's sprinkler system.

"I didn't even know there were twenty-one kinds of berries," Blythe said, amazed. "Heck, I can barely name four or five. Youngmee is going to flip her lid when she hears about this." She turned around. "Youngmee, look!"

Her friends were gone.

####################################

No one really knew how Russell was able to play games on that smartphone without fingers or opposable thumbs. Maybe Minka had taught him. But that didn't matter right now; he was off by himself, as were all the other pets, napping or playing with their toys, or in Minka's case, splattering paint on the canvas.

"Russell, hey Russell," Pepper said. "I've got a question for you."

"Not right now, Pepper," Russell told her. "A few more experience points, and I'll level up."

"Yeah, yeah, sure, hey – is it true you're afraid of marshmallows?"

"Yeah," Russell said. "Can't stand them. Not sure why."

"Maybe because they remind you of your pudgy belly!" Pepper said, poking Russell's tummy. She laughed as she ran off, leaving Russell alone, contemplating what she had just said.

"Hey!" he cried when the other pets started laughing at him. "Are you saying I'm fat?"

"No, no, nononono," Pepper replied. "Though I do think your food bowl should come with a life guard!" The other pets started laughing at her joke – except for Russell and Penny Ling.

Pepper put a foreleg around Zoe. "I'll never forget the first day we met, Zoe," she said kindly. Then, snidely, she added: "But I'm going to keep trying!"

Zoe laughed for a second, before realizing what Pepper had just said. "That's not very nice."

"Lighten up."

"Lighten up? Really?"

"Yeah," Pepper said. "It's a joke. It's funny!" She climbed the tree to talk to Vinnie, who was hanging upside down from the play tube. "Hey Vinnie, your brain must feel good as new, since you NEVER USE IT!"

"Hey!" Vinnie protested, but he lost his grip and fell to the floor before he could continue.

Pepper hurried over to Sunil, who was playing in a small box. "Sunil! You're so boring, sheep count you to fall asleep!" Over to Minka, who had just peeled a banana. "Minka! I'd like to help you out. You know where the exit is? Hey, Penny Ling!" She looked around, but there was no sign of the panda. "Anyone seen Penny Ling?"

"Pepper!" Zoe hissed. "You know how sensitive Penny Ling is. You tell one of your 'jokes', and she'll either flood the room with her tears or explode in a fit of rage; who knows how she'll react!"

Pepper waved a dismissive paw. "You're exaggerating. Besides, Zoe, aren't you the one who said this new shtick is hilarious?"

"It was, for a little bit," Russell said. "Before your jokes started getting a little too mean."

"They're not mean," Pepper protested. "They're funny. I haven't even shown you my best ones. I'll prove it to you." She started hopping around the room. "Penny Ling! Come out come out wherever you are!" She spotted Penny Ling hiding in the fire hydrant in the corner. "Hey, Penny Ling! Get out here, have a laugh! Trust me, it'll be so funny you'll cry!"

Slowly, Penny Ling came out of the hydrant. "Um….Okay."

Pepper could tell she was nervous, but she wanted to do this. She wanted Penny Ling to hear a joke. She was the only one who hadn't had any joke made about her, mostly because Pepper hadn't seen her. And now that she had found her….

Penny Ling came down the slide, stopping just in front of Pepper.

"Okay, here it goes."

"Take it easy, Pepper," Russell reminded her. "Remember. She's really sensitive."

"Cool your quills, Russell, I'm a professional. I know what I'm doing," Pepper assured him. "Here, watch." She turned back to Penny Ling, who was looking at Pepper and wringing her front paws together in nervousness. "Hey, Penny Ling, my panda pal. You have a soft heart."

"Oh, um….Thank you, Pepper," Penny Ling said.

"And a head to match!" Pepper shouted. She laughed. "That was a good one, right?" She turned to the other pets. "Right?"

The other pets were just glaring at her.

Penny Ling whimpered. She couldn't believe what Pepper, her best friend, had just said to her! How could she be so mean? How could she be so rude, so insensitive?

"Pepper! That wasn't very nice!" Russell scolded.

"Don't be silly," Pepper said. "I've got one or two more. Listen to this one." She turned back to Penny Ling. "Penny, just remember, talent isn't everything. Actually, in your case, IT'S NOTHING!" She started cracking up at her own joke.

Penny Ling felt so hurt. Why was Pepper saying such mean things?

"Pepper!" Russell screamed. "You've gone way too far this time!"

Pepper was about to say something, but before she could even open her mouth, Penny Ling started sobbing – bawling.

 _Uh oh._

The other pets rushed over to Penny Ling, pushing their way past Pepper, Sunil even walking over her to get to their panda friend. They all gathered around Penny Ling, hugging her, patting her, trying to calm her down.

Everyone except for Pepper, who had just now realized what everyone was trying to tell her. Her insult comedy may have been funny for a few jokes, but after a while, her fellow pets began to take her jokes personally, began to feel insulted, humiliated, and worst of all, angry – angry at the jokes, angry at the jibes.

Most of all, angry at Pepper.

And now, she was beginning to feel angry at herself.

She had ignored the warnings, ignored the pleas to stop, ignored Russell and Zoe telling her to stay away from Penny Ling with these jokes, told her how sensitive she was. Pepper had paid no attention to them, and now, she had just seriously hurt her best friend. How could she? How could she have been so blind to what the other pets were trying to tell her? How could she have turned into such a monster?

Pepper had just done something deplorable, and she had no way of knowing if she could reverse it.

########################################

Blythe put her books in her locker and slammed it closed. Youngmee and Sue were on the other side, waiting to speak to her.

"What's the big deal about having a lunch?" she asked.

"It wasn't just any lunch," Sue said. "It was a five course lunch that lasted nearly an hour and a half."

"Okay, so it was a big lunch with the Biskit twins," Blythe said. "So what? I only did it to be nice." Sue and Youngmee just glared at her; clearly, they didn't believe her. "But it's definitely over. No more being the Biskits' BFF. No more lunches, no more nothing. Au revoir, Francois – that's the butler's name. Guys, you're my real friends. I don't need those two kissing up to me just because of one moment this morning in gym class."

A package dropped into her hands, a package delivered by two small bluebirds. The birds flew away, allowing Blythe to open the box. Inside was a tablet. A video was ready to play.

Blythe was apprehensive, but curious. She pressed the button to play the video.

It was a video message from the Biskits.

"Hi BFF," Brittany said.

"Hope you, like, like this little message," Whittany said. "Meet us at the mall after school."

"Oh wow," Blythe breathed. "This is so cool. Uh…." She turned to Sue and Youngmee, who had just started walking away.

#########################################

Blythe did as the twins had asked and met them at the mall after school. They'd told her that they were going to help Blythe look like them, talk like them, act like them.

Normally, Blythe would have protested, but considering how hard they were trying to be at least a little nice to her, she figured she should do this. Figured it was the best thing to do.

Though the twins didn't have to cling to her as they walked from store to store, sticking to her like lost puppies.

 _BRITTANY AND WHITTANY: Be our friend, our friend forever_

 _Our best friend for ever and ever_

 _Be our friend, our friend forever_

 _Our best friend for ever and ever_

 _For you see, if you be_

 _Our friend forever, it would be_

 _Too cool to be for real_

 _So if you are our friend, you see_

 _BRITTANY: And I will be_

 _WHITTANY: And you know I'll be too_

 _BLYTHE: And I'll make three_

 _I'll be your best friend too!_

 _BRITTANY AND WHITTANY: Be our friend, our friend forever_

 _Our best friend for ever and ever_

 _Be our friend, our friend forever_

 _Our best friend for ever and ever_

 _O-M-G, we could be_

 _Best friends forever, it would be_

 _Too cool to be for real_

 _So friends forever we shall be_

 _WHITTANY: And I will be_

 _BRITTANY: And you know I'll be too_

 _BLYTHE: And I'll make three_

 _BLYTHE, WHITTANY, AND BRITTANY: We'll all be best friends too_

 _Wait a minute,_ Blythe thought as they made their way from one store to another. _Is this really me doing all of this?_

 _####################################_

Penny Ling hadn't come out of the fire hydrant for what felt like hours. She had sat alone, sobbing quietly after what Pepper had said. The other pets had already scolded Pepper numerous times for not listening to them and not knowing when she was going too far with her insults, even if they were merely meant to be harmless jokes – even the most harmless joke could seriously wound someone on the inside.

Zoe walked over to the hydrant, hoping to console Penny Ling. "You know, Penny Ling, Pepper was just trying to be funny. She didn't intentionally mean to hurt anyone's feelings."

"I didn't think she was very funny," Penny Ling sobbed.

"This reminds me of something I once heard," Sunil said. "Crying is easy. Comedy is hard. And that stench is doing a number on my nose."

That scent was coming from Pepper, who was sitting alone in the corner, sulking, upset and angry at herself for what she had done, what she had become, all because she wanted to find a new shtick.

"You know, Pepper, you don't have to be over there by yourself," Russell said.

"Honestly," Sunil said, "I prefer her over there. The stench isn't as bad."

"How could I have been so blind?" Pepper mused. "How could I have done something like that? I made Penny Ling cry. She's never going to forgive me. I'm not sure if I can even forgive myself."

"To tell you the truth, you're kind of making our eyes water a little bit too," Vinnie said.

"We understand what you were trying to do with your new shtick," Minka assured her. "You just wanted to make everyone laugh."

"Wait a minute, that's it!" Pepper cried as she leaped to her paws. "I got it! I can make Penny Ling feel better!" She hurried over to her comedy box, hoping to find something to help her create another new shtick.

#####################################

Blythe and the twins were in the cosmetology section, sampling various makeups and perfumes. She's had a surprisingly fun time with the two, despite their history together – they'd given her a lot of nice things, a lot of new clothes, these new makeups and perfumes. She was starting to wonder why they were even at odds with each other all the time.

She turned to the twins after applying some new lipstick. "Well, girls, what do you, like, think?"

"It needs to be shinier," Whittany said after studying Blythe for a few seconds.

"And if you're going to use eyeliner, make sure it, like, matches," Brittany added.

Whittany picked up a brush and dabbed it into some powder. "Here, let me help you." She brushed some of the makeup over Blythe's eyes. "Look now."

Blythe turned back to the mirror. Her eyes were now surrounded with dark purple makeup, the same shade as her lipstick. "Check it out. I match."

"Maybe," Brittany said. "But you've still got a long way to go before you can ever be as glamourous as us. It's not something you can just learn."

"We were born with it," Whittany added. "But don't worry; we'll guide you."

Brittany applied some more eyeliner. She spotted someone nearby, someone not quite as glamourous as them. Her hair was messy, and there wasn't even a drop of makeup on her face.

"Look at her, Whit," she said. "There isn't enough makeup in the whole mall to help a girl like her."

"Oh, yeah, you're right," Whittany said as she joined her sister. "Well, it wouldn't be so bad if she didn't have one glaring flaw – her hideous face!"

Blythe joined the girls in laughing at this person. "Sounds like she has the face of a flower – a cauliflower, that is!"

"You need to work on your insults, too," Whittany said.

Blythe leaned out from behind the mirror to see just who they were talking about. Her heart sank, and she felt anger rising inside of her.

She had unintentionally joined the Biskit twins in making fun of Sue.

She turned back into the mirror, studying herself as hard as she could. Ever since what happened this morning, she had started turning into the one thing she hated the most – a stuck up spoiled brat who made fun of everyone without seeing her own flaws.

She had slowly been turning into one of the Biskits, and insulting Sue – that was the last straw. She wasn't going to let this go on; she wasn't going to let the twins twist her anymore, not if it meant alienating her true best friends, not if it meant abandoning them for who many considered to be her rivals.

 _What is happening to me?_

 _###################################_

Pepper had tried everything she could to lift Penny Ling's spirits. She tried the usual knock-knock jokes, she tried the old slipping on a banana peel gag, she dropped something heavy on her head, she told funny stories based on her owner's antics.

Nothing she did would make Penny Ling so much as lift her head off of her pillow.

She did a silly little dance; she juggled Russell, Vinnie, and Sunil; she even tried tickling Penny Ling – of all the pets in Day Camp, Penny Ling was easily the most ticklish.

Still, nothing.

Pepper felt so distraught, so upset, so angry at herself. Why didn't she stop when she had been told to? Why didn't she listen to Russell? She felt so terrible, felt like she had accidentally ended her friendship with Penny Ling.

A friendship ruined, all because Pepper did the wrong thing to try to make the other pets laugh.

#####################################

Blythe didn't want Sue to see her, not like this, not in this outfit, with this makeup, hanging out with the twins. How could she? She couldn't bring herself to leave her hiding place beneath the table, not even when the twins showed up.

"You know, Blythe, I couldn't help but notice that that girl looks like one of your old yucky friends," Brittany said.

"We can, like, totally understand you hiding," Whittany said.

"Yucky friend?" Blythe repeated as she stood up. "I'll have you know that Sue is an amazing friend! One of the best! The kind of friend you two will never have or ever be!"

"Whoa, Blythe, can you, like, calm down?" Whittany snapped.

"What is your problem?" Brittany asked. "Do you have any idea how many people out there would love to be our BFF?"

"I pity them, then," Blythe said.

"You weren't complaining earlier when we were giving you stuff," Whittany growled.

"Well, there's the problem," Blythe hissed. "I like the stuff more than the two of you."

"What did you, like, just say?" Whittany snapped.

Blythe stepped up to her, pressing her face against the other girl's. "Let me, like, put this in a language your tiny Biskit brain will understand, Whittany – the stuff is nice; you two are not."

"Then you can say goodbye to all your stuff," Brittany growled. "Francois!"

The butler ran into the room, scooped up the shopping bags near Blythe, and hurried back out the door. The twins followed him a second later.

 _Whatever,_ Blythe thought.

"Blythe?" Sue called as she ran over to her. "Wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Hi Sue."

"Blythe, you look terrible. What happened to you?"

"The Biskits, sadly. Sue, listen. I didn't mean to make you feel unwanted. I'm sorry if you think I tried to trade your friendship for the Biskits'. I got so caught up in trying to be nice to them that I forgot who my true friends were. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I can," Sue said. "Just do me one favor."

"What's that?"

"Clean that stuff off your face. You look ridiculous. By extension, lose the outfit. You look, well, stupid. An outfit like that belongs in the trash."

They both shared a good laugh as they walked out of the store.

#######################################

Blythe was surprised to see all the pets so downtrodden. Something had happened here, something to cause the normally playful and talkative pets to be so quiet, so melancholy. But what? What could have happened? Did someone get sick?

"Someone mind telling me what I missed?" she asked.

"Pepper tried a new shtick," Russell explained. "It didn't go over so well."

"And it led to the end of a once beautiful friendship," Pepper said as she lay on the floor near the tree, a foul stench coming off of her.

"You want to talk about it?" Blythe asked. "Tell me what happened? Maybe I can help."

"Like Russell said, I tried a new shtick," Pepper explained. "Insult comedy."

"Seriously? That's not exactly what I had in mind when I brought it up this morning."

"Yeah, well, I got too carried away, and I hurt Penny Ling's feelings. I've done this before by accident, but this time, it was so much worse than the last time. I don't think she'll ever want to be my friend again after what I've done."

"I think I know what you mean," Blythe said. "I did something like that today with Sue, but it's okay now. It got rough for a moment, though."

"But how'd things turn out okay with Sue?" Pepper asked.

"I just apologized, and that was the end of it. Problem solved."

"I don't think it's going to be that easy for me and Penny Ling."

"Or it could be the one thing she's waiting for," Blythe suggested. "It's worth a shot."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She waddled over to Penny Ling, who was still lying on her pillow, face buried in the fabric. She raised her head when Pepper got close, but never lifted her body. "Hi, Penny Ling. Listen, I – I didn't mean to hurt you like that. You know I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I was thinking about myself and my jokes and not anyone else's feelings, and I took things way too far. Penny Ling, I'm really sorry. Can we still be friends?"

Penny Ling slowly stood up. She walked over to Pepper, staring at her, unblinking.

She pulled Pepper in for a tight hug.

"Apology accepted," Penny Ling said.

"I'm just glad we can still be friends," Pepper said.

Penny Ling stepped back. "Wait right here; I've got something for you." She hurried back to the fire hydrant, came back with a pistachio pudding pie.

"For me?" Pepper asked.

"Yeah, but, there's something funny about this pie," Penny Ling said. "Do you think it smells funny, Pepper?"

"I don't' know," Pepper said. "Let's find out." She sniffed the pie, allowing Penny Ling to push it into Pepper's face, covering her fur and eyes and snout with pudding.

The two friends shared a good laugh, glad to have put everything behind them.


	5. Mean Isn't Your Color

MEAN ISN'T YOUR COLOR

BLYTHE WAS GLAD TO BE GIVEN A SECOND SHOT AT GROOMING. THIS TIME SHE made sure she paid attention to what she was doing, and constantly referenced the notes she had taken while shadowing Raoul. And besides, she wasn't on any sort of time crunch this time, nor was she trying to make the pets look exquisite; it was just a normal grooming – brushing the fur, filing the claws, cleaning their teeth, braiding Minka's hair. She even ran a lint roller over Zoe's beret, removing the old dog hair from it.

Grooming someone like Russell was a bit of a challenge, as she had to navigate his quills, pulling off the ones that were about to fall off and trying not to get any stuck in her skin. And then there was Pepper, who didn't care for this sort of thing – her owner, Mr. Clark, only gave her a bath from time to time, and that was all Pepper thought she needed. Though she didn't mind the brush being run through her tail right now.

"Guess what I've got," Mrs. Twombly said as she walked through the door, carrying several shopping bags in her arms.

Blythe set the brush down and followed the older woman into her office. "A bag full of doorknobs from True Value?" she guessed.

Mrs. Twombly dumped the contents of one of the bags out on her desk. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," Blythe said flatly as she glanced around at the framed doorknobs on the walls, the buckets and vases full of doorknobs, and the few random doorknobs strewn about. There was even a painting of doorknobs on the wall, just above her desk.

Sometimes, Blythe thought Mrs. Twombly's love of doorknobs was a borderline obsession.

"You won't believe what else I've got," Mrs. Twombly said as she started rummaging through another bag.

"If I were a betting hedgehog, I'd say more doorknobs," Russell said. Blythe couldn't help but giggle. Chances were good that he was right.

It wasn't a doorknob. Rather, it was one of the ugliest, most garish, most disgusting and repulsive dresses Blythe had ever seen. It was long, probably going down past the knees. The main dress was this light violet color, which Blythe figured was okay, but what wasn't okay was the sick combination of orange and various shades of green feathered trim around the collar, arms, chest, and skirt. It looked like someone had made the dress and then vomited their lunch all over it. Just looking at it was making Blythe want to throw up; it was hideous, and yet here Mrs. Twombly was, holding it by the clothes hangar, flaunting it around like it was the fanciest thing she'd ever seen

The woman clearly had no taste or fashion sense.

"My eyes! They burn!" Zoe yelped.

Mrs. Twombly reached into the bag and pulled out a peach colored hat. "This came with it."

Again, Blythe fought to stave off the urge to vomit, and again, she heard Zoe yelp: "OH MY EYES!"

"That's not everything," Mrs. Twombly said as she reached into her purse.

"It just keeps getting worse," Zoe whimpered.

Mrs. Twombly pulled eight tickets out of her purse. "Tickets to the annual People Pampering Pets Charity Ball. For me and all my friends – four legged, two legged, furred and otherwise."

"Okay, that's actually pretty cool," Blythe said. "The pets are going to flip when I tell them about it."

Mrs. Twombly chuckled. "They'll be excited if you give them a ball." She walked over to the far wall and grabbed one of the framed doorknobs. "Well, time for my power nap. I'll see you in an hour." She pulled on the doorknob, bringing down a wall-bed, complete with a blanket and a pillow, and she lay down on the mattress.

It wasn't uncommon for Mrs. Twombly to get in a quick power nap during the day. They lasted anywhere from ten minutes to two hours, depending on her mood.

Blythe slowly walked out of the room, quietly shutting the curtain behind her, and turned to the pets. "Did you guys hear that?"

"We're going to the ball!" the pets cheered.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Blythe, this is like a dream come true," Penny Ling said. "I've always wanted to go to the Pet Charity Ball. I've always dreamed of there being a red carpet for us to walk down. There's going to be a red carpet, isn't there, Blythe? Please say there is."

"Better make sure it's stain resistant and easy to clean," Minka added.

"We're going to walk it, right?" Penny Ling asked.

"You guys can walk it all you want," Minka said as she swung from the overhead lamps. "I'll swing above it."

"Not only will you be walking the red carpet," Blythe said, "but you'll also be wearing some amazing new outfits designed by yours truly." The pets all cheered again.

Penny Ling could see it now, the image playing across her mind like a mini movie. She saw the red carpet leading up to the Pet Charity Ball, hundreds if not thousands of people lining it, snapping pictures, taking videos. She saw them pulling up to the event in a long limousine, saw them being let out by the doorman. They would all be wearing Blythe's incredibly amazing outfits. They would pose for photographs, take pictures with their adoring fans, sign autographs.

And Penny Ling would be the star of the show, the belle of the ball.

"I could get used to that," Penny Ling said, not even realizing that she had said it. She had been so caught up in her fantasy that she hadn't even noticed that they were back in the day camp.

"I'll be topside if you need me," Blythe said as she climbed into the dumbwaiter. "I have to design the most spectacular outfits of my career." She slid the panel closed, and they heard the box being pulled up to the top of the building.

"You just wait until they see the panda," Penny Ling announced.

################################

Blythe had spent the last forty-five minutes looking at pictures of the pets, trying to come up with the best outfits for them. One idea she'd come up with was a fire hydrant costume for Zoe – a hat in the shape of the fire hydrant, with a long, billowing red cape.

"They're going to go absolutely gaga over this outfit," she said. "Once they stop gagging at Mrs. Twombly's dress, of course."

Youngmee had joined her; she was sitting on Blythe's bed, watching her work. She was impressed with just how talented Blythe was at this sort of thing. Of course, going by what Blythe had said, she'd had a lot of practice, doing this since she was about nine years old, after her mother passed away. It had become a hobby, a hobby that Blythe was hoping would become something great.

"Now I need to think of something for Penny Ling," Blythe said as she sat back down at her desk. "She's so cute and sweet. She's going to need something extra special. It'll be the most adorable outfit a panda has ever worn."

There was a knock at the door. "Come in!"

Roger opened the door; for the first time in nearly a month, he was home for more than a day or two at a time. His next flight wasn't scheduled until the end of the month, and it was good to have him home for once.

He instantly greeted Youngmee as soon as he poked his head into the room. "Hi."

"Hi, Mr. Baxter."

"Roger will do."

"Sorry. Not my style."

"If you say so, Miss Song."

"Don't bother, Dad," Blythe said. "Reverse psychology doesn't work on her. Neither does regular psychology sometimes. Believe me, I've tried."

"So has Aunt Chrissie. I still don't know why she brought up that chicken during our last talk."

 _Just going to ignore that one,_ Blythe thought as she got back to drawing.

"Anyway," Roger said, quickly changing the subject. "Mrs. Twombly invited me to the People Pampering Pets Charity Ball. I was wondering if you could help me fix my old suit. It's a little out of date and could use a quick update, if it's not too much to ask."

"Of course."

"You're the best, Blythe. I'll be right back; I have to go dig it out of the closet." He hurried down the hall to his bedroom, coming back a minute later with one of the tackiest outfits Blythe had ever seen. It wasn't as repulsive as Mrs. Twombly's dress, but it was certainly ugly. She didn't mind the brown pants and jacket – though they could do without the sewn in patches – but the mint green undershirt just hurt her eyes. "Here's the old relic."

"How old is that thing?!" Blythe screamed.

"No offense, Mr. Baxter, but if that's your good suit, I don't want to know what your bad suit is," Youngmee said. She winced, putting her hands up to cover her face.

Roger handed the suit to Blythe. She held it as delicately as she could, as though she were holding a disgusting insect. "This looks like Grandpa Joey's old suit."

"Add on a great or two to that," Youngmee said. "That thing looks like something Fred Flintstone would have worn."

"Hey, it was the style back in my time," Roger said. "Blythe, just try to work your magic. Please?"

"Sure Dad, I'll give it a shot."

"That's all I'm asking." He turned to leave, stopping when he reached the door. "I'm taking a special date with me, so I want to look extra good." With that, he closed the door.

A special date? Who? Who was it? No one Blythe knew. She hadn't seen her father in weeks, and now, he suddenly had a surprise girlfriend that Blythe didn't know about? When did he have time to do that?

"I don't believe what I just heard."

"Since when does your dad have a special date?" Youngmee asked.

"That's the thing – I have no idea. He – he has a date for the ball! With a female person! With a woman! A lady I've never met and he's never told me anything about! And he wants me to fix his suit so he'll look extra good?" She threw the suit onto her desk. "What would Mom say? I get it, it's been seven years and he probably thinks it's time to find someone else, but still, he could have brought this up to me first, don't you think!" By now, Blythe was screaming. She was angry, confused.

Youngmee reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. "Okay, let's run down the list again."

"There's only one item on the list – my dad going out on a date!" Blythe hollered.

"Blythe, have you heard of the seven stages of coping with parental dating?"

"I've heard of the stages of grief. You don't have to remind me of those."

"No, I don't, but I think this is something you need to hear. It might help you." Blythe turned back to her desk, picked up her pencil, and started drawing. "Listen. There's seven stages, and you'll go through them in sequential order. Believe me, I know. I went through the same thing with my cousin's neighbor's dog walker's brother's son twice removed last year. This list really helped. There's distress and denial; I didn't mean to; fury and promises; so lonely I could cry; making adjustments; coming to grips; and finally, totally okay with it."

"That sounds like a lot of stages that I'm not going to go through," Blythe said. "Because I don't have a problem with it. Who said I do?"

 _No one has to,_ Youngmee thought. _I can hear it in your voice._

"Stage One is distress, right? Distress and denial? Why would I be distressed? What would I have to deny? Maybe Dad didn't mean he had a date, as in a date date, a romantic date. Maybe….Maybe I heard it wrong. Maybe he said he doesn't want to be late for something."

"Funny," Youngmee said. "Sounds like you're distressing over it. And denying it."

"I'm not distressed, and I'm not in denial!" Blythe snapped. Youngmee just stared at her, a smug look on her face. Blythe sat down on her chair and sighed heavily. "Maybe you're right."

She looked back at her desk, at her sketch pad, saw that she had drawn out a suit design for her dad while Youngmee was talking earlier.

She had no idea that she had drawn over the design for Penny Ling's outfit.

#####################################

Penny Ling was on cloud nine. She couldn't wait to see the beautiful, adorable dress Blythe had designed for her. She couldn't wait to be amazed once again by her human friend's remarkable talent.

She stood in front of a mirror on the shop floor, studying herself. Okay, she was a little bit on the pudgy side, but she always attributed that to her still being a cub. Any outfit Blythe made for her would hide that fact – not that she was very self-conscious about it to begin with.

"What color is it going to be?" she wondered. She held up a pink pet bed. "Pink? No, that's more Minka and Zoe." She held up a bag of pet food. "Rose? Wait, no!" She picked up a cat box and held it up to her leaving her head uncovered. "Fuchsia! That's it!" She turned to Minka and Zoe as they joined her. "What do you girls think?"

"The litter box!" Minka quickly said. "The litter box so screams panda."

"Are you sure about that?" Zoe asked. "I'd go with the dog bed, personally. It really speaks to me."

"Litter box."

"Dog bed."

Pepper sauntered over to them. "You guys do realize that you're arguing about whether a panda's going to look good in a dog bed or a litter box, right?"

"It's the litter box!" Minka screeched.

"Maybe you should let someone with a sense of style and fashion settle this discussion," Zoe said as she stepped forward.

"You mean Blythe?" Pepper suggested.

"That works too," Zoe said. "I was talking about me, though. But I guess we can go with Blythe."

#############################

Blythe struggled to run the brush through her hair. There were more knots than usual. The more she pulled, the more it hurt.

She couldn't stop thinking about Roger and his date. She couldn't stop wondering just who it was and why he had never brought it up to her before. Sure, he was away a lot – being a pilot meant that he had to be gone for long periods of time, from a few days to even a few weeks – but they always talked on Skype and satellite phone; she would have thought he'd have mentioned a woman by now. But no, he just HAD to spring this on her suddenly, didn't he? He just had to suddenly mention it like he was talking about how much gas he put in his car.

It infuriated her, made her feel more angry than she'd ever felt before. Not even the Biskit Twins made her this angry.

"What'd your hair do to you?" Youngmee asked; the two were talking over their phones via Skype's video chat.

"It's not my hair, it's my bed," Blythe answered as she pulled the brush through her dark brown hair. "I was awake in it all night. I couldn't stop thinking about Dad and his 'date'. You know, maybe if I'd shown even a little bit of interest in the things he liked, this might not have happened. I mean, it wouldn't kill me to watch _Lawnmower Wars_ every once in a while, would it? No, I don't think so."

"Actually, I've seen that show once, and you're not missing a whole lot," Youngmee said.

Blythe continued, ignoring her friend. "I wasn't trying to ignore him. It's just that he's away so much that I can't help it."

"Oh boy, here we go," Youngmee said.

"What are you talking about?" Blythe asked.

"Sounds like you've just entered the 'I Didn't Mean To' stage."

"BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"

"One step at a time, Blythe. One step at a time. I'll see you at school." With that, she hung up.

Maybe Youngmee was right about this whole seven stages of parental dating thing. Or maybe Blythe just hadn't been paying much attention to Roger while he was home. Maybe if she'd sat down and watched an episode of that dumb show with him this might not have happened.

She was distracted by Zoe, Minka, and Penny Ling coming up in the dumbwaiter.

"Hi Blythe!" they called.

"We were just wondering if we could see your designs for our outfits," Penny Ling said.

Blythe handed them her sketchpad. "Sure, but only for a few seconds. I need to get going." She turned and started stuffing her textbooks into her book bag.

Penny Ling held the sketch pad in her little paws, flipping through its pages, stopping to examine every design they came across. They had to laugh at the design Blythe had made up for Russell – basically just a bunch of plastic balls covering his quills – but when they got to Zoe's design, Zoe let out an excited yelp.

"I love that one," she said. "I'm all dog and more."

Penny Ling flipped the page again, showing Vinnie's design. He looked like a pirate, with the vest and the headband; the stars drawn around it, they figured, were meant to be a glittering glow. Fitting for Vinnie, easily the most flamboyant of all the pets. That was what they liked about him.

Pepper's design was a simple jacket with several differently colored pockets. Minka's was a dress, but it was the head accessory that caught her attention – a hat with several different kinds of fruit attached to it.

"Do I get to wear that or eat it?" Minka asked. "Because I just might eat it if I'm hungry enough."

The next page was the design for Sunil's outfit, a superhero outfit – a green sweater with a dynamic black cape. It oddly fit somehow – Sunil was the most timid and cowardly of all the pets; maybe this would help boost his confidence?

The last page was the design for Penny Ling's outfit.

A brown trenchcoat.

"Oh my gosh!"

Blythe snatched the sketch pad from Penny Ling's paws. "I'm running late. Go back to Day Camp. I'll see you when I get home." With that, she hurried out the door.

"Well, I don't know about you two, but I am just over the moon about my outfit," Zoe said. "Our Blythe has once again worked her magic, right Minka?"

"Yup yup yup! I can't wait to eat – sorry, I mean, WEAR my outfit," Minka replied. "How about you, Penny Ling?"

Penny Ling was leaning against the side of the box, a sad look on her little panda face. "Overjoyed," she said flatly.

"Those designs are truly fabulous," Zoe praised.

"For SOME pets they are," Penny Ling growled suddenly.

Zoe and Minka shared a confused look, not sure where this sudden change in Penny Ling's mood had come from.

#################################

"A date!" Blythe screamed. "Can you believe it?"

She had joined Sue, Jasper, and Youngmee for lunch in the cafeteria. She'd spent the better part of the day telling Sue and Jasper about what Roger had said to her last night, about how he was going out with a woman that Blythe had never even met or heard about before. Sue and Jasper had tried to say something, but Blythe wouldn't let them; she had just kept ranting on and on, venting her frustrations.

"I can believe it," Jasper said. "He's a guy, after all."

"Okay, fine, I get it, my dad has a date because he's a single father and that's what some single fathers do," Blythe hissed. "But why?"

"You just said it yourself, Blythe," Sue said. "He's single. It's just you and him and given that you're his daughter…."

"That doesn't tell me who this mystery woman is," Blythe growled. "Why wouldn't he tell me before? Was she a secret this whole time?"

"Well, he probably thought you couldn't handle it," Jasper guessed. _Seeing the way you're acting now, I don't blame him,_ he silently added.

"If only I were a better daughter. Then he wouldn't need to go on a date. So if I'm the problem, then I'm just going to have to fix it. I'll be a better daughter." She stood up, her right hand raised. "From this day forward, I, Blythe Betty Baxter, promise to be the best daughter in the entire world." Her cell phone beeped. She pulled it out of her pocket and read the message, a message from Youngmee. " 'Welcome to Stage Three: Fury and Promises'." She shot an angry glare at Youngmee, who just shrugged her shoulders.

"Just in case you were wondering."

Blythe could feel the anger in her rising. She wasn't just angry at her father anymore; her friends were starting to anger her. Especially Youngmee, with this whole Seven Stages of Parental Dating business she kept going on and on about. She felt like she was ready to explode in rage, her fury building to the point where she was going to snap at any moment.

Sue and Jasper quickly stood up from the table, seeing where this was going. "I just remembered, I have to go…Study Hall! Yeah, I have to go to Study Hall!"

"And I promised to join her," Jasper said. The two of them hurried out of the room as fast as they could.

"And I agreed to provide the notebooks," Youngmee fibbed as she stood up. "Bye." She ran out of the room, following Sue and Jasper. She came back a second later to whisper in Blythe's ear: "By the way, this is Stage Four: So Lonely I Could Cry." She ran off.

Blythe looked around. She was indeed the only one left in the room, and she felt like she was going to start crying at any minute.

##################################

The pets were ecstatic. Zoe and Minka had told them all about the outfits Blythe had drawn up for them, and they just couldn't wait to see them with their own eyes. The only one not sharing their enthusiasm was Penny Ling, who had gone off to sit under the tree by herself.

"We're all going to look positively exquisite," Zoe said.

"Yeah, exquisite," Penny Ling grumbled.

Sunil joined the two of them. "Is it bad to look too good? Is that even possible?"

Penny Ling growled; she was starting to get tired of this. All the other pets, excited for what Blythe had done for them, and the more they celebrated, the angrier it made Penny Ling. Just knowing that Blythe had drawn her in that, that THING….Penny Ling was not a very angry panda, but this was one of the few times in her entire life where she was about to lose it.

And lose it she did. She turned to Sunil and screamed in his face, causing him to shrink back. "Why are you asking ME?! It's not like _I_ have to worry about looking too good! Or kind of good! Or even just OKAY!" She let out an angry roar and stormed over to the big armchair in the opposite corner –

Stepping on Vinnie's tail in the process.

"Ouch! Try not to damage the lizard, please!" He rubbed his tail, trying to dull the pain. "And an apology would be nice." He turned to the other pets. "She always apologizes. What's the deal?"

Penny Ling let out another angry scream from behind the chair.

"Don't worry about it, Penny Ling, it happens sometimes," Minka called over to her. "Heck, just the other day, I accidentally dropped a bucket of paint on his tail. Thought it was going to fall off. We all shared a good laugh afterwards. But the point is, I did apologize to him first."

"She's right," Vinnie agreed.

"And do you know why? Because it's the right thing to do!"

"SHUT UP!" Penny Ling screamed. "ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!"

"Okay, something is seriously wrong with that panda," Russell observed. "She's never angry. At least, not this angry."

"Yeah. We should find out what's driving her up the walls," Pepper said. She ran over to the chair, ignoring Sunil's warnings not to. "Uh….Maybe not right now!" She ran back to the pets, hiding behind them, as Penny Ling ripped the arm chair in half. Metal, fiber, filling – everything!

They all ran for cover, hiding behind whatever they could. They all knew to stay away from Penny Ling when she got like this.

An angry Penny Ling was a scary Penny Ling.

###################################

Blythe got to work on Roger's suit as soon as she got home. She didn't bother visiting Mrs. Twombly or the pets; she had too much to do right now. It was a good thing Mrs. Twombly had allowed her to have the next few days off; she'd pick up some extra hours during the next two or three weekends.

There was a knock on the door as she ran some fabric under the sewing machine's needle.

The door opened; Roger poked his head into the room.

"Hey, hon. I heard you weren't supposed to approach a hard-working daughter without a treat, so…." He opened the door a little further, handing her a glass of milk and a chocolate chip cookie. "Here you go."

"Thanks, Dad," Blythe said as she took the milk and cookie. "Come in. Sit down. Tell me about your upcoming date. I'd love to hear about her." She wasn't sure if she believed herself or not, but better to try to be nice to her father than to be a jerk about the whole thing.

"Not much to say, really," Roger replied. "I'm just looking forward to hitting the town with my favorite girl."

"Your…favorite?" she repeated. "But….But…."

Roger put a hand on her shoulder. "It's what Mom would have wanted. I'm sure Betty would have understood. And besides, we're going to have a great time. I'll let you get back to work." He shut the door behind him when he left.

Blythe wasn't so sure if her mother would have been accepting of all of this as Roger was making it out to be. Sure, he was single now – had been for the past seven years – but did that really mean having to practically forget about Betty? She could understand him wanting to meet new people, but still found it hard to understand him wanting to meet another woman.

 _A great time,_ she thought. She dipped her cookie into the milk and ate it in one bite, washing it down with the milk, which she swallowed in one gulp before screaming: "MOM WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND!"

Her computer beeped. Someone was calling her on Skype. She rolled her chair over to her computer stand and accepted the call.

"Hi Youngmee. Hey, quick question." She held up the bundle of fabric she had been making for Roger's suit. "Do you know what's missing from my dad's suit?"

"I'm going to guess your dad."

Blythe rolled her eyes and walked over to Pepper's outfit – she'd premade the pets' outfits – and pulled the spray flower out of the breast pocket.

"No, a flower. The kind that squirts water into your date's face. Let's see how gorgeous she looks when doused in ten ounces of water!" She squeezed the pump, spraying herself with water, the cold liquid matting her hair to her forehead and dripping down the back of her shirt.

Youngmee couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry, Blythe. But you have to admit, squirting yourself during your rant? That's pretty funny."

Blythe relaxed and joined Youngmee in laughing at her own misfortune. "I have no idea what I'm doing," she mused. "My dad has a date. Why am I letting that get to me so much? It's been seven years. If anyone deserves to find someone, it's him."

"Well, Blythe, welcome to Stage Five," Youngmee said. "Adjusting to the situation. I think you're making progress."

#####################################

Penny Ling had distanced herself from the other pets after her outburst earlier. She didn't mean to take her anger out on them; it had just been building up so much that she finally snapped. She felt horrible; she figured this must have been how Pepper felt after insulting Penny Ling during her new comedy routine the other day. She didn't want to be around the other pets, not right now, not until she had forgiven herself.

But first, she had to build up the confidence to even think about telling Blythe she didn't like the outfit that had been designed for her.

The other pets had already quickly forgiven her, even though they still didn't know why she had exploded. Pepper had invited her to listen to some of her jokes – "So, a duck walks into a store and says, 'I'd like to buy this lipstick', and the clerk says, 'How do you want to pay for that?', and the duck says, 'Just put it on my BILL'!" – but she could only force out a fake laugh. She'd watched Vinnie try out a new dance, which for some reason involved him wearing lederhosen. Zoe's songs, usually Penny Ling's favorite thing about the dog, did nothing to raise her spirits, and like with Pepper, she could only pretend to be invested and like what she was hearing; she was just too depressed. Nothing could make her feel better.

But that was then, and this was now, and Penny Ling still had to think of what she was going to say to Blythe.

 _Um, Blythe? You're the best, and I love you, but….Well…._

"I hate the outfit you designed for me!" she blurted out. She quickly covered her mouth, hoping no one had heard her. She shook her head. "This is something I have to do." She crawled out of her hiding place and made her way to the dumbwaiter.

###################################

Blythe had just finished putting on the finishing touches of Roger's suit when Youngmee called for seemingly the hundredth time that day. Bu the strange thing was, Blythe wasn't feeling angry or frustrated or sad, not any more. Now she was feelin…happy.

She answered the phone and put it on speaker. "Hi."

"So, can we usher in Stage Six now?" Youngmee asked.

Blythe laughed. "No. I'm just imagining what it's going to be like with my dad out dating whenever he's not on a flight."

"Oh yeah, that's definitely Stage Six," Youngmee said. "You're coming to grip with it all. Hey, we should celebrate."

"What, over the phone?"

"No, silly. Over ice cream. Hope you've got some, because I'm already at your door." Just then, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Blythe cried as she ran out of the room.

##################################

Penny Ling opened the panel in the wall when the dumbwaiter came to a stop. She looked around; there wasn't anyone in the room, even though she was sure she'd just heard Blythe and her friend Youngmee.

"Blythe? Youngmee?" She dropped down from the wall, and the first thing that caught her eye was the tall, brown suit standing in the middle of the room. She walked around the suit, taking in every angle, silently gagging at the very sight of it. "Blythe's measurements weren't even close. I'm not this tall. Well, maybe it'll look better after I get into it."

She forced her way into the pant leg, climbing up into the shirt, poking her head through the collar. She looked down at the body; her little paws couldn't even reach the arms, let alone fill in the entire outfit! The only creature she figured it would look even remotely good on was probably a grizzly bear.

She caught a glimpse of herself in the nearby mirror. The outfit just wasn't here; it didn't fit, figuratively and literally. It wasn't going to work, not at all.

She climbed down the shirt and into one of the arms, only to get herself stuck. She wiggled, trying to free herself, trying to get unstuck –

 _RRRRIIIIPPPP!_

Penny Ling fell to the floor and looked up at the suit. The arm was torn and shredded, just barely hanging on by a small cluster of threads.

"I broke the man suit! Everyone's going to think I did this on purpose!" She ran for the dumbwaiter, climbing into the box, and quickly closed the wall panel.

She heard the door open a second later, heard Blythe let out a terrified gasp.

"What the huh?"

"Looks like someone regressed back to Stage Three," she heard Youngmee say.

"Youngmee, I swear, I didn't do this!" Blythe protested.

Penny Ling had spent the better part of the day feeling angry at Blythe, but now, she couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor girl. Blythe had worked so hard on that suit, even though it was much too large and too ugly for Penny Ling, and even though it was an accident, Penny Ling had ruined it. She'd ruined all her friend's hard work! She had wanted to talk to Blythe about the suit in the first place, but now that she'd ripped the sleeve – if Blythe found out, Penny Ling wasn't sure if they would ever continue to be friends.

She quickly lowered herself back down to the pet shop and opened the wall panel; the other pets were quick to greet her.

"What's going on here?"

"Penny Ling, we need to talk," Zoe said.

"Well, maybe I'm not in the mood for talking," Penny Ling growled as she pushed her way past the other pets.

"No, but you're in the mood to growl and snap at all of us for no good reason," Sunil said.

"And that's exactly why we need to talk to you," Pepper said as she blocked Penny Ling's path.

"Why have you been in such a bad mood lately?" Zoe asked. "You're never like this. Not even when Pepper did that thing. You know the one."

"Did you have to remind us?" Pepper snarked.

"I've come up with a small list of what the problem might be," Russell said, procuring a small clipboard with a piece of paper attached to it. "Do you have fleas?"

"Let me check!" Minka cried excitedly. "Let me check! Please please please pleasepleasepleasePLEASE!" She hopped down onto Penny Ling's head and started poking through her fur. Penny Ling threw her off; she landed right on top of Vinnie. "That'd be a no."

"Do the pillows on your bed need to be fluffed?" Russel asked, once again reading off of the list.

"We've all been there at least once," Zoe said.

"Was it something we said?" Russell asked. "More specifically, was it something Zoe said?" Zoe growled and barked at him.

"No!" Penny Ling yelled, brandishing her claws. "No, no, no! Just leave me be! All of you, just leave me alone!"

The pets all just stared at Penny Ling, who started crying. She didn't want her friends to leave her alone; she wanted to tell them what was wrong, but she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to tell them, just like she couldn't bring herself to tell Blythe.

"Yeah, I'm not exactly the sharpest light bulb in the crayon box," Vinnie said, "but I don't think she really wants us to go away."

"I don't," Penny Ling sobbed. "I want you to help me tell Blythe I don't like the outfit she's designed for me."

The pets all stared at her. For a moment, Penny Ling wasn't sure what they were going to say or do.

Not until Zoe spoke up.

"That's it?" she asked. "And here I thought it was something important. I tell people all the time that I don't like the things they say or do."

"I'm not like you though, Zoe," Penny Ling bawled. "I can't do that. I can't say mean things to people." She gasped. "Oh. I just did, didn't I? Zoe, it feels horrible, and if I tell Blythe that I don't like my outfit, we'll both feel horrible. I don't want to make Blythe feel bad."

"Don't worry, Penny Ling. We'll talk to her for you," Russell offered.

"Really? Thank you, Russell." She pulled the hedgehog in for a hug, only to get a quill stuck in her cheek.

####################################

She had no idea how Roger's suit had been ruined, but she had to fix it. She didn't want him thinking she'd destroyed it, just like Youngmee had been thinking she had. Whatever had happened, Blythe was sure it was an accident, and she could fix it in no time. Just a few extra stitches, and it would look like the sleeve hadn't even been ripped.

But fixing it had proven to be a little more difficult than she'd expected. Especially with Youngmee constantly calling to check up on her and with her father once again knocking at the door.

"Just checking to see if you needed anything," he said as he poked his head through the door.

"I'm good, Dad. Just fixing up a few small things before finishing up."

"Well, don't let me interrupt you any longer." He closed the door.

Blythe breathed a sigh of relief. It was amazing he hadn't seen the sleeve on the table, under the needle of the sewing machine.

Even more amazing was just how…accepting…she was of her father going out on a date. A date with a great, possibly beautiful woman who loved kids as much as he did.

Her phone beeped – a message from Youngmee. "Stage Seven: Totally Okay With It. Yeah, I guess I am. But how does she know what I'm thinking? Is she psychic or something? She gives me the willies sometimes." Her phone beeped again – another message. "No I don't."

 _Kind of proving my point,_ she thought as she turned her phone off.

The wall panel opened, and the pets – minus Penny Ling – hopped out of the dumbwaiter.

"Hey you guys. Ready to see your outfits?" she asked. The pets all chattered and yipped in anticipation as Blythe pulled a rack of clothes out from behind a shade. Tiny clothes, suited to fit a pet.

"Good thing we're not having a competition, because I would win Best In Show right now," Zoe bragged.

The pets grabbed their outfits and ran behind the shade to put them on. Blythe waited for several minutes, listening to them yip and yap and bark and chatter with happiness, smelling the sweet scent of roses coming from Pepper.

"Come on, guys, it's just a quick trial run. You don't need to spend so much time admiring yourselves or whatever it is you're doing back there," Blythe said. "Come out and let's see how they look."

Minka was the first pet to step out from behind the shade. Her outfit consisted of a blue, orange, and yellow skirt with matching top, and a hat made up of wax apples, oranges, grapes, pears, and peaches. "This outfit – it makes me hungry!"

"Don't eat it, Minka," Blythe advised. "It's wax. It'll make you sick."

"Okie dokie."

Russell was next, with just some plastic balls covering his quills. "I guess this is an appropriate outfit for a ball."

Next came Zoe, wearing a fire hydrant hat. Her dress was red, with gold and white bone patterns and a gold jeweled collar around her neck. "This outfit just screams – YES! I'm a dog!"

Sunil came out after her, wearing a bright green sweater with a black and purple cape. "This sweater isn't polyester, is it?" he asked. "It feels a tad itchy."

Vinnie slid past him, wearing dark glittery pants, a glittery white jacket, and a black headband. "The fun has arrived! Thank you very much!"

Pepper was the last one, wearing a purple jacket with several different colored pockets, each pocket holding a different comedy prop. "There's a chicken in my pocket!" she laughed as she pulled a rubber chicken out of one of the pockets. "Cluck cluck."

"You all look great," Blythe said. "But I can't help but feel that someone's missing. Has anyone seen Penny Ling?"

"Yeah, um, about that," Russell started. "See….The thing is…."

"She doesn't like the outfit you made for her, so she's not coming," Zoe quickly blurted out. "There, I said it. Someone had to."

"But why didn't she come say that to me herself?" Blythe asked.

"She'd rather hide than face you directly," Zoe replied.

Blythe reached onto the rack and pulled off a bright pink dress. "But – but I made this just for her. I thought she'd love it."

The pets all stared in awe at the bright pink dress. It was one of the most beautiful things they'd ever seen.

"Penny Ling would be a pretty pretty panda in that pretty pretty pink dress," Minka said.

"Dude, I would totally wear that," Vinnie added, eliciting an awkward glare from everyone. "What?"

Zoe held up a paw. "Wait a minute. Blythe, do you mean that you really didn't want Penny Ling to wear an oversized man suit?"

"Man suit? I made that for my dad."

And then she saw the picture she'd drawn the other day.

Penny Ling, dressed in an oversized man suit.

It was the same drawing she'd made when Roger had asked her to fix his suit for him. She hadn't even realized that she'd drawn over Penny Ling's outfit design! How could she have missed it? How could she have not noticed? It was staring her right in the face! Was her distress over Roger having a date causing her to not pay attention? Was that it?

"Does anyone know where I can find Penny Ling?"

##############################

Blythe found Penny Ling on the roof of the building, sitting in a big folding lawn chair. She hurried over to the little panda. The poor thing looked so depressed, so heartbroken. It broke Blythe's own heart to see her little furry friend like this. She'd brought the dress along, hoping it would lift Penny Ling's spirits – that and an explanation.

"Penny Ling, I –" she began.

Penny Ling held up a paw, silencing her. "Blythe, don't say anything. I have something I need to say first." She took a deep breath, before blurting out: "I don't like the outfit you designed for me! I can't wear an oversized man suit! I'm a pretty panda, and I want to wear something pretty!"

"Pretty, huh?" Blythe asked. "You mean like this?" She held up the pink dress.

"That's mine?"

"Yes. This is the outfit I made for you."

"It's beautiful."

Blythe sat on the lawn chair and pulled the little panda close to her. "I'm sorry about the mix up. I was so caught up in my own problems that I never even noticed until Zoe pointed it out to me. But if you had just come to me sooner, we both could have completely avoided this whole mess."

She heard Roger's whistle from the other side of the roof. She turned to see him, now dressed in his suit. She had to admit, he looked rather handsome.

"Blythe, you're a designer extraordinaire," he said as he made his way over to them. He patted Penny Ling on the head. "It may have been old, ugly, and out of date, but when you got your hands on it, it became perfection."

"Don't mention it, Dad. I'm just glad you like it. Now you can enjoy your date with no worries."

"Yeah, about that." He reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a red rose. "For my beautiful date."

"Wait, me?"

"You are my favorite girl, after all."

"But I thought you meant with a woman! I thought that….I thought that if I had told you how I felt in the first place, we could have avoided this whole mess."

"I thought you knew I was talking about you. I assumed you'd want to go."

"Of course I would," Blythe said as she hugged her father. "But I was so busy fixing your suit and making outfits for the pets that I didn't have time to get one for me."

"Not a worry, Blythe," Roger said. "I already had Mrs. Twombly pick one out for you."

Blythe felt the bile rising in her throat as she realized that he was talking about that vile, garish, disgusting, horrendous dress Mrs. Twombly had shown her the other day.


	6. Russell Up Some Fun

RUSSELL UP SOME FUN

HOW DAY CAMP GOT SO MESSY RUSSELL HAD NO IDEA. NOTHING WAS WHERE it was supposed to be. The beds were out of order, the toys were strewn about, the kibble and water hadn't been replaced – okay, that duty was Mrs. Twombly's – but really, was it too much to ask the other pets to clean up?

Apparently it was, as Russell was always the one to make sure everything was put back where it belonged. Beds, toys, food, whatever.

He was currently sorting the toys based on whether they were squeaky or quiet.

"Soft. Loud. Soft. Loud. Really loud! Broken."

He heard the other pets laughing at something. That something was Pepper parading around, wearing a red clown nose and one of those fake arrows she loved so much.

"STOP!" He hurried over and ripped the arrow off of Pepper's head. "You could poke someone's eye out with this thing!"

The other pets booed him.

"Are you serious?" Pepper asked as she took the arrow back.

Russell again took the arrow from her paws. "Yes. Consider this thing confiscated."

Pepper laughed. "Come on, Rus. It's a rubber arrow. Soft. A gag toy."

"And gag on this toy someone could."

"It's just for fun," Pepper assured him.

Russell procured a roll of safety tape and wrapped some around the arrow before handing it back to Pepper. "Safety first. Fun second. I read that in a book."

"What book?" Vinnie asked.

" _The Guidebook to Following Proper Safety Procedures While Engaging in Fun_ ," Russell explained. "I'm not kidding. Chapter One is 'Safety', Chapter Two is 'Fun'.

Sunil rolled his eyes. "Come on, Vinnie, let's go find something safe and fun to do."

"Yeah, like play with bubble wrap. That's always fun."

The pets dispersed.

Russell placed the taped up arrow back on Pepper's head. "Here. Now you can play with this." He chuckled as Pepper just glared at him.

###################################

Some of the pets needed exercise, so Mrs. Twombly had let Blythe take two of them to the park for a walk. Blythe had decided to take Zoe and Minka, the two who had wanted to go the most. So she picked up the monkey and the dog, grabbed two leashes from the rack, and they headed off to the park.

Minka was even more excited than she normally was. She loved to be outside; she'd made it clear that she hated being cooped up, as she had a severe case of claustrophobia. She didn't even like being in the dumbwaiter for more than a few moments at a time. Any longer than that and she would suffer a panic attack.

Good thing it was a nice day today. The most beautiful it had been in quite a while. The air was crisp, the sky was clear, there was a light breeze, and any chance for Blythe to wear shorts and let her legs breathe was welcome.

Minka was running ahead of Blythe and Zoe, nearly pulling them along.

"I love it, I love it, I love it!" she cried.

"I would, if I didn't just have my fur flat-ironed," Zoe said. "This outdoor air isn't being very kind to me."

"You look fine, Zoe," Blythe said. "It'd be worse if it were humid today."

 _BAM!_

Blythe had never even noticed Sue until the two girls slammed into each other. She quickly righted herself; Sue's reflexes weren't quite as good, and she hit the ground, hard. Sue was dressed in a dark gray track suit and had a blue and red headband on her head. She'd been out for a jog.

"My bad, Blythe. I wasn't looking where I was going. Track tryouts are coming up, and I was really getting into it."

"Well, it's always good to run into you, Sue," Blythe said as she helped Zoe and Minka up off the ground. "Just not literally, you know.

Sue stood up and brushed herself off. "What a mess. If only I could be more like you, Blythe. You don't have a mark on you."

"I just got lucky, that's all. And besides, between the two of us, you're the one who's in shape. I wouldn't last a few seconds in the hundred meter dash. Listen, I live just a couple of blocks away. I think I've got something that can fit you. Come on. We'll get you cleaned up."

"Thanks, Blythe. You're a lifesaver."

"Just one friend trying to help another."

#########################

Everything was right where it was supposed to be. The toys were sorted according to how loud their squeakers were, the beds were put back in their proper places – along with the pillows being in the right places on the beds – and Mrs. Twombly had recently refilled the kibble and water dishes. Everything was just as it should be.

Russell was proud of himself, proud of how everything had managed to stay orderly for this long.

Not if Sunil and Vinnie had anything to say about it. While Russell wasn't watching, they swapped some of the squeaky toys, messed up the plastic toy rack, and exchanged the pillows on some of the beds.

"Messy, messy, messy," Russell grumbled as he fixed the pillows. "Organized beds ensure quality nap time. Am I really the only one who knows this?" He spotted a slobbered squeaky toy in a bin of tennis balls. "How did you get in there? And why are you so slobbery? Who is responsible for this?"

He heard Vinnie and Sunil laughing nearby.

"Don't you two know that these things just ooze bacteria?" Russell said as he used a pair of forceps to lift the toy off of the tennis balls.

"Lighten up, Rusty," Vinnie said. "We're just having some fun with you. Learn to laugh."

"Well, excuse me for trying to look out for everyone's well-being," Russell said as he dropped the toy in the garbage. "And don't call me Rusty."

Sunil groaned. "Why so serious all the time?"

"Maybe we should start calling you Seriussell," Vinnie said.

"I get it," Sunil laughed.

Russell growled and chattered in frustration. Why wasn't anyone else taking their safety seriously? Did they want to visit the vet? Did they want to get seriously hurt? It was like he was the only one who cared.

Everyone else was just laughing at his expense.

###############################

While Sue was in the shower, Blythe took the time to make up some new designs for Blythe Style. Mrs. Twombly had already approved of several, and she was about to start taking them from concept to reality.

She'd loaned Sue one of her older outfits, one she hadn't worn in a few months.

"How do I look?" Sue asked as she came back into the room.

Blythe turned away from her pin board, where she pinned all of the designs she was about to start making, and looked Sue over. She was now wearing one of Blythe's old dresses, dark brown with green and blue flower patterns and blue leggings underneath. Her bright red hair was still glistening with moisture.

"The word 'cute' comes to mind," Blythe said. "I'm serious. You look really good. It's like my clothes were meant for you."

"You think? Well, thanks for lending them to me. I'll get them back to you later."

"No problem," Blythe said as she got back to sorting through her designs.

Sue joined her, taking in the sights of her friend's designs. They were so good, so beautiful. She was a much better artist than Sue could ever hope to be. All of Sue's drawings were just scribbles. Even her stick figures were terrible, the stick people looking like they had a severe case of scoliosis.

"I wish I were more like you, Blythe," Sue said. "You're smart and funny and talented. Not to mention gorgeous."

"Thanks. I think."

"Blythe, you're perfect!"

"I'm not any more perfect than you are, Sue," Blythe replied. "I'm just like any normal person."

"Well, at least let me ask you a couple of questions," Sue said as Blythe finished sorting her designs. "What's your favorite color? Who's your favorite novelist? Which do you prefer – cake or pie? What toppings do you like on your pizza? What kind of shampoo do you use? Where do you do most of your shopping? Who do you like more – Edward or Jacob?"

 _I can't believe she just brought up THAT series,_ Blythe thought. _And Sue – please stop asking me all these questions._

 _####################################_

Russell checked off the items of his checklist as he went down the list, making sure he had done everything he had set out to do today.

"Oversee operations? Check. Organize Day Camp? Check. Direct, delegate, and disseminate? Check. Check checklist? Check. Double check the checklist to make sure I've checked everything on the checklist? Check and check. Everything checks out."

"Double checking your checklist, Russell?" Penny Ling asked as she walked past, bouncing her favorite bouncy ball.

"Check. Hey, Penny Ling, I've got a question. Off the books."

"We have books? But we don't know how to read."

"Never mind. Listen, I just want to know, do you think I'm too serious?"

"Well….I don't know if 'serious' is the best way to describe you," Penny Ling replied.

"Intellectually aware?"

"No, not that either."

"Formidably disciplined? Instinctively committed?"

"Actually, yes, let's go with serious." Russell turned away and sighed in sadness. "It's just that, you take things a bit too seriously sometimes. Remember the surprise party for Minka's birthday last month? You put out the candles with a fire extinguisher."

"Those candles were a serious fire hazard!" Russell shot back.

"Russell, we appreciate everything you do for us around here, trying to keep us safe and keep things organized and all that," Penny Ling said with a reassuring pat on his shoulder. "But maybe you should relax. Loosen up. Take things easy from time to time. You need to learn how to have some fun."

"I tried relaxing once," Russell said. "It hurt."

"How can relaxing hurt?"

"I leaned up against something and fell over. This floor's harder than it looks. Maybe Mrs. Twombly should have padded it with rubber or something. Some nice, soft shag carpet wouldn't hurt either."

Penny Ling just rolled her eyes.

##################################

"Taco Tuesday!" Jasper announced as he made his way through the school halls. "It's Taco Tuesday today! Today's Tuesday, which means –"

"We get it, Jasper," Blythe said. "Tacos."

" _Si, seniorita_ ," Jasper said. Blythe and Youngmee couldn't help but chuckle at him. "What? I pay attention during Spanish class."

Sue joined them as they made their way through the halls. "Hey Blythe. Remember when you said your clothes were meant for me?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you don't mind if I hold on to them a little bit longer, do you?"

"Keep them as long as you want, Sue. I've got no problem with it. Just don't mention that particular book series again. Yuck."

"She started talking about…THAT…didn't she?" Jasper asked with a gag.

"Yeah," Blythe replied. "But she stopped after –"

"I asked her," Sue joined in, speaking at the same time as Blythe.

 _Okay, what was that?_ Blythe thought. _How did Sue know what I was going to say? Is she taking a page from Youngmee's book?_ She shook her head and turned back to Youngmee and Jasper.

"Hope you guys studied –"

"For the big algebra test this afternoon," Sue finished alongside her.

"Okay, Sue, what's going on?" Blythe asked. "You seem to be finishing –"

"My sentences with me," Sue said just as soon as Blythe did.

"Yeah, can you, you know, not do that? It's weird."

The bell rang, signaling them to get to class.

####################################

It was the first time since Blythe helped save the store that they got a visiting pet. A kind, albeit pudgy, young man named Jack had dropped off his pig, Mary Francis, while he went out to go do some grocery shopping and see a movie. Anna had informed Jack that keeping Mary Francis here was free of charge; he just had to be back to get her before closing time that evening.

She carried the small pig into the day camp and was instantly swarmed by the other pets, who were excited to meet a new playmate.

"We have a new guest camper today, sweeties. Meet Mary Francis." She set Mary on the floor, and the other pets crowded around her, barking and hooting and chattering with excitement. "Now, now, don't all of you hog Mary at once. Oops, pardon the pun." She turned and headed back to the shop floor, leaving the pets alone.

"Welcome to Littlest Pet Shop, Mary Francis," Minka greeted as she bounced up and down. "You're sure to have a great time here. With a capital GREAT!"

Russell pushed his way past the other pets. "Excuse me, pardon me. I'll take it from here, Minka. I'm Russell, your pet shop guide and representative of Littlest Pet Shop Day Camp. Welcome to Day Camp. We hope you'll feel right at home, Miss Francis."

"Do I look like a miss to you?" the pig asked in a grumpy male voice.

The pets' mouths all clamped shut. With a name like Mary Francis, they had expected a female, a sow – not a boar. Then again, something similar happened when they freed Tootsie, a male dog that they thought was Zoe's sister Gail, from Largest Ever Pet Shop. But still, it was surprising to hear that kind of voice come out of a hog with such a feminine name.

"Confused by the name, ain't ya?" he asked. "Can't say I blame ya. My owner always wanted a sow, but he got the boar and the name just stuck." He adjusted the little pink bow around his neck.

"Okay, so I guess to avoid accidentally calling you by feminine titles, maybe we should just stick to calling you Mr. Francis?" Russell suggested.

"Francis'll do. Or Frankie. Whatever you prefer. So, quick question – when's lunch served around here?"

"Any time now," Russell replied. "Speaking of questions, I've got a few for you – standard operating procedure around Day Camp."

"Here he goes," Penny Ling whispered to Sunil as Russell and Mary Francis walked to the opposite end of the room.

"Skin allergies?" Russell asked.

"Eczema," Mary Francis answered.

"Favorite hobby?"

"Football. Kind of ironic, considering I'm a pig. Where'd the term pigskin even come from?"

 _I think that should be obvious,_ Russell thought. "Favorite food?"

"Eh, pretty much anything. I'm a pig, after all."

"Favorite pastime outside of football and eating?"

"Napping in a dark, cool, quiet place. Like under the kitchen sink at my owner's place."

###############################

The items on today's lunch menu: Grilled chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, various assorted fruits, cookies and brownies, and a choice of water, juice, or milk. Blythe was in line, having just dabbed a dollop of gravy onto her tiny mound of mashed potatoes – she was never a big fan, and whenever she did eat it, it was only a little bit; the same was true of lima beans.

Sue was in line behind her. She had been following Blythe all day – finishing her sentences, going to the restroom at the same time, even trying to alter her voice so she sounded just like Blythe. Blythe had asked her numerous times to stop, but Sue wasn't listening. She just kept imitating Blythe, trying to emulate her friend in any way she could.

Earlier, Blythe had thought it was weird, but now, she was starting to get freaked out by it.

"Hey, Blythe, can you give me some tips on how to be, you know, perfect?" Sue asked.

"Sue, for the umpteenth time today, I'm not perfect," Blythe replied.

"Don't be so modest. Everything about you is perfect. Even that perfectly-formed heart-shaped puddle of gravy on your potatoes. How do you do it? What's your secret?"

"There is no secret, because I'm not perfect. Not any more than you, or Youngmee, or Jasper – heck, I'm not any more perfect than the Biskits."

She picked up a brownie; Sue picked up a brownie. She reached for a bottle of water; Sue did the same. Blythe tried to trick Sue, making it look like she was going to pick up a box of juice before quickly grabbing a bottle of water; it didn't work – Sue grabbed a bottle at the same time that Blythe did.

 _She's starting to freak me out,_ Blythe thought as they made their way to their usual table. _Why is she trying so hard to emulate me? Why can't she just be herself? She was fine as Sue Patterson; she doesn't have to try to be Blythe Baxter._

The two sat down at their table. Blythe stared at Sue for a few seconds, trying to decide her next move. Something that Sue wouldn't do.

She reached for her spoon and picked it up with her left hand. Everyone knew that Blythe was right handed; she felt so awkward eating or writing or drawing with her left hand.

Sue picked up her spoon with her left hand. Blythe mentally kicked herself, only just now remembering that Sue was left-handed.

 _Okay Sue, you win that round,_ Blythe thought as she scooped some mashed potatoes into her mouth. _But seriously, you've got to stop this. This isn't who you are!_

The four of them ate in silence – Blythe wishing that Sue would stop trying to be like her; Sue doing everything she could to be just like Blythe; and Jasper and Youngmee wondering when this was going to end.

After lunch, Blythe caught Sue in the hallway. She led her friend over to a private area, a place where they could talk in peace.

"Okay Sue, listen, I don't know how you got it into your mind that you should be just like me, but it's got to stop," Blythe said sternly. "This isn't who you are, and to be honest, it's weirding me out."

"But Blythe, I'd give anything to be just like you," Sue replied. "Perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect everything!"

"I'M NOT PERFECT! NEVER HAVE BEEN, NEVER WILL BE! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UNDERSTAND THAT?!" Blythe screamed. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell like that. That was uncalled for."

"A little bit, yeah," Sue agreed. "But don't worry about it. I totally understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah. You're just being modest."

This was not going how Blythe had expected. She had had this whole scenario played out in her mind; she would talk to Sue and convince her to stop doing everything Blythe did. Sue would agree, and things would go back to the way they should have been.

But this talk seemed to have had the opposite effect. From what she had just said, Blythe believed that Sue was going to try even harder to be just like Blythe.

She grabbed Sue by the shoulders. "Don't do this! Be yourself! Don't be Blythe Baxter – be Susan Patterson!"

 _BLYTHE: If you could only see_

 _What it's like to be_

 _Be yourself, as you are_

 _You could be a shining star_

 _SUE: If I could only be_

 _A little less like me_

 _Be like you, start anew_

 _Learning everything you do_

 _BLYTHE: Just dress in your own style_

 _You don't need to impress_

 _SUE: Just threw out all my clothes_

 _Tell me where you got that dress_

 _BLYTHE: You can think for yourself_

 _Just say what's on your mind_

 _SUE: What you said is perfect_

 _I've got to memorize that line_

 _BLYTHE: Be yourself_

 _SUE: Be like you_

 _I wanna be just like you_

 _BLYTHE: Be yourself_

 _SUE: Be like you, from your shoes_

 _To your hair, to your new shampoo_

 _BLYTHE: Try out a brand new hobby_

 _Like painting or ballet_

 _SUE: I just changed all my classes_

 _We can hang out everyday_

 _BLYTHE: Maybe take a trip_

 _It's a big world out there_

 _SUE: I'll just stay close to you_

 _I'm not going anywhere_

 _BLYTHE: Be yourself_

 _SUE: Be like you_

 _I wanna be just like you_

 _BLYTHE: Be yourself_

 _SUE: Be like you, act like you_

 _We'll be best friends and sisters too_

 _####################################_

Russell had told the other pets to leave Mary Francis be; after Russell finished interviewing him and giving him the tour of the day camp, the boar had asked that they respect his privacy – he wasn't a very social hog, but they did as he had requested, giving him his space unless he were to directly talk to one of them.

Which, so far, had not happened.

While the brief moment of quietness had allowed Mary Francis time to himself, it also allowed Russell to once again go over his to-do list. He had organized the pet toys, fluffed the beds and pillows, cleaned up after Minka, Vinnie, and Sunil, interviewed Mary Francis, gave him the tour, and the only thing left to do now was to go over his to-do list again to make sure he hadn't missed anything.

"Well, if it ain't our favorite hedgehog stick in the mud."

Russell looked up from his little notepad – because he had to hold the pen in his mouth whenever he wrote, the writing was nothing but scribbles, but that didn't matter to Russell; he was a hedgehog, he hardly knew how to read or write, and besides, he knew what he had meant.

He looked up to see Pepper, wearing purple flamenco dress and a hat decorated with wax fruit.

"Pepper, do you mind explaining why you're wearing that ridiculous outfit?"

"She hasn't explained to me, either," Zoe said as she walked up to them, wearing a similar outfit, this one bright green with orange and red highlights. "But I think it has something to do with the fact that we're trying to find new and inventive ways to say, 'Hello, Russell, you're way too serious!', or something like that."

"Are you mocking me?" Russell asked.

"No!" Vinnie cried; he was wearing black and white lederhosen with a large drum tied around him. "No, no no no no – yes."

"Listen, Russell," Zoe said. "It's just that we think you need to relax. Let your hair down once in a while."

"Zoe, my quills are basically hardened hairs. Letting them down is impossible. Besides, my owner paid good money for this 'do."

"Russell, buddy, pal, what Zoe's saying is that you need to stop being such a stick in the mud," Pepper said. "Chillax. Take a load off. Learn to have some fun without being a killjoy."

"Yeah," Minka agreed as she swung from the branch of the tree in the center of the room. "A little fun and relaxation never hurt anyone."

"Okay, wait!" Russell shouted. "Before this gets too out of paw! You think I should learn to have fun? You think I don't know how to have a good time?"

"We don't think," Sunil said. "You've pretty much proven it today. I mean, a lot more than usual."

Russell chattered in annoyance and stomped off. _I'll show them,_ he silently huffed. _Where's that Hawaiian shirt Blythe bought me?_

 _#####################################_

Blythe was exhausted, more mentally than physically. She'd been dealing with Sue all day, trying to convince her to stop being so much like Blythe to no avail. It was like anything Blythe said went in one ear and out the other; Sue was completely ignoring her!

Well, on the plus side, at least Sue hadn't bothered to move in with Blythe or ask Mrs. Twombly for a job at the pet shop. Though Blythe figured that even that was a matter of time.

The first thing she noticed when she walked through the doors of the small store was Russell, sitting on the counter, dressed in that green and white Hawaiian shirt she'd bought him earlier in the week and holding a coconut in his tiny paws, sipping the inner juices out through a swirly straw, and with a tiny umbrella attached to the shell of the fruit.

"…Explain…?"

"Aloha, Blythe. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Fun Russell."

"Is that so?"

"Yup. It's my new persona. Everyone sees me one way. I want them to see me another way. So long Seriussell, hello Fun Russell."

"WHY?!" Blythe shouted. "Why does everyone want a new persona all of a sudden? Why does everyone want to be someone they're not?"

"Blythe, Seriussell may have asked you to use your indoor voice, but not Fun Russell! Go ahead, shout! Shout! Let it all out!" He donned a pair of sunglasses that were much too small for his hedgehog head.

"Wait, wait, are you trying to say that the key to everyone seeing you differently is…your shirt?"

"That's a start," Russell answered.

Blythe rubbed her chin. "You know, you little ex-serious hedgehog, you may be on to something. You've just given me an idea." She scratched his head, careful not to touch his quills. "Thanks."

"Sure. Wait, what idea?"

"I'll tell you later," Blythe said. "Right now, I have some new clothes to try on." She hurried out the door.

Russell just shrugged his shoulders and hopped off the counter. He made his way over to the day camp, passed through the little pet door, and called out to everyone.

"I have an announcement! Seriussell is no more! Pets of all varieties, meet Fun Russell!"

 _RUSSELL: I do not care what's wrong or right_

 _I never floss my teeth at night_

 _You'll never hear me be uptight_

 _That's how fun it is being fun_

 _Don't dot my I's or cross my T's_

 _Don't strain my runny cottage cheese_

 _Don't separate my socks and tees_

 _That's how fun it is being fun_

 _So much fun being fun_

 _It's so much fun being fun_

 _It's so much fun being fun_

 _It's so much fun being fun_

 _Fun comes first and safety last_

 _So what if my leg is put in a cast_

 _Dance all night and have a blast_

 _That's how fun it is being fun_

 _Swing a tire from a tree_

 _We'll sing all night karaoke_

 _Wanna juggle? Juggle me_

 _That's how fun it is being fun_

 _So much fun being fun_

 _It's so much fun being fun_

 _It's so much fun being fun_

 _It's so much fun being fun_

 _We'll make a mess and never mop_

 _Blow all our money in a shop_

 _We'll take a wrong turn and get lost_

 _We don't care what we say or do_

 _We'll take a rocket to the moon_

 _We'll sail the whole world just to prove_

 _RUSSELL AND ZOE: So much fun being fun_

 _Just so much fun being fun_

 _It's so much fun being fun_

 _Just so much fun being fun_

 _RUSSELL: So much fun_

 _PEPPER: Being fun!_

 _RUSSELL: It's so much fun_

 _MINKA: Being fun!_

 _RUSSELL: It's so much fun_

 _VINNIE: Being fun!_

 _RUSSELL: It's so much fun being fun!_

 _#####################################_

Sue had heard what Blythe had told her; she just chose to ignore it. After all, how could you ignore perfection? It was impossible, and Blythe was the most perfect person Sue knew. She had no idea why Blythe was being so defensive about Sue wanting to be like her, so modest and humble about her perfection.

Sue figured her modesty was just an endearing quality. Most perfect people rarely ever flaunted their perfection around for the whole world to see.

She met Jasper and Youngmee in the halls.

"Um, Sue?" Jasper asked. "Is it just me, or are you looking more and more like –"

"Blythe!" Youngmee cried.

"Oh, don't you start too," Jasper huffed.

"No, look at Blythe!" Youngmee pointed at Blythe as she made her way over to them.

"Whoa! What the heck happened to you?"

She was wearing a purple bowler hat with an orange feather stuck in it, a green top, purple skirt – matching the hat – orange leggings, and the furriest and ugliest blue boots any of them had ever seen, and yet here Blythe was, proudly showing it off like it was the best new thing.

"Hi guys."

Sue just stared in wide-eyed horror at what her friend was wearing. Jasper was stifling a laugh. Youngmee had her hand over her mouth, either trying to stifle a laugh too, or trying not to throw up.

"Blythe, your outfit. It's so…so…."

"Completely lame, right Sue? Yeah, I know."

Just then, who should walk by but Whittany and Brittany Biskit.

"I cannot believe these words are coming out of my mouth," Whittany said, "and I will, like, deny it if you ever tell anyone, but there are just two words to describe that outfit."

 _Completely lame, right?_ Blythe thought. _They'd laugh if they knew that was the idea._

That was what Blythe had expected, anyway, but it wasn't what Brittany said.

"A-ma-zing!"

"Wait, what?" She suddenly found herself surrounded by students, asking her about her outfit, where she got it, how much it cost, and if the stores still had any left in stock.

 _This isn't what I had in mind when I talked to Russell yesterday._

 _##################################_

Mary Francis's owner had gone out again – when Jack heard that Littlest Pet Shop was accepting guests for Day Camp again, he dropped Mary Francis off to go see a movie, and today, he had gone to see that movie again. It must have been good if Jack wanted to go see it two days in a row.

Yesterday, for the most part, the pets had honored his wishes to be left alone unless he talked to them first. He'd already spoken with the mongoose – Sunil – who seemed to be a little too flighty, but a good animal to talk to either way. The same was true of the gecko, minus the flightiness – Vinnie was energetic and a little too flamboyant. The monkey Minka put him to shame in terms of how energetic she was, though. Zoe – the dog – put on an impromptu concert, which he rather enjoyed, and Penny Ling the panda, when she wasn't playing with the other pets, was off by herself chewing on a bamboo reed.

Yesterday, the hedgehog – he had introduced himself as Russell – kept asking him questions when he first arrived, but after that, he had left Mary Francis alone. Today, though – today was different. He was loud, rambunctious, perhaps a little on the obnoxious side. He interrupted the skunk's juggling act with an airhorn, drew moustaches on his and Sunil's faces with a marker, and caused the same kind of ruckus he had warned Mary Francis about yesterday.

He tried to get some space, but it was like no matter where he went, someone was throwing something at him. He just wanted to be left alone for a little while, in a quiet place to nap. Was that too much to ask?

####################################

Blythe had managed to escape the swarm of students – the bell for first period certainly helped – but now she had a new problem. It wasn't a problem just yet, but she was sure that it would be soon.

She had decided to wait a few minutes after the bell rang before going to Mr. Banks's class. It would be her first tardy in seven years. She had no idea what was going to happen – would she get detention? Suspended? Stay after class writing "I Will Not Be Tardy" on the blackboard a hundred times? Whatever the punishment, she was sure it would be worth it, as long as it proved to Sue that Blythe wasn't perfect and got Sue to stop trying to imitate her.

She stood outside the door to the classroom, making sure to stay away from the window so no one would see her. It was quiet in the halls, allowing her to hear Mr. Banks begin the morning roll call.

She waited a few seconds after he called her name before she opened the door.

"I'm here, Mr. Banks," she said. "Yes, I know, I'm tardy." She glanced to the back of the room, to Sue's seat; somehow, Sue had managed to find an exact match of the outfit Blythe was wearing.

Blythe faked a yawn as she stepped into the classroom, shutting the door behind her. "I guess I just wasn't mentally prepared this morning," she said as she made her way to her seat. "These things happen when you're NOT PERFECT. I guess I'm in big trouble, aren't I?"

Mr. Banks stared at her for a moment, his steel blue eyes squinting as he thought. "Not at all. A mental break this time of day could be useful. Take five, class."

Sue smiled at Blythe, who began banging her head off of her desk, frustrated that another plan had just backfired.

###################################

The morning classes seemed to drag on. No matter what Blythe did while trying to show Sue how imperfect she was, every plan backfired. She was tardy, Mr. Banks gave everyone a five minute break; she deliberately left her math homework at home, so Mrs. Mondt had told everyone that last night's assignment was null and void; and during lunch, she was so tempted to start a food fight, just to vent.

She figured she was better off venting to her friends than by getting into more trouble than she wanted, so she met with Youngmee and Jasper after lunch, away from Sue.

"Why's your forehead so red?" Jasper asked.

Blythe rubbed her forehead, trying to dull the throbbing pain in her cranium. "I was banging my head off of everything all day – my books, my desks, the walls, my locker. Now that I think about it, it probably wasn't a good idea."

"That's a good way to give yourself a concussion," Youngmee said.

"But you guys, this day is the worst day I've had in Downtown City," Blythe cried. "And do you know why? Because of Sue! She's my friend, and I love her, but I've had it up to Jupiter with her emulating me! I don't know how to get her to stop! She's copying everything I do – my clothes, my classes, my shampoos, even finishing my –"

"Finishing your sentences," Jasper finished for her. "Yeah, we noticed. I think it would get annoying after a while."

"Understatement of the millennium," Blythe growled. "She thinks I'm perfect, but I'm not! I'm just like any other teenage boy or girl. I don't know how to make her see that. I've tried to show her how imperfect I am, but every plan I've come up with has blown up in my face. Hence the red forehead. I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Have you tried looking for something you're really bad at?" Youngmee asked.

"Oh, well, there's a few things I'm no good at," Blythe answered. "Being on camera, dancing in public, skateboarding, roller skating, I'm not very ath…let…ic – THAT'S IT!"

"What's it?" Jasper asked. Blythe pointed to the wall behind him, showing him the poster for track tryouts, which were this afternoon. "Track?"

"Believe it or not, I am horribly out of shape. I can't even run a quarter of the hundred meter dash. So if I try out for track and flub it up, that'll show Sue that I'm not perfect, and hopefully, she'll stop imitating me."

"That's assuming this is another plan that doesn't blow up spectacularly in your face," Jasper said flatly as he crossed his arms. "This whole thing sort of reminds me of that dumb coyote. Every plan he comes up with to catch that bird falls apart."

"The coyote has to succeed sometime, and I'm going to make darn sure that this is that time," Blythe said. "Watch me."

#########################################

Mary Francis was gone!

The pets – minus Russell, who was too busy dancing on the birdhouse – had looked everywhere for that boar, but had found no sign of him. He wasn't in the fire hydrant, he wasn't in or behind the tree, he wasn't under or behind the chair – Mrs. Twombly had gotten a new one the other day to replace the one Penny Ling destroyed – he wasn't anywhere to be seen!

They didn't know what to do. Only one pet could help them, but he was busy being irresponsible, ignoring them no matter how loudly they called his name.

Until Penny Ling shouted his name as loud as she could.

"RUSSELL!"

Russell stopped dancing and looked down at them. "What is it?"

"We have a big problem," Penny Ling announced.

"What, I'm still too serious for you?"

"No, it's Mary Francis. He's missing!"

"And I think that's not my problem. If he's missing all the fun, that's his fault. Come on, pets, let's boogie!"

"Russell, enough of this," Penny Ling said. "Mary Francis is gone!"

"Missing in action," Sunil said with a nod.

"Flew the coop," Vinnie put in.

"Again, how is that my problem?" Russell asked. "Better question, what do you expect me to do about it? Zoe's a dog; just have her sniff him out."

"I tried," Zoe said. "No luck. Listen, we need Seriussell back. He'll be able to help us find Mary Francis; he'll know what to do."

"Yeah, well, Seriussell is no more," Russell said. "Fun Russell is here to stay. I thought that was what you all wanted."

The pets all sighed; it was clear that they were on their own.

######################################

The last time Blythe had seen this part of the school, it was during a pep rally. And now here she was, in the school's brown and gold track uniform, waiting her turn to try out.

She'd already seen some students make the cut on the long jump. It looked simple enough – just run until it was time, and then jump as hard and as far as possible. But then again, Blythe didn't trust herself with this kind of activity. The last time she'd done any serious running was when she was being chased by Monban, the Biskits' own personal security robot.

She spotted Sue on the grass, stretching out her hamstrings.

"Hi Sue."

"Blythe? What brings you here?"

"Figured I'd try out," Blythe answered. "You know, since I'm really good at this."

"You're lying," Sue said. "You told me the other day you weren't as in shape as I am. And besides, I know why you're really doing this."

"You do?"

"I heard what you said to Jasper and Youngmee. You know, about me trying too hard to be like you."

"You did, huh?"

Sue stood up and shook her legs. "Yeah. I guess I got so caught up in trying to be like you that I wasn't listening to you when you told me to stop. It took you venting to Jasper and Youngmee for me to finally realize what I had been doing. Man, I feel like such a fool."

"Well, don't," Blythe said, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder. "You want to know who's perfect?"

"Who?"

"You. Just the way you are. That's what makes you so special. It's what separates us from everyone else. I said before that I'm not any more perfect than anyone else, but that's not entirely true. We're all perfect in our own little ways. I've got my fashion design and my love for the pets in Littlest Pet Shop, and you've got your athleticism. That right there is perfection enough for you, Sue."

"I guess you're right. I sort of forgot that for a little bit."

"Just try not to forget it again. And don't try to emulate me anymore. It's weird."

They both laughed, until Blythe's name was called.

"No thanks, Coach. I'm good."

"You're not going anywhere until you try the long jump, Blythe," Coach said.

Blythe looked at the long jump area. A long stretch of track, ending in a small square pit of sand. It seemed so long, such a far distance to run and jump.

She felt the trepidation rising in her. She was here now; may as well at least give it a shot.

She looked down at her feet, making sure that one shoe was untied, just as she had wanted. When Coach blew the whistle, she took off, running as fast as she could down the track, tripping over her untied laces, falling face first into the sand.

"Are you okay?" Sue asked her as she picked herself up.

Blythe spit some sand out of her mouth. "I think I bit my tongue." She moved off of the track as Sue's name was called. "Hey Sue. Don't do what I did."

"You mean leave your shoe untied, right?"

Blythe laughed, glad to see Sue was finally back to her old self. She watched as her friend sprinted down the track, took a great leap, and landed on the far edge of the sand pit.

"Holy cow," Coach breathed. "Patterson, you've just broken the school record! Congrats; welcome to Varsity!"

################################

Russell lay on a bed, exhausted from having so much fun. He had no idea how tiring it was. He felt like he could take a nap, even though it wasn't nap time yet – that wasn't for another…however long it was until nap time.

"Russell, we still can't find Mary Francis!" Minka hollered.

"We've looked everywhere for him," Zoe said. "But it's like he's just disappeared. I can't even sniff him out."

"Wait, I see what's going on here," Russell said. "You want me to stop being Fun Russell so you can go back to making jokes at my expense."

"No!" Penny Ling cried; tears were streaming down her little panda face. "We were wrong to try to force you to do this, Russell. We loved you just the way you were. We're sorry, we're so sorry! But we need the old you back to help us find Mary Francis! Please!"

Slowly, Russell stood up.

He cleared his throat.

And he began to speak – no, not speak, but give directions, give orders, just as the old Seriussell would have done.

"Okay pets, listen up! Ironically, Mary Francis is a fan of football, so there's a good chance he's over by the toy box. Vinnie, Sunil, you two look over there. Pay extra attention to the squeaky footballs. Zoe, Minka, you two look through the creams and lotions – Mary Francis suffers a mild case of Eczema. Pepper, you check the broom closet and Penny Ling, you check the restrooms – Mary Francis prefers to sleep on cold floors. Ready? Break!"

"Good to have you back, Russell," Penny Ling said as the pets dispersed.

"Good to be back," Russell said. _Little do they know that I never left. It was all part of my plan._ He looked out the window into the main shop floor. _Now, there's just one place left for me to check._

Russell headed out into the shop, and the first thing he noticed was a trail of kibble, leading to underneath a table. He followed the trail; as he got closer to the table, he heard someone snoring. He lifted the tablecloth, found Mary Francis sleeping under the table, propped up on several bags of kibble, napping away.

"Well, that wasn't so hard."

A few hours later, Mary Francis's owner arrived to pick him up. The pets all said their goodbyes as Mary Francis was hooked to a leash and walked out the door of the shop.

"I'm so glad to have you back, Russell," Zoe said once Mrs. Twombly was out of earshot.

"Yeah, it's great to have you back to your old self, Rusty," Vinnie agreed. "I mean, Russell."

"Rusty's fine," Russell said. "I kind of like it."

"How about this?" Pepper asked as she put a gag arrow over her head. The other pets all had gag arrows on their heads; they all laughed as Russell's eyes went wide.

"Hey! You're going to poke an eye out with those things!" The pets continued to laugh as they ran back into Day Camp. "Running with sharp objects is dangerous, you know! And I'm sure getting an eye poked out hurts! A lot!"

"Who's getting their eyes poked out?"

Russell turned to see Blythe coming through the door.

"Wait, where's your shirt?" she asked.

"It wasn't my style," Russell said. "I'm perfectly fine just the way I am."

"So….Is Fun Russell gone for good?"

"Not entirely. I'm still the serious hedgehog I was before, but I think I've lightened up a bit." He donned a gag rubber arrow, placing it over his head, and joined Blythe in her laughter.


	7. Blythe's Crush

BLYTHE'S CRUSH

"HOW HAVE I NEVER TRIED THIS BEFORE?" BLYTHE ASKED AS SHE AND SUE ROLLED through the park on their roller skates. Sue had lent Blythe a pair after she asked Sue to show her how to use them. The first few attempts had been…shaky, to say the least. The first time Blythe put the roller skates on, she hadn't even had a chance to stand up before she fell flat on her rear.

"You really like this, don't you?" Sue asked.

"It's awesome!"

"You want awesome? Watch this." Sue raised one of her legs, balancing herself on just one set of skates. She effortlessly swerved past people and their pets, jumped over a trash can, spun around a lamp post; she made it look so easy.

"That's amazing," Blythe breathed. "Seriously, is there anything you can't do on these things?"

"You can do that too, Blythe. You just need to practice a little bit and you'll be an expert in no time. Look, half an hour and already you're balancing yourself without having to hold onto something."

"It is getting a little bit easier to stand on these things, yeah," Blythe agreed. "But what you just did – I don't think I can even match that."

"All you have to do is lift your foot," Sue said. "Easy as that."

"Yeah, um….Remind me, which one of us is the jock and which one of us is the designer? I'll just fall on my face again. And I doubt I'll land on the grass."

"You've got to have a little more faith in yourself than that, Blythe. Just give it a shot. Go on. Raise your foot."

"But –"

"Foot. Raise. Now."

Blythe slowly lifted one foot off of the ground. As soon as it was in the air, Sue pushed her down the path. Blythe flailed her arms, trying to find her balance, which she eventually did, sailing down the path, managing to stay balanced on just one leg.

She turned to call to Sue, not noticing the boy until they slammed into each other and fell to the ground.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" Blythe cried. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," the boy said as he stood up. "What about you? Nothing broken?"

Blythe was rendered speechless at how handsome he was. He was tall, with slightly tan skin, dark brown hair, and the richest green eyes she'd ever seen. A tiny scar was under his left eye. He was wearing a dark gray T-shirt under a bright red jacket. And the way the sun was shining behind the blue helmet he was wearing on his head – it made him look like an angel, like he had descended from Heaven.

He held out a hand, helping Blythe to her feet.

"Yes," she whispered. "You are so okay."

"What?"

Blythe shook her head, instantly regretting having said anything. "I said, I'm okay. Nothing broken. Except maybe my pride."

"Glad to hear it," the boy said as he picked up his skateboard. "Um….You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?"

"I'm Blythe. You've probably seen me in school."

"Yeah, that would explain it." He set his skateboard on the ground and stood on it. "Well, see you around, Blythe." He started rolling away.

She never took his eyes off of him. He was the most handsome, dreamiest boy she'd ever met.

And yet she didn't even know his name.

 _I'll have to ask him if I see him on Monday,_ she thought as she turned to go back to meet Sue.

She spotted something shiny on the ground – a set of keys attached to a small chain and ring. The boy; he must have dropped them when he and Blythe ran into each other! She picked them up, but he was too far gone now. There was no way she would be able to get his attention, no matter how hard she tried.

 _And this is what happens when you don't ask for a name!_

 _#########################_

Josh thought back to that girl – Blythe – as he rolled down the path. He'd seen her at school, and though he never even said a word to her until today, he thought that she was pretty cute.

 _But a guy like me having a chance with a bombshell like her? Never in a million years._

He came to a stop near one of the hot dog vendors. "Hi, Bud."

"Hey Josh. How're ya doing?"

"Can't complain. Just bumped into someone from school a moment ago. Some girl I've seen around the halls."

"Yeah? She cute?"

"Kind of. A little too young for you, though."

Bud laughed, that deep, throaty laugh Josh knew him so well for. "I was asking for you, runt. So, you here for a dog, or you want to talk about girls some more?"

"Just make me one with everything."

"Like the old Zen masters say," Bud joked as he placed a hot dog in a bun. He began to pile it with chili, peppers, mustard, ketchup, and onions. "The usual – buck fifty."

Josh reached into his pockets for the money. As he pulled a five dollar bill out of his pocket, he noticed something was missing.

 _Where are my keys? Eh, probably left them back at the house. I'll get them later._ He took his sandwich and his change and started walking down the path.

####################################

Sunil had started a new hobby. He was now working on his psychic abilities. He already knew that most of the other pets doubted him as a magician – seeing how some of his acts tended to literally blow up in his face, he couldn't blame them – but he figured it was always a good idea to try new things.

Which he was doing now with a deck of playing cards, trying to guess which one he had without looking at it.

"Five." The card was an eight. "Wrong." He picked up another card. "Twenty-seven." The card was an Ace. "Not even close." He picked up a third card. "Nine." The card was a Jack. "That's not even a number." He picked up a fourth card. "A hundred and three." The card was a three. "I'll take it."

Zoe's loud shriek of terror startled him, causing him to drop all of the cards.

"This is terrible!" she shouted.

"What's terrible?" Sunil asked.

"My beret!" Zoe yelled. "My beret is gone!"

Sunil squinted his eyes at her. How could she not know that her beret was on her head, where it almost always was?

"I'm not being pink'd or punk'd or pank'd or whatever it is, am I?"

"It's gone, gone, gone baby gone!" Sunil began picking up his cards. "I'm serious, Sunil! As serious as a deer tick!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiight. Look, Zoe, I'm a little busy practicing my psychic abilities right now, so if you'll excuse me…."

"Wait, that's it!" Zoe cried. "Sunil, you can use your powers to help me find my beret."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because we're friends and I'm asking nicely?"

"I don't think there's any need for that, Zoe. Your beret is –"

"LOST! GONE! MISSING! CAN NOT BE FOUND!"

Sunil huffed in annoyance. "Oh, fine, if it'll make you feel better. Close your eyes and we'll both get a vision of where it is."

"That's how this whole psychic thing works?"

"Zoe, who's the expert?"

"You are." She closed her eyes. "I'm not seeing anything yet."

"Give it a moment." He reached up to her head and plucked her beret from her scalp. "Zoe, you can open your eyes now."

"My beret!" Zoe cheered when she opened her eyes. "You found it! You really are psychic!"

"Well, I don't like to brag, but I could see it –"

"With your mind, right?" Zoe asked before he could finish. Sunil rolled his eyes and huffed again. "You have an incredibly amazing gift." She began to bark, calling out to the other pets. "Everyone! Come here!" Penny Ling, Vinnie, Russell, Pepper, and Minka gathered around. "Sunil used his new psychic powers to find my beret!" she announced.

The other pets oohed and awed in amazement.

"Zoe, you're over exaggerating," Sunil said. "The truth is –"

"The truth is that you have mad skills," Zoe said, interrupting him again. "You're the real deal, Sunil."

They heard the bell jingle as Blythe walked through the door. She had this strange look on her face; she looked like she was in a daze, like she had been hypnotized or something. She was walking much slower than usual, not watching where she was going, and tripped over one of the toys on the floor.

"Blythe, are you okay?" Russell asked.

"Oh, nothing," Blythe said. The tone of her voice as different; she sounded…oddly happy about something.

"Whenever you say 'nothing', that usually means something," Minka said. "So, spill!"

"Okay, you're right, it is something," Blythe said as she sat up on her knees. "I was out with Sue in the park and I accidentally bumped into a boy in the park, and when he left I noticed that his keys were cute – I mean, he'd dropped his keys, but I cute not find him – COULDN'T find him, that's what I meant! So now I have his cutes – his keys!"

The other pets just stared at her, wondering just what in the world she was prattling on about.

Vinnie leaned in close to Sunil. "Did you catch any of that?" he whispered to his mongoose friend.

"Must be a human thing," Sunil guessed with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I have an idea," Zoe said. "Have Sunil help you."

"WHAT!" Sunil shouted.

"Yeah. He can find anything. Probably anyone. He's psychic, you know."

"Is that true, Sunil?" Blythe asked him.

"I'm working on it," Sunil answered.

"Don't be so humble about it," Zoe said. "If Sunil can find my beret in two seconds flat, I'm sure he can find you your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," Blythe quickly said. "I don't even know his name. All I want to do is get him his keys back, that's it."

"That's not enough to go on," Sunil said. "Oh well. Sorry I couldn't be much help, Blythe."

"Just try it, Sunil," Zoe prompted. "At least once. For Blythe? For love?"

"I'm not in love with him!" Blythe retorted. "How can I have a crush on someone I only just met and never even heard his name? That's ridiculous."

"Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt," Sunil said. "Okay. Fine. Just don't get your hopes too high. Like I said, I'm still working on it."

"Listen to him, he's so modest," Zoe mused. "Go on, Sunil. You're up, Mr. Mongoose."

"My last name is Nevla," Sunil said as he took the keys from Blythe's hand. He closed his eyes and concentrated as hard as he could, focusing on the psychic imprint the boy had left on the keys.

Everyone watched, unblinking, waiting to hear what Sunil said.

He was snoring; Sunil had fallen asleep!

"Sunil!" Blythe yelled, waking him up.

"YAH! Don't yell like that. You startled me."

"Aren't you supposed to be trying to find the boy?" Zoe asked.

Sunil huffed again; he was starting to wish he'd never even brought up having started this hobby. "Fine." He closed his eyes again and started to concentrate – for real, this time.

An image came to him; a street sign.

"The corner of Maple and Main," Sunil announced.

"That's not that far from here," Blythe said. She took the keys back from Sunil and stood up. "Maybe I can still catch him." She rubbed a hand on Sunil's furry little head. "Thanks, Sunil."

"Wait a moment, Blythe. I'm not one hundred percent sure that's where your boyfriend is. He could be long gone by the time you get there," Sunil said as she walked away.

Blythe turned back to face him. "One: He's not my boyfriend. I already said that. Two: I trust you completely, Sunil. If you got a vision of Maple and Main, it's worth checking out. I mean, I'm sure that poor boy really wants his keys back."

Zoe stepped forward. "You're not thinking of going anywhere without me, are you? I want to see how this turns out."

Blythe opened up her bag, letting Zoe jump in. "Let's go, then."

 _I'm getting a vision of this not turning out so well,_ Sunil thought as Blythe ran out the door.

"Coming through, Mrs. Twombly! Emergency!" Blythe shouted as she ran past the older woman.

"Hope you get it all fixed up soon," Mrs. Twombly called after her as she came into the room, carrying something covered in a white sheet in her hands. "We have a new visitor, sweeties." She pulled the sheet off, revealing a tall bird cage. Inside the cage was a parrot with red, green, and blue feathers.

The parrot squawked as she opened the cage, letting him hop onto her hand. " _Hola! Hola!_ " he called in a language they didn't understand.

"No speak the Espanol," Mrs. Twombly said with a laugh. "Have fun, my little sweeties." She turned and headed back into the main shop floor.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Parrot," Russell said as soon as Mrs. Twombly was out of earshot. "I'm Russell. This is Penny Ling, Pepper, Minka, and –"

"I'm Vinnie!" Vinnie quickly said. He did a quick tap dance step. "I'm a dancer."

"You seriously call that dancing?" the parrot asked. "Dancing must be different here than in my home country."

"And where's that?" Minka asked.

The parrot gasped. "You don't know? _Que curiosa._ I am recognized the world over for my bravery and stunning good looks. You are in the presence of Esteban Banderas, _El Magnifico! El legendario loro colombiano!_ "

"You mind putting that in a language we can understand?" Pepper asked.

Esteban squawked in annoyance. "I am Esteban Banderas, the Magnificent! The legendary parrot of Colombia!"

"I'm sorry, but is that supposed to mean something to us?" Russell asked. "That name isn't exactly ringing a bell."

"Unbelievable," Esteban sighed. He turned to Vinnie. "Maybe you were too busy watching _Dancing with the Gecko_ to learn how I became a legend known the world over." Vinnie just glared at him, clearly insulted.

"Well, Stebby," Pepper said, "how about you enlighten us."

"It is not an easy task telling this story over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again," Esteban said. "But since you asked politely, I shall indulge you." He took a deep breath.

"I was born in the lush Amazon Rain Forest of Colombia, on the outskirts of a happy little village. It was a quaint, good, quiet life for everyone. I had no idea of the danger that was coming soon. A wild group of _bandidos_ invaded our village! They captured everyone; not even the sheriff could stand up to them. But there was a brave – not to mention handsome – young parrot who had the courage to stand up to these rogue outlaws. I chased them out of the village, and was hailed as a hero!"

The pets oohed and awed at his story.

All except for Vinnie, who was skeptical of the whole thing. There was no way this parrot could be the hero he said he was. He was barely bigger than Penny Ling; how could he possibly save an entire village from bandits? It seemed too good to be true, too farfetched.

"I cannot deny my status as a hero," Esteban said as he flapped up to a perch. "After I saved the village, the story of my bravery spread across all of Colombia. And then it went viral across the information super highway. That is why I was so surprised that you did not know who I am."

"We sure know you now," Minka chirped.

 _Yeah,_ Vinnie thought. _I won't be forgetting him any time soon._

"I'm sure you won't be forgetting about me any time soon," Esteban said to the other pets. "It's not every day you get to meet a legendary hero."

 _Legend my tail. I'll be the judge of that._

 _###########################_

Blythe raced her scooter down the street at top speed – which wasn't much, barely thirty miles an hour. But it was enough for her to reach the corner of Maple and Main, just as the boy she had seen in the park was walking past the sign, his skateboard tucked under his arm.

"Zoe, I think we found him," Blythe said as she raced to catch up to him. "Hey! Sorry to bother you again, but I think you lost your keys. I just wanted to return them to you."

The boy turned around. It wasn't the boy she'd met in the park. He was nowhere near as cute looking, and he didn't have a scar – instead, he had a piercing in his nose.

"Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."

"Who?" the boy asked.

"I didn't get his name," Blythe replied. "But he wears a jacket just like that one, has a skateboard, and a scar under one eye."

"Well, you have to be a part of the Red Rippers to have a jacket like this."

"Red Rippers?"

"My skateboard crew. You said he has a scar under his eye?"

"Yeah."

"You must mean Josh Sharpe. Yeah, he got that during one of his dumber stunts. Why? You looking for him?"

"Yeah. Do you know where I can find him? He lost his keys when I met him in the park earlier and I want to get them back to him."

"Not the first time he lost his keys," the boy said. "Heck, he once lost them in the fridge."

"How'd he manage that one?"

"His mother mixed the keys in when she made some Jell-O last week."

"HOW'D SHE MANAGE THAT ONE?!"

"Still trying to find that out. Anyway, if you're looking for Josh, he's either doing one of two things – four if you count sleeping and eating hot dogs. He's either skating or reading. So I'd suggest checking the library before heading to the skate park." He set his skateboard on the sidewalk and stood on it. "Good luck." He scratched Zoe on the head before rolling away.

"Thanks, Boy Who Looks Like Josh Sharpe From The Back!" Blythe called after him.

"Think about it," Zoe said. "He likes to read, you like to read….Match made in heaven?"

"Give it a rest, Zoe. I barely know the kid."

"You – you don't see where this is going?"

"I see us going to the library to return some keys," Blythe said as she accelerated.

######################################

Vinnie kept his distance from the other pets as they listened to Esteban's stories of being a great hero. There was just something about that parrot that he didn't trust. Everything he said, it sounded false, like a lie he had made up for whatever reason.

He had to learn the truth.

Fortunately for him, Blythe had shown him how to work those tablet things the humans used. He just couldn't use one right now because Mrs. Twombly was using it to play music while she cleaned the shop. He hung above her, his pads sticking to the roof, as he waited for her to move off somewhere.

 _Come on, Mrs. Twombly. Go somewhere else, please!_

Mrs. Twombly picked up a feather duster and headed into the grooming area, giving him the opening he needed. He let go of the roof, landing on the counter, and made his way over to the tablet that she had left behind.

"Okay, let's see what turns up with a quick Google search," he said as he opened up the Internet browser. He went to the search engine and typed in Esteban's name.

Nothing. No results found.

"Just as I thought." He quickly closed the browser and scuttled off the counter as Mrs. Twombly came back into the room, hurrying back into Day Camp, just as Esteban was telling the other pets yet another story.

"Who wants to hear about the time I wrestled a caiman from the inside?"

"Sounds dangerous," Penny Ling oohed.

"Danger is my middle _nombre, seniorita_. And my last name. And my nickname."

"So," Vinnie said as he joined the group, "your friends call you Esteban 'Danger' Danger Banderas Danger?"

" _Si_."

"Well, 'Danger', before you enlighten us with yet another tall tale, do you think you and I can talk? In private?" Vinnie asked, pointing to a corner of the room.

Esteban flapped after Vinnie, following him to the corner. "What can I do for you, _mi amigo_?"

"You know, it's amazing what you can find when you go looking on that electric box computer tablet thingamabob that the humans use," Vinnie said bitterly. "You know what I found out about you?"

"Do tell."

"Nothing! There isn't a thing on there about you, 'Esteban', if that even is your real name!"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you made the whole thing up just to make yourself sound good!"

"Okay, you caught me," Esteban said. "I exaggerated a little bit. But my stories are still true, don't get me wrong. There's no harm in adding a little dramatic effect to real life events, is there?"

Vinnie grumbled in annoyance. "The harm is that you're lying to my friends, and you know it." He pushed his way past Esteban and over to the other pets. "Hey everyone, gather around! I have some news about your 'hero' Esteban."

"What is it, Vinnie?" Pepper asked.

Vinnie began to say something, but was cut off by Sunil suddenly screaming. "Blythe! Blythe is in trouble!"

"Trouble, you say?" Esteban asked.

"What makes you say that?" Russell wondered.

"Start from the beginning," Esteban said. "Starting with, who is this Blythe?"

"She's a friend of ours," Sunil explained. "A human who can talk to pets. She and Zoe went to return a lost item Blythe found, but I'm getting the feeling that I've sent her to the wrong place and now she's horribly lost somewhere in the city!"

"Lost?!" Minka shouted.

"We have to go look for her," Sunil said. "It's the only way to know if she and Zoe are safe."

"But where do we start?" Pepper asked.

All eyes turned to Sunil.

"Why are you all staring at me like that?"

"You can use your psychic powers to see where Blythe and Zoe are," Minka said.

"Yeah, use that voodoo hocus pocus magic thing you do," Pepper added.

Sunil was apprehensive, but figured it was worth a try. He closed his eyes and began to concentrate. Slowly, a vision came to him – it was blurry at first, but as the seconds ticked past, it became much clearer.

"What do you see?" Russell asked.

"It looks like some sort of a lion," Sunil announced. "Blythe and Zoe are going to a big lion!"

"Around Downtown City?" Russell gasped. "Where –"

"The zoo!" Esteban interrupted. " _Vamanos!_ We must save _los senioritas_ from a dangerous lion!"

The other pets hurried out the pet door.

Except for Vinnie, who stayed behind to whisper in Esteban's ear: "I'm watching you, pal."

"Good. Maybe you'll learn something."

Vinnie growled as he followed Esteban out the little pet door.

##############################

With the two stone lions out front, on either side of the staircase, the library reminded Blythe of the one in the movie _Ghostbusters_. She pulled up to the curb, bringing her scooter to a stop, just as a boy with the same red jacket as Josh's friend went through the doors.

"There he goes, Zoe!" She climbed off of the scooter, slipped Zoe into her bag, and hurried into the building. The first thing she saw was a no animals allowed sign.

"How insulting!" Zoe barked.

"You'll have to duck down so no one can see you."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Fine." She ducked deeper into the bag, out of sight of any wandering eyes.

Blythe slowly made her way down the multitude of shelves, past the readers and the tables, looking for Josh. He had to be here somewhere; his friend said he would be. But where? This place was so huge – Josh could have been anywhere!

Zoe's barking caught her attention. Blythe quickly pushed her back down into the bag before anyone got too suspicious.

She faked a cough as some people turned to her. "Frog in my throat. Sorry." She turned back to Zoe. "You almost got us caught," she hissed. "What was that all about?"

"I see him," Zoe said quietly, pointing with a paw. "Josh. Right over there."

Blythe followed her paw, saw Josh sitting at a table, reading a book. She turned away from him and adjusted her bangs before turning back –

Only to see that Josh was gone!

How had that boy disappeared in less than a second? It was unnatural.

"There he goes," Zoe whispered. "I see him."

Blythe hurried to follow him, surprised at just how quickly he could disappear like that. She found herself wondering if he was secretly some kind of ninja.

She caught up to him, just as he headed into the men's restroom.

"Well, can't follow him in there. I guess all we have to do is wait for him to come out. That shouldn't be too long."

Zoe poked her head out of the bag. "Blythe, can you be a dear and get me something to drink?" she asked with a hoarse voice. "All that yelping is doing a number on my vocal cords."

"It can't wait?"

"We either wait however long for Josh to come out of there or my singing voice goes kaput for good. Pick one."

Blythe rolled her eyes and carried Zoe over to a water fountain, letting her drink. She heard a door open and close – Josh had just left the men's room. He was heading for the exit.

"Zoe, hurry up," Blythe whispered. "He's leaving!"

Zoe licked her lips. "I'm good."

"Good. Let's go." She hurried out the door, just as Josh climbed onto a bus. "Son of a biscuit! We lost him again! Can't that boy stay in one place for more than a minute? I mean, geez. Is it too much to ask just to give him back a stinking set of keys?" She hopped onto her scooter, placed Zoe in the basket, and sped up, reaching top speed, but still unable to catch up to the bus.

#############################

The pets were amazed that they had managed to get out of the pet shop without Mrs. Twombly seeing them. They hurried as fast as they could to the city zoo, Esteban leading the way. If Blythe and Zoe really were here, if they were really in danger from the lions….None of them wanted to think about what may happen. Not even Blythe's ability to talk to animals could save them from those vicious creatures.

"I shall go in first," Esteban announced. He flew up to the gate, stopping when he noticed the sign. "No animals allowed? How insulting! And hypocritical! Why have a place where you showcase animals if you won't allow animals to be admitted? _Que curiosa._ "

"For once, I'll agree," Vinnie said. "That's like not letting fleas in at the flea market."

"Wait," Sunil called out. "I'm getting another vision. I'm seeing…it looks like some sort of a bowl."

"What kind of bowl?" Minka asked. "Cereal or ice cream?"

"The only ice cream place I know of is Scooptastic down on Grove," Penny Ling said.

"That might be where Blythe is," Pepper agreed. "It's her favorite ice cream place, after all."

"Let's go!" Russell ordered.

###############################

Blythe caught up to Josh just as he climbed off the bus at the skate park. She parked her scooter and headed inside. There must have been at least a hundred people here, maybe more, all skating or standing around talking or off to the side eating pizza and hot dogs and drinking soda.

But no sign of Josh.

She spotted him just as he rode his skateboard into the bowl. She and Zoe watched as Josh rode his board to the other side of the bowl, where he climbed off of it and headed through a set of double doors.

"What the what?"

"Looks like we'll have to skate over there if we want to catch up to him," Zoe guessed.

"Not happening," Blythe retorted. "Have you ever seen me on skates? Not a pretty site."

"It's either that or you lose him forever," Zoe said. "Pick one."

"Well, Sue did give me that crash course this morning," Blythe mused. "It can't be too hard. And how different from roller skates can a skateboard be, right?"

She soon found out.

She had borrowed a skateboard from another girl and was standing on it, staring down into the bowl, her stomach in knots, her heart in her throat. Slowly, she pushed herself off of the edge.

The two of them screamed as they careened down, faster than they'd ever moved before. Other skaters moved out of the way as they rushed towards them. Blythe closed her eyes, not wanting to see the damage that would be done to her at the end.

She slowly opened her eyes when they stopped moving.

"We're toast, right?" she asked.

"No, we're still in one piece," Zoe replied. "And look at that, right next to….There goes Josh again."

"STAY STILL!" Blythe screamed as she watched Josh skate. She followed him down into the bowl again. "Almost there…." She was slowly catching up to him.

Another skater hit her, knocking her off course. She swerved, trying to get out of the way of some more skaters, waving her arms as she tried to find her balance, screaming the whole time.

"Blythe! Stop this crazy thing! I want to get off!" Zoe howled.

She clipped another skater and fell on her face. Her nose and chest stung from the impact, but at least nothing felt broken.

Except maybe her pride.

And once again, they had lost Josh.

#####################################

"Blythe isn't here!" Penny Ling yelled.

The pets had looked all over the ice cream shop, but had seen no sign of Blythe or Zoe. Sunil was confused; he had seen a vision of bowls, and there were a lot of bowls on that counter, so how could Blythe and Zoe not be here, unless they had just left? He was starting to doubt his new psychic abilities; so far, they'd done nothing but lead him and his friends astray.

"Hey Sunil! You should try this!"

Sunil looked up, saw the other pets hungrily gorging themselves on ice cream.

"How can you think about eating ice cream when I've sent Blythe and Zoe on a wild goose chase?"

"They're chasing wild geese?" Minka asked.

"You're being way too hard on yourself, Sunil," Russell assured him. "Not all psychics are right one hundred percent. And besides, there is the possibility that they had just left."

"You must try once more, _mi amigo,_ " Esteban said from his perch. "If you give up, your friends may never forgive you, just as those Colombian villagers would never forgive me if I had given up on them."

Vinnie rolled his eyes. "Here we go again."

"Hey!" the ice cream patron screamed. "No animals allowed!"

"How insulting!" the pets screamed as they hurried out the door.

################################3

Blythe had taken a few minutes to numb the pain in her face. She used a tissue to wipe up some blood from her nose – it had started bleeding a little bit after her impact – and now, she had to continue her search for Josh, wherever he was. She doubted he had gone home – she had his keys, and one of them was probably his house key – so he wouldn't be napping, and if he were going to get a hot dog, he'd have gotten one from the vendors nearby.

She spotted him walking out the door.

"Doesn't he ever stay put?" she grumbled as she hurried out the door after him. "Josh! Josh, wait! Drat. Gone again." She hopped on her scooter and followed him as he rolled his skateboard down the street.

"Blythe, let's call it a day," Zoe said.

"I didn't follow him halfway across the city and humiliate myself in the library and the skate park just to throw in the towel now," Blythe replied. "Not when I'm so close!"

"Love," Zoe sighed. "It makes people do strange things."

"I already told you, Zoe, I'm not in love with Josh. I barely even know him. All I want to do is return his keys to him, that's it."

"If you say so."

################################

"I know where we need to go!" Sunil cried as the pets hurried down the street. "Turn around! We need to go to the park!"

################################

Blythe climbed off her scooter when she reached the park, just as Josh rolled his skateboard through the gates. She spotted the crowd as she and Zoe followed him, a crowd standing in front of the pavilion. A music band had set up on the pavilion – drums, speakers, guitarist, microphones, a DJ….

Blythe tried to push her way through the crowd as Josh climbed up onto the pavilion stage. He picked up his guitar and the band began to play.

"Just listen to that tune," Zoe said. She hopped out of Blythe's bag and ran up to the stage. "I just have to get up there!"

"Zoe!"

Zoe jumped up onto the stage, knocking down a microphone, and began to sing along with the band's music.

 _ZOE: The music's playin'_

 _It's pumpin' up the crowd_

 _The beat is in the air_

 _The party's gettin' loud_

 _And I am Zoe_

 _And I'm gonna sing it_

 _Cause I've got something to say_

Blythe hurried up to the stage, running up the stairs two at a time to get to Josh.

"Excuse me, Josh?"

"Hey," he said as he strummed his guitar, listening to Zoe sing – well, bark in his case; the entire crowd outside of Blythe heard nothing but a random dog barking into the microphone, yet they seemed to enjoy it all the same. "You're the girl from this morning. Blythe, right?"

"Yeah." She pulled his keys out of her bag. "You dropped these. I've been trying to get them back to you all day."

"Thanks. Hey, how'd you find me, anyway?" he asked as he took the keys from Blythe.

"Long story," Blythe said.

"Well, thanks," Josh replied as he hugged her, catching her by surprise. She swooned, falling off the stage and into the crowd. Josh laughed and followed her, Zoe continuing to sing the entire time.

 _ZOE: I've got a new crush!_

 _I've got a new crush!_

 _The music's in my soul, and the sound of it is givin' me a head rush!_

 _Crush! I've got a new crush!_

 _Singin' it out, pump it up_

 _Cause it's givin' me a head rush_

"Woo-hoo! Rock on, poochie!" someone in the crowd cheered.

###############################

The sound of rock music met their ears as they arrived at the park. There was a huge crowd of people near the pavilion and they also heard what sounded like a dog barking in time with the music. But where were Blythe and Zoe?

"Are you sure this is where they are, Sunil?" Russell asked.

"Absolutely," Sunil answered. "Then again, I've been wrong so many times today so I wouldn't be surprised if I'm wrong again."

"Uh, pets? Problem," Pepper announced. "The people. THE PEOPLE!"

The crowd had dispersed from the pavilion and were making their way towards the pets. To them, it was like a stampede. The pets ducked down, getting as low to the ground as they could as the people walked past them, stepping over them, some coming dangerously close to stepping on them.

"Way to go, Esteban!" Vinnie hollered at the parrot. "You told Sunil to try, and now we're about to become pet pancakes! Thanks a lot! What are you going to do now, 'Danger' Danger Danger?"

"Everyone form a chain." The pets all joined paws, latching onto Vinnie. Esteban grabbed his little gecko arm with his talons and lifted them up to a nearby tree, carefully putting them down on a large branch.

###################################

The crowd had dispersed, Josh included. Blythe was still swooning, staring after him as Zoe joined her, hopping down from the pavilion stage.

"Did you see me up there, Blythe?" she asked. "I rocked! One man even said so. I heard him say it with my own two ears. What do you think?"

"You were fantastic, Zoe," Blythe said, finally coming out of her little stupor.

"Did you find Josh?" Zoe asked.

"Yes. I gave him his keys and he gave me a hug."

"Just like in the movies and the books. So, where is he now?"

Blythe looked around at the now empty pavilion. "I don't know. We've lost him again. But we go to the same school, so I'm sure I'll see him there. Come on, Zoe, let's get out of here."

They started walking towards the exit of the park. Just as they reached the gate, they heard Sunil's voice.

"I put everyone in such danger. A real psychic would never have done that. I must be the world's worse psychic mongoose."

"Sunil, my friend," a Spanish voice said, "you can be a real psychic. All you need is a little self-confidence. Now, concentrate on trying to find where Blythe and Zoe are."

"I don't know," Sunil said. "Maybe if you all closed your eyes and concentrated it would help."

"What are you all doing up there?" Blythe asked, catching their attention. "And what's with the parrot?"

"We were looking for you," Russell said as the parrot lowered them to the ground.

"In a tree?" Zoe asked.

"It's a long story involving Sunil's psychic abilities, the zoo, and some ice cream," Minka replied.

"Do I want to know?" Blythe asked as she crossed her arms.

"Sunil helped us find you," Penny Ling answered. "He thought he had sent you to the wrong place, so we all went out looking for you and Zoe to make sure you were okay."

"Is that true, Sunil?" Blythe asked the little mongoose.

"It was nothing," Sunil said quietly. "Really."

Vinnie turned to the parrot. "Esteban, I have something to say."

"Wait, your name is Esteban?" Blythe asked the parrot.

" _Si, seniorita_ ," the parrot replied. "My owners dropped me off at Littlest Pet Shop for the day while they went out of town." He turned to Vinnie. "Before you say anything, let me confess – I am no hero. I am no legend. I never saved any village, and my middle name isn't 'Danger'. I am a good storyteller, that's all. It's what makes me special." He turned to the other pets. "So now you know my secret. Please do not spread it."

"Why would we do that?" Penny Ling asked. "Telling good stories is what makes you special – you just said so yourself. Let that make you who you are."

"Yeah," Vinnie agreed. "And besides, you are a hero, Esteban. You saved us from being trampled."

"Think nothing of it, _amigo_."

"Now that you've gotten that off of your feathery and scaly chests, how about I get you all back to the pet shop," Blythe suggested. "Mrs. Twombly's probably worried sick about you guys."

"Oh, Blythe, did you find the person you were looking for?" Pepper asked.

"Took us a while, but yeah, we found him," Blythe answered. "He's got his keys back."

They started walking down the path, Sunil hurrying to catch up to her.

"Blythe, I wanted to say I'm sorry for getting you started on this whole wild goose chase," he said.

"What are you talking about?"

"I sent you to some place where the person you were looking for never was in the first place. What kind of psychic would do that?"

"An amazing psychic!" Blythe shouted in reply. "Look over there! The corner of Maple and Main, and there's Josh, right where you said he would be. Maybe not when you said, but where you said. You're a great psychic, Sunil. You just need to work on the timing."


	8. Dumb Dumbwaiter

DUMB DUMBWAITER

IT MAY HAVE BEEN A GIRLS' DAY OUT UP HERE IN BLYTHE'S BEDROOM, BUT Pepper still had no idea what half of this stuff was for. She knew it was makeup, but other than that – there was that black stuff that Blythe had put on her eyelashes, and had done the same for Penny Ling, Zoe, and Minka; those cucumbers that Blythe had said that they were supposed to reduce the puffiness around the eyes were just a good snack for Pepper; and that strange powder that Blythe had put on her face – Pepper just ended up dumping it all over her.

Blythe had been allowed to bring them up for some time away from the male pets – she'd asked Mrs. Twombly if it was okay, and the older woman agreed; she said it gave her more time to try to sort that order of pet food that had come in the other day.

While Blythe, Zoe, Minka, and Penny Ling had been giving themselves makeovers, Pepper had simply gone to the bathroom to give herself a quick bath – Blythe's father was out on another flight, so she didn't have to worry about being seen.

She was drying herself off now, joining the other girls on Blythe's bed as Blythe ran a brush through her brown hair. Zoe licked her freshly-filed claws, as was Penny Ling. Minka was hanging from the light by her tail, two cucumbers still over her eyes.

"This day has been so fun," Penny Ling said. "No males, just us females."

"I agree," Zoe said. " _Merci boupcoup,_ Blythe."

"Yeah, this girl stuff is pretty fun," Pepper agreed as she scratched her back with a nail file.

"No problem, ladies," Blythe said. "I've had fun too."

Minka removed the cucumbers from her eyes and stared at Blythe's gold, jewel encrusted brush as the girl continued to run it through her hair. She couldn't help herself when it came to shiny objects; she just had to eye them, had to grab them.

Must have been a monkey thing.

"Blythe, that's such a pretty pretty brush! Can I have it? Please please pleasepleasePLEASE!"

"No can do, Minka, sorry," Blythe said as she pulled the brush away from Minka. "This is my lucky emergency brush. I need to hang onto this. Just in case of –"

"Hairmergency!" Zoe, Penny Ling, and Pepper sang, finishing for her.

"Exactly. You guys know me so well."

"And I know that I want that brush!" Minka screeched. She swung from her perch, trying to grab the brush, but only succeeded in flinging herself across the room, slamming into the nearby dresser.

She quickly climbed to her feet and leaped at Blythe again. Blythe held the brush above her, keeping it out of Minka's reach.

"Give give give give give give givegivegivegivegiveGIVE!"

"I can't let go of my lucky brush, Minka," Blythe said as she stood up. "Look, say I'm walking down the street, minding my own business. And then, from out of nowhere, a huge gust of wind comes and totally messes up my hair. I wouldn't even notice until I saw my reflection in a window. If I didn't have my emergency brush, I would never be able to fix that hair malfunction. There you go, bad hair day averted."

"I get it," Minka said. "So, can I keep it?"

"Nope."

"Awww."

They continued making themselves over, this time applying polish to their nails and claws. Again, all except for Pepper, though she was letting off a pleasant smell for once – her smell was usually so terrible that it kept everyone away from her, but this time, rather than smelling like rotten eggs, she smelled like a peppermint patty.

Pepper decided to try out this whole makeup thing, so she applied some orange eye shadow above her eyes. Zoe let out a startled yelp when she saw this.

"Pepper, what is that?"

"Hey, everyone has their own style, and this is mine."

"Are you sure? If you want my opinion, Pepper, I'd say your style is more wintery," Zoe said. "That eye shadow is more of a springy style."

 _More like an embarrassing style,_ she silently added.

############################

It was nice having the day camp all to themselves. The male pets could do whatever they wanted and not have to worry about the females complaining about everything or ruining their days. They could do what they want, when they wanted, with no one to tell them otherwise.

Russell was lounging around on one of the pet beds, chewing on some pet kibble. Sunil was eating some of Penny Ling's bamboo – and surprisingly, he was enjoying it. Vinnie was hanging from the obstacle course, lazily stretching his front legs.

"It doesn't get any better than this, boys," Vinnie said. "No bossy girls around to tell us what to do all day. What do you say?"

"Yup," Russell replied with a nod.

Sunil swallowed his bite of bamboo. "Yes, I agree," he said. "But I must also be honest – bossy or not, I do kind of miss the girls." The other two pets just stared at her.

"You mind explaining why?" Russell asked.

"Well, um…." Sunil stuttered. "Honestly, I really don't know why. I just know that I sort of miss them. It just seemed like the right thing to say. Like a part of me wants to be sensitive and caring. Is that so wrong?"

"Forget about that sensitive stuff, Sunil," Vinnie said. "If the girls were here, could I do this?" He let out a loud belch.

"Nope, probably not," Russell said as he tried to ignore the foul stench of Vinnie's insect-laden breath.

"This is true," Sunil agreed. "You would not be able to do that around them."

"Not without getting the evil eye, anyway," Vinnie laughed. "Boys, today's the day we do what we want to do. Today's the day for being a guy."

 _VINNIE: If you're a guy_

 _You're a pet who's the best_

 _Say so long and goodbye_

 _To those feminine pests_

 _SUNIL: If you're a guy_

 _You can spend all your time_

 _In a coat and a tie_

 _Singing lyrics that..._

"Sorry, I'm not very good with the other lyrics," he said. "Musical theater was never my strong suit."

"Moving on," Russell said.

 _RUSSELL: If you're a guy_

 _You don't need any girls_

 _Come on and let's try_

 _To do some manly dance twirls_

 _VINNIE: You can burp without fear_

 _RUSSELL: You can scratch it when it itches_

 _VINNIE: You can wiggle your rear_

 _SUNIL: In your stylish new trousers_

"What?" Vinnie asked flatly.

"I tried to tell you!" Sunil cried.

 _VINNIE AND RUSSELL: Who needs those girls_

 _They're bossy and gross_

 _SUNIL: But they smell nice!_

 _VINNIE, RUSSELL, AND SUNIL: If you're a guy You're a pet With the most!_

Sunil yawned. "So, anyone else wondering what the girls are doing?"

########################

After their makeover session, Blythe had made some popcorn and turned on a movie for them to watch. They talked over the movie, making jokes about what they saw, but before they knew it, they were out of popcorn.

"I could have sworn we'd had an entire bowl around here," Blythe said as she looked at the now-empty bowl. "Who ate all the popcorn?"

Penny Ling slowly raised a little paw.

Blythe's phone rang. She pulled it out of her purse and answered it.

"Hi Sue! What's up?"

"Um, Blythe, are you forgetting about something?" Sue asked. "The flash mob? It starts in ten minutes!"

"Oh my – I totally spaced out on that!"

"We spent three weeks planning for it!" Sue cried. "How could you have forgotten? You know what, never mind. Just get over to Oak Foods and meet us at the frozen foods section, like, NOW! We don't want a repeat of the library."

"That one was your fault," Blythe chuckled. "I'll be there soon." She turned her phone off. "Sorry, ladies, but we have to call this day short. I have somewhere I need to be." The pets all moaned in annoyance. "Don't worry. We'll do this again real soon." She put her phone back into her purse and started walking over to the dumbwaiter. "Come on; I'll drop you off downstairs. But first things first – where's my brush?"

All eyes turned to Minka, who was holding the gold brush with her tail. She let out a nervous laugh. "How'd that get there?"

Blythe took the brush from Minka. "I told you that you couldn't have this," Blythe said as she put the brush in her purse.

Her phone rang again; it was Youngmee calling this time.

"Where are you, Blythe?"

"On my way," Blythe answered.

"I hope so," Youngmee said. "Sue's invited at least fifty people, but I'm afraid it's just going to be her, me, and a bunch of frozen TV dinners! Haul your butt down here NOW!"

"Okay, okay. Geez." She hung up. "Hurry, everyone, into the dumbwaiter." She slipped her phone back into her purse.

Or rather, she tried to – it fell onto her bed without her noticing.

Penny Ling stopped to eat some popcorn that had fallen onto the floor earlier as the other girls climbed into the dumbwaiter.

"Hurry up, Penny Ling," Blythe said as she climbed into the box –

Only to have the box fall down the shaft before Penny Ling could reach it!

The rope tightened as the box came to a stop a few floors down. Penny Ling hurried to the opening; looked down at the box, stuck in the shaft. She heard her friends' screams dying down as the box became immobile.

"Is everyone alright?" she called down.

"We're fine," Blythe called up to her. "Except for one problem – WE'RE STUCK IN THE DUMBWAITER!" She pulled on the rope, trying to get the box to move; no luck. "This isn't good. I can't even begin to count the ways this could get me in trouble."

"I can," Pepper said. "First, your dad will get mad at you for getting in this contraption while he wasn't home."

"Second," Zoe added, "Mrs. Twombly will get mad at you for keeping us out of the pet shop for too long."

"Gee, thanks," Blythe said sarcastically. She reached into her purse. "Hope my phone has service in – where's my phone?"

"Are you sure you didn't leave it on your bed?" Zoe asked.

"I might have," Blythe said. "Not good." She noticed Minka out of the corner of her eye, the little monkey curled up in a fetal position.

"Space monkey, I'm a space monkey."

"Minka? Are you okay?" Blythe asked.

"She's fine," Pepper replied. "She's just telling us that she was part of the space program."

"No! I need space!" Minka yelled as she pulled on her pig tails. "Above me, below me, all around me! And I don't have that kind of space! That's bad, bad, BAD! And do you know why that's bad, bad, BAD? Because I'M A SPACE MONKEY!"

"I think she's got claustrophobia," Blythe guessed.

"Closet what now?" Pepper asked with a tilt of her head.

"Claustrophobia," Blythe repeated. "She doesn't like enclosed spaces. She's already starting to snap. Who knows how long it'll be before she goes totally bananas – no pun intended."

"Take it easy, Minks," Pepper said as Minka pounded her little monkey paws on the side of the box. "We'll be out of here before you know it. Right, Blythe?"

"Yeah, sure, of course," Blythe said. She looked up through the tiny crack on the top of the box. "Penny Ling!"

"Still here, Blythe! What do you need me to do?"

"Try pulling on the rope," Blythe called up to her. "Maybe you can pull us back up."

"Okay, I'll try. You girls just stay right there!"

"Where are we going to go?" Zoe asked quietly. Pepper snickered.

Penny Ling reached into the shaft and grabbed the rope. She leaped out, back into Blythe's room, pulling on the rope as hard as she could. She pulled against the immense weight of the box and its occupants, but the box still refused to move, no matter how hard she pulled.

She stopped to catch her breath and glanced up to the top of the shaft, to the pulley the rope went around. The rope was tangled, a massive knot tied around the pulley wheel.

"The rope's all twisted and tied up at the top!" she called down to Blythe. "I don't think I can get it untied from here!"

"Wonderful," Blythe muttered to herself. "It took two trips to bring us all up. Should have done the same going back down. Stupid me, I overloaded the dumbwaiter and got the rope tangled." She looked over at Minka, who was once again curled up on the floor, rocking back and forth, muttering her little mantra:

"Space monkey, I'm a space monkey!"

"It's okay, Blythe," Zoe said as she put a paw on Blythe's leg. "You just didn't want to be late for your splash nob. I understand."

"Flash mob," Blythe quickly corrected her. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I didn't want to be late, and because I rushed, we're stuck. Oh, the irony."

"Pardon me for interrupting," Pepper said, "but I think Minka's closettopia is getting worse."

"Her what?"

"That big word you said earlier."

"Oh." She looked back over to Minka. The little monkey was pulling on her pig tails, running around in circles, chattering "I'm a space monkey" the entire time. "I can hold off the pity me party for when – for IF – we get out of here," Blythe added. She looked up through the crack again. "Penny Ling! We need the boys' help! Go get the boys!"

"Good idea," Penny Ling called down. "No, wait, bad idea! What if your dad's come home by now?"

 _Oh yeah, he can't find out we're stuck in here,_ Blythe thought. "Penny Ling, you'll have to go out the window!"

Penny Ling climbed up onto Blythe's bed and looked out the window. It was a good eight story drop to the ground below, and the impact was sure to make a nasty stain and turn Penny Ling into a panda pancake.

"Blythe, that is a terrible idea!" Penny Ling called down to her. "And I think it would hurt – A LOT!"

"It's the only way to get downstairs without anyone seeing you," Blythe called back. "If my dad's not home yet, other tenants are bound to spot you. Oh, and don't let Mrs. Twombly suspect anything. If she knows I got Zoe, Minka, and Pepper stuck in here with me she'll flip."

"Like she did when you groomed Zoe that time?" Pepper asked.

"Don't remind me," Blythe hissed. "Minka, stop clinging to my arm. It's falling asleep."

"Space monkey, space monkey…."

"You don't want Mrs. Twombly to know anything, but if she spots Penny Ling coming in from outside, don't you think she'll get a little suspicious?" Zoe asked.

"Penny Ling can be stealthy when she has to," Blythe answered. "Look, I just don't want Mrs. Twombly to know that I put you guys in danger."

"Danger?" Pepper repeated. "WE'RE IN DANGER!" Zoe and Minka joined her in her scream.

 _Shouldn't have said that,_ Blythe thought as she rolled her eyes. _Should not have said that._

 _################################_

Sunil pulled on Russell's back legs, Vinnie on his front legs – he'd asked them to help him stretch while he lounged on the little pet bed. Despite having Day Camp all to themselves, they were becoming increasingly bored. They'd run out of things to do, and it had only been….How long _had_ it been? Even if they had any kind of sense of time, they still would have had no idea how long the female pets had been upstairs with Blythe.

"When did they say they'd be back?" Russell asked.

"I have no idea," Vinnie replied.

"Maybe we should come up with some sort of estimate if they ever do this sort of thing again," Sunil suggested.

"Yeah, sure, we'll get right on that," Vinnie said. "Ready? Pull!" They pulled.

And then they began to swing Russell.

"Hey, this wasn't what I'd asked!" Russell cried.

"Yeah, but this is more fun," Vinnie said. "Ready Sunil? One, two, three!" They threw Russell up to the roof; he stuck to the roof with his spines. "Perfect hit! Hey Sunil! High paw!"

"Gee, thanks," Russell said as he hung from the ceiling, "Hey, you think the girls are doing anything exciting?"

"Nah, probably something girly," Vinnie guessed. "Like their hair."

#############################

Penny Ling looked down to the ground below her. It seemed like it was a longer distance than she'd first thought. She hung from the windowsill, staying in the room, looking down at the sidewalk below….The very far away, very painful-looking sidewalk.

She wasn't sure if she could do this. Blythe had asked her to help the boys, and even if they were willing, Penny Ling had no idea she could get down to them this way. She didn't want to risk going through the apartments, didn't want to risk being spotted by any tenants, or Blythe's father if he were to walk through the door.

She gulped; pandas weren't made for this sort of thing! She could feel her stomach tying into knots as she slowly stood up on the windowsill, keeping one paw on the window frame to maintain her balance. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down her frazzled nerves as she prepared to make the jump.

One thing she'd started doing when nervous was to chew on some bubblegum. She'd taken this piece from Blythe's candy bowl and popped it into her mouth; began to chew.

An idea came to her, something she'd seen in a cartoon once. If she could blow a bubble big enough, it would slow her descent enough to keep her from taking any serious damage.

She chewed a few more times, and then began to blow. The bubble grew and grew, until it caught the wind, carrying the little panda off the window. She slowly floated down to the ground.

 _This just might work! I'll get the boys and we'll save the girls in no time!_

A flock of pigeons flew past her, one bird accidentally pecking the bubble with its beak, popping it. She grabbed the pigeon's legs before she could fall, pulling the bird down with her. She shifted her weight, keeping them from making a straight fall to the ground, ran along the outer wall of the pet shop, just above one of the display windows, until she lost her grip.

A flag pole stopped her from falling any farther, but still launched her back into the air. She fell back down, landing on an awning and bouncing far to the other side of the street, landing in a tree and falling in a trash can.

Penny Ling lay on what remained of the morning newspaper, trying to catch her breath.

"That was fun. I never want to do that again."

##########################

Minka continued to rock back and forth in the fetal position, muttering her little mantra. Zoe and Pepper had each retreated to a free corner, with Blythe sitting in the middle of the box. They had no idea what was taking Penny Ling so long; she should have gotten to the boys and brought them back up by now. What could she possibly be doing to take so much time?

"Space monkey space monkey space monkey space monkey…."

A foul stench filled the air – it was coming from Pepper. Everyone scrunched up their noses, trying not to breathe it in as the horrid smell filled the box.

"You must really be in a bad mood, because it STINKS in here!" Zoe barked.

"She's right, Pepper," Blythe said. "Smells like rotten….UGH! Pepper, do something about that, would you?"

"I'll try," Pepper said.

"And while you're at it," Zoe added, "work on that mess you call eye shadow."

Pepper put her face right up against Zoe's, her eyes narrowed in anger. "HEY! You got a lot of nerve, Miss Pampered Princess Puppy!"

"Pampered Princess Puppy?" She growled, baring her teeth.

"Break it up!" Blythe shouted. "This is bad enough without you two at each other's throats! So cut it out!" She pushed them away from each other. Pepper released another burst of her noxious skunk stench. "PEPPER! The smell! Fix! Now! Please!"

"Fine, Blythe, but only for you," Pepper hissed. The foul scent disappeared –

Only to be replaced with an even worse stench.

"Pepper, that's not quite what I had in mind, but hey, keep trying."

Minka started banging her head off the walls of the box. "SPACE MONKEY! SPACE MONKEY SPACE MONKEY I'M A SPACE MONKEY!"

"She's getting worse," Zoe observed. "We need to do something to take her mind off of this."

"I have an idea." Blythe reached into her purse and pulled out her gold brush. "Minka, look what I have. Tell you what, I'll let you hold onto it for a little while if you want. Does that sound good?"

Minka took the brush from Blythe's hand. "Pretty pretty emergency brush!" She held the brush close to her, stroking it, calming down almost instantaneously.

"Emergency is the key word there," Pepper huffed.

Blythe let out a frustrated sigh. "How in the world do I get myself into these messes? If I don't show up at that splash nob, Sue and Youngmee are going to flip!"

"Flash mob," the pets corrected her.

"And your owners are going to flip if you're not there when they come to pick you up," Blythe continued.

"Not exactly," Pepper said. "We could just stay in here until we're nothing but dust and bones."

"Not helping," Blythe said as she hugged her knees close to her chest. "Penny Ling, what are you doing? What's taking you so long?"

##############################

Penny Ling hurried through the little pet door, running past Mrs. Twombly as the old woman stacked her cans of pet food. She brushed against the ladder, nearly knocking it over as she hurried into the day camp.

"Boys!"

Sunil and Vinnie quickly leaped to their paws and pads; they had been lying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling – where Russell was hanging by his quills – Vinnie shooting spitballs at Russell through a straw.

"You're back!" Vinnie cheered. "Uh, I mean, 'sup."

"It's Blythe!" Penny Ling cried. "Blythe and Pepper and Minka and Zoe are trapped in the up and down box thingamabob! They need help!"

"Hello to you too, Miss Ling," Vinnie said flatly.

"So, sounds like the females need the boys to help them out of yet another jam," Russell said. "What are the chances, eh, boys?" Penny Ling turned and glared at him. "Not to worry, Penny Ling, you've come to the right place. Vinnie, Sunil, you mind getting me down?"

"In a minute," Vinnie said as he aimed another spitball.

"NOW!" Russell cried.

"Okay, fine," Vinnie said. "Sunil, would you mind doing the honors?"

Sunil took aim with his toy cobra and threw it at Russell as hard as he could. The cobra found its mark, knocking Russell off the roof. He landed right on top of Vinnie, knocking the gecko to the floor.

"Got…you…" Vinnie breathed.

"We really need to work on that dismount," Russell muttered.

"BOYS!" Penny Ling shouted. "This is no time for your little male games! The girls need your help, and they need it now! They're stuck in the up and down box, and if you don't move your little tails, they could be stuck there forever!" She opened the panel in the wall and looked up the shaft, saw the dumbwaiter box stuck five floors above her.

"No need to worry, Penny Ling," Vinnie said. "Just call on Skinny Vinnie From Papua New Guinea to save the day!"

"You're not from Papua New Guinea," Penny Ling said flatly.

"No, but it rhymes," Vinnie chuckled. Penny Ling rolled her eyes.

Sunil pushed Vinnie out of the way. "Oh please, small reptile. As Penny Ling is no doubt aware, it takes the courage of a mongoose to save any human or pet in peril."

Penny Ling just stared at him, even as Russell threw Sunil aside. "Pardon me, Mr. Nevla, but I believe hedgehogs are more intellectually superior, which means that I will quickly devise a way to rescue our damsels in distress and prevent any such catastrophes from ever happening in the future."

"Are you guys for real?" Penny Ling asked flatly.

"What are you all doing in there?"

They all turned to see Mrs. Twombly at the door.

"You might get stuck in there!"

 _We're not the ones you need to worry about,_ Penny Ling thought.

Mrs. Twombly ushered them into a medium-sized pet pen, shutting the door behind them. "I don't like doing this, but I also don't like seeing my little sweeties getting hurt," she said. "At least I know you'll be safe in here." She headed back out onto the shop floor.

"Wonderful," Penny Ling grumbled under her breath. "There has to be some way out of here." She looked at the door Mrs. Twombly had shut, noticed a latch that had been left unlocked. "That might work." She put a paw through the mesh and pushed down on the latch, moving it and opening the door. "Well, that was easy."

She led the males back out to the shop, where Mrs. Twombly was once again stacking her cans. She wouldn't be paying attention, making it easy for the pets to get outside. Penny Ling waved them on, and they followed her past Mrs. Twombly – knocking her over in the process and causing the stacked cans to fall and scatter – and out the little pet door onto the sidewalk.

"Okay." She pointed to the top window – Blythe's apartment. "Now, all we have to do is chew on some bubblegum. Then we can backflip ourselves off the wall and catapult ourselves up, then blow a bubble, then catch a ride with a pigeon, then land on the windowsill."

"As fun as that sounds," Russell said, "I think it would be easier if we go up the fire escape at the back of the building."

"There's a fire escape? That would have come in handy sooner!"

"I thought everybody knew this," Sunil said as they hurried around to the back of the building.

###############################

Zoe and Pepper were once again at each other's throats.

"That eye shadow – it's so ugly! How can you not see that?"

"Because it's ON MY EYE, you dumb dog!" Pepper shot back. "HELLO! Did your canine brain turn off or something?"

"Zoe, Pepper, you're not helping things by upsetting each other," Blythe said. She put her arm over her nose. "Because it's starting to smell like an old chewed on dog bone in here."

"Oops. Sorry," Zoe said. She reached under her beret and pulled out an old chewed on dog bone.

"Zoe Trent!" Pepper shouted. "You've been hoarding food from us?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Queen Gaudy Eyes," Zoe barked back. "I've always carried this thing under my hat in case of an emergency."

"THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!" Pepper screamed. "We've been stuck in here for weeks starving to death, and I'm pretty sure I've seen Minka eyeballing my legs!"

"Pepper, we've only been in here for about forty-five minutes," Blythe said.

"I'm a skunk, I have no sense of time," Pepper said. She shook her head. "But that's not important. What IS important is that little miss diva doggie over there has been holding out when we could all be chewing on each other because we're so hungry!"

"Well, I suppose you've got a point," Zoe said. She pushed the bone over to Pepper. "You can have it if you want."

Pepper eyed the bone. It was so beige and old and chewed on and disgusting that for a moment, she felt like she was going to throw up.

"Suddenly, I don't have much of an appetite anymore."

#############################

They had formed a pet ladder, allowing Penny Ling to open the door to Blythe's bedroom. The panel in the wall was still open, letting them see the dumbwaiter shaft and the rope. They hurried over to the shaft, Penny Ling climbing up on it and calling down.

"Blythe! Are you still there? Can you still hear me?"

"Yup, still in the exact same spot we were an hour ago, Penny Ling," Blythe called up to her. "Honestly, it's kind of hard to go anywhere when you're stuck in a three by three box."

"Good, because I brought the boys! We'll have you out of there in a little bit!"

Russell and Vinnie joined Penny Ling at the shaft. "Are you girls okay down there?" Russell called.

"Never fear," Vinnie said, "the boys are here."

"You wouldn't be here if the panda hadn't come to get you," Penny Ling grumbled. "Now listen up, here's the plan."

"But I wanted to make the plan!" Vinnie whined. Penny Ling glared at him; Vinnie knew better than to make her angry – an angry Penny Ling was a scary Penny Ling. "Okay, you can make the plan."

Sunil laughed. "You bears are so adorable when you try to be brave with your ideas and such. It's so cute."

Penny Ling stomped over to him and pressed her face against his. "Two things, Mr. Nevla," she growled. "One – I may look cute, but pandas are tougher and more dangerous than you think. Make me mad, you'll live to regret it. Two – I can get the job done, so you males just sit back and nod your heads, and the only thing I want to hear coming out of your mouths is 'Yes Ma'am'! Do you understand? DO YOU!"

Sunil nodded his head, his eyes wide with shock and fear. "Yes Ma'am."

"Good. Now, pay attention, because I'm only going over this once," Penny Ling said as she made her way back to the shaft. "Climb in there and stand on top of the up and down box thingy. We're going to force it down that shaft."

The climbed into the shaft and rode the rope down to the box, each pet taking one corner.

"What are you guys doing up there?" Blythe called from the box when Vinnie got his foot stuck in the crack.

"It was Penny's idea," Vinnie told her. "Said something about forcing the box down the shaft."

"Okay, now, when I say 'Go', we all start jumping at the same time," Penny Ling ordered. "Ready? One, two, three, GO!" They all jumped at the same time, their combined weight – which was only a grand total of maybe twenty pounds – pushed against the box, slowly forcing it down the shaft. Penny Ling could feel it coming loose with every jump, every bounce moving the rope little by little.

"It's moving!" Vinnie announced.

"Penny Ling, you're smarter than I give you credit for," Sunil complimented her.

"Shut up and keep jumping," Penny Ling ordered. "We're not finished yet."

She could feel the box moving more and more, inch by inch, until –

They began falling much faster than Penny Ling had anticipated; the rope had become unstuck!

Only now they had a new problem.

"Someone stop this crazy thing!" Russell cried.

Minka gave the brush a little kiss. "Thank you, Emergency Brush, and thank you for saving our pelts. I'm real sorry I have to do this." She wedged the brush between the box and the wall, the plastic handle warping, the metal teeth grinding and sparking against the wall as they began to slowly come to a stop, slowing to a crawl before stopping right before the pet shop.

Blythe opened the wall panel, and they all jumped out, glad to be out of that tiny space. Blythe stretched her arms and legs as she tried to get the blood flowing again. She scooped Penny Ling up for a hug as soon as the little panda and the other pets climbed off of the box.

"Thank you so much for that rescue."

"She certainly deserves the credit," Russell said. "After all, it was her plan. Heck, we wouldn't even have known you guys were stuck if she hadn't told us."

"Don't just thank Penny Ling," Pepper said. "Thank Minka, too. She stopped the box before it crashed and we all died horrible flaming deaths."

"Thanks for that image, Pepper," Blythe grumbled. She patted Minka on the head.

"All in a day's work for a couple of females, right, Minka?" Penny Ling asked with a wink.

"And an emergency brush," Minka said. "Sorry about this, Blythe."

Zoe rubbed up against Pepper. "Listen, Pepper, about what I said earlier, about the eye shadow?"

"I know – I'll go clean it off."

"I was going to say – I'm sorry for what I said about it. It's not ugly. In fact, in this light, it looks great."

"Really? Gee, thanks."

##################################

Blythe had spent the last hour and a half telling Sue and Youngmee about her time in the dumbwaiter with the pets. She had been upset that she missed the flash mob, and wanted to make it up to them, but first, she figured she owed her best friends an explanation of why she never showed up.

"So even though we weren't stuck in that dumb dumbwaiter for too long, it felt like an eternity." She flopped down on her mattress, physically and emotionally exhausted from the day.

"That sounds awful," Youngmee said. "I wish we could have helped."

"I would have called if I hadn't left my phone up here," Blythe said. "Well, now that I think about it, I probably wouldn't have gotten any service in the shaft anyway. Besides, that's what I get for overloading it. I'm just really sorry that I missed out on everything. I promise, no matter what it takes, I won't miss another splash nob – FLASH MOB, that's what I meant to say."

"Be glad you didn't," Sue said as she took her phone out of her pocket.

"Why? No one showed up?" Blythe asked as she sat up.

"No, no, people showed up, it's just, well….Look, we decided to record it, but you might not like what you see."

"Try me."

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Sue said as she started playing the video.

The first few seconds of the video showed Sue, Youngmee, and at least forty or fifty other people – young, old, teenagers and adults alike – dancing in the aisle of the grocery store. But then the camera shifted to someone who had his back facing towards the camera, someone dressed in a dark blue suit, bobbing his head along with the music coming from the radio.

Blythe laughed. "Why would I hate this? This guy's pretty funny."

"Give it a second," Youngmee said.

Blythe continued watching, her jaw dropping in embarrassed horror as her father turned around to face the camera.

"Yeah, your dad stopped by after he got back from his flight," Sue explained.

"No! No no no no no!" Blythe ran for the wall, opening the panel and climbing into the dumbwaiter.

"What in the world are you doing?" Youngmee asked.

"Sue, someone else is bound to have recorded that, meaning by now it's on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, and Instagram! I'm a laughingstock now, so if you need me, I'll be in the dumbwaiter for the next hundred or so years – or at least until I'm nothing but bones and dust."

Sue and Youngmee laughed as Blythe closed the panel.


	9. Eve of Destruction

EVE OF DISTRUCTION

"THESE NEW ROBOTIC MOUSE TOYS ARE GOING TO BE A BIG HIT WITH THE PETS!" Anna said as she arranged the toys on the shelf. She'd gotten a shipment of them in earlier this morning – a customer last week had asked for some for her cat, but Anna wasn't carrying them at the time – and had spent the last hour and a half cleaning them off and setting them on a vacant shelf.

The mice toys began to fritz out, almost as though they were protesting her spray.

"Buck up," she said as she wiped one toy down. "It's an all-natural cleaning solution."

It was her favorite, the same kind she had been using for nearly thirty years – a mixture of natural herbal juices, bleach, chlorine, and jet fuel. She'd heard that they were going to remove it from all store shelves because someone complained that it was harmful to them, but Anna didn't believe that; it was probably someone trying to make a quick buck off of a big cleaning company.

The toy mice began to roll around again. "Listen here, you – don't you sass the sass master."

"The sass master?" Blythe repeated. She'd been working on cleaning the grooming area; after Raoul groomed a rather hairy Pomeranian earlier today, he'd left quite a mess of hair.

"Well, actually, Blythe, my full title is Lake Whinnyhaha Sass Master Champion Anna Twombly," Anna said with a laugh. "And these little skitter critters need to show the master some more respect."

"They're just pet toys," Blythe said as she brushed the hair into a dustpan.

"Pet toys that need to be taught some discipline!" She began furiously squirting and scrubbing the toys.

"O…kay….I'll just finish cleaning up here and then go change the food and water bowls in Day Camp," Blythe said. She dumped the hair in the trash can and put the utensils back in the closet nearby. She watched Anna scrub a fishbowl and look at her reflection in the newly clean glass. "I think she put too much nutmeg in her oatmeal this morning," she said to Russell as he joined her.

"She's on a cleaning binge," Russell explained. "These happen once every couple of months. Makes her a little…nutty."

That seemed to be a fitting description, as Anna ran around the shop floor, scrubbing everything, humming to herself.

"Dirty, dusty, dank and musty!"

"The shop looks pretty clean already," Blythe pointed out.

"To the untrained eye, yes, LPS is as clean as a whistle," Russell agreed. "But to Mrs. Twombly, it's full of dirt that none of us can see. Fortunately, her kung fu cleaning fever only lasts for a day, so she should be back to normal by this time tomorrow." Anna ran a feather duster over him, startling him and causing him to curl up into a ball. "Cut it out!"

 _It's going to be a very long day,_ Blythe thought. She and Russell retreated to the day camp, watching from the window – along with Penny Ling – as Anna cleaned everything in sight. The counters, the windows, the floor, the walls, the ceiling, the shelves, even a footstool….She cleaned everything.

"So, you say her cleaning binge will only last a day, right?" she asked Russell.

Russell opened his mouth to reply, but Anna calling Blythe's name interrupted him.

Blythe hurried out to the shop, where Anna was cleaning a table with her hands, balancing herself while she used her feet to move a sponge so she could clean the outer wall of a shelf.

"You called, Mrs. Twombly?"

Anna handed Blythe a dirty rag. "Do me a favor and polish the dog food bowls, please? I want to be able to see my reflection in them."

Blythe ran the rag over the set of food bowls on the table, scrubbing them as hard as she could, spraying them down with Mean Green spray. She scrubbed and scrubbed until the lights shone off of them.

"Hey, Mrs. Twombly, I was wondering if I could ask you something?" Blythe asked as Anna pulled a vacuum cleaner out of the utility closet.

"Ask away." She turned the vacuum on as Blythe began to speak, drowning the girl out. "What? I can't hear you! You're going to have to speak up!" She turned the vacuum off as Blythe was waving her arms in front of the front window.

"IS IT OKAY IF I PUT SOME NEW DESIGNS IN THE DISPLAY WINDOW?"

"Blythe, you don't have to shout. I can hear you just fine, dear."

Blythe let out a nervous chuckle. "Sorry about that." She cleared her throat. "Is it okay if I do a new window display today? I made some new designs the other night."

"Great idea. It'll really make the place stand out. Now let me ask you a question – have you seen my snake scrubber?"

"The last snake I saw around here was that defanged cobra from Monday," Blythe replied. "Good thing Sunil wasn't here – that wouldn't have been pretty."

##############################

Blythe had gone upstairs to get some of her new designs for the window display. Before she climbed into the dumbwaiter – the past few days she'd made sure not to overload it so as to avoid getting stuck again – she put some of those motorized mouse toys in the day camp for the pets to play with.

Russell and Sunil were busy chasing one, trying to catch it. The little thing was faster than either of them had anticipated. They chased it around the tree, around the chair, around the fire hydrant, never being able to catch up to it.

"Is this thing mocking us?" Russell panted.

Sunil leaped onto the toy, rolling and tumbling as he climbed to his paws. He lifted the mouse up, showing Russell the wheels on the underside.

"Russell, this thing doesn't have an off button," he pointed out. "That worries me."

"You guys, I just had a crazy thought," Pepper said. "What if those toy critters are planning to replace us?" She watched as Sunil stared down at the toy, his little mongoose body shaking with fear. "See how it's staring at you with those beady little eyes? It could attack at any moment. In fact, it could attack…right…NOW!"

Sunil let out a loud, high-itched scream as he ran for the corner.

"Give me some room!" Penny Ling called as she made her way to the center of the room, dancing and twirling her ribbon. She didn't watch where she was going and landed on the mouse, sending her speeding through the room, her ribbon getting tied around her. The toy hit the wall, knocking Penny Ling off. She struggled to wiggle free of her bonds. "These steps are more complicated than I thought."

"Maybe you need a shorter ribbon," Sunil suggested.

Vinnie danced past them. "Or maybe you should leave the dancing to the pros, Penny Ling," he said as his little gecko feet moved and shuffled. He lost his balance and fell, quickly righting himself. "I meant to do that."

"What I do IS professional, Vinnie," Penny Ling said. She picked up her ribbon and began to twirl. "The ribbon dancer spins, she swirls, like fruit in a blender."

Vinnie's feet began moving again. "I'd like to see a smoothie have moves like these."

"Last I checked, they don't," Pepper said as Vinnie came to rest on his tail.

Penny Ling laughed and twirled her ribbon again. "The ribbon dance is as effortless as breathing," she said.

No sooner had the words left her mouth did her ribbon get tied around her, stopping her from breathing.

"Help!" Pepper pulled the ribbon off of her. "Thanks, Pepper."

Vinnie started bouncing on his tail. "This is dancing."

"That's pogo tailing," Pepper said flatly.

Penny Ling stood up, grabbed her ribbon, and stared Vinnie down. Vinnie stared right back. It was panda against gecko, a battle of the dancers as the two began their signature styles – tap dancing for Vinnie and ribbon dancing for Penny Ling.

Vinnie lost his footing and slammed into Penny Ling, knocking them both to the floor. "Oops. Not part of the plan," Vinnie said with a laugh.

"And that's why I don't do tap dancing," Penny Ling said as she stood up, knocking Vinnie off of her. "You lose track of your feet."

"I, for one, think you were both _magnifique_ ," a new female voice said.

The voice belonged to a tan furred Pomeranian, light blue eye shadow above her eyes, a jewel-encrusted necklace around her neck; her fur was perfectly groomed and fluffed, as was her elegantly curved tail.

"In all my travels, I've never seen such an exquisite dance act," the Pomeranian said with a crisp British accent.

"Wait, hold on, dance act?" Penny Ling repeated.

"Me and her? Yeah right," Vinnie snarled.

"It is _tres evangarde,_ " the Pomeranian said with a nod and a smile. "Masculine and feminine, hot and cold, cupcakes and oatmeal – marvelous, simply marvelous."

Zoe walked into the room through the little pet door. "Has anyone seen my squeaky hamburger? I'm afraid I may have – what's Madam Pom doing here?" she asked when she saw the Pomeranian.

"So, Zoe Trent, we meet again," the Pomeranian – Madam Pom – huffed as the two dogs walked over to each other. Zoe bared her teeth in an angry growl. "My owner is in town for some antique shopping, so she dropped me off here at Littlest Pet Shop. But fret not, dear, it's only for the day. Thank goodness for that."

"Wait a minute," Pepper said as she held up a paw. "You two know each other?"

"Unfortunately for me, yes," Zoe snarled.

"It's been such a long time, hasn't it, Zoe?" Madam Pom asked in an almost mocking tone.

"Not long enough," Zoe growled. She bared her teeth again, growling and snarling.

She thought back to the last time Zoe had met Madam Pom. It was at the prestigious Kennel Club Dog Show, and they were the only two dogs left out of the entire lineup; everyone else had been disqualified for one reason or another, be it judges' decision or for lashing out – one dog and his owner had been disqualified because they were both incredibly rude and lashed out at even the judges and the host. And at this point, Zoe and Mama Pom were the only ones left; it had been down to the wire, the final decision was set to be made.

They had been entered into the modeling portion of the show, entered into the lapdog division. They had been promised a life of fame, fortune, and enchantment, and both dogs were eagerly anticipating the judges' final decision.

Madam Pom had won by a landslide vote, even though Zoe knew that she had been chosen as the fan favorite. She wouldn't have minded the loss so much if Madam Pom hadn't rubbed it in Zoe's face afterwards, bragging about how she won and Zoe didn't, relishing in the fact that she would become a world famous dog model while Zoe remained a family pet.

It was a humiliating loss, one that Zoe had never forgotten nor would care to repeat.

"I was chosen and you were not," Madam Pom said; she too clearly had memories of that event. "Accept it."

"I've accepted the fact that you won the dog show and subsequent model contest, Pom," Zoe hissed. "But that doesn't mean you're better at modeling than I."

Pepper pushed her way between the two dogs before things could get ugly. "Ladies, please, let's all agree to disagree."

"WE DISAGREE!" Zoe and Madam Pom shouted. They turned their back to each other, each dog not wanting to face the other.

Sunil leaned in to whisper to Minka, who was hanging from the tire on the tree. "Is it just me, or did it get colder in here?"

"I think it's fine," Minka said. "Why? Do you need a jacket?"

#######################

Zoe retreated to the display window out front, not wanting to even so much as be in the same room as Madam Pom. If she were able to, she'd even be out of the building; sharing any space with that, that….Zoe didn't even want to so much as think that word, but sharing the same building with Madam Pom was just infuriating.

She watched as the people walked past, some by themselves, some with other people, a few with their pets. She watched the cars, wondering what she would do with one if she were to ever catch it. Why did dogs chase cars, anyway? Was it because they moved fast and thus made the dogs want to run after them? What were they supposed to do with the cars? They weren't bones, so there was no burying them in the backyard.

Zoe tried to think of these things in an attempt to get Madam Pom off her mind. She didn't want to remember the humiliating loss, didn't want to remember Madam Pom rubbing her victory in Zoe's face the same way her owners would when housebreaking her.

She pressed a paw up against the glass.

"Alone time. All by myself."

"You do realize you're sitting in a display case, right?" Blythe asked as she set two dog-shaped mannequins in the display next to her. A rack of her signature pet clothes was next to her.

"I feel most alone when people are watching me," Zoe said quietly.

Blythe set the mannequins on the floor and joined Zoe in the display. She gently scratched the back of Zoe's neck.

"I heard an old rival of yours is at Day Camp today," she said.

Zoe quickly stood up and turned to face her human friend. "She is evil. Evil, I tell you. Evil, evil, EVIL!"

"It's just for the day, Zoe," Blythe said as she set a dress over top of one of the mannequins. "It's not that long."

"You don't know how long a day is for a dog," Zoe replied. "A day for me is, I don't know, a month! I don't know if I can be in the same room, let alone the same building, as that mat of powdered fur for an entire dog month."

"Melodramatic, much?"

"Me, melodramatic? No, never. I merely wish for the entire universe to shrink into a tiny speck and fly away, leaving me here in all my rage and irritation." She bared her teeth and let out a tiny growl.

"Rage? Irritation?"

"IT'S A DISASTER!" Mrs. Twombly cried from the other room.

Blythe hurried to the other room, saw Mrs. Twombly collapsed on the floor, holding two empty bottles of cleaning spray, tears streaming from her eyes as she sobbed.

"What's wrong, Mrs. Twombly?"

"I've run out of Mrs. Applebottom's Omega-3 Cleaning Spray," she said quietly. She stood up and shook the bottle. There was barely a drop of cleaning solution left; it wouldn't even some out when Mrs. Twombly pulled the handle. "Oh cruel world, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!"

 _Okay, this is getting a little nuts_ , Blythe thought. "Well," she said, "at least you finished cleaning before you ran out of your special spray, right?"

"No! No no no no nonononononononononononoNO! There's dirt everywhere!" Mrs. Twombly shrieked. "The floor, the walls, the ceiling, everything is so dirty!"

Blythe looked around the shop; everything was sparkling in the light, clean as it could be – any cleaner and Mrs. Twombly would scrub them away.

Mrs. Twombly picked up two pencils from behind the counter. "They're filthy! No one can write with these. And look, there's a piece of dog hair right here! Someone could have breathed that right into their lungs, and that would not be a pleasant experience, I assure you."

Blythe sighed. "Look, Mrs. Twombly, how about I go to the store and get you some more cleaning spray? I'm sure they've got plenty of what you need."

"A generous gesture, sweet innocent Blythe, but I don't use just any old cleaning spray," Mrs. Twombly replied. "Mrs. Applebottom's Omega-3 Cleaning Spray has done me well for the last thirty years. It's mixed in a farmhouse kitchen using bamboo utensils and organic herbs. The Omega-3 is humanely extracted from the unfertilized eggs of free range chickens, educated in classical music. Yes, chickens like Beethoven. Who knew? The farmers are all certified yoga instructors – I used to go to them for classes back in my younger days, you know. The only place to get this cleaning spray is the Earth Folks' Health Club." She removed her utility belt – she'd had all her sprays, sponges, and rags attached to it – and set it behind the counter, grabbing her purse as she did. "Blythe, keep an eye on the shop."

"Don't worry about a thing, Mrs. Twombly. The shop's in good hands." She waited until Mrs. Twombly had gone out the door before going back into the day camp.

From the look of it, things had calmed down a little bit since Zoe had separated herself from the other pets – she was off in a corner now, glaring at Madam Pom. The other pets had managed to find things to keep themselves occupied – Minka was finger painting on the tree; Penny Ling and Vinnie were practicing their new dance moves; Sunil had a deck of cards out, once again practicing his psychic abilities; and Russell was curled up on one of the pet beds. Madam Pom was lying in the center of the room.

"Hey guys," Blythe said as she stepped into the room. "Mrs. Twombly had to go out for a few moments, so I'll be watching the shop for a while. If anyone needs me, I'll be working on a new window display. Just bark or hoot or yell or something."

"I could use a massage," Madam Pom said as she stood up.

"Call me if you need something important," Blythe said. "Like….I don't know, Pepper starts gnawing on Minka."

"Why would I do that?" Pepper shrieked.

"Keep your fur on, Pepper, it was just an example," Blythe chuckled. "And do me a favor – try to keep this place clean. She may have gone a little nutty, but Mrs. Twombly worked hard to get the pet shop this clean, and we don't want to ruin that for her."

Zoe took a whiff of the air and turned to Madam Pom. "There does appear to be a foul stench in the air," she said.

"Oh, so you mean that you can smell out of that thing you call a nose?" Madam Pom shot back.

"You want to repeat that, you, you….YOU MUTT!"

The entire room fell silent. Everyone knew that Zoe took pride in being a purebred, and it was clear that Madam Pom did as well. So to hear Zoe say such a thing….To either of them, calling them a mixed breed was the worst insult imaginable.

Madam Pom was visibly taken aback by what Zoe had just said. She had the gall, the NERVE, to insinuate that Madam Pom was a mix? How rude of her!

Zoe growled and leaped at Madam Pom, ready to dig her teeth into the other dog. And she would have, if Blythe hadn't caught her in mid-air.

"Zoe! Madam Pom! We don't need this! Madam Pom, stop antagonizing Zoe! I don't know your history, but if you're going to be at Littlest Pet Shop, you can leave it out of any interactions with the pets. And Zoe, stop letting her get to you so easily."

Zoe looked back at Madam Pom and bared her teeth, growling and snarling. Madam Pom just chuckled as Blythe carried Zoe out of the room.

"What was that?" Blythe asked when they got to the shop. "I've never seen you lash out like that."

"That mangy cur," Zoe huffed. "After what she did to me, she had the nerve to show her face around here. You know, I wouldn't have minded that loss to her if she didn't rub it in my face!" She took a deep breath, calming herself down. "Thank you for stopping me, Blythe. If you hadn't been there, I would have done something I'd regret for the rest of my life. And for a dog, that's a pretty long time."

Blythe bent down and patted Zoe on the head. "Just don't let her get to you, Zoe," she said. "That's exactly what she wants. You're playing right into her hands – I mean, paws."

"I know, but I couldn't help it. She just makes me so angry."

"And you called her a mutt."

"Okay, I'll admit, that might have been a little uncalled for."

"Just stay away from her until she leaves," Blythe said. "I have to get my display up. Try not to make a mess." She walked over to the window and started hanging little pet outfits on the rack.

##########################

Minka dipped her paw into the bucket of blue paint and slapped it against the canvas. She looked past the canvas to Madam Pom, who was sitting on the chair, looking rather impatient; Minka had asked if she could paint her portrait – it was Minka's very first portrait painting – and Madam Pom had agreed.

That was nearly an hour ago.

"No offense, darling, but are you finished yet?" Madam Pom asked with a yawn.

"Just put on the last bit of paint," Minka said. "Though I think I may have gotten the necklace wrong."

"Don't worry about it, Minka," Madam Pom assured her. "It's difficult for most artists – even the most experienced ones – to capture my beauty on the page."

"Beauty my tail."

All eyes turned to Zoe; Blythe had told Zoe to stay away from Madam Pom, but Zoe couldn't do that. She needed to show Madam Pom that she may have won the dog show back then, but Zoe was still the best. And Madam Pom was not going to drive Zoe's friends away from her.

Zoe turned to Minka. "Can you explain why you're painting this – other dog?" She had to force herself not to say that particular word; even just thinking it left a foul taste in her mouth.

"History repeats, Zoe," Madam Pom said from the chair. "I was once again selected as the perfect model, and you were left hung out to dry like yesterday's laundry."

Zoe turned the canvas around. The "portrait", if it could even be called that, looked like smears of paint on the paper – par for the course of Minka. The tail was brown, the body was purple, the head was blue, and there were blotches of green, red, blue, and brown all over the place.

Madam Pom let out a horrified gasp, but to Zoe, this was the funniest thing she'd seen all day. She rolled on the floor, laughing and howling.

"This is amazing, Minka. It looks exactly like her."

Madam Pom hurried over to Minka, leaping over Zoe as she did. "Is this really how you see me?"

"This is what's called 'abstract art'," Minka replied. "You have to look at it a certain way." Madam Pom huffed and stormed off to the other side of the room. "Was it something I said?"

"Don't worry about her, Minka," Zoe said as she stood up, finally finished laughing. "I think this is some of your best work."

Minka just smiled.

########################

Sunil was fast asleep on his bed when he heard Madam Pom's voice.

"Excuse me, but I do believe that it is customary for a gentleman to give up his bed for a beautiful lady who desires one."

"Oh, sure." He hopped off the bed, offering it to Madam Pom.

" _Merci boucoup_." She lay down. "You may go do as you wish now." Sunil slowly backed away.

Madam Pom felt so tired. Being in this unfamiliar place with – with HER – it was draining her of her energy. She needed the nap, and besides, even if her owner hadn't dropped her off to go shopping, it was nearing her customary nap time anyway. The humans referred to it as "One P.M.", whatever that meant.

She opened one eye, saw Vinnie and Penny Ling once again practicing their dancing. They stopped when they noticed her watching them.

"Madam Pom," Vinnie said, "for your entertainment, the new dance act of Penny Ling and Vinnie Terrio present to you a little razzle dazzle, a touch of the fleet-footed fireworks, a real thrilla in Showzilla!"

"I don't get it," Madam Pom whispered.

Penny Ling smacked a paw against her face. "What my fellow dancer means is that we've been working on our act and we want to show it to you, if that's okay."

Madam Pom nodded, and they began.

Vinnie's feet were a blur, moving so fast that Madam Pom wouldn't see them. All in stark contrast to Penny Ling's slow, gentle movements, the way she waved her silk ribbon as she spun and twirled.

She failed to watch where she was going and ran into a basket of ball toys. Russell caught the basket before it could fall.

"Careful, you guys! Blythe said we have to keep this place clean for Mrs. Twombly!"

Vinnie and Penny Ling paid him no mind as they continued their act, Vinnie now breakdancing while Penny Ling began spinning in a counter-clockwise motion. Vinnie tripped over Penny Ling's ribbon and fell into the nearby trash can.

"I'm okay! This old dog bone broke my fall." He flipped himself upright and continued his dance, even with the trash can on his head.

Zoe watched from the other side of the room, not wanting to be anywhere near Madam Pom. She was worried she'd lash out again – she was surprised she hadn't earlier when Minka was painting the other dog – and she figured staying out of the way was the best way to do so.

Blythe opened the door, catching her attention.

"Zoe, what are you doing in here?" she asked. "I told you to stay away from Madam Pom."

"I am," Zoe replied. "I'm over here, and she's over there. Believe me, I'm staying as far away from that cur as possible."

"Fine, just don't make a mess." She closed the door, not noticing the mess Vinnie and Penny Ling were making just by dancing around.

Because he had the trash can on his head, Vinnie never saw Penny Ling until he ran into her, causing her to fall and drop her ribbon. Vinnie fell backward, hitting a kibble dispenser, nearly knocking it down. He would have, too, if Russell hadn't caught it.

"SERIOUSLY! What is so difficult about keeping this place clean? You two are making a mess!" He pushed the kibble dispenser back into place.

The room began to shake as a loud rumbling noise filled the air, and soon, the room was full of pet kibble – the dispenser had malfunctioned, and the dish had overflowed.

"Everything okay back there?" Blythe called from out front.

"We're okay!" Russell called back, not wanting her to know about the mess. "Oh man. You try to keep Day Camp clean for a few hours, and what happens? It gets messy, messy, messy."

"FOOD!" Minka yelled. "Every monkey for herself!"

"Minka, hush!" Russell hissed.

His words fell on deaf ears as the other pets – excluding Zoe and himself – began to eat the kibble, filling their mouths as much as they could, some – like Minka – barely chewing before swallowing.

##################################

Anna had been all over town, looking for her spray. Wal-Mart didn't have it – then again, that store hardly ever had what she was looking for, so she didn't know why she went there – Dollar General didn't carry it, nor did the local Weis store. According to an associate manager at Weis, Mrs. Applebottom's Omega-3 Cleaning Spray had been discontinued since the company was issued a cease and desist due to a lawsuit against them; a lawsuit about their ingredients including jet fuel.

Anna couldn't believe it! Someone actually had done it! Someone had actually taken Mrs. Applebottom's Cleaning Supplies to court over one little ingredient! And because of that, it had been taken off the shelves of every store in town, both brand name and generic, including the natural herbal store she was currently in.

"I cannot believe that in this country someone would complain about Mrs. Applebottom's Cleaning Spray because of a little added jet fuel! That stuff worked so well thirty years ago! No one complained about it then!"

"Mrs. Twombly," the clerk said, "I'm afraid that you're just going to have to accept the fact that times have changed and Mrs. Applebottom's is no longer around. That lawsuit wiped them out." He held up another bottle. "But we still have Captain Matey's Key Lime and Mineral Cleaning Spray."

"HA! A cheap knockoff of the real deal. No thank you, sonny. I will take my business elsewhere." She stormed out of the store, not sure where she was going to go – she had checked practically every store in town.

That left very few options.

###########################

Most of the kibble had been cleaned up by the pets gorging themselves, but what they didn't eat, Russell was busy picking up and trying to find a spot for. As he did, Madam Pom was showing Sunil and Pepper pictures of her modeling career.

"You really look like a model in these pictures," Sunil observed as he popped some leftover kibble into his mouth.

"A professional model," Madam Pom agreed. "There's more to it than just stunning good looks, you know. A lot of hard work is involved. You have to be mentally and physically prepared for every show, no matter what." She glanced over at Zoe, who was sitting on the chair, her back to her. "I don't normally visit little pet shops like this one. I'm usually traveling all around the world because I'm booked for so many shows. In fact, next week, I have to be in Kyoto, Japan, for the biggest dog show in all of Asia." She flipped through the pictures again, each one showing her in a different pose, one a parody of the old World War Two female factory workers, and one of her dressed as a cat with a fake fish in her mouth.

"They didn't hire a cat for that one?" Russell asked. Madam Pom slammed the photo album closed. "It's a legitimate question!"

"Oh, Russell," she said as she patted him on the head. "Your modeling ignorance is so adorable." She looked over to Zoe again. "Oh, Zoe! Would you like to see some professional modeling photos?"

Zoe silently growled, resisting the urge to bark and angrily lash out at the other dog.

 _Ignore it, Zoe,_ she told herself. _She just wants to rub it in your face again. Don't play into her paws like that._

She hopped off the chair. "I don't need to see them. I'm sure your collection is impressive, but I'm doing modeling for an exciting new designer."

"Who's that?" Russell asked. "Better yet, how come I –" He was silenced by Zoe shoving her tail in his mouth.

"They're always looking for younger and fresher faces," Zoe continued. She pulled a cell phone out from under her beret. "You can see the pictures on my mobile app – it's just called 'Zoe'. I was thinking of calling it 'Zoe 101', but someone told me that name was already taken."

"You have a mobile app," Madam Pom said. "My owner made me a website. It's pretty much the same thing."

"Then I'd say it's time you and your owner got out of the Stone Age and step into the modern world of modeling," Zoe taunted.

"Would you care to repeat that, you, you – you scrawny mongrel!"

"Do you need me to speak slowly for your primitive mind to understand? I said, get out of the Stone Age and step into the modern world of modeling, MUTT."

Madam Pom growled. "I can model circles around you, you cur!"

"Is that a challenge, you, you – you word I'm not sure I should say?"

"Why? Are you afraid that you'll once again be the Number Two to my Number One?"

Zoe barked, baring her teeth in an angry snarl. "I know the perfect way to settle things between us, Pampered Princess Puppy."

"Name the time and place, Little Miss Worthless," Madam Pom sneered.

Russell put himself between the two dogs. "Well, now that we've had a nice, friendly discussion about the modeling business for dogs, can you all lend me some paws in cleaning up this place before Blythe sees it?" The two dogs continued to growl and snarl at each other while the other pets lazed about. "Okay, I'll just be over here cleaning up like a good hedgehog."

###############################

Minka pinned the last star onto the curtain; she'd wanted to get out of the day camp before things got too heated between Zoe and Madam Pom, and she figured helping Blythe set up her window display would be the best escape. She had been pinning the stars to the curtains for the last half hour, and had only just now finished.

"Nice job, Minka," Blythe complimented. "The curtain really draws attention to the window."

Minka swung down from the curtain rod she'd been hanging onto by her tail and landed on the windowsill. "No problem, Blythe. Happy to help. What's next?"

"I was thinking that we could maybe shine lights down on the mannequins," Blythe suggested.

"Who needs mannequins when you have professional models right here?" Blythe turned to see Zoe and Madam Pom approaching. "We'll model your designs, and you'll judge who does the best."

"Is this a joke?" Blythe asked.

"No," both dogs barked at the same time.

"And you're sure this is a good idea?"

"Yes."

 _I have a bad feeling about this,_ Blythe thought.

"Please say you'll do it, Blythe," Zoe pleaded.

"Yes, if only to keep this hound from hounding me," Madam Pom said. Zoe started growling at her.

Blythe snapped her fingers, getting the dogs' attention. "Break it up! Look, I'll be your judge, but only if you two promise to make this a fair, friendly, fight-free contest, and no sore losers. Whoever I pick as the winner gave me a reason to pick them. You know what that means, Zoe? It means I'm not going to be playing favorites. I could end up choosing Madam Pom as the winner over you."

"It happens every time," Madam Pom said, eliciting a snarl from Zoe.

"Hey! There will not be any of that during this contest!" Blythe yelled. "Got it?"

"Yes, Blythe," both dogs said.

"Good. Now, go get ready. You've got ten minutes."

##############################

Madam Pom was applying some mascara when Penny Ling and Vinnie joined her. She saw them approaching through the mirror as she applied the makeup.

"Madam Pom," Penny Ling said, catching her attention. "Vinnie and I were thinking – since you're in the modeling business –"

"Which is basically the same as the dancing and acting business," Vinnie added.

"And since us being a team was your idea to begin with," Penny Ling continued, "we were wondering if we were good enough to go pro?"

"Yeah, like, leave the pet shop and take our act on the road! Work together full-time. Like you."

"Well, being a professional at anything never happens overnight," Madam Pom said. "You need to work hard. You need to accept every rejection as just another step towards your goals. You need –"

"A dynamite act!" Vinnie interrupted.

"Something that will bring tears of joy and sadness at once to our audience," Penny Ling added. "Tell me what you think – we start by descending from above, like flowers just starting to bloom."

"Or better yet," Vinnie said, "we come running out on stage, wearing some sharp hats and suits, maybe even with a Chaplin cane. I do three steps, she does three steps."

"It needs birds," Madam Pom suggested. "Swans or doves."

"That sounds like a great idea," Vinnie agreed.

"Just one more thing," Penny Ling put in. "We let our movements symbolize the winds of change and we spin swirls with our ribbons to symbolize, um….I'll get back to you on that."

"Anyway, what do you think so far?" Vinnie asked Madam Pom.

"Vinnie, Penny Ling, my darlings, you've got such incredible energy and creativity," Madam Pom said. "If you want it, go for it. Reach out and grab it and never let it go! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have less than five minutes to get ready for my model off with Zoe."

##############################

Zoe paced back and forth on the windowsill, these last few minutes seeming to take hours to go past. She was so anxious to show Madam Pom up for the humiliation she bestowed upon her back then, ready to prove to the other dog that Zoe was the best, that Zoe was Number One, and no one – and no dog – could take that from her.

So why was she so nervous? It couldn't have been because Blythe was going to be the judge – Zoe had been in the fashion show that saved Littlest Pet Shop, so that couldn't have been the reason. And Blythe had told her that she wouldn't play favorites and choose Zoe over Madam Pom simply because Blythe and Zoe were friends.

 _Oh. There's only a few minutes left before show time. I've got to quell these butterflies in my stomach._

Blythe joined her at the windowsill. "Zoe, what exactly are you trying to prove with this model off?"

"I'm going to prove to her once and for all that I am the better dog model," Zoe said.

"Do you really care about that?" Blythe asked. "Or is this all because you lost some contest to her in the past? Are you turning this into a grudge match, is that it?"

"Of course I care about being a model," Zoe barked back. "Well….Sort of. Maybe. Not really. I don't know, Blythe." Blythe sat down and started petting her. "I guess I just want to be the winner."

"Need some advice on your runway walk, Zoe?" Madam Pom called as she stepped into the room. Zoe responded by growling.

"What the woof is that supposed to mean?" she barked.

"Zoe, back off," Blythe hissed.

"I just thought I would offer some friendly advice, given my experience and all," Madam Pom said sincerely. She then chuckled and added snidely: "After all, I don't want you to embarrass yourself."

 _Uh oh,_ Blythe silently gulped.

"I'll have you know," Zoe screamed, "that I have done plenty of modeling both before and after that show! In fact, if it weren't for me and the other pets, Littlest Pet Shop wouldn't be here right now! Where were you on that one, Madam Pom? Didn't see you there! I didn't see you showcasing Blythe's amazing designs! What, were you too busy getting permed while my favorite store-slash-pet day care was threatened with being closed? You are never anywhere important, never anywhere that needs you! I've watched every dog show on television, and I never saw you in any of them! Not the one for the troops, not the one to benefit that sick little boy, not one! So thank you, Miss I Only Do What Benefits Me, but I do NOT need the advice of someone like you!" She turned away, snarling and growling under her breath.

She glanced back over her shoulder, saw Madam Pom dive into a basket of dresses. She came out a few seconds later, wearing a glittery purple sash.

"Oh, I get it," Zoe snarled as she leaped off the windowsill and stormed over to Madam Pom. The two dogs were so close their snouts were touching. "You think you can just waltz in here and convince everyone you're the next best thing to Milkbone! Like you did to those poor judges at the last dog show. Well it won't work today, Little Miss Pampered!"

Madam Pom began posing. "What I have found works best is when you – SNAP! POSE! POP! BANG! And that is what the audience goes for."

Zoe huffed. "You may have won last time, but you are such an amateur." She quickly changed into a black dress with little black boots for her front paws. "Here's how it's done." She began posing. "POSE! PIZZAZZ! ZING!"

Blythe rolled her eyes as she watched the two dogs. Why couldn't Zoe just let this go? Why did she have to hold this grudge? It wasn't good for anyone.

############################

Vinnie's tap dancing routine was interrupted when he ran into a bucket of tennis balls. He looked up, only to be greeted by Russell's disapproving stare.

"Oops."

"Vinnie, aren't there any dances you can do while sitting in a chair?" Russell asked. He and Sunil began picking up the tennis balls and putting them back in the bucket. "Blythe asked us not to make a mess. I didn't think that would be such a difficult thing to ask for."

Penny Ling waltzed past, now dressed in a yellow-orange Chinese rob. Her ribbon trailed after her, draping over everything – the chair, the beds, the toys, Russell's head. Vinnie leaped over the ribbon as he continued dancing; Penny Ling spun around one of the cat scratch posts, the birdhouses, the play houses, tangling around them. Vinnie danced out onto the shop floor, throwing his hat in the direction of the shelves with the motorized mouse toys; the hat knocked the shelves down, causing the mice to scatter all over the place.

The mice rolled into the day camp. Sunil let out a startled yelp as he clung to Russell, ignoring the hedgehog's spines sticking into him.

"This must be where they take over the world and replace us! We're doomed! DOOMED!" He ran out of the room, screaming. "Gather your loved ones! The end times are nigh!"

"Sunil, they're just toys," Russell called after him.

############################

Blythe was about to start the model off when she felt one of the motorized mouse toys brush up against her foot. She bent down and picked it up.

"Hey you. What are you doing off your shelf?" She turned to the two dogs. "Zoe, Madam Pom, you two stay here and try to behave yourselves. I have to go to the back of the store for a moment. I'll be right back." She turned and headed to the back of the room.

Zoe waited until Blythe was out of earshot before turning to Madam Pom. "It. Is. On."

"Bring it, darling."

The two dogs turned to the window, facing out to the street. They began posing, intentionally bumping into each other, one trying to knock the other off balance so that the passerby only paid attention to her.

Madam Pom brushed Zoe aside.

Zoe tripped Madam Pom, causing her to stumble.

Not that the people on the other side of the window cared. They were too enthralled watching the dogs pose for the crowd. Some cheered. Some clapped. One little girl asked her mommy to buy her a puppy.

No one noticed Vinnie and Penny Ling bringing their dance out onto the shop floor, Penny Ling's ribbon getting tangled around everything.

Blythe watched, wide-eyed, at the….It wasn't a spectacle; rather, it was horrible. How had this happened? How had she let this go on? They were making a mess of everything, knocking everything off the shelves. She saw a pile of pet kibble on the floor in the day camp, saw trash cans turned over, their contents spilled out. The motorized toy mice continued racing all over the floor.

And Penny Ling's ribbon was strewn all over the place.

"What. The. WHAT!"

She saw Minka riding one of the mouse toys, spraying a tube of green paint all over the walls. She saw Russell and Sunil trying to usher the mice into a container. Pepper was trying to help clean up the mess, only to trip over Penny Ling's ribbon and run into Vinnie.

"What….What…happened…here?" Blythe asked, her voice shaking.

"It's not as bad as it looks," Russell fibbed. "Right Pepper? Sunil?"

"If you don't count the fact that we're being taken over by robotic mice toys that want to replace us organic pets, then no, it's not as bad as it looks," Sunil said.

"Remind me to ask you next time I need advice," Pepper snarked.

"Grand finale time!" Vinnie called from the upper level. He was standing on the railing, getting ready to jump.

"Vinnie! No! Don't jump!" Blythe yelled.

Too late; Vinnie took the plunge. He landed on the entwined web of Penny Ling's ribbon; the added weight pulled down more shelves, throwing everything across the room and littering the floor with debris, toys, food, everything. Vases shattered. Stools were pulled out of the floor. Zoe and Madam Pom's model off was interrupted by the curtains flapping closed.

The dust settled, revealing the extent of the damage.

It was a total mess; shattered glass and porcelain lay on the floor. Pet food was strewn about. The bolts that held the stools to the floor near the counter were embedded in the wall, the stools themselves having dented the wall, nearly punching through. Shelf wood had splintered. The toy mice had stopped moving, some because the batteries had died, at least one had been crushed under all the rubble.

Blythe stared, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, at the mess Vinnie and Penny Ling had created. How could one panda and one gecko make such a mess?

Zoe and Madam Pom pulled themselves out of the crumpled curtain. "Well," Zoe said with a sigh, "that wasn't the finish I had expected."

"Nor was it what I had envisioned," Madam Pom agreed.

The two dogs began laughing, finally agreeing on something.

"You know, Zoe, this reminds me of a show I did one time," Madam Pom said when they stopped laughing. "I was blinded by a camera flash, and that caused me to walk off the end of the stage and into a man's lap."

"Wait, what? You slipped up?" Zoe asked, stunned.

"Yes, I slipped," Madam Pom replied. "I bet that never would have happened to you, hm?

"Are you insane? You're the better model here."

"But you're the better walker. You never let something as small as a camera flash get in your way."

"Yes, but honestly, I just hate losing," Zoe said solemnly. "Oh, don't get me wrong, you're still one big diva, but I doubt even you would have held a grudge like this."

"Everyone has held at least one grudge in their lives," Madam Pom told her. "Even me."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." She sighed. "Madam Pom, listen, I'm sorry for all those horrible things I said to you earlier. That was uncalled for. I was letting my grudge get the better of me. I'm so much better than that. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Uncalled for? Zoe, dear, while some of the things you said were nasty – and believe me, even I said some things I'm not proud of – you were right about me not having a good reason for attending the USO show or the show at St. Jude's." She pulled Zoe in for a friendly nuzzle. "All is forgiven, Zoe darling."

"LOOK! AT! THIS! MESS!"

They turned to the mess in the middle of the room. Vinnie and Penny Ling were standing atop the pile, looking triumphant, while Blythe and the other pets glared at them, angry and frustrated.

The phone rang. Blythe took a deep breath, calming herself down, and answered it.

"Good afternoon, Littlest Pet Shop. We don't sell pets, we cater to them. Oh, is that right? Okay, Mrs. Twombly. See you in twenty minutes." She hung up, a look of dread on her face. "Mrs. Twombly will be here in twenty minutes and counting, and there is no way we can clean up this mess in that amount of time!"

Russell climbed up onto the mess. "Pets! Listen up! We've been in tough spots before. A few tougher, a few spottier. But if Zoe and Madam Pom can put their pasts behind them, if Vinnie and Penny Ling can bring two different styles of dance together, then we can work together and fix this mess! Friends pull through for friends. Friends do not quit on each other. Yes, I have been wrong before, as have we all, and this may just be one of those times, but maybe – just maybe – "

"Twenty minutes!" Pepper shouted. "No time for a long winded speech. We've already wasted fifteen minutes –"

"Fifteen seconds," Blythe corrected her.

"Okay, I'll shut up," Russell said. "Let's just get to work."

They salvaged what they could, Blythe borrowing her father's tool kit to put the stools back into place. She set the vases, lifted the shelves, helped Sunil put the motorized mouse toys back. Minka bagged what she could and dropped the full bags in the dumpster outside. Zoe and Madam Pom folded up the clothes and put them back in the basket. Russell and Pepper dusted. Vinnie and Penny Ling swept up the dust and piled it into a trash can.

Minka and Sunil scrubbed the walls. Madam Pom set the curtains back into place and pinned the star designs back onto them.

"Hey Vinnie," Penny Ling said as they tied the last trash bag up. "I think we make a great team, but for everyone's safety, maybe we should stick to being solo acts."

"I was just thinking the same thing," Vinnie agreed.

The door swung open; Mrs. Twombly had returned. She had a crazed look in her eyes, and her hair was messy and disheveled.

"I finally found my – my word, this place looks amazing!"

They had just barely managed to get everything cleaned up in time. The floors were spotless. The counter sparkled. The lights reflected off of the shelves and display cases.

Blythe hurried over to the counter. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Twombly. I didn't even notice this strand of hair here."

"I had no idea you were such a clean freak, Blythe," Mrs. Twombly laughed.

 _Me? A clean freak? You're one to talk,_ Blythe thought.

"Besides," Mrs. Twombly continued. "This place looks better than when I left it. Thank you for continuing to clean for me."

"Oh, uh….No problem, Mrs. Twombly. By the way, did you find your spray?"

Mrs. Twombly held up a blue spray bottle. "Yup. Ended up getting this particular bottle off of a window washer."

"You didn't steal it, did you?"

Mrs. Twombly laughed. "Of course not. He had an extra bottle and he gave it to me." She pushed her way past Blythe to the supply closet.

"Looks like Mrs. Twombly's clean fever has passed," Russel said. "Thank goodness."

A trash bag fell from the roof, sending dust flying everywhere.


	10. Books and Covers

**(SORRY FOR THIS ONE TAKING SO LONG. THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS HAVE BEEN *CRAZY* BUSY FOR ME, SO I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH TIME TO WRITE.)**

BOOKS AND COVERS

"CARRY THE ONE, DECIMAL POINT MOVES OVER BY TWO PLACES…."

The pets watched Blythe run around the day camp, refilling their water dishes and food bowls, reciting these equations to herself. Blythe had recently joined a math team called the Mathletes, and they were set to have their first practice meeting this afternoon so that they could be ready for the National Mathletes Contest later in the week.

"X equals twenty times thirty-two add five to the power of nine."

She was so busy reciting this equation to herself that she never even noticed she was giving the pets the wrong kind of food.

Pepper leaned over to whisper to Russell. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She's got a Mathletes meeting this afternoon. Knowing Blythe, she was probably up all night studying."

Vinnie gagged as he licked the food in his bowl. "Blythe! You put Zoe's moist Yum-Yum Kiblets in my bowl! If I eat that, my scales will fall off!"

"And you poured Vinnie's dried flies into my bowl," Zoe added. "You know I'm insect intolerant." Blythe quickly swapped the bowls. "Much better."

Blythe hurried out onto the shop floor, grabbing her book bag from the counter. Mrs. Twombly had been reading the morning paper. Blythe barely caught anything she said – there was something about the President's new executive orders, next week's projected heat wave, the weekend's box office hits, and the government using animals as undercover operatives.

"Sounds great I'll wait for the movie gotta go see you this afternoon!" Blythe said quickly as she ran out the door.

The pets had heard what Mrs. Twombly said about animals as undercover spies. If it was true, then any one of them could be a spy. Or any of the pets who had been dropped off for the day by their owners the past few weeks. They all shared wary glances at each other.

"Is Mrs. Twombly for real?" Vinnie asked.

"I've heard that spies are usually the ones you expect the least," Zoe said.

Minka started running from pet to pet. "Are you a spy? Are you a spy? Are you a spy?"

The door opened. A tall man walked in, a tall man dressed in a gray trench coat, a fedora hat, and thick dark sunglasses. He was carrying a pet carrier. They could hear something inside meow – a cat. The man looked around, almost as though he was being watched by someone he didn't want seeing him, before dropping the pet carrier off at the counter. He never said a word to Mrs. Twombly – who was too busy reading her newspaper to say anything – before turning and quickly heading back out the way he came.

Mrs Twombly set the pet carrier on the floor and opened the door, never taking her eyes away from the newspaper. "Good news everyone," she said in a flat, monotone voice. "We have a new Day Camper for the day. Meet Scout Carrie. Have fun."

A pair of deep blue eyes stared at them from the darkness of the pet carrier. Before they could say hello, a Siamese cat leaped out of the carrier. She jumped up onto one of the birdhouse posts, up to the top, and using her absurdly sharp claws, slashed the price tag to shreds before letting out a loud caterwaul.

"Well," Zoe said, her voice shaking, "this day just got a bit more interesting."

 **(*AUTHOR'S NOTE: YES, THE EXTRA PET IN THIS ONE IS A SIAMESE CAT. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT SIAMESE CATS START OFF AS CUTE KITTIES BUT THEN GROW INTO EVIL CREATURES?*)**

############################

Blythe, Youngmee, and fellow Mathlete Sherman walked down the halls, having changed into their yellow Mathletes T-shirts. They passed by the other students, muttering mathematical equations to themselves, trying to be prepared for the meeting in Mrs. Mondt's class later this afternoon. They needed to be ready; if they weren't, they could kiss the Matheletes team goodbye.

Blythe opened the door to Mrs. Mondt's classroom and stopped, Youngmee and Sam slamming into her.

"Blythe, why'd you stop so suddenly?" Sherman asked.

Blythe pointed to Whittany and Brittany sitting at two of the desks in the room, sour looks on the twins' faces.

"What are they doing in here?" Youngmee asked.

"We're wasting our lives way," Brittany huffed.

"They're serving their first day of a week of morning detention," Mrs. Mondt said from the front of the room. "I caught them using their phones during math class. But don't worry, they won't bother us. Will you, Whittany and Brittany?"

The twins sighed. "Whatever."

Blythe, Sherman, and Youngmee took their seats, ignoring the twins as they focused their attention on Mrs. Mondt. They watched as their teacher wrote two equations on the board.

"We'll start with two simple ones," Mrs. Mondt announced. "X2-10x+y(2-20y)=?"

Blythe began racking her brain, trying to come up with an answer as Mrs. Mondt announced the second equation.

"GM8M8/r2=M8W2r. And….BEGIN!"

The room fell silent as three pencils began scratching at paper, each Mathlete trying to figure out the equations on the board. Silent, that is, except for Whittany's voice coming from the back of the room.

"Sweaters and bracelets. Holiday discounts. Closeout."

"Uh-huh," Brittany said. "Like, fifteen."

 _I don't believe this,_ Blythe thought as she looked at her own paper. _Those two are….Oh my gosh they're right! But how?_

"What the huh? How'd they do that?" she whispered.

Mrs. Mondt's marker squeaked as she wrote a third equation on the board. "Next problem: 2-20y8/zx=M8r. Go."

Blythe heard the twins' voices before she could even begin writing.

"Scarves and neon scrunchies," Brittany muttered.

"Going out of business," Whittany added. "Third day of four day sale."

"Got it. It's twenty-three," Brittany said.

Blythe turned back to her paper and wrote the equation down, surprised to find that she had reached the exact same answer as the twins.

Something strange was going on. She had seen these two in class before; they never paid attention, they never turned in their homework, they flunked every test, and yet here they were, coming up with the exact same answers as Blythe in half the time, and using mall analogies no less! It was absurd to think that these two airheads – not to mention two of the meanest girls in school – were such mathematical geniuses when Sherman was over there at his desk, pounding his head off the table.

"Looks like Sherman's having a brain sprain," Mrs. Mondt observed. "This isn't the first time I've seen this happen to a Mathlete. It's not serious, but he won't be using that head of his to think anymore today. Hit the nurse's office, Sherman."

"Sure, Mrs. Mondt," Sherman said, his voice slurred as he slowly stood up. He walked to the door, nearly falling over due to losing his balance. "I'll…be…right…back," he muttered as he stumbled down the hall.

"Poor guy," Youngmee said. She felt Blythe pulling on the sleeve of her shirt. "What is it, Blythe?"

"You're never going to believe this," Blythe whispered. "But the Biskit Twins just aced the last couple of questions like they were nothing!"

"We can't participate without a team of three," Mrs. Mondt said, catching Blythe's attention. "If we can't find a replacement within the next couple of hours, we might have to forfeit today's match."

Blythe and Youngmee gasped. They had been working towards this for weeks; there was no way they could throw in the towel because Sherman got hit with a brain sprain!

An idea came to Blythe. She glanced to the back of the room, saw the twins starting straight ahead, unblinking. Whittany yawned. Brittany picked at her fingernails.

She raised her hand. "Mrs. Mondt," she whispered, not wanting the twins to hear her. "I have an idea. The Biskits can join us."

Mrs. Mondt laughed. "You must be joking. Whittany and Brittany? They don't have the skills to be Mathletes. I've got the test scores to prove it. Those two joining the team is about as improbable as a Megalodon still being alive. But I'm glad you've still got a sense of humor." She started writing another equation on the board.

Blythe leaned over to speak to Youngmee in private. "I'm not crazy, Youngmee. I know what I heard. They talk in some weird twin shopping code to figure out the equations in less time it takes us to write them down. We've got to get them on our team."

"But how?" Youngmee asked. "It's not like you can just ask them."

Blythe slumped down in her seat. Youngmee was right; Whittany and Brittany would never go for it. They'd much sooner make fun of Blythe than join any team with her on it.

There had to be some way to convince them.

##########################

The pets watched, nervously, as Scout continued to shred whatever paper she could get her paws on. It didn't matter what it was – newspaper, sticky notes, price tags, notebook paper, or even toilet paper; if she could get her paws on it, it fell victim to her claws, torn apart like one of Zoe's older stuffed dog toys. Shards of paper lay scattered on the floor, littering the linoleum and the carpet.

And the whole time, that cat kept her steel blue eyes on the pets.

How Mrs. Twombly didn't notice would have been questioned, had the woman not been preoccupied with her newspaper. She laughed; she must have been at the comic strip section. Scout followed her with her eyes, watching.

Waiting.

But for what?

"Anyone know why Scout's staring at Mrs. Twombly like that?" Minka asked.

"Yeah," Pepper agreed. "Why?"

"This might be a silly thought," Vinnie spoke up, "but we could, I don't know, ask Scout what she's doing and why."

"We could," Zoe said. "Or we could do like we usually do and just let our imaginations run wild." She gasped. "What if she's some sort of secret agent?"

"A secret agent?" Russell repeated.

"Yeah, a secret agent. Like you see in those spy movies. John and Clarissa had a James Bond movie on last night; maybe Scout's like someone from those films."

"Yeah, I get it," Minka said. "She was sent by some bad guys from a foreign land to spy on poor old Mrs. Twombly."

"Why would she do that?" Russell asked.

"To gather information and send it back to her superiors, of course," Zoe replied. "After all, that's what all good spies do. But don't worry. I can handle this." She climbed up the post, leaping from one stand to the next, until she had reached Scout. "Hello. I don't believe we've met. I'm Velvetpaw. Fluffy Velvetpaw."

Russell smacked a paw against his face. Was Zoe really doing this?

"Are you waiting for someone?" Zoe asked Scout. Scout didn't reply; she just stared ahead, her back turned to Zoe. "Perhaps you're waiting for someone to come with the right password? I bet I know what that is. Best in Show? Classy Coat? Westminster?" Scout never budged. Her tail twitched as she stared, unblinking, at Mrs. Twombly, who had taken her place behind the counter, her face still buried in the newspaper.

Zoe looked down to the other pets. "Velvetpaw to Spymaster General. The target is unresponsive."

 _Might as well get in on the act,_ Russell thought. He turned to Minka. "Swinger, you're up."

Minka gave him a crisp salute before climbing up the wall, using the nearby pipe as a ladder. She swung from the overhead lights until she was right over Scout and lowered herself, holding onto the light with her prehensile tail.

She lowered herself until she was right in front of Scout, blocking the cat's view of Mrs. Twombly. "Hi! Hi! Just wanted to say hi! Not trying to be sneaky or anything – just stopping by to say hi!"

Russell smacked a paw against his face. He heard Minka scream, followed by a crash as she hit the floor; her tail had lost its grip, and she fell.

"I'm okay. My spine broke my fall."

"The Swinger is down," Zoe reported. "Say again, the Swinger is down."

"Thank you, I can see that," Russell huffed. He looked back up at Scout, who hadn't moved an inch. "What is that kitty cat up to?" He heard Mrs. Twombly humming; she'd put the newspaper down long enough to sweep the floor with a broom.

An idea came to him. "I know what Scout's planning!" he gasped. "Scout's going to scare Mrs. Twombly into hating animals so much that she'll close Littlest Pet Shop for good!"

"That can only mean one thing," Penny Ling breathed.

"Scout really IS an undercover agent," Pepper said in a hurried voice. "She's working for –"

"She's working for Largest Ever Pet Shop!" Russell screamed. He looked back over to Mrs. Twombly, who had finished sweeping and had picked up her newspaper again.

They retreated to one of the grooming rooms to speak in private; they didn't want Scout to know that they were onto her. Minka peeked out from behind the curtain, saw Scout kneading the cloth on the top of the post, digging into it with her claws.

"Yup, she's still watching Mrs. Twombly," she reported.

A strange sound filled the air, a strange buzzing sound. Strangely enough, it didn't sound like a swarm of bees or other such insects, but rather, like a tiny motor.

"Scout must have some sort of secret spy device to use on Mrs. Twombly," Russell guessed.

"Yeah," Vinnie agreed. "Like a missile launcher or something."

"Or," Penny Ling spoke up, "a single pula sonic agitator ray that emits glass shattering electromagnetic pulses and has a grappling hook with laser attachment that can fire tensile wire up to seventy-five feet and capable of supporting the weight of your average pet!"

The other pets just stared at her. "What? It could happen."

"Yeah, we're going to have to go with Vinnie's idea," Pepper said. "It makes more sense."

 _Yeah, about as much sense as a walking, talking shark living with a human family,_ Penny Ling thought.

"It doesn't matter what it is," Russell said as he opened the curtain to look out at Scout. "We can't let Scout use it on Mrs. Twombly. We have to get it away from her." He closed the curtain and looked back to Zoe. "Are you ready for your mission?"

"If it's a mission for me, then I need a good code name," Zoe said. "Agent Double-Oh Five. And yes, I'm ready. Mrs. Twombly could not be in better paws, R."

Russell turned to Vinnie. "Let me guess – you want to be known as Agent Double-Oh Six and Three Eighths, right?"

"Works for me," Vinnie said. "It's easy for me to remember, too – it's my hat size."

"Quite," Russell said flatly. "Now, while Agent Double-Oh Five keeps Scout busy, Agent Double-Oh Six and Three Eighths will locate and procure Scout's spy device. Is that clear?" Neither of them were listening – Zoe was scratching her ear while Vinnie was dancing.

Russell cleared his throat, catching their attention. "Sorry, Rusty," Vinnie said. "Did you say something?"

Russell silently huffed. _Why do I bother?_

Zoe and Vinnie walked out onto the shop floor, going out through separate curtains. Scout was now on the floor near the post, her steel-blue eyes still glued to Mrs. Twombly, who still had her face buried in her newspaper. Zoe gave Vinnie a paw wave as a sign that she was ready to begin. Vinnie waved back, letting her know that he was ready as well.

Zoe calmly, casually, walked over to Scout, who seemed oblivious to the dog's presence.

"Hello again," she said. "I was just wondering, are you into fashion? Because I've got this brand new outfit and I'd like you to see it, if only to get your opinion on it." She saw Vinnie tap dance past out of the corner of her eye. "It's rather snug, but still gives me a full range of motion. Are you sure you don't want to see it?" She saw Vinnie slowly approach Scout from behind, forelegs outstretched, ready to grab whatever device the cat had on her.

"Well, since you don't want to see it, I guess I'll just describe it for you," Zoe continued as Vinnie used a pair of tweezers to pull some hair off of Scout's head. "It's got these cute little boots that are made just for a dog to walk in. I'm sure there's a cat variation as well." She saw Vinnie use a magnifying glass to get a closer look at Scout's collar. "And let's not forget how the dress makes my fur all sparkly and such."

Scout swiped at Vinnie with her claws and let out a loud meow. "Oh, uh, has anyone ever told you that you're super pretty when you're getting ready to disembowel someone?" he asked as he backed up against the wall. "DON'T DISEMBOWEL ME!"

Zoe quickly put herself between them. "So much fun chatting with you," she said quickly. "We must do it again sometime. Well, time for my friend and I to leave. Vinnie, let's go." They quickly hurried back into the grooming area, taking a moment to catch their breath. After a minute, Zoe smacked Vinnie on the head. "You were supposed to take her spy device, not a strand of hair!"

"I can't take what isn't there!" Vinnie protested. He held up the strand of hair he took off of Scout's head. "Think we can get a DNA test on this thing?"

Zoe rolled her eyes and turned to the other pets. "Well, I can say for certain that she doesn't like having her hair pulled out. That and I've met dog bowls more talkative than that cat."

"Well, Russell, what should we do now?" Sunil asked.

"Now," Russell said, "things may get a little more dangerous."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Pepper asked. "Like that superhero duck says, let's get dangerous!"

Sunil raised a paw. "I vote for not getting dangerous. Any seconds?"

################################

Blythe could hardly believe what she was about to do, asking the twins to replace Sherman on the Mathletes team. It was the most absurd idea she'd ever had, and that included making a hologram machine to hide the mess she had turned Zoe into when she first tried her hand at grooming. No matter the outcome, the twins were just going to laugh at her and continue to taunt her.

But she needed them to say yes. The team needed people as smart as them. Sure, they may not have looked it, but considering that they blazed through every problem Mrs. Mondt put on the board and they weren't even in the classroom for that reason, they had to be on the team, and Blythe had to find a way to convince them.

"Whittany, Brittany, I really need you to join the Mathletes team," she said as she and Youngmee followed the twins down the hall. The twins, as usual, had their faces buried in their phones, no doubt texting each other even though they were right next to each other.

"What's in it for us?" Whittany asked. "You know, besides the obvious answer of nothing."

"Yeah," Brittany agreed. "How are we going to benefit from this?"

"I don't know, maybe the thrill of knowing you've done something good in the name of your school?" Blythe suggested.

The twins stopped walking. They turned to face Blythe and Youngmee and, as Blythe had expected, they started laughing.

"As if," they said.

"Blythe, Blythe's friend, you've got a better chance of walking on the moon," Brittany said.

"And that," Whittany added, "is never going to happen." The two kept walking, faces once again in their phones.

Blythe hurried to follow them. "Look, I never thought I'd say this," she said. She was starting to dread the word that was about to come out of her mouth. "But you're both really sm….sma…smar….You're really bright. It's just, we heard you solving Mrs. Mondt's math problems even before we did. I don't know how you did it, but you did."

"Math? You mean those number things?" Whittany asked.

"Exactly," Youngmee said, finally speaking up. "You were talking in some weird language that we don't understand."

Brittany huffed. "That's how we talk to each other when we want to keep our conversations, like, PRIVATE!"

"Yeah, well, you came up with the right answer every time," Blythe said. "Those problems took Youngmee and I almost a minute to figure out, and you came up with the same answer as we did in ten seconds flat. Face it, girls, whether you like it or not, you're math geniuses, and the team could really use someone of your caliber."

"You take that back!" Whittany snapped.

"How can we convince you?" Blythe pleaded. "Isn't there any way to get you to join our team? Please. I'll do anything short of dressing up as a clown and dancing down the halls."

"You're just planting ideas in their heads," Youngmee warned.

The twins looked at each other, a sly gleam in their eyes, before they turned back to Blythe. "There are a couple of things you can do," Brittany said.

"First, you can stop calling us, like, smart people," Whittany said. "Someone might hear you. We have a reputation to uphold, you know."

"Easy enough," Blythe said. "What's the other thing?"

"Get Mrs. Mondt to rescind our detention," Brittany said.

"And just how, exactly, are we supposed to do that?" Youngmee asked. "It's not like we can just ask her and she'll say yes. We need to have a good reason."

"Uh, Youngmee, I think I have an idea," Blythe said. "It's crazy, but if the twins agree to join the team, it'll be worth it."

"Blythe, I'm not sure I want to know what you're thinking right now," Youngmee said as she backed up.

"So it's a deal then?" Brittany asked.

"Yeah, it's a deal," Blythe said.

"Whoopdee-doo," the twins said flatly as they walked down the halls.

"Blythe, what are you planning?" Youngmee hissed when the twins were out of earshot. Instead of answering, Blythe turned and hurried down the hall. "Blythe, where are you going?"

"To talk to Mrs. Mondt," Blythe called back. "I have to hold up my end of the deal, after all."

###########################

The pets had taken to hiding throughout the shop, watching as Scout kept her cat eyes on Mrs. Twombly. Whatever spy device she had on her, they had to get it. They had to keep her from using it. Mrs. Twombly's very safety depended on it.

Russell hid under a table. Pepper hid in an empty fish bowl. Sunil hid in a bin of pet kibble. Minka hid in a birdhouse. Vinnie had squeezed himself into a hamster's water bottle.

They were about to make their move when Mrs. Twombly spoke up.

"Good news, sweeties," she called out. "It's afternoon snack time."

Scout kept her eyes on Mrs. Twombly as the older woman made her way to the cabinet. Her steel blue eyes seemed to bore their way into Mrs. Twombly's soul as she stared at her, glaring at the back of her head. Her claws extended; she was preparing to make her move.

Russell chattered, the signal for Minka to make her move.

Minka leaped out of the birdhouse, just as Scout leaped off of the post. The two collided in the air, throwing Scout off course and sending her flying into the wall, while Minka slammed into the floor, her skull rattling from the impact. Scout flipped around as she fell, gracefully landing on her feet.

She slowly began stalking her way over to Mrs. Twombly.

Russell turned to Pepper. The skunk struggled to get out of the fishbowl – it was much smaller than she'd expected – but she managed to get herself free before Scout could attack Mrs. Twombly. She hurried over, placing herself between the two of them.

Skunk and cat stared each other down for a few seconds – a few seconds that seemed like an eternity. Scout tried to move past Pepper; Pepper moved to intercept. Scout tried to jump over Pepper; Pepper caught her and dragged her back to the floor. Scout tried to move past Pepper again, only to quickly move the other way, causing Pepper to trip over her own paws.

Pepper leaped up onto the counter, claws outstretched, ready to dig them into Mrs. Twombly's flesh –

And she would have if Mrs. Twombly didn't move off to answer the phone.

 _Saved by the ringtone,_ Russell thought as he wiped some sweat from his forehead.

"Good afternoon, Littlest Pet Shop. We don't sell pets, we cater to them. Hello? Hello, is anyone there?"

She never saw Vinnie holding her cell phone.

##############################

Blythe had spent the last forty-five minutes standing in front of Mrs. Mondt, trying to convince her to allow the Biskit Twins to join the Mathletes. Youngmee stood back, aghast that Blythe would even think of talking to their teacher. She knew how Mrs. Mondt felt about the Biskits – teachers weren't allowed to play favorites, but Mrs. Mondt shared the dislike most of the students had for the twins. So why would Blythe even think about talking to her about this?

"And that is why, under state and federal law, detention can be considered cruel and unusual punishment," Blythe stated.

Youngmee rolled her eyes. This was coming from the girl who had never even been suspended before. Heck, the last time she came in tardy, the teacher gave the class a day off so they could have a "mental break".

"And therefore," Blythe continued, "you should release the Biskits out of detention and allow them to join the Mathletes. Thank you, I rest my case."

"I must say, Blythe, that was quite the speech," Mrs. Mondt said. "I'm recommending you for the debate team. Setting that aside, can't you tell that Whittany and Brittany are fooling you into thinking they're good at math so it will let them off the hook?"

"I'd…considered it," Blythe said sheepishly.

"Well, you can consider forgetting it," Mrs. Mondt said sternly. "Unless you have something else you want to say?"

"Mrs. Mondt, I am so sure that the twins are math geniuses, that if I'm wrong…." Her voice trailed off.

 _This is going where I think it's going, isn't it?_ Youngmee thought.

Blythe took a deep breath. "If I'm wrong, I'll serve their detention for them."

"Blythe, are you CRAZY!" Youngmee shouted.

"You're kidding," Mrs. Mondt said. "You're kidding, right?" Blythe just looked at her, a serious look on the young girl's face. "Oh my gosh, you're not kidding."

"No, I am not. By my estimate, they each still have four days of detention left. If I'm wrong about them, then I will gladly serve all eight days."

"Blythe, think about what you're doing!" Youngmee pleaded. "Eight days of detention! Not even the Biskits are deserving of that!"

"I've made up my mind," Blythe said sternly. "I'm willing to take that risk."

Mrs. Mondt let out a heavy sigh. "If you're serious about this, then I have no choice but to relent. The twins are free to join the team for today's meet. Blythe, don't you DARE make me regret this."

 _I'm more worried about ME regretting this_ , Blythe whimpered quietly.

###########################

The twins sat outside the classroom, their faces in their phones once again, reading the texts that they were sending to each other. Most of the other students called them weird and dumb for texting each other, but what did they know? Whittany and Brittany had things that they wanted to keep private, and none of the other students – nor any of the teachers – needed to know what they were talking about.

They looked up as Blythe and Youngmee came out of the room.

"Good news, girls," Blythe said cheerily. "You're out of detention. You can join the team. But Mrs. Mondt said just for today."

"One day is, like, enough for us," Brittany said.

"Yeah," Whittany agreed.

Blythe handed them two bright yellow t-shirts, the same shirts she and Youngmee were currently wearing; each one had an image of a body builder lifting a heavy weight ironed into it.

"Here are you new shirts, teammates."

Whittany raised a hand. "I have, like, a thing that you ask. Is there some way we can get out of detention and NOT join your silly little club? Because I would not be caught, like, not living in that…THING."

"No!" Blythe cried. "We had an agreement, and I'll be darned if either of you back out of it. The only way you're getting out of this deal is if you get incredibly sick or you're in a funeral home, and honestly, I'd rather you be sick. So you are going to suck it up, put on these shirts, and meet us in the auditorium in two hours for the Mathletes competition, whether you like it or not. You got that?"

Brittany sighed. "Whatever. It was worth a try, Whittany."

"No doubt, Brittany."

The twins begrudgingly took the shirts from Blythe and went to the restroom to change.

Youngmee turned to Blythe. "You know Mrs. Mondt's right, the twins are just playing you like a fiddle."

"Maybe," Blythe said. "But if I'm right and they help us win this afternoon, then it will be worth it."

"And if you're wrong?"

"Then I'll see Mrs. Mondt in the morning for my first ever day of detention."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down; the pressure was beginning to build. Everything was riding on how well the twins would perform this afternoon.

###############################

Anna had swapped her newspaper out for a Sudoku book. The only problem was, she was never very good at Sudoku – she preferred normal crossword puzzles. The numbers were all over the place, and none of them were in the squares – some were on the margins of the page, some were on the top, the bottom, everywhere but where they needed to be.

"I could put the two right here, but then that means that the seven can't go there!" She furiously erased her previous work. "Oh, Sudoku, I hate you! But I love you! But I hate you too! But I still love you too."

Russell used the tube of a paper towel roll to monitor Scout as she slowly stalked over the counters towards Mrs. Twombly. So far, all their attempts to stop that cat had ended in failure. The most that the pets could do was watch her and react from there.

Russell watched as Scout slowly made her way over the countertop.

"She's on the move!" he announced. "Special Distraction Agent, you're up!"

Sunil leaped up onto the counter and began wooping and hollering like he was in a Bruce Lee movie, even doing some strange little kung fu moves. Scout was not impressed; she just stared at him with those metallic, unblinking eyes.

"Face it, you felonious feline," Sunil said. "You cannot defeat the martial arts skilled of ancient magic." Scout turned around and pushed him with the tip of her tail, knocking him over. "I stand thoroughly corrected."

Pepper hopped up onto the counter, her tail pointed at Scout. "A battle of the tails, toots. Draw!" Scout stepped to the side, avoiding Pepper's stink spray. "Hey! That's not fair!" She dodged again. "Stand still, you jumping bean!" She chased Scout off of the counter and into a corner. "Gotcha now, cat! Now just hold still. This won't hurt a bit." She prepared to fire her stink spray.

Nothing happened. "Uh oh. Out of stink."

Scout leaped over Pepper, bouncing off of the skunk's head as she did. She walked back over to the counter, only to be intercepted by Zoe.

"You've done well against everyone else, Scout," Zoe said. "But they were mere amateurs. Nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING, can prepare you for THE DIVA!" She began to pose as though she were on a fashion runway.

Scout tilted her head to the side, confused. Just what was this dog trying to do?

Scout rolled her eyes and casually walked past Zoe, who was so busy posing she never noticed.

"Hey!" Zoe cried after a moment. "That's cheating!"

Scout hopped back up onto the counter and started stalking her way over to Mrs. Twombly. Nothing could get in her way now.

Except for that string toy.

Scout pounced at the toy, hopping off the counter to chase after it. She wanted that toy, she wanted to grab that toy, to dig her claws into that toy. She followed the toy, pouncing after it, landing on it before it went behind another counter. Someone or something pulled on it, keeping her from taking it.

Russell had hooked the string toy up to a fishing line and was using that to lure Scout away from Mrs. Twombly. He pulled on the rod, reeling the string toy back as hard as he could, trying to get it out of Scout's tight grip. Minka and Vinnie grabbed onto him, holding him and helping to pull him back.

Russell lost his grip on the fishing rod, and they all fell back against the wall, letting Scout take the toy. At least she was distracted and not going after Mrs. Twombly for a while.

#############################

The meet was about to start, and Whittany and Brittany were nowhere to be seen. It had been at least three hours since Blythe gave them the shirts to wear, so what was taking them so long? What were they doing, taking pictures of themselves with their phones while looking in the mirrors? They should have been here by now. Instead, it was just Blythe and Youngmee, sitting across from the four students of Midtown City's Mathletes team.

A marker board had been set up between the two tables, with Mrs. Mondt manning the markers. She looked at her watch, then up at the nearby clock, Blythe following her gaze. The match was going to start in less than five minutes.

Where were the twins?

"Blythe, we need at least three team members to compete," Mrs. Mondt reminded her. "With only two, we'll lose by default."

 _Tell me something I don't know,_ Blythe thought nervously. She beamed as Whittany came walking up to the stage. "There you are, Whittany," she said. "Hey, where's your sister?"

"The shirt made her itch," Whittany explained. "She has, like, a bad reaction to whatever that polyester stuff is, so she's still in the bathroom. It gave her a really bad rash, and it's, like, so embarrassing. You wouldn't happen to have any skin cream, would you?"

"No!" Blythe snapped. "You can worry about getting skin cream for Brittany later! We have a Mathlete meet right now! So you get your butt up there and help us win!"

"Yeah, no."

"You want to run that by me again?"

"I said, no. I am not doing it."

"We agreed."

"What we agreed on was that both me and my sister do this," Whittany said. "Without Brittany, I'm, like, not doing it."

Blythe grabbed Whittany's arm and dragged her to the stage. "One of you is good enough. Now come on!"

"I can't do this without Brittany!" Whittany protested. "So you can forget it!"

"Pretend you and I are sisters and you'll get through this." She released Whittany's arm, finally realizing what she had just said. "I have no idea where that came from."

"At least we can agree on something."

"Just get up there."

#############################

The pets had huddled in a circle, trying to come up with a new plan to stop Scout. So far, everything they'd tried hadn't worked, either because Scout was too smart for them, or because the plan had backfired. And that string toy wasn't going to keep Scout occupied for long. They needed a new plan.

And they needed it now.

"This is fun," Minka cheered. "What's our next plan, Russell?"

"We'd better come up with something fast," Sunil said. "Sooner or later, Scout's going to try to get at Mrs. Twombly."

"I'm sorry, everyone, but I'm all out of ideas," Russell said. "I've tried everything I can think of, and now I can't think of anything else."

Zoe howled in shock. "Look!"

They all turned to see Scout, her claws out, her fangs bared, as she glared at Mrs. Twombly, who was rooting for something in the cupboards. Her tail twitched. Her shoulders arched.

She pounced.

Vinnie quickly climbed up the post Scout was on and grabbed her by the tail, stopping her, the other pets leaping onto Scout, holding her down and dragging them to the floor.

Scout crawled out from under the pile of pets. "Alright, I've had enough," she hissed. "Does someone mind explaining why you've been getting in my way all day?"

"We know what you're up to, SPY," Russell said. "We've been trying to save Mrs. Twombly from your vicious attack!"

"You're not going to make her close Littlest Pet Shop," Vinnie added.

"Yeah," Pepper put in. "So you can report back to your bosses at the Largest Ever Pet Shop and tell them to forget about it! Mission failed! End of story! So long, bye bye! See you later."

Scout stared at them for a moment, before she burst out laughing. "Oh my goodness, is that what this is about?" She laughed even harder. "My oh my, talk about jumping to conclusions. I don't want to attack Mrs. Twombly. She seems like such a nice old lady; why would I want to hurt someone like her? If I'm going to hurt anything, it's going to be that newspaper she has."

"Seriously?" Vinnie asked. "What's so special about a piece of paper?"

"Nothing, really," Scout replied. "I just love to shred paper. It's a form of relaxation for me. Think of it as meditation."

Russell rubbed his chin. "Now that you mention it, I did notice you doing that once or twice during the day."

"But – but – but – she looks so suspicious!" Pepper countered. "Being all quiet and sneaky and stare-y."

"Don't forget suspicious-y," Minka put in.

"I can't help it, it's what I do," Scout said. "After all, I AM a Siamese cat. Looking suspicious is in my nature."

The pets all laughed nervously, feeling totally foolish.

"If you had simply asked me what I was doing instead of whatever it was that you were doing, we could have avoided all of this."

The pets were rendered silent, realizing that Scout was correct.

#############################

"L=2*PI5k4/15*h3c2*A*T4=2*PI5k4/15*h3c2{16*PI*G2}"

"Okay," Mrs. Mondt announced as she finished writing the equation on the board. "We're down to our last equation. First one to answer correctly wins."

The Midtown City team huddled together, whispering amongst themselves. Blythe and Youngmee couldn't even think anymore; the entire time, they had been doing all the work while Whittany sat by herself, either checking her phone or picking at her fingernails. Their brains were fried; they could barely think any more.

Blythe took a big drink of water, lubricating her dry tongue and esophagus. She was so exhausted, physically and mentally. She knew Youngmee was feeling the same way – she'd earlier complained of feeling a brain sprain coming on – and with Whittany sitting over there, not helping, they had fallen so far behind that even if they managed to get this question right, they were going to lose.

Blythe was going to have to meet Mrs. Mondt in detention for a week!

She and Youngmee glared at Whittany, who was sitting back in her chair, her legs propped up on the table, running a file over her fingernails. She hadn't even opened her mouth to speak the entire time she was here, except to complain about how bored she was.

Maybe Blythe was just as much to blame as Whittany for their poor performance. If she had bothered to check to make sure they weren't allergic to polyester – but then again, who was allergic to a piece of fabric? – they might not be doing so poorly with both the twins here, but then again, the twins might not have bothered to show up anyway. She banged her head on the table, her frustration growing by the second. It was taking everything she had not to scream in anger, and more than once during this competition, she'd wanted to smack Whittany just to get her to say or do ANYTHING.

"Whittany," she growled. "You haven't done anything to help us. You haven't figured out one equation, and you haven't even said what two plus two is!"

"That's, like, six."

"No, it's four, but that's not the point. The point is, you agreed to this, so step up to the plate and help us, for crying out loud!"

"Let me remind you, Blythe Baxter," Whittany said. "The agreement was that my sister and I both participate in this and you get us out of detention whether we win or lose. And without my sister here, I don't see why I should partake in this stupid game."

"Math isn't a game!"

"Maybe you should have thought about that before giving my sister a shirt she was allergic to. I can't play this stupid game of yours without Brittany."

"Why?" Youngmee whined.

"Yeah, you mind explaining that?" Blythe agreed.

Whittany huffed. "I don't know how it works. I take one of these silly little questions, replace the numbers with clothes, and Brittany figures out the rest."

Blythe smacked her hand against her forehead. "Well, that explains why you do so poorly on tests. Since you can't work together –"

"Like, bingo."

"Ten seconds to go, Mathletes," Mrs. Mondt announced.

Blythe got on her knees, her hands held together. "Whittany, please, I'm begging you. You're our only hope. At least try. Please. I promise, I'll never ask you for another favor as long as I live."

Whittany rolled her eyes and sighed. "Fine, I'll, like, try." She looked at the equation. "Three little black dresses discontinued but still for sale in that vintage place down on Claremont, and two pairs of wedge platforms with those glittery straps and a buy one get one half-off deal."

"Time's up!" Mrs. Mondt called. "Downtown City, what is your answer?"

"A down-ski parka with faux fur trim?" Whittany asked.

Blythe and Youngmee smacked their heads against the table. Whittany had just ruined their one chance at getting even one equation right.

"Not even close," Mrs. Mondt said flatly. "Midtown City?"

"3x+y2."

"That is correct," Mrs. Mondt said. "Congratulations, Midtown City. You have won today's Mathletes meet."

"Well, I'm glad this is over," Whittany said as she stood up from the table. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go shopping to calm myself down. I'm never doing anything like this ever again!"

Blythe raised herself from the table and looked over at Mrs. Mondt. "I guess you were right about the Biskits," she said. "I'll see you in the morning, Mrs. Mondt."

"You might as well add me in as well, Mrs. Mondt," Youngmee said. "This was a team effort, after all."

"Some team we turned out to be," Blythe muttered. "My whole blew up in my face."

"No argument there," Youngmee agreed.

The two were silent for a few seconds before they started laughing.

#################################

The sun was just starting to set by the time Blythe made it back to Littlest Pet Shop. She yawned and stretched, ready to get some sleep, but not before she checked on the pets. Their owners were going to show up any minute, and she wanted to see them one last time for the day.

She pushed the door open and was met by the sight of eight pets ripping various pieces of paper to shreds.

"What the huh? I'm almost afraid to ask."

"Blythe, meet Scout," Zoe said, pointing to a small Siamese cat sitting nearby, whose claws were furiously tearing apart a piece of scrap paper. "We've had quite a day."

 _You and me both,_ Blythe thought.

"To make a long and incredibly hilarious story short," Zoe continued, "we thought she was one thing but turns out that we were completely wrong."

"Been there, done that," Blythe said.

She spotted Mrs. Twombly coming down the stairs from the top floor. "Blythe, I finished reading today's paper if you want to give it to the pets. They seem to love ripping it apart."

"I've noticed," Blythe said as she took the paper from Mrs. Twombly. "Wait a minute….Have you been reading the _National Enquirer?_ "

"Yup. That paper's such a hoot. You know, they had an article in there today about pets being used as government spies."

"You DO realize that this is the same paper that said that aliens sank the _Titanic_ , right?"

"I know, but it's just so much fun to read."

The pets started laughing. "That explains a lot," Russell said. "We heard Mrs. Twombly say that pets were being used as spies, but she was just reading that out of a joke paper. Go figure."

"So, you all thought that I was a spy, did you?" Scout asked slyly.

"I know. Ridiculous, ain't it?" Vinnie asked.

They all turned to the door as Scout's owner walked into the shop, still wearing that same long trench coat and hat and glasses as he was earlier. He looked around, before setting Scout's pet carrier on the floor and opening the door, beckoning her inside.

"Then again," Scout said as she made her way to the carrier, "maybe you were right all along. But you will never know for sure." She climbed into the pet carrier, leaving the rest of the pets dumbfounded.


	11. So You Skink You Can Dance

**(*FUN FACT: THIS WAS THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE SHOW I EVER SAW. *)**

SO YOU SKINK YOU CAN DANCE

THE MONSTER TRUDGED THROUGH THE CITY, CRUSHING CARS AND TRUCKS beneath its massive feet. Its loud roars shattered windows, each heavy footfall shattered the concrete. People scattered like cockroaches, no more than ants to the monster. Its roars could be heard for miles.

The military had been called in to stop the monster, but everything they tried had failed. Their bullets did little more than tickle the monster's thick hide; the tank shells barely felt like a bee sting. The helicopters were the equivalent of annoying flies to the monster, nothing a flick of the tongue and a few bites couldn't solve.

Nothing was safe from the monster's rampage.

################################

Vinnie sat in front of the television, transfixed by what he was seeing. Monster movies were so much fun to watch – all the destruction, the monster or monsters tearing everything up and beating each other like they were pro wrestlers. He loved watching the cities crumble beneath the monsters and watching the people running away in terror.

The only thing he liked more was being able to hear it. The volume was so low that he could barely hear the people screaming and the monster roaring. Now if only he could find the remote.

He was expecting it to be in its normal spot, right next to the television on the wheely-cart thing. But it wasn't there; at least, not that he could see.

The remote control for the television was gone!

"Where is it?" he asked frantically as he ran around the day camp, turning over beds and pillows, looking under and in kibble bowls. He looked in the fire hydrant, the exercise tubes, the tree, but the remote was nowhere to be found. "What have you all done with it? WHERE IS THE REMOTE CONTROL!"

Blythe had come into the room just as Vinnie had begun his little tirade. "What's his problem?" she asked.

Sunil latched onto her leg, trying to get as far away from Vinnie as he could. "Happens every week. Someone walks off with the remote control for the TV. Vinnie gets upset if he can't hear his favorite monster movie or watch his favorite show."

"What show? You mean _Shake-A-Leg_?" Blythe asked. "I'll be honest, I don't really care for it all that much."

"Hush!" Sunil shouted. "Never, never, EVER EVER EVER let Vinnie hear you say that! He thinks it's the best reality show dance competition on TV."

Pepper dropped the remote next to Vinnie and cowered, covering her head with her front paws and tail. "HereitisVinnieI'msorryIforgotIhadit!" she said hurriedly.

Vinnie picked up the remote, turned up the volume, and changed the channel. Everyone slowly came out of hiding and observed the mess Vinnie had made – kibble was strewn everywhere, bowls were shattered, water leaked from several bottles, the exercise tubes were busted, the arm chair was torn, the fire hydrant had been broken in two, the tree was missing several limbs and its tire was flattened, beds were torn apart and left their fluff all over the place, and yet there Vinnie was, ignoring the mess he made just because he wanted the remote control.

"Don't make me plead and don't make me beg," the announcer said, "what's the name of the show?"

" _Shake-A-Leg_!" Vinnie cheered along with the television audience.

"Okay, let me get this straight," Blythe said as she started to clean up. "You guys go through this every week?"

"Pretty much," Sunil answered. "It's sort of a ritual."

"Yeah, and it leaves us with a huge mess," Pepper said. She started eating some of the kibble on the floor. "But you can't argue with free kibble. Am I right, Minka?"

"Kibble kibble kibble kibble kibble," Minka cheered as she threw pieces of pet kibble into her mouth.

"Not to be a bother to anyone," Zoe said as she hung from the roof, "but could somebody kindly help me down?"

Minka swallowed the food in her mouth. "Coming right up!" She hopped up what was left of the tree, leaped, and latched onto Zoe, pulling her down from the roof. "There we go. Wish we had a trampoline. That would be fun."

Russell cleaned some kibble and bed fluff off of his fur and out of his quills. "Okay, that's it. This madness with the remote has to stop. That thing needs a permanent home. Mrs. Twombly always has to clean up after that crazed gecko because he goes on a rampage every week at seven! Six central."

"Um, you guys are aware of DVR, right?" Blythe asked. "Record it. That way, Vinnie will never miss an episode. Besides, it's on DVD. If a gecko can learn how to work a TV remote, I'm sure he can learn how to work a DVD player. Right, Vinnie?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say," Vinnie said as he danced along with the people on the television, clearly not listening.

"Yeah, we would," Pepper said. "But there's a problem."

"It doesn't work?" Blythe asked. "I think I can get Jasper to help fix it."

"No, it works just fine," Pepper replied. "It's just that a certain hedgehog filled its memory with every episode of _The Duchess of Lancashire Lane_. Why not something cool, like _Game of Thrones_ or _Transformers Prime_?"

"Those shows are way too violent," Russell protested. "Besides, DLL is the classic tale of a young duchess and her trials and tribulations on Lancashire Lane." He then added, in a fake British accent: "I'll naught have it deleted."

Vinnie let out a loud scream, startling Russell and forcing him to roll into a ball. "What is that guy's deal? Is there even a brain in that head of his? When he does his four-in-one, he needs to do a three-eighths turn, not one-quarter! For crying out loud, I thought everyone knew this!"

An idea came to Blythe, something she hadn't even considered until just now. She remembered earlier her father telling her something about going across country, and she knew exactly what to do. She knew that she had to get Vinnie to come along, knew that he would not want to miss out on this opportunity.

"Hey Vinnie." Vinnie put up a pad, silencing her. "Uh, what?"

"Three, two, one, and….Commercial." He turned to Blythe. "You say something?"

"Well, the other pets were just telling me that you really like this show."

"Are you kidding? I don't just like it. This show is my life. It's the reason Benjamin Franklin invented television in the first place."

"I think you got your inventors mixed up there, Vinnie."

"I do?"

"Not important. Anyway, sometimes my dad can take me along on his trips, as long as it's not during school and he's not going to be away for a week or more. And I know that next week he's going to Los Angeles."

"Yeah, cool, say hi to Tara Strong and David Kaye if you happen to see them, commercial's almost done. Show comes back in thirty seconds."

"Vinnie, how would you like to come with me and my dad to Los Angeles and see a taping of _Shake-A-Leg_? Live. On location. In Hollywood."

Vinnie fell silent. His bulbous gecko eyes remained glued to the television. His forelegs fell slack.

And then he let out a scream so loud and so high-pitched it rattled the windows and Zoe's eardrums.

He began happily bouncing around the room, chanting: "I'm going to Hollywood! I'm going to Hollywood!"

"I guess there are two things that set him off," Russell said flatly as everyone moved to get out of Vinnie's way…again.

##################################

Three days later, Blythe was on the plane, ready to go to Los Angeles. She had a window seat, allowing her to see outside or let some sunlight in while she read her book – anything to help her ignore the balding man seated next to her. She'd put Vinnie in a pet carrier, which was now situated under the seat in front of her. She was about to put in her iPod and listen to some music – she was in the mood for Skillet – when she heard Vinnie calling out to her.

"Are we there yet?"

"We haven't even left the airport yet," Blythe replied, keeping her voice down so no one else could hear her. "Just relax."

Just then, Roger's voice came over the PA system. "This is your pilot, Rockin' Roger speaking. We'll be boogying right out of here in two shakes of a fish's tail….Just as soon as our toilet paper supplies have been refilled." Blythe cringed; couldn't he have made another announcement, like he was waiting on his copilot or something? "Could be worse," Roger continued. "Last month they didn't put enough gas in the plane. How do you manage to pull that one off? It's, like, Number Two on the 'Ready To Leave' checklist, right after your keys."

Blythe smacked her hand against her forehead. _Really, Dad? Do you say this on every flight?_

"I can't wait," Vinnie said from inside his pet carrier. "Can you believe that we're going to go see a live taping of _Shake-A-Leg_?"

Blythe got down on the floor and reached a hand into the little crate, making it look like she was petting him. "That can't be the only thing you want to do," she said quietly. "Visit Hollywood Boulevard? Learn how to surf? Go swimming with some sharks?"

"No, no, and definitely no," Vinnie replied. "Just my show – that's all that matters!"

Blythe rolled her eyes.

####################################

It took them a while, but they had finally finished cleaning up the mess that Vinnie had made. Everything had been put back where it was supposed to be, all the kibble had been cleaned up, and Mrs. Twombly had fixed the armchair again – last time was when Penny Ling nearly ripped it in half during a fit of rage – and that would have been the end of it, had Russell not insisted that they spend every minute the last three days looking to make sure that everything was exactly the way it was before Vinnie's rampage.

Minka hopped down from the tree. "I've got it! I know how we can solve our remote control problem!"

"How's that, Minka?" Sunil asked.

"Well," Minka said, "I figured we're always losing it, so maybe we should always keep it in a place where we'll always know where it is, and no one – and by no one, I mean Vinnie – will destroy Day Camp looking for it."

"Great idea," Penny Ling said. "But just one question: Where are we going to keep it?"

"Follow me," Minka said as she hurried out the little pet door leading onto the shop floor. The other pets followed close behind her. She pointed up to one of the air vents, pointing to a small black object wedged between the blades.

The remote control.

"Not a bad idea, Minka," Russell said. "Just one question."

"And just one answer."

"How, pray tell, are we supposed to USE the remote when we can't reach it!"

"One step ahead of you, Mr. Needlemouse," Minka said. She climbed up a nearby table, leaped off of it, jumped off of a shelf, off of one of the rails of the upper level, swung off the chandelier, and pulled the remote out of the vent. "See? What'd I –" The air vent opened, the sudden gust pushing her off before she could finish her sentence.

#################################

The four hour flight was over, and Blythe and Roger had taken some time to stretch their legs before going to the television studio. It wasn't that far of a walk from Hollywood Boulevard, and was situated on a lot encompassing around five thousand square feet. The parking lot was filled with cars belonging to staff, crew, and viewers who had paid hundreds of dollars for tickets – the show wasn't even supposed to start filming for another six hours.

The building itself was tall in the center with a wide base. Two satellite antennae and a radio tower were built onto the roof. The main colors were beige and peach, and they made the building look like it was wearing one of those striped uniforms people in prison wore back during the 1920's. A large billboard was hanging off of the front, showing two dancing people with the words "SHAKE-A-LEG" underneath. Come tonight, the sign would be lit up, the lights glowing for miles.

Blythe, Roger, and Vinnie were part of a small group of tourists who had come for the live taping. So far they'd seen the judges' seats, the audience bleachers, and the main stage.

"Now that we've gotten a look at the set," the tour guide said, "let's shake-a-leg – see what I did there – to the parking lot. There you can see the oil stains left by some of the dancers' cars."

 _So enthusiastic about a stain on the ground,_ Blythe said as she cradled Vinnie in her arms. She moved with the group, not wanting to get left behind.

"I can't believe we're actually here, Blythe," Vinnie said, stopping her. He spotted some of the dancers stretching out their arms, legs, and backs, getting ready for this evening. "Look! There's Igor Tokamanov, and Igor Posakov! And Igor Kokolov!"

"Back up a minute," Blythe said as she followed Vinnie's pads as he pointed to the three tall, handsome men scattered around the stage. "Do you mean to tell me that all the dancers are named Igor Something-Or-Other?"

"Of course not," Vinnie said as he pointed to two exceptionally beautiful women. "There's Karina Tamalov, and Karina Mishnev, and Karina Ivanov – don't see her around anywhere. I've been watching these guys dance since my first molt. And now here they are, in person, standing right in front of me!"

"They're so graceful and lithe," Blythe pointed out. "Kind of makes you wonder how they maintain their composure with all these cameras pointing at them."

"These guys are professionals," Vinnie said as he leaped out of Blythe's arms. "They're so focused on what they're doing that they don't even notice the cameras. Not everyone's as camera shy as you are, Blythe."

How true that statement was. If Blythe so much as saw a camera, be it a simple Kodak or a video camera, she froze up. There was just something about knowing that either now or sometime later on down the line, at least one person was going to be seeing her on film. It didn't exactly terrify her, but it did make her feel incredibly self-conscious when she really had no reason to feel that way. Ironic, considering that when she was younger, Blythe always wanted to be on television.

"For them," Vinnie continued, "it's all about the dancing."

"Yeah, I'd like to get past my camera shyness," Blythe said, "but I don't see it happening any time soon."

"Not me," Vinnie replied. "I'd go on TV in a heartbeat just to have a chance to dance with these living legends. Blythe, thank you so much. I may not be on TV, but just being here to watch my idols in person means the world to me."

"What are friends for? Now let's make your dreams even better and go get some autographs!"

######################################

Pepper came bouncing into the room, holding a small stool in her tail.

"I've got it!" she exclaimed.

"I am afraid to ask exactly what you have got," Sunil said.

Pepper flipped the stool over her head and planted it on the ground. She brushed the fur and dust off of the top with a paw. "Introducing the Peppermatic 2000 Version 4.0 Beta! Whenever looking for your remote control, you'll always be able to find it on the Pepermatic 2000 Version 4.0 Beta! That'll be forty-nine ninety-nine, plus tax."

"I'll take three," Penny Ling spoke up.

Pepper chuckled. "I was joking about the price. I'm not trying to sell this thing. I'm using it to solve our constantly losing-the-remote-followed-by-Vinnie-losing-his-temper problem. Let's demonstrate. I need a guinea pig. Russell, would you mind?"

"What are you trying to insinuate?" Russell asked. "That just because I'm a hedgehog I'm related to a guinea pig?"

"No, Rusty," Pepper said with a laugh. "I'm asking you to be our Vinnie for a few moments."

Russell rolled his eyes. "Oh, okay."

"Here's your motivation," Pepper said. "Your favorite show is on. You want to watch it, but you can't change the channel because you can't find the remote. _Duchess of Lancashire Lane_ comes on in less than thirty seconds and it's a brand new episode. You have ten seconds to find the remote. And…GO!"

Russell was off in a flash, racing around the room, knocking things over, throwing toys everywhere, disorganizing beds and pillows – not exactly like Vinnie's outbursts, but it was close enough for a demonstration; after all, Russell didn't want to ruin the hard work they'd done fixing the day camp up after Vinnie's last outburst the other day.

He turned to the stool Pepper had brought, saw the remote sitting on top. He ran over to the stool and grabbed the remote in his paws; pulled as hard as he could.

The remote wouldn't budge. He pulled and pulled as hard as he could, using all of his hedgehog strength, but only succeeded in tiring himself out.

Russell collapsed to the floor, breathing heavily. Pepper stood over him, laughing.

"I glued it to the stool," she said as she laughed. "We'll never lose this thing now."

Russell slowly climbed to his paws and tried to pull the remote off the stool again, glaring at Pepper the entire time.

"Pepper, there's no way we can use it now, either!" he cried.

Pepper's eyes went wide. "Ooh, I hadn't thought of that. Anyone know how we can remove a remote that's been superglued to a stool?"

Russell smacked a paw against his forehead.

#####################################

Blythe was surprised at how kind and friendly all the dancers and the staff were. She was expecting them to be more jerkish, only caring about how good they looked on television and how much money they were getting from the studio. Instead, they treated Blythe with the same respect they would a friend of theirs, even though she didn't even know anyone's names until Vinnie had pointed them out. The three Igors never spoke down to her and one of them – she forgot which one; a slight problem when everyone has the same first name – continually called her Miss Blythe, and the three Karinas – the third one had just come out of her dressing room – were so kind that Blythe was a little taken aback.

She was now carrying a stack of signed pictures from all six of the dancers. She shook hands with one of the Karinas before heading back over to Vinnie, who was waiting impatiently by one of the stage lights.

"Wow," he breathed as he took the photos from Blythe. "I can't believe you got them all, Blythe."

"It wasn't easy," Blythe said. "When everyone's got the same first name, it's hard to tell who's who."

"Who cares? You got me autographs from every dancer on the show! This is a dream come true! How can this day get any better?"

"I don't know," Blythe said coyly. "Maybe by meeting…THE JUDGES!"

Vinnie's already huge eyes got even bigger with surprise. He started hyperventilating with excitement. He looked around, spotting the judges' table nearby.

"Oh my good gecko gosh!"

"Go dance for them," Blythe suggested. "If they like you, maybe they'll put you on TV as a guest dancer or something."

"You think so?"

"It's worth a shot. I can't stand being in front of cameras, but you don't have any problem with that. Come on, just try it. This is your big chance to show the world just how great of a dancer Vinnie Terrio really is."

Vinnie's eyes narrowed in determination as he turned to the judges. He held his pictures out to Blythe. "Hold my autographs." The second the pictures left his pads, he strutted his way over to the judges' table. He climbed to the top of the table.

Vinnie being there surprised the judges; two of them simply stared at him, the third one spit his coffee out, hitting the other judge in the face.

"And….What, exactly, do we have here?" one of the judges asked.

Vinnie took a deep breath, calming him down from the excitement, and began to dance. The judges watched in both amazement and confusion as Vinnie moved, his feet almost a blue as he twisted and spun his body. He struck one final pose, kneeling down and with his arms outstretched, waiting for their critique.

"Okay, I'll be honest with you," the female judge said. "That was totally disjointed and lacked any sort of emotion. Probably because you're just a lizard."

"The problem is," one of the male judges added, "the actual routine was awful. He waddled out like some duckling who had just hatched."

"Look, little fella," the third judge – the other male judge – said. "You can't just wave your arms around like you're someone's pet bird. Whoever trained you needs to start over."

"No, this pet lizard just needs to go back to whatever pet shop he came from. This is a show for humans, not animals."

Vinnie was heartbroken. He was expecting them to praise him, but instead, they ridiculed him, gave him a negative critique. How could they? They were supposed to be impressed; they were supposed to like him; they were supposed to give him a spot on the show! Instead of seeing a talented gecko, all they saw was a regular gecko.

His tiny lizard heart was shattered. It had been his dream to be on this show, to dance alongside his idols, his icons, to be a star and show the world that a gecko could be just as talented as a human being.

And now his dreams had been shattered.

Now his dreams had been destroyed.

He slowly walked away from the table, tears filling his eyes, not caring that he had fallen to the floor, not caring that Blythe was still wearing that pretty smile of hers or holding his souvenirs. He felt like he had no more reason to live.

"How'd it go?" Blythe asked. Her smile faded when she saw Vinnie's downtrodden face.

"They think I'm just a trained pet," Vinnie said quietly. "What was I thinking, trying to impress them? No one's going to take a GECKO seriously as a dancer."

"Wow, Vinnie. I – I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I planted that idea into your head."

"No, Blythe. I had wanted to do this since I started watching this show. But now…." His voice trailed off.

Blythe was about to say something when Roger came running up to her, dressed in a shirt and hat and carrying flags bearing the show's logo.

"This is the best trip ever!" he laughed. "Why didn't I think of this before? I'm gonna go get some more posters. You want one, Blythe?"

"No thanks, Dad," Blythe said. "I think my walls are already full."

"Suit yourself, more for me." He ran off, giggling with glee the entire time.

Blythe turned to Vinnie, but Vinnie was gone! She looked around, barely managing to see him exit out of one of the back doors and into an alleyway.

She felt so sorry for him. Sorry, and guilty. If she hadn't asked him to come out here, if she hadn't told him to dance for the judges, he wouldn't be so upset. He would still be his normal self, laughing and smiling and just being the lovable goofball she knew him as. But the way he was acting now….It worried her. It scared her. She was afraid he was losing the will to live, and in an alley like that, in a city as large as this one – one nearly five times the size of Downtown City – who knew what sort of trouble he was going to get himself into.

####################################

The pets had spent the last few hours racking their brains, trying to figure out how to keep the remote in plain sight so Vinnie didn't have another outburst when he came back. They'd managed to get the remote unstuck from the stool – it wasn't easy, and they nearly broke the remote with that screwdriver – and now the room had gone silent as everyone had gone off by themselves to think.

Penny Ling sat on the arm chair, tapping a paw against her chin.

"Can we put a leash on the remote?" she asked. "We wouldn't lose it that way."

"The remote isn't a dog, Penny Ling," Minka said. "Besides, you can't walk a remote. It doesn't have legs."

"Minka's right," Pepper put in. "You really need to think these things through."

 _I didn't hear anyone else coming up with any ideas,_ Penny Ling thought.

"Are you still on about this remote control business?" Zoe asked. She had been in the fire hydrant, chewing on one of her toys. "Well, you need not worry any longer, for Zoe has already taken care of it."

"Huh?"

"It was so simple, actually," Zoe continued. "Since Vinnie has a fit every time his favorite show is on, I simply got rid of the TV."

The other pets stared at her, their eyes wide, their jaws dropped. "What?" Zoe asked when she saw their faces.

"Zoe, what did you do?" Russell asked. Sunil screamed and fell back, fainting in shock.

"It was on that little rolling cart thing, so I just wheeled it out the door and out of sight," Zoe answered.

"Zoe, think about this for a minute," Russell said. "Vinnie goes ape when he can't find the remote, right? What do you think will happen if he can't find the TELEVISION!"

"Oh, well, I, uh….Oh, wow, I hadn't thought of that." Russell chattered in annoyance. "I'll be right back; gonna go get the TV." She sidled away, a worried look on her face, silently scolding herself for being so foolish.

###################################

Vinnie had come back into the building, and was now sitting against the wall, a trash can nearby. He was looking at his signed photographs, wondering if they were even worth it anymore now that he had been ridiculed by the judges. He sobbed as he stared down at the six pictures, before dropping them in the trash can.

"There you are, Vinnie." He looked up, saw Blythe standing in the doorway, a glittery blue dress draped over one arm. "You mind telling me why you're throwing your autographed photos away?"

"I'm done dancing," Vinnie said softly. "I always thought it was what I was meant to do. It always gave me so much pleasure. But let's face reality, Blythe. I'm an animal, not a dancer. So, uh, what's with the outfit?"

"Bought it in the gift shop. I was thinking I could use it as a base to make you a dance outfit of your own. Who knows – maybe those judges will take you more seriously if you look the part."

A stage hand walked past, shadowed by the dancers. "First up is Igor Pokamanov and Karina Ivanav. Then Igor Poskov and Karina Mishnev. And then Igor Komakalov and Karina Tartarov."

One of the Igors spoke up. "I'm supposed to dance with Karina Mishnev."

One of the Karinas spoke up. "And I must dance with Igor Komakalov."

Another of the Igors spoke up. "If you dance with him, then who am I going to be dancing with?"

"You're supposed to be dancing with Karina Tartarov," one of the Karinas said.

 _Someone didn't read the schedule,_ Blythe thought as she watched the scene unfold.

"Wait a minute," the stagehand said. She flipped through the papers on her clipboard. "Oh shoot, I forgot that Karina Tartarov is on vacation." The other dancers moaned in annoyance; one of the Igors smacked a hand against his forehead. "We'll figure something out, folks, we're on in less than ten seconds."

Blythe heard the announcer's voice come over the speakers. "Ladies and gentlemen, don't make me plead and don't make me beg, what's the name of the show?"

"Wow. Sounds like a full house out there," Blythe said.

The stagehand turned to her. "You. Your name Karina?"

"No, it's Blythe."

"Close enough. Get that costume on now, you're our third dancer."

"Wait, hold on, you've got the wrong girl! I don't dance!"

"You do now. Hair and makeup!"

Blythe turned to Vinnie as two more stagehands approached. "Vinnie, you have to help me! I can't go out there I front of…CAMERAS!"

"Didn't you tell me you always wanted to be on TV? At least one of us can live their dreams tonight." He turned and walked towards the door, just as the stagehands forcibly escorted Blythe to the dressing rooms.

#################################

It had just stared to rain. But the rain didn't bother Vinnie; he was still feeling upset about what happened earlier. He felt as though nothing could cheer him up. Not here, and not back at Day Camp. It didn't matter if he was watching his favorite monster movies, or if he was just spending time with his best friend Sunil. His dreams had been destroyed; how could he ever be happy again?

####################################

The other pets had gone out to help Zoe get the television back, leaving Russell alone to think of a way to keep Vinnie from going nuts again. He'd even considered building a second Littlest Pet Shop across the street to hide from Vinnie when _Shake-A-Leg_ came on.

"We got the TV back," Minka announced as the other pets came through the door, wheeling the television along with them.

"Great!" He plugged the television into the wall and turned it on, only to be greeted with a screen he'd never seen before. " 'Enter date and time'?" He picked up the remote and studied the buttons, but all he knew was how to change the channel and the volume. "Does anyone know how to program a TV?"

"I do not, but I think Mrs. Twombly did it last time," Sunil said.

"Guys," Penny Ling said, her voice cracking as tears of fear formed in her eyes. "If we can't program the TV, then, then – THEN VINNIE'S GOING TO DESTROY LITTLEST PET SHOP AND WE'LL NEVER HAVE PEACE IN OUR LIVES AGAIN!"

Russell looked at the remote in his paws again. It didn't seem too difficult; he'd seen how Mrs. Twombly did it. All he had to do now was remember exactly HOW she did it.

#######################################

The rain seemed to fit Vinnie's mood perfectly. He had been walking down the street for what felt like hours, wallowing in his own self-pity, lamenting the fact that he no longer considered himself a dancer, not after what happened back at the studio. He didn't care that the people on the street stared at him, he didn't care that the cars passing by on the road splashed him with water.

Nothing mattered to him anymore.

"I'm no dancer," he muttered to himself. "I'm a fraud. A pet lizard. That's all I am. That's all I'll ever be."

"Yo. Dude." Vinnie turned around; spotted another lizard standing nearby, under a plastic folding sign. This lizard was dressed in a small orange jacket with a matching cap and wore a pair of sunglasses over his eyes. "You say you're a dancer, dude?"

Vinnie shook his head. "No. Not anymore. I mean, I used to be, but –"

"Dude, anyone can be a dancer," the lizard said. "Name's L-Zard. You wanna be a dancer, dude? Then you come with me."

Vinnie followed L-Zard into a nearby alleyway. The first thing he saw was a slew of other lizards, each one a different species – gecko, iguana, skink – and each one dancing. Some were break dancing, some were tap dancing, but all Vinnie saw was lizards with talent. Lizards that reminded him of himself, before he made this trip.

"Wow," he breathed. "What is this place, L-Zard?"

"We call it The Docks, dude. It's somewhere for us lizards to just be ourselves, you know." He whistled. "Yo! Lizards! Gather round!" The other lizards stopped what they were doing and joined them. "Vinnie, meet Foggie, Lazy Susan, Fish Sauce, DVGB, Bearded Lady, Lemonface, Tap Dancer, and Skink-a-Dink."

"'sup," Vinnie said sheepishly.

"Yo, Vinnie," Lemonface said, "ya got moves? Show 'em, bro."

"I, uh, I don't think I really know any moves," Vinnie said quietly. "I think my dancing days are pretty much over."

There was a collective gasp from all the other lizards. "Over?" Bearded Lady repeated. "Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, a lizard's dancing days end when a lizard's days end. Your dancing days are nowhere near over, pal. Lemme tell ya, dancin' is in a lizard's blood."

"Not this lizard," Vinnie replied. "Not anymore."

L-Zard put a foreleg around Vinnie's shoulders. "Your mouth might be sayin' that," he said, "but what is your heart saying?"

"I don't know anymore. I danced for the judges of _Shake-A-Leg_ , but they said that I was just a talented pet who didn't belong on a show for humans."

"The heck do they know?" L-Zard asked. "They don't know real dancing." He snapped his pads together. "Kick it, boys and girls!"

Bearded Lady pressed the Play button on a nearby radio, and the music started up again. Vinnie watched in awe as they all moved gracefully in their own style of dancing, whether it be break dancing or tap dancing. Watching them move like that, he could feel his own spirits rising. He could feel his angst fading away, felt the joy of dance flow through him once more.

And before he knew it, he too was dancing along, shuffling his feet, spinning on his tail.

For the first time since arriving in this city, for the first time since he was given that negative criticism, Vinnie felt alive. Being here, dancing with his fellow lizards….It was his calling, he knew that much was true.

Vinnie couldn't remember the last time he had laughed, couldn't remember the last time he had had so much fun. Even as he tripped over his tail and landed on his face, he was laughing the entire time.

This was the best night of his life.

"Vinnie, dude, how can you say dancing is behind you with moves like that? Them judges, they don't know nothing, dude. If they knew true talent, you would crush that dance show."

"The dance….OH NO!"

Vinnie had been so busy wallowing in his own self-pity that he had completely forgotten about Blythe!

####################################

It didn't matter that she was in a beautiful dress. It didn't matter that her hair had been done up in a beehive bun. It didn't matter that there were three pounds of makeup on her face. All that mattered to Blythe was that there were cameras out there, filming at this very moment, with millions of people watching at home. Even if that weren't the case, there were thousands of people in the audience – including her own father! She didn't mind going out in front of a crowd, but add cameras into the mix and Blythe became a nervous wreck.

She collapsed against the wall, out of sight of the crowd – and more importantly, out of sight of the cameras. Her breath was coming in short bursts.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't go out there, in front of a crowd, in front of those cameras, and dance. She wasn't a dancer, and even if she was, she was going to be dancing with a complete stranger. She didn't care how handsome he was; she knew nothing about the man save for his name being Igor Something-Or-Other.

She hyperventilated, trying to slow her breaths down, trying to stay calm despite the cold sweat on her forehead and her entire body starting to go numb with fear.

 _Vinnie, where are you?_

 _#########################################_

"I can't believe how badly I messed this up!"

Vinnie was pacing back and forth, his worry for Blythe growing with every step he took. He knew how much she hated being in front of cameras – even a Kodak camera made her lock up in fright – and how much she didn't like to dance, and he had just left her alone, ignore her when she called out for his help.

"Blythe needs me, but I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. She's never going to talk to me again!"

"Calm your scales, dude, we'll get you back to the studio on time," L-Zard said. "Then you can help your human friend and show them judges what real dancin' is."

Vinnie turned to look down the alley in the direction L-Zard had brought him. The studio was only a few blocks away, an easy jog if he were a tall human. But for a small lizard….He had no idea how long it would take him, and he didn't know any shortcuts. These other lizards might, and if they did, he had to take advantage of that. He had to get to the studio, and fast. If he didn't….

If he didn't, Blythe would look like a fool on national television. The thousands of people in the audience and the millions watching at home would see her, would ridicule her, and though he didn't know much of human reputations, he knew that Blythe would never be able to show her face at her school again if that were to happen.

"I've got to get to that studio," Vinnie said. "I've got my confidence back thanks to you guys, but right now, my friend Blythe needs me."

"Then why are we just standin' around?" L-Zard asked. "Let's boogie!"

Vinnie followed them, hurrying as fast as he could out of the alley, around the corner, down the street, and after several long minutes, they arrived at the back door of the television studio.

"Wow. That didn't take as long as I thought," Vinnie said breathlessly. "L-Zard, everyone, thank you so much. I got my confidence back. Now I've got to help Blythe get hers." He started walking for the door.

"Knock 'em dead, dude," L-Zard said silently as Vinnie stepped through the door.

###################################

"I can't do this," Blythe said breathlessly as she breathed into a brown paper bag. "I can't go out there. I'll be a laughingstock – on national television!" She glanced over at the door, waiting for it to open, waiting to see Vinnie on the other side, coming to her rescue.

The door remained closed, even though she thought she'd heard it open just a moment ago.

But that exit sign sure was tempting.

She looked around, making sure no one could see her, before running for the door as fast as she could – it wasn't easy in this long dress. She pushed the door open, only to be met by the stagehand.

"There you are. Ready to strut your stuff?"

"I'm ready to get out of here," Blythe whimpered.

"Good, because you're up next."

"WHAT? NO!"

"Sorry, Missy. You're on in five minutes, so I suggest you get ready." The stagehand walked past, leaving Blythe where she was, her jaw hanging open in shock.

She only snapped out of her stupor when she felt someone tugging on the skirt of her dress. That someone was Vinnie.

"Vinnie! You came back!"

"Blythe, I'm sorry," Vinnie said. "You needed me, and I ignored you. I just – what's with the hair and the dress?"

"Apparently, I'm substituting for one of the dancers," Blythe said. "They practically forced this onto me. Vinnie, those are real cameras out there! Even if I weren't camera shy, I don't know the first thing about dancing!"

"Leave that to me," Vinnie said. "When are you on?"

"Two minutes and counting."

"Okay, here's what we'll do."

####################################

She was even more nervous now than she was earlier. Standing here, waiting her inevitable turn on the stage, standing next to one of the Igors, and standing on Vinnie's shoulders, with the cameras just a few meters away….On the one hand, she was scared for herself, but then again, there was the fact that poor Vinnie was supporting all of her weight on his tiny shoulders.

That little gecko was surprisingly strong.

"Next team is up!" the stagehand announced.

Igor took Blythe's hand and led her out onto the stage. In front of the judges. In front of the crowd.

In front of the cameras.

Her entire body was shaking. Her jaw had locked up. Cold sweat was running down the back of her neck. She could feel the thousands – the millions – of eyes staring at her, both in the crowd and through the cameras.

She stared at the camera, at that machine of metal and plastic, knowing that she was currently being televised all around the nation, knowing that entire families were watching her at home.

She was hyperventilating. Her heart was racing.

And like it or not, this was going to happen.

################################

"I think I've got it," Russell said. He'd spent the last several hours trying to remember how Mrs. Twombly used the remote to program the television, and just now, just as _Shake-A-Leg_ was about to air, he had figured it out. "Claws and paws crossed, pets." He pressed a button.

The picture worked perfectly. There was just one problem:

They couldn't understand a word that was being said!

"What language is that?" Penny Ling screamed.

"Fix it, Russell!" Pepper shouted.

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Russell cried as he pressed the buttons on the remote.

"Wait a minute," Zoe said. "Is that Blythe? What's she doing on this show?"

The pets stopped what they were doing, transfixed by the image on the screen – Blythe, in a glittery blue dress, dancing with a tall man in a white suit. It was an image none of them had ever imagined seeing; they all knew how Blythe felt about cameras, and seeing her on television right now, with her eyes wide as saucers, her body locked up, moving against her will….

It was an image they had never expected to see.

########################################

Blythe tried not to focus on the camera, tried to forget that her own father was in the crowd watching her; she tried to focus on Igor, tried to stay balanced on Vinnie's shoulders as Igor spun and dipped her.

Vinnie nearly lost control, causing Blythe to spin and flip, garnering applause from the audience. She held her arms out, trying to balance herself and help Vinnie get control again; she fell against Igor, catching him off guard. The two managed to stay on their feet, spinning to the slow music, but lost control and spun their way off stage.

The room was silent for a moment, before the crowd and the judges erupted in cheers and thunderous applause.

Blythe sat up and rubbed her head. She and Igor had finally fallen to the floor, Igor laying a few feet away. Vinnie crawled out from under her dress, a huge smile on his scaly face.

"Get out there! They love you!"

For a few seconds, Blythe forgot about the cameras, forgot about the crowd. She ran back out onto the stage and bowed. The judges were smiling and applauding along with the crowd.

Despite the cameras still filming her, Blythe felt satisfied. She felt…happy.

A few moments later, she was backstage, hugging her father. "I had no idea you were such a good dancer," he said.

"To be honest, Dad, neither did I."

"Hey everyone!" Roger called to all the people backstage. "That was my daughter out there! She's got those mad dance skills from her dear old dad."

Blythe rolled her eyes, before kneeling down to talk to Vinnie, who was now surrounded by several other lizards she didn't recognize. She pulled Vinnie in for a hug.

"We did it!" she cheered. "We did it, Vinnie!"

"You're right, Blythe. It was all of us. I've always been afraid that I don't have what it takes to be a dancer." He gestured to the other lizards. "But these guys showed me that I do."

"Speaking of which," Blythe said, "I was so nervous about pulling off this crazy stunt that I completely forgot about the cameras."

The stagehand hurried over to her. "There you are, Karina."

"My name's Blythe, not Karina."

"Whatever. You were great. The crowd loved you, the judges loved you, and we're already getting emails and phone calls about you! So, what would you say to joining the cast? We'll give you whatever you want – your own dressing room, your own parking spot, even your pet lizards can stay."

"Sorry, but I can't," Blythe said. "For one thing, these lizards aren't my pets. One of them is my friend and dance coach; the others are his friends. And second, we've got a plane to catch. It's a long flight back to Downtown City. So thank you, but no."

#######################################

Everyone at school had been talking about Blythe's performance. Everywhere she went, someone was talking to her about it. Even out of school, just around town, people recognized her. All the recognition made her feel slightly uncomfortable. Sure, it was nice to be noticed, but she'd heard rumors about people starting up a fan club for her, and whether or not those rumors were true, she was worried that some people might be taking things a bit too far.

So she was glad to be back at Littlest Pet Shop, watching the show that Russell had taped. Even she had to admit that everyone was right; she did do a good job.

"You're really good, Blythe," Vinnie said. "I could watch that a million more times."

 _Way to pat yourself on the back,_ Blythe thought.

"Well, you're in luck," Pepper said. "They replayed it last night, so I recorded it. Good thing we figured out how to get the TV to speak English."

Russell took the remote from Pepper. "Wait a minute, you didn't…." He checked the DVR memory. "No. No you did not. 'Duchess Visits the Garden'. 'Duchess Picks Blueberries'. NO! YOU DELETED THE EPISODE WHERE THEY REPAVE LANCASHIRE LANE! PEPPER, HOW COULD YOU! THAT'S THE ONE WHERE THE DUCHESS HAS A HEATED DISCUSSION WITH THE TOWN COUNCIL!"


	12. Lights, Camera, Mongoose!

LIGHTS, CAMERA, MONGOOSE!

THE MARKETPLACE WAS BUSTLING WITH ACTIVITY – CHILDREN RAN AND PLAYED, people stopped to mingle and talk with shop owners and friends they met on the street, purchases were made, goods were traded, a rickshaw was pulled down the street. It was just another normal day for this Indian bazaar.

All that changed when a white tiger suddenly leaped from the shadows, its claws extended, its fangs bared as its loud roar echoed off the stone walls. Everyone ran from the tiger, some trampling over each other; children were scooped up by their parents as they ran for their lives; one man fainted from the shock of it all.

But the tiger had no malicious intent; it only wanted its three cubs back – the same three cubs who were currently stuck inside a small, metal cage, mewing and calling for their mother. The tiger would have freed them, if another human – a tall human in an olive vest armed with a dart gun – hadn't stepped in between them.

"And Mommy makes four."

The tiger roared in anger and fright as it backed up, ready to pounce as the man prepared to fire his dart.

They never saw the mysterious hero until he had already knocked the poacher out. He took the keys off the man's belt and opened the cage, freeing the cubs.

The mysterious hero was known throughout the land. A small, blue mongoose with white highlights along his fur; his green eyes filled with a sort of determination that not even the great Gilgamesh could match. He was the same hero who had saved a group of children who had gotten lost in the jungle, the same hero who fought off a school of hungry Ganghes sharks, the heroic mongoose who was praised in song and folklore.

A mongoose named Sharukh.

He was a favorite among the pets at Littlest Pet Shop, a hero who – like Batman and Spider-Man – always saved the day no matter the odds or the obstacles. He would always swoop in when he was needed, saving anyone and everyone from whatever danger they were facing.

The pets cheered for Sharukh as the tiger mother carried him off into the sunset, her cubs walking along beside them. The only one not cheering was Vinnie. He didn't see what the big deal was – he was just a mongoose; then again, so was Sunil, but the difference was that Vinnie and Sunil had known each other since they were really young; they were best friends.

So what did everyone see in this particular mongoose? Was it the fact that he was a movie star? A mongoose hero? Was it the fact that he never faltered and always saved the day?

"Please," Vinnie scoffed as the other pets cheered for Sharukh. "Like that could ever happen."

"Don't be hating, Vinnie," Pepper said. "This is the latest romantic-comedy-action-adventure-musical starring the fabulous mongoose superstar Sharukh! He's the best!"

"If you say so, Pepper. I'm just not a fan," Vinnie said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Sunil stepped in front of the television, blocking everyone's view. They reacted just as Vinnie anticipated, with annoyed groans. Their groans of annoyance grew louder as Sunil turned the television off.

"Please, please," Sunil said, trying to calm everyone down. "The magic trick that you are about to see is far superior than any silly DVD."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "What is it this time, Sunil? A cup of tea that blows itself up?"

"I doubt it," Minka said. "Not after the last one. I think his eyebrows just finished growing back."

"You are right, my simian friend," Sunil said. "You have seen me make things disappear before."

"Yeah, and you nearly left my tail in the middle of Uptown City!" Pepper snapped. "Thanks a lot!"

Sunil let out a nervous chuckle. "And I apologized. Numerous times. But I guarantee that this time there will be no accidental magical dismemberment. I give you my word as a mongoose magician."

"Yeah, the last time you said that, Blythe went baled for half an hour," Penny Ling reminded him. "She had to wear a mop as a wig before you could finally fix her."

"That was now and this is then – I mean, this is then and that was now – I mean – oh, you know what I mean. Today, I am going to show you a new, improved version of my disappearing trick. Something I call the Switcheroo." None of the other pets seemed impressed; they just stared at him, some blankly, some disapproving. "I, along with a volunteer from the audience, will disappear, travel through space, and reappear in each other's place!" The other pets continued to stare at him, no one saying a word. "I will need a volunteer to help me with this amazing feat." He scanned the other pets. Penny Ling backed away; Zoe cowered; Russell rolled into a ball; Minka leaped to the roof; Vinnie covered his eyes; Pepper was letting off a foul stench.

He turned his attention back to Penny Ling. "You!"

"No," Penny Ling squeaked. Sunil nodded his head. "Uh-uh."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes – wait."

"A-HA! _Looney Tunes_ pays off!"

"Oh, he got you with the old 'Duck Season/Rabbit Season' trick," Pepper moaned. "Don't worry, Penny Ling. We've all fallen for it."

Penny Ling slowly stood up and stood beside Sunil. Her tiny panda body was shaking; she had no idea what Sunil had in store for her, but it was making her nervous.

"Now, miss, have we ever met before?" Sunil asked.

"Uh, Sunil, we see each other every day," Penny Ling said flatly.

"Act like we're at a magic show, Penny Ling," Sunil whispered. He cleared his throat. "Have we ever met before?"

"Why, no, no we have not," Penny Ling said, forcing herself to fib.

"Excellent!" He turned to the rest of the pets. "Now, prepare yourselves for the Switcheroo!" The other pets just stared blankly at him. Their blanks stares turned into looks of confusion as he began running around the room, chanting gibberish, ending only when he tripped over his cape. He quickly climbed back to his paws, turned to Penny Ling, and began chanting again. He dropped something, something that exploded in a puff of smoke, and a second later, Sunil was standing right where Penny Ling had been.

The other pets awed in amazement.

"I did it!" Sunil cheered. They all turned to where he had been a second ago, expecting to see Penny Ling.

But Penny Ling was not there.

"You only half did it, David Blah," Vinnie snarked.

"I don't understand," Sunil mused. "She should have been right –"

Penny Ling came running through the door leading from the shop. "Sunil, you did it!"

Vinnie began examining her. "Two ears, two eyes, claws, fangs, paws, tiny little tail – yup, you're all you."

"You guys, Sunil's new trick is amazing! One second I'm standing in Day Camp, the next I'm outside, and I saw that they were filming a movie right down the street! And it's starring our favorite animal movie star – Sharukh!"

Most of the pets clamored in excitement; Sunil's shoulders drooped; Vinnie just stared blankly at her.

"Hang on," Sunil said after a moment of silence. "I transported you all the way down the street? Wow, my trick worked better than I thought it would."

"Sunil, would you be quiet for a moment?" Zoe asked. "Thank you. So, how can we get on the set to see Sharukh?"

"I know, I know!" Minka chirped. "We can build a giant balloon filled with helium and float over!"

"Deliver a few surprise pizzas?" Pepper suggested.

"I know a way," Sunil said. "The magical way."

"NO!" the other pets shouted. Sunil shrunk back, disheartened.

"Hey, why don't we just ask Blythe to take to the set?" Russell suggested. The other pets – minus Vinnie and Sunil – nodded in agreement.

 _Well, if you want to do it the normal way, go right ahead,_ Sunil thought glumly.

##################################

They knew that a movie set was going to be a busy place, but not this busy. The actors were rehearsing their lines; the director was reading through the next scene in the script; the lighting and camera technicians were setting up for the next shot.

Blythe stopped her scooter just outside of a barricade that had been set up to keep onlookers and spectators off the set. A tall, burly security guard was keeping watch, eying her intently, making sure she didn't make any funny moves.

Not like Blythe would. She knew they were busy and didn't want to disturb them; she just wanted to bring the pets to the set – they wanted to visit, and there was no way she was going to deny them that wish. So after talking to Mrs. Twombly about it, Blythe put them all in her scooter and they set off down the street.

"Wow. This place is really buzzing," she observed as she removed her helmet. "So, Penny Ling, how exactly did you find out that this was going on today?"

"You can thank me for that," Sunil said before Penny Ling could respond. "I magically transported her over here."

"What? How?" Blythe asked.

"A magician never reveals his secrets," Sunil said sternly.

"In other words, even he has no idea how he did it," Pepper said flatly, warranting an angry glare from Sunil. "What? It's true."

"It is not true, it's the Magician's Code," Sunil argued.

They were approached by the guard as they neared the barricade. "This is a closed set, miss." He looked down at the pets, who were all staring up at him with wide puppy-dog eyes. "And the cute look doesn't work on me. Take your critters and their fleas and move along."

"He's joking, right?" Vinnie asked. "Geckos don't have fleas. We don't even have fur."

Blythe rolled her eyes. "Come on, you guys. I guess no visitors allowed today."

"What are we going to do now?" Pepper asked when they were out of earshot of the guard.

"Good question. It's going to be difficult to get past Tiny over there," Blythe replied.

"Uh, Blythe, that guy is anything but tiny," Vinnie corrected her, completely missing the point of Blythe's sarcastic naming of the guard.

"I can make that guard disappear if you want," Sunil suggested. "A poof of magic dust and POP! He'll be in the middle of Middleton in less than a minute."

"NO!" the other pets cried. "NO MAGIC!"

They saw someone go into a nearby trailer. A moment later, the door opened again, and out came a mongoose, the same size as Sunil, his fur a lighter shade of blue with more white highlights around the ears, a bored look on his furred face.

Everyone just stared at the mongoose as he made his way down the stairs, awestruck at the sight of their favorite animal movie star, Sharukh.

Vinnie was even more awestruck, squealing with glee at the very sight of the mongoose.

"Not a fan, huh?" Russell asked sarcastically. "Could have fooled me."

"Excuse me," Penny Ling called as the mongoose walked past. "Is it really you?"

"Yes, my adoring fan, it is I, Sharukh."

Pepper began stammering with excitement. "I – I – I've seen all your work! _Planet of the Mongoose_! _The Fantastic Mr. Mongoose_! _My Mongoose 3D_!"

"Thank you very much for appreciating my work; you are very kind, my little skunk," Sharukh said with a slight bow. He turned to Sunil; began studying him, looking him over. "Have we met before? You look familiar."

"He should; he looks just like you," Blythe pointed out.

"I don't see it," Sharukh said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Nor do I," Sunil agreed.

"Well, it's just the whiskers, the tail, the little eyes, the fur….Can you really blame me?"

Sharukh scoffed. "Humans. They think all animals look alike."

Just then, they heard someone call for Sharukh. Someone from across the street. Someone leading a mob of fans. "It was nice meeting with you, but I really must be going. Ta-ta!" He took off running for the set, the mob of fans chasing after him.

"Wow. That little guy sure is popular," Blythe noticed. She looked at her watch. "Oh snap, I didn't realize what time it was. I'm going to be late for my ice sculpting class! Okay, all of you, into the scooter!"

They all climbed into the scooter – basket and sidecar alike – as Blythe put on her helmet.

"Ice sculpting?" Russell repeated. "You can't be serious."

"You can blame Jasper. And if I don't hurry, that ice won't be there anymore. Ice waits for no one, Jasper likes to say."

"Well, it's kind of true," Minka said. "Let it sit too long and it turns to water."

A few moments later, they were back in front of Littlest Pet Shop. The pets climbed out of Blythe's scooter; Blythe climbed off of the bike and removed her helmet. The sound of a car horn caught their attention.

"That's my ride. I'll see you guys later." She hurried across the street.

None of them noticed Sharukh climbing out of the scooter's side car until he spoke up.

"Hello, my friends."

"What the woof are you doing here?" Zoe asked. "You should be back at the movie set!"

"That is where I am supposed to be, not where I should be," Sharukh said. "I needed to get away from all of that. I'm growing weary of being famous and fussed over."

 _I'm having a very hard time believing that,_ Zoe thought.

"Just be glad there are people out there who appreciate your talents," Sunil said.

"Yes, but at what price?" Sharukh asked. "I can't possibly make you understand what I'm going through. But if you think it's so great, then you can go ahead and try being me, Mr. Looks-A-Lot-Like-Me-Mongoose."

"Yeah, quit bugging the guy, Sunil," Pepper said as she took Sharukh by the foreleg. "We want to hear more about his fabulous life as a movie star mongoose." The other pets followed Pepper through the little pet door as she dragged Sharukh along behind her, leaving Sunil alone on the sidewalk outside.

"Challenge accepted," Sunil huffed. "I will try being you for a while. How difficult can it be? I bet it won't be that difficult. In fact, I won't be surprised if I'm much better at it than you, Mr. Movie Star Mongoose!"

He turned and started walking back in the direction of the movie set, huffing as he did. He kept glancing back in the direction of Littlest Pet Shop, lamenting to himself how he was underappreciated back there. No one seemed to enjoy his magical talent, no matter how hard he worked or how successful he was. For all he knew, they probably wouldn't even realize that he was gone for the rest of the day.

"Sharukh!" The stagehand they saw enter Sharukh's trailer earlier came running up to him.

For a moment, Sunil thought about turning and going back to the pet shop, but if he did that, then the other pets would think he was afraid to try to live Sharukh's life, that he had given up. He couldn't go back to Littlest Pet Shop letting the other pets think that about him.

"Sharukh, you've really got to stop taking those two hour lunch breaks," the stagehand said. "They need you in makeup right now!"

###################################

The pets had Sharukh surrounded, asking him question after question about his life as a movie star. Even though he said that he didn't care for all the attention, he didn't mind the questions the pets were asking. He was glad that someone wanted to know all about it, wanted to know every little detail about life both in front of and behind the cameras, on and off the set.

"Can you give us details, Sharukh?" Penny Ling asked. "Please, tell us what it's like to be an international pet superstar!"

"You really want to know?" Sharukh asked. "As you wish, my panda friend."

 _Get on your knees and bow right down_

 _I'll sing you a song of my renown_

 _When you're a famous pet like me_

 _You look at your life a little differently_

 _Just one servant is not enough_

 _I need a least a dozen to hold my stuff_

 _And when I go shop right down the street_

 _I take my jet to spare my feet_

"Water please!" he called. Russell quickly got a small glass, filled it with water from the dispensers near the kibble. "What – What is this?"

"Uh, it's water," Russell replied.

"Why are there no bubbles? It should be bubbling," Sharukh complained. Russell rolled his eyes and walked off.

 _A butler stands by every door_

 _To open it myself seems such a chore_

 _I've got more money than you can see_

 _My Swiss bank account's in Germany_

 _One course, two course, three course, four_

 _Every meal takes three hours or more_

 _Steak's too thick, well, what do I do?_

 _I just pay somebody else to chew_

 _I got an honorary degree_

 _From every single major university_

 _I think it's funny but don't ask me_

 _I pay other people to laugh for me_

 _If you ask me, it's just not fair_

 _Everywhere I go, all the people stare_

 _But it's not hard to feel envy_

 _When I'm head to toe in jewelry_

 _That's my life as a superstar_

 _You can see it's not an easy thing by far_

 _Now I'm going to count to three_

 _And I want you all to cry for me_

"Someone wipe my brow. I think I'm starting to sweat a bit." The other pets rolled their eyes and groaned. From the sound – and look – of things, he was not exactly who they were expecting.

######################################

Sunil was trying to figure out exactly how Sharukh would want to give up a life like this. His claws were being filed down instead of trimmed, his fur was getting brushed, his teeth had been cleaned, the makeup people were getting everything he wanted or needed – if he wanted a cool glass of water, they got it; if he wanted some tasty kibble, they got it. Why would Sharukh want to leave this behind?

To show his appreciation, he magically conjured up a bouquet of flowers for one of the women.

"I didn't know you could do magic."

The director's voice came over the speaker system. "Mongoose needed on the set!"

Sunil was carried out of the trailer and placed on the pavement, on a black X made out of masking tape, in front of a painting of a city, right next to a large fan, with cameras facing him from all directions. He suddenly felt very small and very nervous.

Someone threw the switch, making the city backdrop move. Another switch was thrown, turning on the massive fan. He barely heard the director yell "ACTION!" over the sound of the fan; he was also too busy trying not to be blown off his paws by the force of the wind.

Sunil had no idea what he was supposed to be doing. He just stood there, struggling against the fan's wind, looking at the director, at the camera man, into the camera, with absolutely no idea what to do. Sharukh might have known, but Sunil didn't.

"CUT!" Everything stopped, allowing the director to kneel down next to Sunil. "Sharukh, bub, you know what I'm supposed to do when I call 'Action', right? Your trainer taught you, didn't he?" Sunil pulled a quarter from behind the director's ear. "Ha ha, very cute."

And then he shouted, in a voice that made Sunil's blood run cold: "NOW REMEMBER TO HIT YOUR MARK!"

#################################

How they had become Sharukh's personal servants they had no idea. One minute he was talking about how he hated being waited on paw and foot, and the next, he had Zoe massaging him, Russell and Penny Ling fanning him, Pepper fetching him water whenever he got thirsty – water he promptly spit right back into her face because it wasn't as cold and crisp as he liked – making Vinnie turn on the television to watch his soap operas, and making Minka rub his feet.

"And to think, this yokel didn't want to be fussed over," Russell grumbled.

The door opened; Blythe came in, dragging a cart behind her. On the cart was an ice sculpture of Mrs. Twombly.

"What do you guys think? You like it?" she asked. "Um….Does someone mind explaining how Sunil got you guys to fawn over him like this? Seriously, who lost a bet?"

"Oh, this isn't Sunil," Russell answered. "This is the fabulous international movie star mongoose Sharukh."

"What the what? How – I mean, what – how did this happen? Where's Sunil?" Blythe asked.

"Sharukh here followed us back from the movie set and said he was tired of being fawned over and being a star and having people do stuff for him," Vinnie explained.

"I need someone to make my eyes blink!" Sharukh shouted. "No one? Really? Do I have to do it myself? Oh, fine." He huffed as he slowly blinked. "I should not have had to do that."

"Okay, so let me see if I can figure this out," Blythe said. "Sharukh is here at LPS. Does that mean that Sunil is on the movie set in Sharuk's place?"

"You know, somehow, when you say it, it sounds bad," Russell said.

"It is bad!" Blythe exclaimed. "If Sunil's owners show up and see a strange mongoose in his place, they're going to freak! I've got to go get him!" She hurried out the door.

"Don't hurry back! Your presence won't be missed!" Sharukh called after her. "Where is the monkey? I need her to rub my feet."

######################################

They had finally taken a break, which was fine by Sunil. He didn't like how the director was constantly shouting at him. Couldn't he see that Sunil had no idea what to do? It would have been different if he had been like Sharukh, but he wasn't; he was Sunil, an average mongoose who should have, by all rights, still been at Day Camp with his friends.

But he didn't mind the treatment he was getting between scenes. He enjoyed getting his feet rubbed and his fur cleaned. One of the makeup ladies was rubbing some cream on the bottom of his paws, which was nice.

Or at least, he thought it was nice, until he heard what the stagehand said over the radio.

"Sharukh is ready for the walking across hot coal scene!"

Sunil had no idea that he would be doing something as scary and as dangerous as that when he took Sharukh's bet.

But there was nothing he could do about it now, no matter how much he wanted. He could try to run away, but the aides would just haul him back to the set.

He had to go through with it, even though he was terrified beyond belief.

#####################################

Penny Ling had joined Blythe as they made their way back to the movie set. Penny Ling's excuse was that she was getting tired of being ordered around by Sharukh, something Blythe could understand. Still, Blythe would have preferred getting Sunil back on her own without having to worry about a panda cub that might run off.

"Do you even have an idea of how we're going to find Sunil?" Penny Ling asked as they walked the rest of the way to the set.

"I don't think it'll be that hard," Blythe answered. "He's the only mongoose on set, right?"

They spotted the security guard from earlier speaking into a walkie-talkie. "Roger that."

"Blythe, that's the man that chased us off the set earlier," Penny Ling pointed out.

"Don't worry, Penny Ling. I'm sure that once we tell him they've got the wrong mongoose he'll let us on the set." She hurried over to the barricade, Penny Ling close behind. "Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but I need to get on the set. I have to get my mongoose."

"YOUR mongoose?" the guard repeated. "I don't know if you've noticed, young lady, but Sharukh is an employee of Big Time Pictures, a subsidiary of Jumbo Jammie's Baking Company, whose parent corporation is We Own Everything, Inc."

"Yeah, well, all those companies have the wrong mongoose," Blythe reiterated. "That isn't Sharukh in there, that's Sunil. Sunil Nevla. He belongs back at Littlest Pet Shop."

"Well, darling, you might want to come up with a way to convince me, because in less than two minutes, SHARUKH is going to be leaping off of that tall building behind me."

"What the WHAT?!"

Sunil's panicked cried came over the radio. To the guard, all he heard was a mongoose chattering.

But not Blythe. She heard Sunil's pleas for help.

"That's my mongoose! And he says he wants to come home."

"You sure about that, Doctor Doolittle? Because all I heard him say was 'mongoose chatter, mongoose chatter'. That means that you and your little teddy bear can hit the road. Don't you have some Barbies or little pony dolls to play with?"

Barbie dolls? Blythe hadn't collected those since before her mother passed away. She clenched her fists, flared her nostrils, and stormed away from the barricade, Penny Ling close behind her.

"We have to get that walkie-talkie away from him somehow."

"Leave that to me," Penny Ling said. She cracked her knuckles and turned to the guard, her tiny fangs bared in determination. She snuck over to the guard who, from the sound of things, was using his walkie-talkie to order a pizza.

"And no anchovies, I said no anchovies. You put anchovies on this thing and you are going to be in big trouble, okay?"

"RARGH!" Penny Ling leaped off of the barricade and landed on the guard's head, knocking the walkie-talkie out of his hand. "Come and get me, you big oaf!" She ran off after double checking to make sure the Blythe had caught the walkie-talkie.

"Hey! Freaking adorable panda! Get back here!"

####################################

Sharukh had been satiated for now, listening to some hip-hop from Zoe's owner's iPod and sipping on some hot earl gray tea. Now that he wasn't nagging them with constant demands, the pets could all gather around and try to come up with a plan to convince him to go back to the movie set.

"We have to get rid of him before he drives us totally bananas," Russell said.

"No one said anything about there being any bananas," Minka said. "Since when are there bananas?"

"Minka, you're missing the point," Russell said flatly. "Our guest likes to be comfortable, right? Well, I think the best way to get rid of him is to make him as uncomfortable as possible. Here's what we do."

The pets all gathered around, listening to his plan. It seemed simple enough, and if everything went the way they wanted, it would force Sharukh to want to leave Littlest Pet Shop and go back to the film set. Of course there was the possibility that it might not work, but at the moment it was their best chance.

They had to act, and they had to act now. If they didn't, they would miss their chance and Sharukh would never leave.

Zoe was up first. She watched, waiting for the perfect opportunity. The opportunity presented itself when Sharukh removed the headphones and reached for his cup, which was empty.

"Refill! I demand a refill!"

"There will be no more demanding around here, mister," Zoe barked as she trudged over to him. "We are not your slaves. We are not your lackeys. Most especially not Zoe Trent."

 _It's the real authentic, leave you dented_

 _Forget what you heard, if I said it, I meant it_

 _Did it for real, while you pretended_

 _Back for more, starting the war to end it_

 _Raw, ripping like I'm working a chainsaw_

 _New York to Cali, New Jersey to Crenshaw_

 _Speak the gift, have you had enough?_

 _My team is sick, we eat, sleep and breathe this stuff_

 _Rough and rugged, kill them soft_

 _We don't leave one standing when we're breaking them off_

 _Taking a loss? Not a chance in your life_

 _If being fresh is wrong, I don't wanna be right_

 _Stop, drop and roll, we got soul_

 _Safety popped off when we lock and load_

 _So this how we get this done_

 _You can check on the rep, yep, second to none_

 _Check on the rep, second to none, yeah_

 _This how we get this done_

 _You can check on the rep, second to none_

 _Check on the rep, second to none, yeah_

 _This how we get this done_

 _You can check on the rep, second to none_

Sharukh ran, trying to get as far away from Zoe as possible. He ran as fast as he could, only to be met by Pepper, who squirted him in the face with a joke flower.

"What is the meaning of this?"

"No meaning. It's comedy. Besides, you kept nagging us for water, so here you go!" She squirted him again.

Vinnie hopped up to him. "Hey, Sharukh. You're a dancer, right? Can you show me how to put more Cha in my Cha-Cha?"

"No!" Sharukh shouted.

"Come on. I just need help with my spins." He grabbed Sharukh and began to spin him until Sharukh was dizzy, which didn't take that long. His eyes were rolling in his head, and his face was turning green. Vinnie let him go, and he tumbled to the floor.

Sharukh slowly stood up, rubbing his head. "You pets are starting to get on my nerves. I came here for some peace and quiet!" He would have said more if Minka didn't splatter green paint all over his head. "WHAT!"

"Can I paint you?"

"You just did, you insipid simian!" Sharukh growled. Minka ran her paint brush over his face, covering him in green paint. "Stop that!" He ran out the little pet door and into the main shop, hiding under a table. "This is no way for an international superstar to be treated," he grumbled. "I need to get out of here. I need to get back to the set!"

###################################

The guard was still looking for Penny Ling, never seeing her and Blythe hiding near some trash cans. Blythe had met Penny Ling a few moments ago near the lunch trailer, and they had been hiding from the guard – and any other wandering eyes – since then.

"All ready for the bungee jump scene?" a stagehand asked over the walkie-talkie.

"Roger that," another voice replied. "Mongoose all ready."

Blythe looked up at the building in question. It was tall – must have been nearly twenty stories. Its roof seemed to touch the sky. And they wanted Sunil to jump off of that thing.

 _No. They don't want Sunil, they want Sharukh, whom they think Sunil is. I've got to stop him. But how? HOW?_

 _###############################_

Sunil had done everything he could think of to get out of performing this dangerous stunt. It was bad enough that he was afraid of heights; he never dreamed in his entire life that he would be tied to an elastic rope and leaping off of a tall building. The stagehand and director had assured him that the rope had been tested, but Sunil didn't trust it. He didn't care if it had been tested to hold the weight of a whale, he did not want to make the jump. Wasn't there a stunt mongoose for this sort of thing?

The stagehand placed him next to the edge of the building and told him to jump when the director yelled "Action". He looked over the edge, saw the ground down below.

Ground that seemed so far down.

Ground just waiting for him to make a nasty stain on the pavement.

"Don't worry, Sharukh. The rope was fixed after last week's breakage. Only this time, there's no net to catch you." The stagehand patted him on the head. "Don't worry. How many times have you done this stunt before? You'll be fine." She walked off, leaving the walkie-talkie next to him.

Sunil pressed the button and spoke into the device.

"Hello! Hello! Can anyone hear me? You've got to get me out of here! I don't want to be here any more!"

"Sunil? Sunil, is that you?" Blythe's voice came over the radio.

"Blythe! Thank goodness. GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"I can't get past the security guard. You're going to have to get yourself out of there."

"There is no way out except for down, and I don't want to go down! And you know what they say – it's not the fall that kills you. And I'm pretty sure concrete hurts when you land on it from two hundred feet in the air!"

"What about your magic? Have you tried that?"

"Blythe, sadly, I must face the fact that I am no magician. I'm a hack."

Just then, Penny Ling's voice came over the radio. "Sunil, you are no hack. You did that Switcheroo thing on me, remember? That's how we learned about the movie shoot in the first place. Not even David Copperfield could do that. You're a great magician, Sunil. I'm sorry if we've never told you before."

"You don't have to be modest about my magic, Penny Ling. Though I suppose it IS true that my Switcheroo worked earlier."

"And that's your way out, Sunil," Blythe said. "Switch out with Sharukh."

"ACTION!" the director yelled.

Blythe looked back up at the building, saw a small blue dot attached to a thin yellow wire falling down.

"SUNIL!"

There was a small puff of smoke. Blythe squinted her eyes to get a better look. She saw a mongoose still attached to the bungee wire, but it wasn't Sunil.

It was Sharukh.

"I'M BACK, BABY!"

"Alright, it worked!" Penny Ling cheered.

"Come on, let's get back to the pet shop. Sunil's going to be waiting for us."

#####################################

Sunil was still screaming, even though he no longer felt like he was falling. He slowly opened his eyes. He saw the yellow floor and walls, the kibble and water bins, the toys strewn about, the tree, the tire, the fire hydrant, the beds – he was back in the day camp of Littlest Pet Shop.

"Yes! It worked!" He ran around the room, hugging all the pets. "I'm back! I'm back in Littlest Pet Shop! The Switcheroo worked! Yes!"

Blythe and Penny Ling came through the door. "Thank goodness you're back, Sunil. We were hoping we'd find you here."

"You really are a great magician," Russell said. "I don't know how I ever doubted you."

"I appreciate your appreciation," Sunil said. "But do you know what I learned to really appreciate? My normal, boring, ordinary life, because life as a movie star is dangerous and scary." He walked over to his bag of tricks, hidden in the corner behind the fire hydrant. "Now, I need a volunteer for a new trick I've been working on."

Everyone ran away when they saw that he had pulled out a mall box and a saw.

"What? It's not going to hurt, I swear!"


	13. Topped With Buttercream

TOPPED WITH BUTTERCREAM

"THERE. PERFECT."

Blythe finished putting together the cardboard display she'd been working on for the past several days. It was an image of Zoe, wearing a pair of wide rimmed yellow glasses and a black dress with white polka dots.

"Almost perfect," Zoe said as she knocked it over. "It just looks a little too…brown."

"That's because you're looking at the cardboard side, Zoe," Blythe replied.

The door was thrown open as Youngmee came running into the room, squealing with delight, a huge smile spread across her face. "Blythe! Guess what, guess what, guess what!"

"Um, you accidentally drank a gallon of coffee mixed with ten bags of sugar?" Blythe guessed.

"No, goofball," Youngmee replied. "We're going to be neighbors! Well, work neighbors, anyway. Isn't that cool?"

"Youngmee, you're not making any sense. What are you talking about?"

"Well, I could tell you, but I think it'd be better if I just showed you."

Blythe was nearly thrown off her feet as Youngmee pulled her through the door, out of Littlest Pet Shop, down the street, around the corner to what Blythe had remembered as the vacant building. But the building was no longer vacant – a sign had been put up and decorated with various candies; the walls inside the building were being painted; various pieces of furniture – tables, stands, shelves – and she could smell the sweet aroma of cupcakes and muffins wafting out through the door.

The last thing that caught her attention was the sign being hoisted up above the door and what was written on it – "Sweet Delights".

"It's my Aunt Chrissie's new sweet shop and bakery," Youngmee explained as Blythe just stared at the building, awestruck. "She just finished buying this old building and we've been moving stuff in all morning. I couldn't wait to tell you."

"So that means that you'll be working right next door to me, which also means that we'd be able to hang out more often." The two girls hugged, squealing with delight.

"I need that vanilla extract by tomorrow morning or I'm sunk, Dexter," Aunt Chrissie spoke into one of her many cell phones as she stepped out of the shop. She looked at another phone as its ringtone jingled. "No, no! What? Oh, no, not you Dexter. I just got a message from my supplier that they're all out of turbo mixture. Look, just get me that vanilla extract, okay? I'll talk to you later." She closed her phone and put it back in her purse before turning to the girls. "Hi."

"Aunt Chrissie, this is my friend Blythe," Youngmee introduced her. "She works right next door at Littlest Pet Shop."

"Nice to finally meet you, Blythe. Wait a minute, I might have something in here for you." She began rooting through her purse, pulling out various objects that Blythe would have expected to see in Mary Poppins's purse – a stirring whisk, a stack of bowls, a blender, a twenty pound bag of sugar, a rolling pin, spoons and forks – before finally pulling out what looked like two melted popsicles wrapped in plastic. "Here we are. My new icing pops." She gave one to Blythe and one to Youngmee. "They're made from real cake icing. Let me know what you think." She answered another ringing cell phone. "No, Dexter, the extract has to be from Madagascar. It can't come from anywhere else."

Blythe took a bite of the icing pop as Aunt Chrissie walked off, talking on her phone. "This is pretty good. I think I'm going to enjoy having your aunt next door to LPS."

Chrissie closed her phone and turned back to Blythe. "So, how's Buttercream Sundae?"

Buttercream Sundae was Chrissie's pet rabbit. Youngmee had dropped her off every so often while she helped Chrissie get this shop set up, though Blythe hadn't known it at the time. She knew that someone had bought out the old shop next door, but until just a few moments ago, she had no idea who it was. And Buttercream Sundae….She was a handful. That little bunny seemed to be on a perpetual sugar high, always hopping around and sometimes literally bouncing off the walls because she was so excited. The other pets had fun when she was around, and so did Blythe.

And besides, Buttercream was so cute!

"She's doing great," Blythe said. "The other pets just love her."

##########################################

The other pets just loved having Buttercream visit. She was so much fun to be around; her energy was palpable, almost contagious. She was singing and dancing, and the other pets had joined in, all laughing and cheering. They'd never had this much fun before!

The pets cheered as Buttercream hopped onto the windowsill and spun on her ears.

"Thank you thank you cotton hankey!"

"Buttercream, you're so much fun!" Pepper exclaimed.

"Yes indeed," Sunil agreed. "Your positive attitudes have reinvigorated us, like a breath of fresh fun air."

"Not only that," Penny Ling added, "but you're also super cute, which takes a load off my shoulders. Being impossibly adorable is harder than it looks."

"Cheer up, Penny Ling," Buttercream said. "You're the most super-duper squishy-wishy of all the super-duper squishy-wishies!"

Penny Ling cocked her head in confusion. "What?"

"I don't know," Buttercream said with a shrug of her little bunny shoulders. She hopped of the windowsill and hopped to the other side of the room.

"Well, Buttercream, now that we've calmed down somewhat," Russell said, "on behalf of all the other pets, I would like to welcome you to Littlest Pet Shop Day Camp."

"Thanks, Russell-Bo-Bussell," Buttercream said amongst the chorus of cheers and applause from the other pets. "I think you guys are swell too. You're the bee's pajamas. I'm looking forward to coming over here every day and spending oodles of noodles with everyone!"

Vinnie chuckled. "It's funny. I can't understand what she's saying half the time, but I really don't mind it." Sunil nodded his head in agreement.

"And we're looking forward to visiting you next door at the sweet shop," Zoe said to Buttercream. "I mean, despite the fact that sugar has adverse effects against a dog – and even if it didn't, a diet consisting mainly of sugar is highly questionable – it's going to be so cool!"

Minka went zooming past. "Not only that," she said, "but we've got a secret tunnel leading right next door." She pointed to the hole in the wall, just small enough for them all to fit into – a hole the size of a dog like Zoe. No one knew how it had gotten there; their best guess was that some mice or termites had chewed through it. "We can use that like we're secret agents or something."

"Yeah, sure," Buttercream said with a shrug of her little bunny shoulders. "Anyhoo, you guys are going to absolutely love the sweeteriffic treateriffic treats over there."

"They're good, aren't they?" Vinnie asked.

"They're better than good," Buttercream answered. "They're scrum-dilly-umptious!"

 _BUTTERCREAM: Just look around and you will see_

 _A place so yummy that you can't believe_

 _Every type of sweet there could possibly be_

 _We only have the best, just try, and you'll agree_

 _We've got flavors comin' out the door_

 _Here's a caramel apple cherry cream s'more!_

 _Cupcakes, icing pops_

 _Glasses made from lollipops_

 _Sweet-errific treat-errifics never ever stop!_

 _GIRLS: The sweet shop, the sweet, sweet shop_

 _You have to love the candy shop_

 _The Sweet shop, the sweet, sweet shop_

 _Once you start you'll never stop_

 _RUSSELL: There's a table at the front where the pets can eat!_

 _VINNIE: And there's a really big gumball machine!_

 _PENNY LING: Macaroon jelly rolls!_

 _PEPPER: Snicker doodle pudding bowls!_

 _MINKA: Sweet-errific treat-errifics never grow old!_

 _PETS: The sweet shop, the sweet, sweet shop_

 _You have to love the candy shop_

 _The sweet shop, the sweet, sweet shop_

 _Once you start you'll never stop_

 _The sweet shop, the sweet, sweet shop_

 _You have to love the candy shop_

 _The sweet shop, the sweet, sweet shop_

 _Once you start, you never, ever stop_

 _SUNIL: You'll never stop_

"I can't wait to get over there and try some of that sweet stuff," Vinnie said, his big gecko eyes shimmering with delight. "Any chance we can go next door and snoop around a bit?"

"Does a bear sleep in the woods?" Buttercream asked in reply.

"What?"

"I don't know. Anyhoo, that's a great idea, Vinnie-Bo-Binnie."

"Wait a minute," Russell said amongst the chorus of cheers from the other pets. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. There's some construction going on over there, and I think everyone knows that construction can be dangerous. Besides, a diet consisting of nothing but sugar and artificial flavors is not safe for animals. Think of the effects, and I'm not just talking about a bad stomach ache from eating too much candy." The other pets just stared at him for a moment –

Before rushing off and squeezing through the hole in the wall.

Russell let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine! But if you get a hammer dropped on your tail, don't come crying to me!"

#######################################

Signs were being nailed into the walls; the empty walls were getting painted a bright lime green color; ladders and scaffolding were carted across the room; the foreman was reading through the blueprints, making sure everything was going exactly where it was supposed to go; the shelves were getting stocked with treats and ingredients; Chrissie watched from the stairs leading to the store's second level, admiring the hard work they were all putting into this project.

Of course they were going to be paid for their services – she wouldn't have hired them without the intent of paying them, after all.

"The place is looking good, Earl," she said to the foreman.

The foreman – Earl – tipped his hard hat in appreciation. "Thanks, Miss Song. We should be done by –"

Chrissie clasped a hand over his mouth, silencing him as she answered her Bluetooth headset.

"No, Barry, I'm talking with him right now. Hang on, I'll ask him." She removed her hand from Earl's mouth. "When do you think you'll be done?"

"Friday. Saturday at the latest."

"Glad to hear it." She started walking away. "Everything should be done between Friday and Saturday, Barry."

Earl watched Chrissie walk out the door, talking away on her phone. _I wonder if she does that stuff in her sleep?_ he thought. He turned to the rest of his crew. "Okay, people, that's a wrap for today. See you tomorrow at six." He waited for his crew to walk out the door, before shutting the door and locking it behind him. He wasn't worried about Chrissie not being able to get in; this was her shop, so naturally, she had the key, and would be here in the morning to unlock the door for them to get to work.

#############################################

The shop was quiet. Buttercream didn't hear anyone talking or walking around, didn't hear hammers and drills being used, didn't see anyone through the little hole they'd come through; from the look of things, everyone had left for the day.

Which was perfect for the pets – it gave them free reign of the place; they were allowed to do what they wanted, when they wanted, with no humans to stop them from doing it.

They were going to have some fun today!

"The pets are in the house!" Buttercream announced to no one in particular as she hopped through the hole. "What do you thinky-hinky of the kitchen-sinky?"

The other pets oohed and awed in amazement. They'd never seen a shop like this one. The walls were lined with various sugary treats – doughnuts, cupcakes, muffins, éclairs, breads; there were ingredients on the shelves, ranging from flour and sugar to sprinkles and food coloring; Vinnie's eyes were drawn to the massive gumball machine in the corner, just as he had imagined there would be one; Minka tried licking what looked like a sprinkle, only to discover that it was fresh paint; Sunil and Penny Ling directed the other pets' attention to the diorama on the second level, an artistic mock-up of candy canes, cupcakes, muffins, jelly beans, candy corn, peanut butter cups, peppermint patties, frosting, and ice cream on a rainbow backdrop.

"I don't know where that is," Penny Ling breathed in amazement as she stared at the cakes, "but I want to live there."

"Me too," Minka agreed. "Though I'd make sure to bring along a tooth brush. Gotta keep these pearly whites pearly white."

"Are those the kind of tasty yum-yums that will be made here?" Sunil asked Buttercream.

"Absolutely positutely," Buttercream said as she opened the door to the storage closet. "This is the place the yum-yums are born."

Stretched out before them were more bags of flour and sugar and tubes of food coloring; there were bins overflowing with the ingredients and artificial flavors; the shelves were packed with massive bags of ingredients, making the pets wonder if the shelves could even hold that much weight; an oven was on one wall, next to a refrigerator; the cabinets above the oven and the countertop were open, revealing the measuring cups and mixing bowls. Just looking at all of this, looking at the treats on the shelves on the main floor – they knew that it was bad for them, even worse than for humans, but they couldn't help but salivate at the very thought of those delicious treats massaging their taste buds.

"Who wants to try some?"

Against their better judgement, the pets dove right in, dragging Buttercream along, dislodging the little bow from one of her ears, the bow dropping down near the hole they had come through.

They were so fixated on filling their mouths with the delicious foodstuffs that they never noticed the door to the storage room shut and lock behind them.

#####################################

Blythe and Youngmee sat across the street from the sweet shop, sipping on some chocolate milkshakes from the nearby ice cream parlor. Judging by the look of things from out here, the shop was going to open later in the week, possibly Friday. Blythe could tell that Youngmee's aunt had put a lot of work into this little bakery, and she couldn't wait to taste the delicious treats that would soon come out of it.

"Just think, Blythe," Youngmee said. "We can take a milkshake break every day now if we wanted to."

"Or," Blythe added as she finished sipping on her milkshake, "we could pop into each other's stores and say hi."

"Compare work days," Youngmee said, "see which store is more popular."

"Yeah, let's not."

"You're right. It was a silly idea anyway."

"But I can certainly see some good times ahead of us."

"Yeah, me too."

They sat for a moment, silently sipping on their milkshakes.

"Want to go play with the pets?" Blythe asked.

###################################

This stuff wasn't very good for them, but the pets just couldn't help but gorge themselves on the sugar and flour and other such ingredients in the room. Zoe had knocked over a bin of flour; Pepper was rooting through the refrigerator with Buttercream; Minka was getting covered in food color; Russell was lounging atop a bin of sugar; Vinnie had dived right into a vat of sugar; Penny Ling was sitting on the counter, fighting to open a bag of sugar; the only one not gorging himself was Sunil, whose stomach was beginning to ache.

"I think I've eaten far too much sugar than is healthy," he moaned as he fell back on his paws. "My tummy isn't feeling very good right now."

Penny Ling swallowed the last bit of sugar in her mouth and collapsed onto the counter. Only the counter didn't feel like hard plastic, but soft grass. She was no longer in the kitchen, but rather, in a hilly field filled with lollypops and candy canes; the clouds were pink puffs of cotton candy; she saw dancing doughnuts and cupcakes, singing muffins, a river made of chocolate.

She had no idea if any of this was real or if it was a hallucination brought on by the sugar, but what she did know was that there was something wrong with Minka.

"Minka, your cherry's crooked," she said slowly.

"Hey!" Minka shot back. "Wait, what?"

Penny Ling took a sniff of the air, expecting to still be smelling the sweet scent of sugar, but instead got a nose full of Pepper's skunk spray, snapping her out of her stupor. "Never mind," she said as she held her nose.

Pepper was filling the room with her stink; she was jittery, bouncing and vibrating like one of those weird battery powered balls that used to be sold in stores.

"You know what you know what you know what you know what I think it's time we went back to the pet shop," she said quickly, the sugar beginning to take its toll, making her more hyperactive. "I'm with Sunil I don't feel too good myself."

Russell poked his little hedgehog head out of the flour bin. "Pepper's right," he said as he hopped down to the floor. "We're done here. This sugar is bad for us anyway." He ran to the door and pushed on it, expecting it to open.

"I'll bet Blythe's really worried about us," Zoe figured. "Unless she's already forgotten all about us."

Russell pushed on the door as hard as he could, but try as he might, it wouldn't budge. He strained against it, but the door remained shut.

"We'll never know," he said breathlessly. He took a deep breath, then shouted: "BECAUSE THE DOOR'S STUCK!" He tried pushing on the door again. "I told you this was a bad idea. We're going to be stuck in here forever! We're cut off from the outside world, like a remote tribe on a jungle island!"

"Can I be the chief?" Vinnie asked.

###########################################

The plan had been to go to Day Camp and play with the pets, but Blythe had some chores to do around the shop first, such as restocking shelves with bags of pet food and cleaning out an empty fish tank – after all, no one wanted to put their fish in a dirty tank.

Blythe finished scrubbing down the counter as Youngmee reorganized the dog food shelf.

"I'll be right back, Youngmee – I'm gonna go check on the pets."

Youngmee simply nodded and kept working, separating the Purina from the Iams, the large breed from the small breed, making sure that the prices were correct, stopping only when she heard Blythe's panicked scream coming from the day camp.

She ran as fast as she could, reach the day camp area in less than a second. "What is it, Blythe? What's wrong?"

"Notice something missing from Day Camp?" Blythe asked.

"Um, the pets?"

"THE PETS! They're missing! Either they just vanished into thin air or someone stole them, but either way, the pets are gone!"

"The pets weren't stolen, Blythe," Youngmee said. "Don't be silly. Nobody's been back here all day. We probably would have noticed any suspicious characters hanging around."

"Good day, my fair maidens," Jasper chimed as he and Sue walked into the room. "Would you care to join us in getting some lunch?"

"We were thinking about trying that new place over on –" Sue began, but Blythe cut her off before she could finish.

"The pets are missing!" she cried. "I need you guys to help me find them!"

"Okay, we will," Sue said. "Just don't go having a panic attack on us. Jasper, Youngmee, you check that half of the day camp; Blythe and I will check this half. Don't worry, Blythe. We'll find them."

Five minutes went by.

"WE CAN'T FIND THEM!" Sue shouted. "They're gone! Gone! Gone, baby, gone!"

Now _who's having a panic attack?_ Blythe thought. "They have to be somewhere around here," she said as she rummaged through the pets' toy chest.

"Oh, Blythe!" Mrs. Twombly's voice came from the front of the shop.

"Hamburgers! You guys keep looking. I'll stall her." She hurried out onto the shop floor, doing her best to make it look like she hadn't been rolling around on the floor, putting on as straight a face as she could, hoping that Mrs. Twombly wouldn't suspect anything.

"Did you call for me, Mrs. Twombly?"

Mrs. Twombly started making her way to the back of the store, Blythe blocking her path the whole way.

"I thought – what are you doing? I thought it may be a good idea to – Blythe, can you please step aside. I thought it may be a good idea for us to take the pets out for a walk."

"That's a great idea, Mrs. Twombly," Blythe said as she kept walking backward, blocking the older woman's path. "But first I wanted to ask you a question about the….The bins of pet kibble!"

"The kibble?"

"Yeah. I'm a little worried that it might be getting stale."

Mrs. Twombly chuckled. "I doubt that, dear. The shelf life of my custom made pet kibble is up to four hundred years. My great-great-great grandmother perfected the formula, after all; it runs in the family."

"Is that right?" Blythe asked. She grabbed Mrs. Twombly by the arm and started walking her towards the front door. "I'd love to hear all about how your grandmother came up with the idea."

"I'm afraid I can't remember all the details, but I do have a government report confirming that it was Henrietta Twombly who patented this pet kibble."

"Then can I see that?"

"Well, okay, but it may take me a while to find it."

"Take your time," Blythe said as Mrs. Twombly headed to her office. She let out a sigh of relief. "Dodged a bullet." She made her way back to the day camp area. "Still no pets?"

"Still no pets," Youngmee reported.

"Okay, fine. If we want to find these pets, we're going to have to think like a pet."

"I don't follow," Jasper said.

No one else said anything, just stared at Blythe in confusion as she began to hop around like a rabbit; flick a hand at the string toys like a cat; crawl around like a dog, stopping when she came close to the far wall.

"I think I see something."

"What is it?" Jasper asked.

"Looks like a hole."

"Yup, definitely a pet magnet," Sue said.

"Do you see anything?" Youngmee asked.

Blythe squinted her eyes; it was dim in the hole, making it difficult to see what may have been on the other side. Her vision got blurry for a moment, but the more she stared into the hole, the clearer her vision became, until she spotted something the size of a small peppermint patty on the floor on the other side of the hole.

"It looks like Buttercream's ribbon." She moved closer to the hole. "Zoe! Pepper! Russell! Minka! Vinnie! Sunil! Penny Ling! Buttercream! Are you in there?" She crawled away from the hole. "No answer."

"Did you really expect them to answer you?" Jasper asked. "A dog can't exactly tell you that she's over there."

 _If only you knew_ , Blythe thought. She knelt back down to look through the hole again. "I think that hole leads to Sweet Delights."

"There's a lot of sugar in there," Jasper pointed out. "That can't be good."

Blythe stood up again. "Can't be good? Jasper, if the pets eat too much sugar, they could get incredibly sick! Or worse yet, some of them might die!" She turned to Youngmee. "You've got to open that door."

"I would," Youngmee said. "But I don't have the key. But Aunt Chrissie has it. What time is it now?"

"About one in the afternoon," Sue replied.

"Then she'll be at her Pilates class. I think I can still catch her."

"Use my scooter, and be quick about it!" Blythe called after Youngmee as the other girl ran out the door. Once Youngmee was out of earshot, she let out a loud moan and started banging her head against the wall.

"Yeah, this kind of stuff always happens to you for some reason," Jasper said as he put a hand on her shoulder.

"You're not helping, Jasper," Sue grumbled.

"I hope Youngmee gets that key and comes back soon," Blythe said as she turned around to lean her back against the wall. "You guys, we have to get the pets out of there, and fast. Too much sugar could kill them."

"She'll be back as quick as she can," Sue assured her.

Blythe could feel her eyes stinging with tears. She turned away from her friends, trying to hide them. She didn't want them to see her crying, not now. It wasn't that she was trying to look tough for them, but rather, she just didn't want them to see her tears.

"Hey, Blythe, it's okay," Jasper said softly. "She'll be back, and then we can get the pets out of there before something terrible happens."

"How do you know that?" Blythe asked quietly. She stepped away from them and sat in the armchair near the tree. "How do you know it isn't already too late?"

"Blythe, I – this is a side of you I've never seen before," Sue said. "Are you okay?"

Blythe wiped her eyes. "I'm fine, Sue. It's just….Thinking about losing the pets is making me think of my mom again."

"Why's that?" Jasper asked.

Blythe wiped her nose with one hand, wiped the tears away with the other. "I was nine when I lost my mother to pneumonia. That was the hardest time of my life. I don't want to go through that again with the pets. That's why I can't lose them."

"I think I understand," Sue said as she joined Blythe, sitting on the floor next to the chair. "The thought of losing the pets is making you think of your mom again." Blythe simply nodded. "Don't worry. We'll get them out of there. Trust me."

Blythe wanted to trust Sue. After all, Sue was her friend.

But deep down, she still couldn't help but worry about the pets.

#####################################

"Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar."

The pets chanted as they waved their lollypops in the air, having formed a pseudo-tribe based solely around sugar. The sugar at this point had taken complete control over them; it was all they could think about, all they could talk about. Their bodies were shaking with hyperactive excitement, and they had constructed a monolith out of bags of sugar and flour in the center of the kitchen, a monolith that they were now dancing around as they chanted, with Penny Ling keeping time on a set of tiny drums made out of ice cream bins and banging on them with lollypops.

Sugar was the only thing they cared about right now – not Blythe, not the pet shop, not the fact that their stomachs were aching from eating so much, not the fact that this stuff was potentially poisonous to all of them – just the sugar. It had become somewhat of a god to them, a deity to be worshipped and celebrated.

Russell, despite Vinnie's earlier request, had been made the chief, and he was standing atop the monolith of sugar and flour in the kitchen, food coloring covering his brown furred face like war paint, lollypops stuck into the quills on his head, a lollypop held in his paws.

"All right, tribes pets, as your chief, I hereby declare martial law and a curfew." He felt himself losing balance. "Never mind." He tumbled off of the monolith, landing in a vat of flour.

None of the other pets heard him anyway – they were too busy gorging themselves on the sweets. Sunil in particular, despite his stomach ache from earlier, was tearing into a pixie stick and pouring the condensed sugar down his throat.

"The-the-the ch-ch-chief has decide – decided that we all should go – GO – nighty-night by eight o'clock at – AT NIGHT!" he said, the sugar continuing to take its toll, affecting his mind and his muscle control.

"Wait a minute, Russell," Pepper said as she and Zoe bounced with hyperactivity. "Who said you were going to be the chief?"

"Well, I am the most intellectual among us all, and therefore, it would stand to reason that a leadership role like this one would go to me. After all, leaders are the ones with superior intelligence."

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-ut V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-Vinnie said he wanted to b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-be the ch-ch-ch-ch-chief," Minka stuttered as she pointed to Vinnie, who was now running in circles, screaming "SUGAR!"

"Yeah, I don't think he's in any condition to lead ants to a picnic, let alone our tribe," Russell said flatly.

"Well," Zoe barked, leaping out of the way as Vinnie went running past, no more than a green blur. "The way I see it, Pepper and I should be the ones leading the tribe."

"That is a ludicrous idea," Sunil said as he swallowed another pixie stick. "Why you two?"

He yelled in fear as Zoe barked at him, Pepper using her tail to knock his pixie sticks away. "Superior strength," Pepper snarled.

"I must admit, Chief Russell, Pepper does have something of a point," Sunil said as he hid behind the small hedgehog.

"Listen here, Smelly Pants, I –" Russell began.

Pepper leaped forward. "Who are you calling Smelly Pants?" she hissed.

"You. I'm calling you a Smelly Pants."

"Yeah, well, you're a – a – you're a Tiny Boy."

 _Is that seriously the best she can come up with?_ Russell silently snarked.

Penny Ling and Buttercream watched the scene unfold from behind the monolith of sugar bags, Penny Ling now sucking on the lollypops she had earlier been using to beat on the drums.

"Are they always so jibbety-jabbety flibbity-flabbity like that?" Buttercream asked before plunging her face into the closest sugar bag.

"You mean talk?" Penny Ling asked. "No, not always. But I like how it's keeping them distracted while we do what needs to be done."

She watched for a second as Russell and Pepper started swatting each other with their paws, their speech having gone incoherent a moment ago. While they were distracted with arguing with each other, Penny Ling and Buttercream pushed the monolith out from the center of the kitchen and closer to the oven, standing atop with, armed with lollypops, an oven rack acting as a perimeter fence.

"We'll be the ones in charge because we'll have all the food," Penny Ling said sinisterly.

#####################################

Youngmee raced down the street as fast as she could, Blythe's scooter already at its top speed, which couldn't have been no more than twenty miles an hour. If she didn't find Aunt Chrissie soon, she wouldn't get the key to Sweet Delights, and if she couldn't get the key, then they wouldn't be able to get the pets out, and she could already tell even before she left that Blythe was on the verge of breaking down because of the pets being trapped next door.

So to say that Youngmee was desperate to get that key would be an understatement. If she didn't get it, then the pets would stay trapped in Sweet Delights until tomorrow morning, and with all that sugar in there, she had no idea how long they would survive.

She reached the Pilates studio after what felt like several hours of driving and hopped off the scooter, not even bothering to remove the helmet. She hurried through the door, catching the receptionist's attention.

"Excuse me, is my Aunt Chrissie here? It's an emergency."

"You just missed her, Youngmee. I think she said she was off to the beauty salon to get a manicure."

Youngmee hurried outside, hopped onto the scooter, and hurried down the street. There was only one beauty salon Aunt Chrissie would go to, and it wasn't that far away.

There was a chance she would still catch Aunt Chrissie before she left there too.

#########################################

Blythe had managed to keep herself from breaking out into a bawling fit, but she was still worried about the pets. There was maybe less than an hour before their owners would be here to pick them up, and if the pets weren't back in Day Camp by then, and if their owners knew that the pets had had sugar.

"We're running out of time," she said as she paced back and forth. "Youngmee, where are you?"

"Don't worry, Blythe," Sue said, trying to reassure her friend. "Youngmee will be back any minute now."

"I sure hope so," Blythe said. "Youngmee, hurry."

#########################################

The other pets had crowded around the bottom of the monolith, the only thing keeping them at bay being the oven rack fence and the occasional smack from one of Penny Ling's lollypops. They were all clamoring for the position of tribal chief, each pet wanting the position for his or her self. Penny Ling and Buttercream would have to work to defend their position as chief and second-in-command respectfully, but they knew that it wasn't going to be easy.

Pretty soon, they would have a fight on their paws.

"Give us our share of the sweet stuff, you two," Russell challenged. "We worked hard to build that monolith that the two of you are standing on, so we deserve a cut of the profits."

"That is most correct," Sunil agreed, bouncing up and down behind Russell, holding a cinnamon stick as though it were a spear. "You will be giving us a place at the table or we will be forced to take some drastic actions."

"And what drastic actions would those be?" Penny Ling challenged him.

"That is a very good question," Sunil said. "Pepper, what drastic actions will we be taking if the panda and the bunny refuse to give us some of the sugary delights?"

"We'll, uh – we'll get really, really mad," Pepper growled.

Penny Ling and Buttercream exchanged a glance with each other, before they started laughing. "We're so scared," they said sarcastically.

"Hey, don't make me come up there and get really mad at you," Pepper hissed, but her threat fell on deaf ears as Penny Ling and Buttercream continued to laugh.

Vinnie raced past, clamoring for sugar. He was beginning to slow down, his hyperactivity waning as the sugar rush wore off. He stopped running as fast, his vision became less blurred, he found his desire for sugar vanishing, and in its place came exhaustion and confusion – confusion about what he had been doing, and confusion about what the other pets were doing, covered in frosting and food coloring and using lollypops and licorice sticks like swords and spears.

And then it hit him – the sugar had done this! The sugar had turned them into raving savages who only wanted more sugar, who worshipped sugar as though it were a god.

"Hey!" he yelled, interrupting everyone's arguments. "Don't you see what's happening? It's the sugar! It's making us all go nuts!"

Buttercream licked a lollypop, which she then pointed at Vinnie. "You're the one who's crazy-daisy far-awaysie."

"What?"

"I don't know," Buttercream said with a shrug of her little bunny shoulders. "This is probably some trick to get our sugary sweets."

Pepper shook her head, finally starting to come down from her own sugar high. "No it's not. Vinnie's right. This is not how friend's treat each other."

"She's right," Russell said as he tried to keep Sunil from sticking a marshmallow to his backside. "This is not how friend's act."

Sunil shook his head and dropped the marshmallow. "I too am very very sorry."

"As am I," Zoe added. "And that whole power trip thing – wow, that was weird."

"Nice try, try-nicers," Buttercream said, waving her lollypop around, not believing a word that had been spoken by any of the pets. "You're trying to soften us up so you can get behind the barry-bo-barricade."

"I can't believe that, Buttercream," Penny Ling said, finally coming down from her own sugar high. "These pets are my friends. They wouldn't do anything like that to us. I know they wouldn't."

"You sure about that?" Buttercream asked. "You sure they won't knock us out and take our place?"

"I'm sure," Penny Ling said as she took Buttercream's little bunny paw in her own. She hopped off the pile of sugar bags and ran over to Sunil and Russell, pulling them in for a big panda bear hug. "I'm sorry."

"Think nothing of it," Russell gasped, straining to breathe in Penny Ling's tight grip.

"Though you may think something of letting us go," Sunil gasped as he felt his breath get taken away. "My ribs are pushing against my lungs."

"Oops." She released them; the boys took in a big gulp of air upon being set free of Penny Ling's crushing grip. For such a little panda, she was surprisingly strong.

"I'm glad we got that out of our systems," Pepper said. "But does anyone know how we're going to get out of here? The door's still stuck, and there's I have no idea how long until our owners show up."

The room was filled with a collective gasp from all the pets. They already had little sense of time, but now, having no real idea of how long they had spent in here, they were starting to panic. Their owners could stop by Littlest Pet Shop any moment, and if the pets weren't there, that would be trouble for Mrs. Twombly. Even if the door weren't stuck, the pets were covered in sugar and frosting and food coloring, and their owners would be left wondering just what they had gotten into.

Either way, they were going to be in big trouble if they didn't get that door open.

################################

Blythe had been pacing around the room so much that Jasper was surprised she hadn't worn a hole into the floor. Not that he could blame her, of course, what with the pets' owners coming to pick up the pets in less than a half hour, and Youngmee still hadn't come back with the key to Sweet Delights just yet.

None of them said anything, they just waited quietly and impatiently for Youngmee to return, or for the pets' owners to arrive, whichever happened first. Blythe was already running several scenarios through her head about what would happen if the pets' owners arrived and the pets weren't in Day Camp – both she and Mrs. Twombly would be held accountable; after all, they were supposed to watch the pets for the day. Mrs. Twombly would lose business, and Blythe would lose her job here. Eventually, word would get around about what had happened, and people would start taking their business elsewhere, such as one of the few remaining Petcos in town or more likely, to Largest Ever Pet Shop, a thought which Blythe dreaded, having seen the inside of that store for herself and knowing firsthand that it wasn't exactly the best place for a pet.

She breathed a sigh of relief when Youngmee ran into the room, a key held in her hand. "Got it!"

"About time," Jasper mumbled.

"Well, she wasn't at Pilates, she wasn't at the beauty parlor, she wasn't at Tick Tock, and I finally caught up to her outside Baskin Robbins. Anyway, let's go get those pets."

The four of them hurried out of Day Camp, sped past Mrs. Twombly, and out the shop's door and around the corner.

"We have to do this fast," Youngmee said as she put the key in the lock. "Aunt Chrissie's coming back tonight."

"And the pets' owners will be here in about twenty minutes," Blythe said as Youngmee turned the key. "Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay."

"Anyone care to guess that they're in the kitchen?" Jasper asked, pointing to the double glass doors covered with frosting and food coloring on the other side.

The four of them grabbed the doors, Blythe and Sue grabbing the handles with Youngmee and Jasper helping them pull. The doors were stuck together, making them difficult to move; in fact, they barely budged no matter how hard they all pulled.

"On three," Blythe said as she planted her feet on the floor. "One. Two. THREE!"

The four of them pulled on the doors as hard as they could; the doors opened, knocking them back, the eight pets tumbling out from the kitchen, sugar, frosting, and sprinkles tumbling with them.

"What happened to you guys?" Blythe asked. "You're a mess."

"So's the kitchen," Sue pointed out.

Indeed, the kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off, with bins of sugar and flour turned over, the walls covered with frosting and sugar, food coloring and sprinkles splattered and scattered all over; the refrigerator was hanging open, ingredients falling out of their containers; carts had been upturned; lollypops, licorice, pixie sticks, and cinnamon sticks were scattered along the floor and stuck in the massive pile of sugar in the far corner.

"Okay, pets fist, kitchen second," Blythe said. "Let's move!"

####################################

It was the fastest Blythe had ever bathed the pets, even with her friends helping her; and surprisingly enough, they'd also managed to get the kitchen over at Sweet Delights cleaned up as well. Now all Blythe wanted to do was relax and breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the pets were safe, though their stomachs were probably disagreeing with them.

So she was sitting in the armchair, the pets gathered around her as they listened to Minka's version of the events that had happened next door.

"And Russell was all like 'Penny Ling, Penny Ling, let me have some sugar!' and Penny Ling was all like 'Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!' "

"I don't talk like that, Minka," Penny Ling said.

"Roll with it," Pepper said from her hiding place in the towel bin. "Besides, she's giving you better lines than you had in the kitchen."

"I guess one good thing came out of this," Blythe said as she picked Buttercream Sundae up off the floor. "We made a new friend."

"Gee, thanks," Buttercream said.

Blythe reached into her bag. "You guys have had enough treats to last you a life time, so now it's my turn. If you hadn't gorged yourselves on sugar – and if your stomach could even handle it in the first place – I'd share these with you." He pulled out what looked like a melted popsicle in a plastic wrapper.

The pets all screamed and scattered, wanting nothing more to do with any sweets and wanting to get as far away from the icing pop as possible.


	14. Trading Places

TRADING PLACES

VINNIE, SUNIL, PEPPER, AND MINKA WERE TOSSING A BALL BACK AND FORTH between each other, and Russell was lounging in the tire swing, but Zoe didn't care about any of that. She was staring at the picture she held in her paws, a picture of a handsome brown and tan cocker spaniel named Digby. He had only visited once, but from the moment he walked through that door with his owner, he was all Zoe could think about that day.

And now he was going to return to Littlest Pet Shop!

"You just can't wait for him, can you, Zoe?" Penny Ling asked as she swallowed the kibble she had been chewing on.

"It's been two months, three weeks, five days, twelve hours, and twenty-seven minutes since was last here, and he stayed for an hour and a half," Zoe swooned. "The smell of dry leaves and rawhide was wafting off of him….I tell you, Penny Ling, a girl would be insane not to fall for that pooch."

"He…must be some dog, then."

"He's in a canine class all by himself," Zoe replied.

"Does he know how much you like him?"

Zoe let out a little whine of sadness. "We keep missing each other, so I haven't been able to talk to him. Take tomorrow, for example. I'd normally be here to visit, but there's a problem." She lowered the picture from her face, revealing the ugly, blistering red boil on the tip of her snout. "This. I have to get this unsightly freckle covered up, meaning that I'll miss him once again. Otherwise Digby would know all about how large the crush I have on him is."

"Yeah, about that," Penny Ling said. "That's no freckle. That's a boil."

"Boil? As in, a zit? A wart? An unsightly, festering, putrid facial blemish?"

"Yup."

Zoe's squeal of terror was loud enough to shatter the glass panes in the shop and hurt the shoppers' eardrums.

"It gets worse," Penny Ling continued after Zoe had stopped screaming. "Digby's not coming tomorrow. He'll be here in less than an hour."

Zoe screamed again, this time loud enough to shatter the glass panes of Largest Ever Pet Shop, all the way on the other side of town.

"We have to do something about this zit," Zoe said breathlessly when she finished screaming…again. "And we have to do something about it now, before Digby gets here."

"Way ahead of you," Penny Ling said. She hurried over to the supply closet, the other pets watching, confused, as she started moving things around, searching. "No. No, that won't work. Where is it? I know Blythe put it in here the other day. A-HA!" She stepped out of the closet, a roll of white medical tape in her paw. "This should work. Hold still, Zoe."

It was difficult for Zoe to remain in one place as Penny Ling began wrapping her nose in the medical tape. Layer after layer covered her nose from the tip of her snout all the way to the boil on her nose.

"Penny Ling, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Zoe asked.

"Of course I'm sure," Penny Ling said. "Remember when Sunil hurt his paw the other day? I saw how Blythe taped him up. I know what I'm doing." She tore the tape as she finished patching up Zoe's face. "There we go."

Zoe stepped in front of the window to look at her reflection. She was no longer looking at a beautiful, pure-bred, five-time dog show champion, but rather, a dog that looked like an ugly, mixed-breed mutt.

"It's hideous!" she squealed.

"I don't think anyone's going to notice," Penny Ling assured her.

"Get real, Penny Ling. You saw all the other pets watching us. They've noticed."

"Gee, Zoe, what happened to your nose?" Vinnie asked.

"My point exactly." She sighed. "If only I hadn't missed Digby yesterday."

"Uh, Zoe, you really need to find a sense of time," Penny Ling said. "Remember? I told you he'd be in today?"

"Oh fudge, that's right."

Just then, they heard a soft, smooth, suave voice speak up – "Hello, Penny Ling."

Zoe quickly ducked behind Penny Ling as Digby strutted past. Penny Ling moved to block Zoe from his view as he walked by, an air of confidence radiating off of him.

"Hi Digby."

Zoe waited until Digby was out of earshot – not an easy thing for a dog, as dogs have excellent hearing; Zoe could hear the mailman from five blocks away – before whispering to Penny Ling.

"You. Me. Talk. Now." She pulled Penny Ling behind the toy box, out of sight of the other pets, who were off playing, not noticing what Zoe and Penny Ling were up to.

In fact, they barely seemed to notice or care that Digby had arrived. Minka, Pepper, and Sunil were throwing a ball back and forth while Russell and Vinnie were playing a game of Tag. They only stopped when they heard Blythe's voice.

"Hey guys, check it out." She held up a white backpack with pink and purple circles and polka dots scattered about. She set it down and opened it up, letting the pets look at it, oohing and aweing with delight. "There's room in here for everything I'll ever need for school."

School….One of the many human places that Russell wished he could visit. From everything he'd been told, it sounded like an incredible place, a place of learning, of meeting with friends, but most of all, learning. An intellectual adventure that he could only dream about. In his mind, he could see and hear and smell it all – the students at their lockers, the books on the desks, the chalk on the blackboard, the outdoor sports' area, with football and track and baseball and everything one would need for fun and exercise. He imagined being the star player on the football team – even though he would probably end up being the football – and being awarded the prestigious Best Student Pet Award upon graduation.

Graduation – a time of celebration, of remembrance, of looking forward to the next step in this adventure known as life.

Of course, that was something only humans could experience, meaning that, as a hedgehog, Russell could not.

His daydreaming was interrupted by the sound of a car horn outside.

"That's my dad. I'd better get going. As Tigger always says, TTFN – Ta Ta For Now." She slipped her backpack over her shoulders and hurried out the door –

Unaware that Russell had stowed away in the bag.

"Blythe's not going to be very happy when she finds Russell in her new backpack," Minka said.

" _Mrs. Twombly_ isn't going to be very happy when she finds out he's gone AWOL," Pepper said.

"Well, looks like we'll just have to cover for him until he gets back," Vinnie said. "How hard can it be?"

"Vinnie, what do you think we are, magicians?" Sunil asked. The other pets just stared at him. "Oh. Right. Sometimes I forget my own hobbies."

################################

Penny Ling poked her head out the little pet door to check on Digby. He was lying on a nearby pet bed, fast asleep.

"Hiding from him all day doesn't make sense," she said as she pulled her head back into the day camp.

"No, this ostrich egg on my face doesn't make sense!" Zoe snapped.

"Do you really think Digby's going to care about some silly little bandage?" Penny Ling asked. "I'm sure he's the sensitive, caring type."

"Is he? Or is he the totally superficial type who only cares about looks and not personality? I'll never know, BECAUSE I CAN'T FACE HIM WITH THIS THING ON MY NOSE!" She stopped; her ears pirked up; a wide smile spread across her face. "IDEA!"

 _This can't be good,_ Penny Ling thought as she rolled her eyes.

"I can't talk to him, but you can."

"Wait, what? Me, talk to the dog that you like?"

"Sure. Here, let me tell you what you need to do."

##################################

Traffic in Downtown City was always rough, but at half past seven in the morning? Blythe figured that rush hour would be in the afternoon, when everyone was coming home from work and school. Then again, at this time in the morning, everyone was going to work or school, so she figured it made sense for traffic to be so backed up like this.

It was somewhat amazing that Roger was able to weave through the traffic, finding any opening he could as he made his way to the high school. When he wasn't rocking out to the radio – assuming they were playing his favorite bands, like Queen or AC/DC – he was a great driver, befitting an airline pilot.

It was the first relaxing ride she'd had in a while, since they first moved here.

"You know what would be a great idea, Dad?" she asked as she drank her orange juice – they'd stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. "A backpack for a pet. A Pet Pack."

"That is a great idea," Roger agreed. "Then you could take a new animal to school with you every day."

"Too bad school's a no pet zone," Blythe reminded him.

The sound of a zipper caught her attention. She looked over to her backpack, saw Russell climbing out of it.

Her first instinct was to yell in surprise.

"What's the matter?" Roger asked.

"We need to turn around," Blythe quickly said as she stuffed Russell back into the bag, hoping Roger wouldn't see him. "I think I forgot some facial tissue." Roger reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a small pack. "And cotton balls." Roger procured a bag of cotton balls from the glove compartment. "And my favorite hair brush."

Roger reached into the center console and pulled out three, each one a different color – blue, orange, and red. "Which one?"

 _This isn't getting me anywhere,_ Blythe thought. _I can't keep saying I forgot something when he's already got it on standby! I guess Dad knows me better than I thought._

"You know what, never mind," she said as they pulled up to the school. "I think I can survive one day without them."

"If you insist."

Blythe kissed Roger on the cheek as she climbed out of the car, waved to him as he drove off. Once he was out of sight, she looked over her shoulder, at the tiny brown hedgehog looking back at her.

"Hi," he said with a nervous laugh.

"What the what are you doing?" she hissed. "I can't believe you, Russell."

"Hey, I just wanted to visit school for once. Is that such a crime?"

"You're going to get me into big trouble if you're spotted. And even more if you're not back at Day Camp by three. Look, just stay in my bag until school lets out, okay. I need you to stay out of sight."

"Just get me an apple, a bottle of water, and stick me in the locker," Russell said. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Just then, the fire alarm rang.

"You had to say it, didn't you?" Blythe asked flatly as students hurried out of the building. She weaved through the throng of students, trying not to get trampled as they hurried past.

"Attention, students," the principle's voice came over the speaker system. "Disregard that fire alarm. Some ding-dong thought it'd be funny to watch the sprinklers go off. Please return to your classes."

Again, Blythe had to dodge the stampede of her fellow students as they raced back to the building.

 _Seriously!_ She started walking up to the steps, only to stop at the door when she noticed something was missing from hers shoulders.

Her backpack was gone!

She looked back at the walkway leading to the door, hoping to spot it. All she saw were some scattered tissues and cotton balls, but no backpack.

She hurried inside, scanning the floor and the lockers, hoping to spot it. It was unique to her; it was going to stick out, and if she spotted Russell poking his prickly little head out, then she was bound to spot it.

There it was, just sitting on the floor near a locker, safe and sound, not a scratch on it. She picked it up, slung it over her shoulders, and hurried to her locker, desperate to open it, to check on Russell.

Russell wasn't there!

In its place was a tag – "Property of Brittany Biskit".

That couldn't be right. As far as Blythe knew, she was the only one with this kind of backpack. There was no way that Brittany would have the same kind of backpack. It was impossible! This one was unique to Blythe, not anyone else, so how could Brittany have the same thing?

A shrill scream filled the air – Brittany, screaming and reeling at the sight of Russell poking out of the bag that actually belonged to Blythe. She saw Russell leap out of the bag and run down the hall, out of sight.

 _This isn't good._

 _#################################_

Russell ran through the halls, dodging students' feet as he swerved to avoid getting stepped on. He chattered in fear as he sped through the halls as fast as his tiny hedgehog legs could carry him. He had to get away, to find someplace safe.

Blythe stopped by the twins – Whittany was fanning Brittany, who had collapsed in a state of shock – and picked up her bag, placing Brittany's on the floor next to the other girl.

"HereyougoBritourbackpacksgotmixedupinthefirealarmcrazyhuhseeyalater!" she said quickly, hurrying after Russell, who was now halfway down the hall. If the students weren't in the way, Blythe figured she would be able to catch up to him no problem.

But there was a problem – Russell had bounded down the stairs, out of her sight, and even worse, it was time for class.

She would have kept looking for him, had the hall monitor not begun his rounds. She couldn't be in the halls during class hours without a pass.

She would have to look for him after class. Besides, Russell would be fine as long as he found a safe place to hide.

How much trouble could one little hedgehog get into, anyway?

######################################

Sawyer answered the phone after the second ring. He was part-time high school janitor, part-time pest exterminator. While he often dealt with insects and arachnids, his area of expertise was rodents – be they mice, rabbits, skunks, groundhogs, or the rare prickly rat. He even exterminated a capybara that had escaped from someone's private zoo once.

So whenever the phone rang, he got excited. Every hunt, every extermination was different, a new challenge, a new adversary.

The person on the other line was frantic, speaking as though she were calling the police after someone had broken into her house.

"You don't say. Ran right out of a girl's book bag, huh? Well, don't you worry. I've got that prickly rat right in my sights. That thing won't be terrorizing anyone while I'm around." He hung up and picked up his net –

Just as the prickly rat went scurrying past.

"You can't outrun me, prickly rat!" he called as he hurried after the little rodent.

#################################

Zoe and Penny Ling hid behind the tree, watching as Digby exercised. They were amazed that he could pull himself up on that bar using his ears; a normal dog would have seriously hurt himself trying that. The same could not be said for his push ups, though it was still rare to see a dog doing something like that.

"You're going to have to do this, Penny Ling," Zoe said. She had spent…how long had she spent? An hour? Three hours? She hated not being able to tell the time sometimes – trying to convince Penny Ling to go out there and talk to Digby in her place.

"It should be you, Zoe," Penny Ling said.

"It should be me, but it can't be me, not with this horrible thing sticking out of my face. He needs to hear it from someone close to me. And I would prefer that that someone didn't have a zeppelin growing off of her face."

Penny Ling rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll do it. But only because you asked, Zoe."

"Thank you so much, Penny Ling." She held up a stack of index cards that she had made up earlier. "I just require you to memorize a few select talking points."

"That looks like more than a few," Penny Ling said as she stared, disbelieving, at the stack of cards held in Zoe's paws. "More like a few hundred. Do you really expect me to memorize all that? What's on those cards, anyway?"

"Penny Ling, have you ever met me? There's more to tell him about than just why I can't see him right now."

Penny Ling felt a pit in her stomach. She was beginning to wish Zoe hadn't dragged her into this.

###############################

Russell's lungs were burning as he ran through the halls. He could hear that human, the man with the net, closing in on him.

"There'll be no prickly rat on my performance review, you little fiend!"

 _Hide, hide, I have to hide!_ He rounded a corner, nearly slamming into the wall; spotted a water pipe near a door, a door with an open window, just wide enough for him to fit into. He climbed up the pipe and slipped through the window. A second later, he heard the man run past.

He'd just barely avoided getting caught.

#################################

Penny Ling had no choice; she had to talk to Digby in Zoe's place. She looked at the cards she held in her paws, reviewing her lines, the knot in her stomach tightening as she walked over to the male dog.

"Um, excuse me, Digby? I, uh, I have to tell you how Zoe fells about you."

Digby cocked his head in confusion. "Excuse me? You have to tell me?"

Penny Ling let out a nervous chuckle and started reading the cards. "I mean, um, I have to tell you that…." She looked down at the card on top of the stack. "You really stand out to her when you visit us."

"Wait, I stand out?" he repeated.

"Uh…." She saw Zoe peeking out from behind the tree, urging her to continue. "Yes. Yes you do. Not only that," she continued, "but you smell."

"Huh?"

"Sorry, I think that might be a dog compliment. What I meant to say was, you have canine charisma to spare."

"Oh, is that what she said?" Digby asked as he continued to do his exercises, a smile slowly growing on his furred face.

Zoe let out a quiet sigh of relief. This may just turn out okay after all.

#######################################

Russell clung to the pipe, holding on for as long as he could as he shimmied his way along the roof of what he guessed was some sort of medical office, given the shelves of medical supplies and doctor's table below him. He took a glance over his shoulder, looking down, and saw them.

The Biskit Twins.

Brittany was hyperventilating. Whittany rolled her eyes and smacked her sister. "Hey, Brit, the medicine lady said you need to, like, chill out, okay?" she hissed.

"I'm trying to," Brittany gasped. "But how can I? I was almost attacked by that monster!"

"Yeah, well, I'm trying to figure out what's worse," Whittany said. "Coming face to face with that creature or finding out that you have the same backpack as Blythe."

"Uh, I'll go with the second one."

"Yeah, same."

Russell narrowed his eyes in anger. It was one thing to insult Blythe's ingenious design – the fact that Whittany had something identical to it was pure coincidence – but to call him a monster? That was low, even for the meanest girls he knew.

 _I am not a monster!_ he silently fumed. _I'm a hedgehog!_ He lost his grip on the pipe, fell, landed on the stool, right in front of the twins, who ran off screaming.

Russell hurried out of the room, barely avoiding the nurse's massive foot. He turned and ran down the hall as fast as his legs could carry him –

Only to be met by the exterminator's net.

"I got you now, you prickly rat." He got ready to bring the net down on Russell, shifting his weight as he brought the net up, readying his swing.

One foot slipped on the floor, causing him to lose his balance and topple over. Russell wasted no time, running away as fast as he could.

"Darn janitors, put too much wax on the floor," the exterminator hissed as he climbed to his feet. "There's not a prickly rat in the world who can outrun me, you hear me, you vermin!"

########################################

Blythe could barely concentrate in any of her classes today. All her thoughts, all her focus, was on Russell. She hadn't seen him since he escaped from Whittany and Brittany, so of course she was worried about him. He could be anywhere, he could be lost, and hungry, and scared.

If only he hadn't stowed away this morning, this wouldn't have happened. She wouldn't have lost him, she wouldn't be worried sick about him, and she wouldn't look like an idiot searching everywhere both between and during class. She'd looked in her desk, in her teachers' desks, in her locker – both in the hallway and in the locker room for gym class – she'd looked under the bleachers, in the trash cans in the classes and the halls – which upset a prickly rat who had been taking a nap in the garbage – and now, in the lunch room, she was looking in trash cans and in other student's trays, warranting strange looks from everyone who saw her.

"Lose something, Blythe?" Jasper asked with a giggle.

"You've been acting weird all day," Sue observed.

"It's Russell," Blythe said. "He followed me to school, and I lost him in the fake fire alarm this morning. You guys haven't seen him, have you?" Her answer was three heads all shaking in reply. "Oh."

"The closest I've seen of him today was the lunch lady's scrub brush," Youngmee said.

"And the school mascot," Jasper added. "Imagine if Russell got hit with Wayne Szalinski's enlarging ray from _Honey I Blew Up The Kid_ – Russellzilla!"

"This is serious, Jasper!" Blythe snapped. "If I don't find Russell soon and get him back to Littlest Pet Shop, I'm going to be in so much trouble! Mrs. Twombly will probably fire me, and Russell's owners will never trust me again!" She slammed her head against the table. "If he didn't stow away, I wouldn't be a nervous wreck."

###########################################

Penny Ling had spent the last half hour talking about Zoe, telling Digby about how flawlessly groomed she was, how she had the most adorable puppy dog eyes, but the more she talked, the more nervous she became. She was doing everything she could to avoid telling him about the blemish on her nose, but she was running out of things to talk about.

"Look, Penny Ling," Digby said as he did curls with a dog bone. "I get that Zoe's awesome and all that, but why can't she come out and tell me this herself?"

"Oh, uh, well, you see…."

"I know she's around here somewhere," Digby said. "I can smell her and I can hear her shuffling around. So what's the deal?"

"It's her nose," Penny Ling blurted out.

Digby tilted his head in confusion. "I don't get it. What's wrong with her nose?"

"Oh, uh, I said, who knows," Penny Ling fibbed. "She hasn't been herself lately."

"Well, that's a shame," Digby said as he set the bones on the floor. "But she's not the one I'm talking to. So instead of telling me all about Zoe, how about you tell me a little bit about yourself, Penny Ling."

"Wait, what?" Penny Ling asked, completely caught off guard.

 _Wait, what!_ Zoe thought angrily. She'd been listening in from behind the tree, and from the sound of things, it almost seemed as though Penny Ling was trying to steal her crush from her!

No, that wasn't it. There was no way that was what was going on.

"Snack time, sweeties!" she heard Mrs. Twombly call from the shop floor.

#########################################

Vinnie hurried over to Minka, who had spent the past hour and a half putting together a fake Russell made out of paper towel and toilet paper rolls. She'd also drawn a little smile on the piece of cardboard she had used for the fake Russell's face.

"What do you think?" Minka asked. "My greatest work yet?"

"It's not bad," Vinnie said. "But he'll never fool Mrs. Twombly up close." They watched as the cardboard head fell off and landed on the floor. "Especially without a head."

"Mrs. Twombly will be back here any second!" Sunil panicked. "What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO!"

Pepper spoke up. "Minka, you go distract Mrs. Twombly. Ask for belly rubs, steal a treat, do monkey things, just distract her. The rest of us will come up with a more convincing Russell stand-in."

"You got it, Sergeant Skunk," Minka said with a quick salute. She hurried out the small pet door and into the shop.

Mrs. Twombly had just finished pouring the pet snacks into a bowl. She hopped up onto the counter, screeching and chattering, pointing to her mouth with a paw.

"You really want your treat, don't you?" Mrs. Twombly asked. "Okay." She picked up a chewy star piece. "Here you go." Minka swiped the snack from Mrs. Twombly's hand and popped it into her mouth. "Not too many now. Have to save some for the other pets." She picked up the bowl and started making her way to Day Camp.

 _Uh oh. Gotta stall her, FAST!_ She scampered as fast as she could to block Mrs. Twombly's path, laying down on the floor, her belly facing up.

"Belly rubs now?" Mrs. Twombly asked. "It'll have to wait, Minka. Everyone needs their treats first." She walked past Minka.

 _Need a new plan. I got it!_ She raced for Mrs. Twombly's office. _Doorknob, doorknob, doorknob!_

There were hundreds of doorknobs to choose from, so she took the first one she saw, a golden doorknob lying in a metal bucket near the desk.

With the doorknob in hand, she hurried to block Mrs. Twombly's path again, stopping her at the door to Day Camp, holding the doorknob high above her head in her little monkey paws.

"Minka!" Mrs. Twombly gasped. "What did I say about getting into my collection, you naughty monkey?" She reached for the doorknob. Minka scampered off, running past Mrs. Twombly. "Put that doorknob down!" she called after Minka. "You don't know where it's been! For that matter, neither do I."

She chased Minka around the room, behind the counters, around the shelves, finally catching up to the little monkey near the front counter. She dove for Minka.

Minka leaped out of the way; Mrs. Twombly fell into a stack of dog food bags.

"Ouch!" She shook her head. Minka scampered up to her, the doorknob held out in front of her. "Who knew chasing a monkey with a doorknob would be such good exercise?" she chuckled.

###############################

Blythe had immediately left the lunchroom and resumed her search for Russell. If she didn't have to get to class, her search would have gone uninterrupted. But the classes, they seemed to go on forever. She constantly found herself glancing at the clock, wishing for the class to end so she could continue her search. She was certain that she had flunked that test in chemistry because of her jitteriness.

The second class let out, she resumed her search, running through the halls, looking everywhere she could, even calling out for Russell in the hopes that he would hear her.

The garbage in a nearby trash can began to vibrate.

 _Yes! I've found him!_ She took a quick look around to make sure no one could see her, and then removed a crumpled up piece of paper from the top of the garbage.

It wasn't Russell, just a prickly rat.

"Do you mind?" he scolded. "I'm trying to get comfy here."

"Oops. Sorry." She put the paper back and went off to continue her search.

She never noticed Russell hurrying down the other hallway, arriving at the same trash can just a few seconds later.

Russell poked his head out from behind the trash can, looking for the exterminator. He'd spent the entire day running from him, and he was starting to get tired. And hungry. If he hadn't gotten separated from Blythe earlier, he wouldn't be enduring this, wouldn't be running for his life.

"Hey!" Russell looked up to the top of the trash can; the prickly rat was throwing garbage at Russell. "Beat it, pal. This is my trash can."

 _Wow,_ Russell thought as he walked away. _That rat IS prickly._

 _#####################################_

Zoe had been hiding for the past hour, spying on Penny Ling and Digby. After hearing what Digby had said to Penny Ling, she refused to let them out of her sight. She didn't want them doing anything she didn't like, and so far, she didn't like the fact that they were simply just talking to each other, sitting in the tire hanging from the tree, laughing at a joke that Digby had told.

It made Zoe's blood boil. She knew it wasn't her intent, but it seemed like Penny Ling was trying to take Digby away from her.

 _Digby is mine, darn it!_ she silently growled.

There had to be a way to separate them, some way to drive them apart and get Digby back, all to herself. But the question was, how?

She sat on her pet bed, watching them, wondering just what she could do to get Digby back from Penny Ling. At the same time, she couldn't help but wonder why she was so jealous. After all, she had asked Penny Ling to talk to Digby in her place, so she supposed that it made sense for them to start getting a little bit closer.

She was starting to regret having asked Penny Ling to do this favor for her. It wasn't turning out the way she had wanted.

Her anger built and grew until she could no longer hold it in; she had to take her anger out on something, and that cardboard version of Russell that Vinnie had been making was the perfect target. She dug her teeth into the towel rolls, chewing and ripping and tearing until there was nothing left.

"Uh, Zoe? We kind of needed that," Vinnie said.

Zoe spit out a piece of cardboard. "I'm sorry, Vinnie. I don't know what came over me. It's just that –" Before she could finish, she tripped over a roll she hadn't chewed on, landing on her face, her tail and back legs sticking up in the air.

"Wait a minute," Vinnie said. "Zoe, I think you just gave me a killer idea."

"What? How?"

"Zoe, you're a genius," Pepper said. "Look at you. You look like Russell when you sit like that." She looked around. "Where's Minka? We need to borrow some paint."

#############################################

It was by pure random chance that Blythe spotted Russell in Mrs. Mondt's class, reclined against a stack of books, chewing on an apple. She ignored the quills poking into her arms as she picked him up and hugged him.

"I've been looking for you everywhere! I'm so glad you're safe."

"Join the club," Russell said. "Blythe, I don't think school is a good place for a hedgehog, so I'm dropping out. Hey, do you know what time it is? I need to get back before snack time."

"It's…." She looked up at the nearby clock. "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh? Uh-oh is never a good thing."

"It's nearly three! If I don't get you back right now, we'll both be in big trouble! Your owner's going to be by LPS any minute! We gotta go!" She tucked Russell into her backpack and ran for the door as fast as she could, rushing past her fellow students. "Excuse me! Pardon me! Coming through! Make way! Emergency!"

She never noticed the exterminator until she ran into him.

Russell hid in Blythe's backpack as the exterminator ran past, swung his net –

And scooped up the prickly rat from earlier.

"About time I got you, you little varmint."

Blythe ignored him as she ran out the doors and hailed a taxi. "I need to get to Littlest Pet Shop. Like, right now!"

The taxi driver slammed his foot down on the accelerator, speeding down the street, swerving past the other cars –

Only to get stopped by a red light.

###############################

Zoe had no choice but to endure the humiliation as Vinnie and Sunil painted her tail brown to help better resemble Russell, had no choice but to sit and let Pepper dry the paint with a hair dryer she had found in Blythe's room earlier.

"One last thing," Pepper said. She slipped a pair of joke glasses onto Zoe's tail. "There. Done."

As soon as they blocked the rest of Zoe with a pet bed, the door opened; Mrs. Twombly walked in, carrying a tray of snacks in one hand, Minka in the other.

"Sorry your treats are so late today, sweeties," she said. "But Minka decided to play a game of keep-away with one of my doorknobs."

The pets all grimaced; what if Mrs. Twombly found out that Russell had gone with Blythe? What if she found out that they were trying to cover for him?

They had no time to think as Mrs. Twombly set Minka down and got ready to hand out the pet treats.

##################################

The red light hadn't lasted very long, but the traffic jam on the bridge did. Blythe had only been here for less than a minute, but it felt like an eternity, and the seconds were ticking away. She didn't have time to be sitting here; she had to get going, had to get back to Littlest Pet Shop as soon as she could.

The shop was still at least two miles away, but she figured that if she ran as fast as she could, she would be able to make it in less than twenty minutes. She pulled a wad of cash out of her backpack and handed it to the taxi driver, then climbed out of the cab, slung her backpack over her shoulders, and started running, sprinting as fast as she could.

She'd only been running for a few seconds when she felt herself begin to tire out. At this rate, she would never make it back to Littlest Pet Shop in time. She tried to get a ride from a cyclist, but he refused, since he was just going down the block a short ways, so she needed to find another method of travel.

That pile of wood and scrap seemed to hold some promise, and in just a few seconds, she had crafted herself a makeshift skateboard.

It worked, getting her down the street faster than simply running, but as she began to roll down a steep hill, she remembered just why she never enjoyed skating in the first place, as she began to pick up so much speed she began to wonder if she would ever stop.

A few seconds later, she was running through the door to Littlest Pet Shop; Russell hopped out of her backpack and ran for Day Camp, pushing Zoe out of the way and catching the treat Mrs. Twombly had tossed in his mouth.

"Nice catch, Russell," she complimented him. Russell heard the other pets sigh in relief, and wondered just what had happened while he was gone.

But that could wait. Right now, it was just good to be home.

#####################################

Russell's hit had sent Zoe sliding across the floor. She didn't stop until she ran into Digby. She quickly covered her nose with her paws, not wanting him to see the terrible blemish that had grown on her face.

"Zoe, where've you been?" Digby asked. "Penny Ling's been telling me about you and your poor nose."

"She – she what?"

"You're lucky to have such a good friend."

"I – I guess I am," Zoe said, now suddenly feeling guilty for being so jealous, even if the jealousy had only lasted for a few moments.

"I wish we could have spent more time together," Digby continued. "But my owner's here, so I must say farewell." He rubbed his nose against hers. "Until we meet again, Zoe my dear."

Zoe watched as Digby walked out the door, his owner in tow. As soon as they were gone, she turned to Penny Ling.

"He doggy-kissed my nose!"

"Yes, I saw that," Penny Ling said. "Maybe you should keep the bandage. Digby seemed to like it."

Zoe looked at herself in the window. "Hmm. Nope. As soon as that blemish is gone, so is the bandage." She turned to Russell. "And how was your day?"

Russell let out an exasperated sigh. "You don't want to know. Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be taking a nap."

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: SORRY THIS ONE TOOK SO LONG TO GET OUT. I WAS BUSY WITH WORK AND YOUTUBE AND STARTING UP ANOTHER STORY, SO I DIDN'T HAVE AS MUCH TIME TO DO THIS ONE AS I WOULD HAVE LIKED. HOPEFULLY THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS WON'T TAKE AS LONG TO GET OUT. THANKS FOR BEING SO PATIENT.**


	15. Sweet (Truck) Ride

SWEET (TRUCK) RIDE

DESPITE THE INCIDENT WITH THE PETS IN THE PANTRY A FEW WEEKS AGO, SWEET Delights had opened up without any trouble. The first week the store had been open were some of the busiest days Blythe had seen on this street corner since the night she helped save Littlest Pet Shop. She and Youngmee had had more time to meet up after school and on weekends, and they even helped out with each other's stores, assuming they were able to.

And now they were just waiting for Aunt Chrissie to come back with the vehicle she had gone off to fetch.

"What kind of car did she say it was again?" Blythe asked as the two girls watched the street.

"She didn't say," Youngmee said. "All she said was that it was going to be a surprise. Maybe it'll be a convertible?"

"Or it'll have spinning rims," Blythe guessed. "Imagine you pulling up to school in one of those. The twins would have to respect you then."

"Yeah. Wait, maybe it'll be one of those cute little Beetles. But what color? Turquoise or candy apple?"

"I don't know, but it'll be one sweet ride."

"I see what you did there."

The sound of a car horn reached their ears, the sound of a car engine following a second later, and around the corner came….It was not what they had expected.

They were expecting some kind of car, not a box truck. It looked like a pink ice cream truck, but instead of having a big vinyl ice cream cone on top, it had a giant vinyl cupcake with the word "Sweets" spray painted on the side. The outside of the truck resembled the outside of the sweet shop, or some sort of sidewalk café, and Blythe and Youngmee dreaded what the inside may have looked like.

This truck had shattered their expectations, and not in the good way. They had expected something cool, something that would get them noticed, make them popular at school, and this, this…THING…was the opposite of cool, the opposite of popular. It would get them noticed, but not in the way they had wanted.

"What do you think?" Aunt Chrissie asked as she poked her head out the truck window.

Blythe and Youngmee could only stare in anguish and disgust.

############################

As soon as they heard the vehicle pull up, the pets ran to the window to investigate. From the look of things, Youngmee's Aunt Chrissie had gone and purchased a vehicle for the sweet shop next door. They may not have enjoyed their experience in the pantry with Buttercream Sundae, but they did enjoy the tasty treats, and they watched with baited breath and watering mouths as Blythe and Youngmee helped Aunt Chrissie unload the truck.

"I can smell those goodies all the way over here," Vinnie said.

Pepper chuckled nervously. "That's me, actually," she admitted. "Cupcakes make me happy." She was indeed letting off a smell, but rather than pungent and gut wrenching, it was quite pleasant.

################################

Blythe and Youngmee finished unloading the truck, and then got to work scrubbing the outside of the truck while Aunt Chrissie was once again on one of her many cell phones with some associates.

"No, Milton, I told you, I need those cake boxes today. Girls, circular motions; you cover more area that way. No, Milton, not you. Why would I want circular boxes? Unless you carry circular boxes. Do you? I'll take twenty dozen. That's right, 240 in total."

Blythe wiped some sweat off of her forehead. "You know, it might not be what we were expecting, but I think this Sweet Truck's going to be a big hit at Saturday's picnic."

"That's sponsored by your dad's work, right?"

"Yeah. The airport's father-daughter picnic is Dad's favorite part of the job. He especially loves that three legged race. I'm not kidding, he really gets into it."

"Make way! Coming through!"

Seeing Roger running down the street wouldn't have been so bad, had he not had a crash test dummy tied to him. The two were tied together at the waist and the legs by some thick rope, making Blythe wonder just how he managed to do that. It wasn't the first time she had seen this, but she still had to wonder, considering that he rarely if ever divulged his secrets with her.

But just seeing him out here like this, dressed in a red muscle shirt and shorts, with a blue and white headband around his forehead, with the dummy tied to him….She wasn't sure if she should laugh or hide from embarrassment. She just drooped her shoulders and stared at her father, Youngmee laughing at the whole thing.

"I told you I wasn't kidding," Blythe whispered to Youngmee.

"Hi Mr. Baxter," Youngmee said when she finished laughing. "And…friend."

"Hey there Youngmee," Roger panted. He turned to Blythe. "Ready for the three legged race Saturday?"

"About as ready as I'll ever be," Blythe said.

"You sure? I haven't seen you practicing. Neither has Buddy." He made the dummy shake its head.

Blythe ignored Youngmee's laughter and tried not to focus on the dummy staring at her with that blank face. "Sorry Dad, but between school and work and helping Youngmee and Aunt Chrissie with the new sweet truck, I haven't had the time. You know how it goes."

"But you'll be ready for Saturday, right? Because I've got a reputation to uphold, being six time three legged race champion and all that."

 _Rub it in even more, Dad,_ Blythe thought bitterly. "Well, at least you've got Buddy to keep you company, right?"

"You're right about that, Blythe. Well, gotta keep practicing. Bye, kids." He turned and ran down the street, stumbling as he tried to keep the dummy close to him.

"Six time three legged race champion?" Youngmee asked after she finished laughing. "That's two trophies per leg."

"I'm surprised you haven't seen them," Blythe said. "He keeps them in the kitchen, looking us right in the face." He turned back to the truck, dipped her sponge in the soap bucket, and resumed scrubbing.

##################################

Buttercream Sundae hadn't seen the day campers of Littlest Pet Shop since the day they got locked in the pantry over at Sweet Delights. She knew they harbored no hard feelings against her – after all, it was an accident that they got in that situation to begin with – but hadn't had a chance to visit them since.

That was partly because the sweet shop had been too busy for Buttercream to go next door, not without the risk of running underfoot of every customer in the store. Youngmee and Aunt Chrissie had to keep an eye on her to make sure she didn't get trampled, which thankfully hadn't happened yet.

She made her way through the hole in the wall, leading from Sweet Delights into the day camp, expecting to be greeted by Vinnie or Pepper or Minka, but there was no one around. She looked around the room, poking her head behind the tree and in the fire hydrant, looking in the tire hanging from the tree, looking through the play tubes running along the roof; there was no sign of any pet.

Buttercream hopped her way through the pet door that led to the main shop, spotting the day campers all gathered around one of the display windows and looking out to the street.

"Well well well," she said, catching their attention, "I see you've seen the super-duper-uper-luper sweet truck. Wanna go take a look-see-cook-see?"

"A generous offer, Buttercream, but we can't," Russell replied. "We're really not supposed to leave the shop –" He was cut off by the other pets running over top of him and heading for the door. "Son of a porcupine – wait for me!" He followed the pets outside, onto the sidewalk, and around the corner, meeting up with Blythe, who was still scrubbing the truck.

Blythe watched as the pets started to make their way up the ramp and into the truck.

"Don't remember Aunt Chrissie inviting our furry friends into the truck," she said with a laugh.

"I tried to tell them," Russell said. "But no one ever listens to the hedgehog."

"Let them play in there, Blythe; they're not going to hurt anything," Youngmee said as she came from around the other side of the truck. "They probably just smell all the treats."

 _Someone clearly doesn't remember what happened the last time they got around baked sweets_ , Blythe thought. "Well, let's just hope they don't eat everything in there again," she said.

Russell let out an exasperated sigh, but followed the other pets up the ramp and into the truck.

"Just be careful not to drive it away," Blythe called after them.

"Wait, what?" Youngmee asked.

"I'm kidding," Blythe quickly said. "Pets can't drive. They don't have a driver's license." She let out a nervous laugh as Youngmee just stared at her with a raised eyebrow. _Don't figure it out, don't figure it out._

"You need to work on your jokes," Youngmee said. "Come on, let's put this stuff away."

The two girls dropped their rags into the buckets and carried them back into the store. The cloths were thrown into a trash bin, the water was dumped out of the buckets, and the buckets – after being cleaned out – were put back in a storage cabinet.

"I can't wait until we can drive," Blythe said.

"You and me both," Youngmee agreed. "I don't know about you, but I've always seen myself riding around in a cute little cherry red convertible. Not a bright pink food truck."

"I don't know, Youngmee – imagine how popular we'd be going to school with that truck out there."

"Popular and rich, since we could charge – what's a good price? Fifty cents per cupcake? That'd be pretty sweet. Huh? Huh?"

Blythe just stared at her friend. "When I did it, it was an accident. Now you're just forcing it."

"Yeah, that was pretty bad."

###############################

"We've got everything you need to make sweetsie-treatsies in these handy-dandy-don't call me Andy bodda-bins," Buttercream sputtered as the pets looked around the inside of the truck. There was a stove for baking, a sink for cleaning, bowls and spoons for mixing, and the smells – only the pantry in the sweet shop could compare.

"There's flour," Buttercream continued. "And sugar, and sprinkles and – hey, there's Sugar Sprinkles!"

A small calico cat poked her head out of one of the drawers. Her multi-colored fur was dotted with pink, blue, and white sprinkles. The sweet scent of sugar and cotton candy was wafting off of her, catching the attention of the other pets.

"That's my name, don't wear it out. Wait, CAN you wear out a name? I've never tried. Anyway, who called?" She hopped out of the drawer and landed on the floor. "Hello, pets I've never seen before. I'm Sugar Sprinkles. Welcome to my humble abode."

Penny Ling let out a squeal of glee. "You've got sprinkles in your fur!" She began licking the fur on the cat's head like it were an ice cream cone. "Yummy."

"Penny Ling!" Russell yelled. "What did we tell you about licking a stranger's head?"

"No worries," Sugar Sprinkles said. "Admit it, you wanted a taste too." She sat down and leaned forward. The other pets lined up and took turns licking the sprinkles off of her head, Russell up front and Vinnie bringing up the rear. Vinnie coughed and choked, spitting up a wad of cat hair. "Oops. Sorry about that."

Russell made his way to the cab, climbing up onto the driver's seat. He glanced around, noticing the radio speakers, the gauges, the shifter, the pedals – to his little hedgehog mind, it was a marvel of engineering. It was nothing like his owners' car, which he only ever saw from the confines of his pet carrier. To actually sit where only humans were allowed – it was a marvel, a privilege that, until now, he never would have imagined.

 _What it must be like to command a vessel of this caliber,_ he thought. _To be in the captain's chair! To go where no hedgehog has gone before!_

Perhaps it was because he had watched too many science fiction television shows, or perhaps it was the power he was feeling being in the driver's seat, but he could just imagine – imagine the truck being a state of the art starship on a journey through the galaxy, traveling from one planet to the next, evading hostile alien forces….

"Where are those shields?" he asked out loud, letting his imagination get the better of him. He reached down to push a button on the side of the seat….

The seat snapped closed, before opening again, sending Minka flying to the ignition switch. She grabbed the key, stopping her, but turned the key, starting the truck. A tray that had also been sent into the air hit the shifter, putting the truck from Park to Drive, ricocheting off the shifter and turning on the radio. Vinnie, who couldn't help himself, began dancing to the country song that had started playing, only to step on Sugar Sprinkles' tail.

"Hey, I know you didn't mean that," she said, "but that really hurts my tail, so don't be offended by what I'm about to do, okay?"

"Uh….Okay."

"Thanks for understanding," Sugar Sprinkles said, before letting out the loudest yowl of pain any of them had ever heard. She ran off, knocking Vinnie to the ground as he fell off her tail, slammed into Penny Ling, who slammed into Buttercream, who hit the emergency brake.

"Oopsie dasie."

They felt the truck lurch as it began to roll down the street.

Penny Ling climbed up onto the driver's seat and looked out the window. "Hey, the sidewalk's moving."

"No, it's actually the truck that's moving," Sugar Sprinkles said. "But good eye though."

"The truck's moving on its own!" Sunil cried in terror. "We're doomed! DOOMED!"

"The truck can't be moving on its own," Russell said. "Nobody's driving." He climbed up onto the console, watched as the street moved past at an increasingly fast pace. "Oh no. Nobody's driving the truck!"

"Would now be a good time to panic?" Penny Ling asked.

"Now would be a very good time to panic!" Russell cried.

The pets – minus Vinnie, who was still dancing, and Sugar Sprinkles, who was too busy cuddling with Penny Ling – all screamed in terror.

#####################################

Blythe had intended to open up the truck so Youngmee could load up some more supplies for Saturday, but when she stepped outside, she noticed that the truck was gone, the only sign it had ever been there being the metal ramp, which was now lying on the road.

There was no way it could have just disappeared, and no one in their right mind would steal a box truck filled with cupcakes and pets.

So where had it gone?

The sound of a car horn caught her attention. She turned, looked down the street, saw the sweet truck swerving to avoid oncoming traffic.

The only thing Blythe could think was that somehow, the pets had figured out how to start it and were now driving it.

What she had said earlier, about the pets not taking it for a ride – she had meant it as a joke.

Now she was beginning to wish they'd actually listened to her.

 _How in the world am I going to catch up with it?_ she thought to herself. She looked around, hoping to find something – ANYTHING – that could help her catch up to the truck, her eyes quickly falling upon a little girl and her bicycle.

"Hey, can I borrow this for a bit? It's an emergency."

"My daddy said to not talk to strangers," the girl said.

Blythe silently growled in frustration. She ran back into the sweet shop, coming out a few seconds later with a cupcake. "I'll pay you."

"Deal."

##################################

The pets huddled together, clinging to each other and screaming as the truck barreled down the road, somehow not hitting the other motorists or any pedestrians.

The only one not screaming in terror was Sugar Sprinkles.

"Someday we're going to look back on this and laugh," she said with a chuckle.

"Someone stop this truck!" Russell cried. "Hit the brakes!"

"I would," Pepper said, "but I don't know which pedal's the brake pedal. Is it the skinny one on the right or the fat one on the left?"

"Just pick one!" Russell bellowed.

 _Um, uh….Ennie, meenie, minie – Mo never lies!_ Pepper pressed her paws down on a pedal, the skinny pedal on the right –

Causing the truck to pick up even more speed.

"Don't worry, guys, I got this," Vinnie said as he leaped up onto the steering wheel, moving it left and right with his feet as he continued to dance to the radio. The truck swerved left and right even more severely than it had been earlier. Pedestrians screamed words that the pets hadn't even heard their owners' scream – though they knew that those words weren't meant for children to hear – and angry motorists honking their horns out of fear and rage.

"Vinnie! Stop swerving!" Russell yelled.

"I would if I knew other country steps," Vinnie said.

Minka climbed up onto the shift console. "PRNDL? What's that mean? Is it some kind of potato chip? Oh, wait, 'R' for 'Real straight forward'!" She pulled the shifter back.

The truck stopped, but only for a second, before it began moving backwards.

"Wait, 'D' for 'Don't go backwards'!" The truck began moving forward again.

Pepper and Zoe were pushing against the wide pedal – if the skinny pedal made the truck go faster, then the wide pedal had to slow it down. They pushed against it as hard as they could, but the pedal wouldn't move.

"Penny Ling, we could use some pandassistance," Pepper said. "Like, right now!" Penny Ling opened her mouth to say something, but never had the chance – Zoe grabbed her paw and pulled her to the pedal, making her put all her panda weight down on the pedal.

#################################

Blythe was beginning to wish she'd borrowed a bigger bike from a bigger kid, but at the moment, there wasn't much she could do but try to catch up with the truck as much as she could. She almost reached the truck when it began to back up – the pets must have figured out how to work the shifter – but before she could reach the truck, it started moving forward again.

Not it was starting to slow down – she figured the pets were pushing on the brakes – giving her plenty of time to catch up to the truck. She grabbed the door handle and pulled it open, leaping into the cab and shutting the door behind her. She put on the seatbelt, before slamming her foot down on the brake pedal and pulling back on the emergency brake, bringing the truck to a stop and sending cupcakes and muffins flying against the windscreen.

With the truck now at a complete stop, Blythe put it in park and turned to the pets.

"Okay, pets, explain. What happened?"

"I don't really know where to begin," Russell said. "It's hard to pinpoint one thing in particular, but I can tell you that this button –" He pointed to the adjustment button on the driver's seat – "doesn't deploy the shields. Go figure."

"Blythe!" Youngmee ran up to the truck, panting as she came to a stop at the window. "What did you do?"

"It wasn't me," Blythe said. "It was –"

Her explanation was interrupted by the sound of police sirens. She felt her stomach tighten into several knots of nervousness as a stern looking police officer stepped up to the window, pen and ticket pad in hand.

"License and registration, please."

"Um…."

The cop lowered his sunglasses, giving Blythe an incredulous look. "A little young to be driving, aren't we?"

Blythe couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh. "Funny story, that. You see, the pets were playing in the truck and they accidentally set it to go down the hill and one thing led to another, you know how it goes."

"Not really," the officer said. "And do you really expect me to believe that –" He looked into the truck. "You really expect me to believe that a dog, a cat, a weasel, a skunk, a bunny, a porcupine, a monkey, a teddy bear, and an iguana took the truck for a joyride?"

"It's true!" Blythe cried. She slumped down into the seat. "I just can't prove it."

"Okay, young lady, I think I've seen enough." He scrawled something down on his ticket pad, and then handed Blythe the ticket.

Blythe sank into the seat, downtrodden and disheartened. She had never imagined she'd be getting a traffic ticket, especially before she even got her learner's permit, and certainly not because of something the pets did.

"You really should have offered him a cupcake," Vinnie said.

"Shut up, Vinnie," Blythe silently hissed.

###################################

"Blythe, I don't know why you would do something so irresponsible," Roger said as he held the ticket in his hand. After she had been given the ticket, they called Aunt Chrissie to take the truck back to the sweet shop for cleaning, and after cleaning up the pets, Blythe went back upstairs. Roger had been waiting for her – Aunt Chrissie had called him and told him what had happened – and he had been scolding her ever since.

"Dad, I've been trying to tell everyone that I didn't take the truck for a ride!"

"Well it couldn't have gone off on its own," Roger said. "Chrissie checked the truck out, and there's nothing wrong with it."

"Of course not," Blythe cried. "I already told you, Dad, that's because the pets took the truck."

"How do you expect me to believe that?" Roger asked. "Blythe, look, I want to believe you, and I know that you would never lie, but this is one time where I just can't believe you. How do you expect me to believe that the pets took the truck for a ride? You don't have any proof."

"I was in the sweet shop with Youngmee when it happened, so I didn't see everything. Maybe….Maybe it was a chain reaction or something."

"And how could you possibly know that? It's not like they told you or anything."

 _If only you knew, Dad,_ Blythe thought. But rather than reply, she simply lowered her head in shame.

Roger let out a disappointed sigh. "I'm sorry, Blythe, but you leave me no choice. You're grounded. That means no smart phone."

Blythe took her phone out of her pocket and handed it to her father. "And no father-daughter picnic either?"

"And no three legged race. Believe me, it hurts me more than it hurts you."

 _I'd buy that if you didn't still have that stupid dummy tied to you,_ Blythe thought as Roger turned to leave the door.

He stopped as he reached the door. "And you'll help remake all the baked goods you ruined on your little joyride." He pulled the door shut, the door getting caught on the dummy's arm and leg before he pulled the dummy through, finally closing the door.

##################################

He wanted to believe Blythe – she'd never told a lie in her life, and she never had any reason to – but this was one time where he just couldn't. How could he? She was trying to pin the blame on her joyride on the pets. Why would the pets have any reason to drive the truck? How could they drive the truck? It was such a foolish idea to even consider.

Roger entered the kitchen and, for the first time today, untied the dummy from his side, setting it down on a chair in near the table.

"Sorry, Buddy," he said, trying to hold back the tears. "This isn't your fault." He turned to some of the pictures on the shelves, his attention being drawn to one in particular – a picture from seven years ago, of him, Blythe, and Blythe's mother at a previous father-daughter picnic, the last one Blythe's mother would ever be a part of. "Oh Betty, what happened to our beautiful angel? She's become a delinquent now. Sure, it was just one thing, but everyone starts somewhere, right?" He pulled the picture down from the shelf. "Oh, Betty – I know how much Blythe misses you. Maybe that's why she did it? Well, she's not the only one who misses you."

He set the picture back on the shelf and quickly blinked back the tears he could feel forming at the corners of his eyes.

#####################################

Blythe had spent the better part of the morning in the Sweet Delights kitchen with Youngmee and Aunt Chrissie, doing as he father had said and helping them replace the cupcakes that had been lost in the ride yesterday. Surprisingly, Youngmee and Aunt Chrissie held no ill will towards her, Chrissie even laughing about the experience.

"You know, it's things like that that you just have to look back on and laugh at later," she had said.

Now Blythe was helping Youngmee fill up some bins with cupcake batter, getting ready to put them in the oven.

"Chrissie, I know I've said this about a million times, but I'm really sorry about the cupcakes I ruined yesterday," Blythe said.

"And for the millionth time, it's okay," Chrissie said with a chuckle. "I'm sure you had a good reason, and the only things that got hurt were a few cupcakes. Fortunately, my multitasking skills come in handy for such an occasion."

Indeed, she was doing multiple things at once – talking on her Bluetooth headset, stirring two bowls at once, and using one of her feet to set a pan of cupcakes into the oven.

"But Aunt Chrissie, that's just it, I DIDN'T drive the truck!" Blythe protested. "I keep telling everyone that, but they don't believe me."

Chrissie put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Believe it or not, you're not the only one who did something crazy like that. I remember one time my friends and I took a school bus for a ride around town. We ended up driving it into the local pool. Good thing there was no one in the pool at the time. But looking back on it, that was pretty fun."

Blythe couldn't help but chuckle at Chrissie's little story, but it didn't do anything to make her feel better. She didn't know why no one believed her, and not being believed was beginning to grate on her nerves.

Chrissie put a few trays of cupcakes on a cart, then pressed a button on her headset. "You got Chrissie. Oh, Milton. Those circular cake boxes you got me don't work at all. They just roll right off the table. Well, no one said they were supposed to lay flat and not on their sides." Chrissie kept talking as she pushed the cart out the door to the loading bay, where the truck – now clean once again – was waiting.

Blythe slumped against the wall. "I really hate this."

"Well, like Aunt Chrissie said, at least the only ones hurt were the cupcakes," Youngmee said.

"Yeah, that makes me feel better. Youngmee, do you know how it feels to be telling the truth but not having anyone believe you? It stinks."

"You sure that's not just Pepper's smell coming from next door?" Youngmee asked. "Come on, Blythe, how about we get a whiff of some tasty frosting while baking your troubles away? Sound good?"

Blythe let out an exasperated sigh. "Not as good as it should."

It had been a long time since Blythe felt so helpless, so defeated. The only other time she could think of feeling like this was seven years ago, when she lost her mother. But that was due to forces beyond her control; this time, she was downtrodden because no one would believe her.

Maybe baking would help take her mind off of things, stop her from feeling so melancholy.

####################################

The pets had been listening in from the hole that bridged Littlest Pet Shop and Sweet Delights for some time, listening to Blythe talking to Youngmee and Aunt Chrissie about the events that transpired yesterday. From the sound of things, no one was believing her about what happened in the truck, and to make matters worse, she had been grounded, meaning that her time with them would be limited until the punishment was lifted.

"This is all our fault," Sunil cried.

"How could we have let this happen?" Penny Ling sobbed.

"Yesser-chesser, we got Blythe in hot water-bo-botter," Buttercream added.

"People would be believing Blythe if they had just seen what had happened," Zoe said.

"That's a great idea," Russell said. "We'll get them to see what happened." The other pets just stared at him, confused. "Listen, all we have to do is get Blythe's smartphone, then get back into the truck, and then we'll reenact the events that led to the truck taking off. It'll be like making a movie."

"Cool," Pepper said. "Then we can leave it out for Roger and Aunt Chrissie to see."

"Yeah, you had me at 'making a movie'," Zoe said. "I'm in."

The plan was to borrow Blythe's phone, but from the way she was talking to Youngmee, she didn't have it on her. According to Blythe, the terms of her grounding included not having her smartphone on her, meaning that Roger most likely had it.

A quick investigation showed them that he had simply put the phone on the kitchen table, next to his training dummy. Roger was leaving the kitchen after getting a cup of coffee, leaving only the dummy to guard the phone.

"We can't make that movie and clear Blythe's name unless we get past that dummy," Russell said.

"But what if Blythe's dad comes back into the kitchen while we're doing that?" Penny Ling asked worriedly. "How do we get the phone without him seeing us?"

"Maybe we can use Mr. Fake Man over there to scoop-doop-she-woop," Buttercream suggested.

"What?" Vinnie asked.

"I don't know," Buttercream said with a shrug of her little bunny shoulders. "Anyhoo. We distract Blythe's dad with the dummy, chummy."

"Buttercream, you may have an idea there," Russell said.

"How do you know that?" Vinnie demanded. "I don't even know what she just said! It's like half the stuff that comes out of that bunny's mouth is 'Woogly Woogly Woo'!"

"Maybe, but that's not the point," Russell said. "Huddle up, pets."

A few moments – and one brainstorming session – later, it was time to put their plan into motion. Minka was keeping a lookout from the spider plant hanging from the roof, watching Roger, who was still sitting in the living room, drinking his coffee, looking at some old trophies. While he was looking away, Minka reached down from the plant and grabbed the dummy by the head, holding it up with as much strength as she could while Vinnie and Sunil moved to manipulate the arms – all this was a precaution, just in case Roger looked back while the pets were getting the phone.

Minka's grip gave out, causing her to drop the dummy, in turn making Sunil and Vinnie lose their grips, and the dummy fell to the floor. Vinnie quickly ran to hide under the table while Minka grabbed Sunil and pulled him up into the plant.

Just in time, too, because the thud of the dummy hitting the floor got Roger's attention.

"Buddy! What is it? Are you trying to tell me something? Yes? Tell me! You want to try to beat our old three legged race record for old times' sake?" He made the dummy nod its head.

 _Blythe's dad can be weird sometimes,_ Zoe thought as she and the other pets watched this whole thing unfold.

Roger picked the dummy up off the floor. "I like your can-do attitude, Buddy. Let's hit it!"

The pets hid behind the wall as Roger ran out of the kitchen, making his way for the door.

Once Roger was gone, Minka slowly lowered Sunil down to the table, letting him grab the phone.

"Mission accomplished!" he cheered.

###############################

"You guys came back to visit?" Sugar Sprinkles asked as the pets hurried to the back of the truck. They now had a small device, which she recognized as a human electronic contraption – a phone, she'd heard Chrissie call it – with them. "Hey, you think that maybe this time we not drive the truck?"

"Actually, we're making a movie," Russell said as he held the phone up. "And we need your help to do it, Sugar Sprinkles." He turned to the other pets. "Okay, fellow pets, let's all get into the same places we were when the truck took off yesterday morning."

"Wait, where's my wardrobe department?" Zoe asked. "I need the right outfit for this. I was hoping a dog playing a cat would win me a Best Actress award."

"Zoe, the only cat in the truck yesterday was Sugar Sprinkles," Russell said. "It'd be better if you were a dog playing a dog. You know, like you were yesterday."

Vinnie tapped Russell on the shoulder. "No wardrobe, then? Because I had some neat outfits to go along with the country station. Unless they have something else on the radio. A mamba?"

"Yeah, you're not doing the mamba."

"Well, it sure as sugar isn't the foxtrot – so cliché."

Russell rolled his eyes. "Vinnie, just get into where you were yesterday." Vinnie let out an exasperated sigh and walked off.

Pepper slid past on a banana peel, the peel slipping out from under her paws, sending her tumbling to the floor.

"What this film needs is some slapstick. I like a little pratfall. How about you, Russell?"

Russell smacked a paw against his face and chattered in annoyance. "We're not here to be movie stars, we're here to clear Blythe's name! Now stop fooling around and try to remember where you all were yesterday!" He looked at the phone. "Okay, now how does Blythe do this? I could have sworn I'd seen how." He pressed the first button he saw, hoping it was the video camera.

"Hello?" Chrissie's voice came from the other end of the line.

"Sorry, wrong number," Russell said, pressing the phone button to shut it off. "Wait, here's the video button." He pressed a small red button, and the recording began. He focused the camera on the cab of the truck, where the other pets had all congregated. "And…ACTION!"

He got a shot of Vinnie trying to move the steering wheel with his feet; Vinnie lost his footing and fell head first into a nearby cupcake. "No." He got a shot of Zoe leaping for the accelerator; Zoe's beret got caught on a spring poking out of the seat. "Bad shot." He got another shot of Vinnie on the steering wheel; this time, Vinnie managed to keep his balance, but Minka's tail got in the way. "Minka, your tail ruined the perfect shot!"

"Oops. Sorry," Minka said as she clung to the sun visor.

Russell turned the camera down to the pedals, where Pepper and Zoe – the latter of whom had recovered her beret – were pressing down on the brake pedal as hard as they could.

"Up, down, up, dog!" Pepper chanted. "Wait, did I just say 'dog'? Whoops. My bad," she chuckled.

"Cut, Cut, CUT!" Russell cried in frustration.

"Relax, Rusty," Sugar Sprinkles said. "Some day we're going to look back on this and have a good laugh."

"You can laugh all you want," Russell hissed. "But I'm not laughing! I can't work in these conditions!" He threw the phone.

The phone hit the seat adjustment button on the driver's seat, launching Minka up to the ignition, making her turn the key; a tray hit the shifter, putting the truck from Park to Drive; the tray then bounced up and turned on the country station, causing Vinnie to start dancing; he stepped on Sugar Sprinkle's tail, and Sugar Sprinkles slammed into Penny Ling, who slammed into Buttercream, who hit the emergency brake, causing the truck to start rolling down the street.

"Excellent!" Russell cried – he had recovered the phone and resumed recording. "Cut, print, that's a wrap."

"Yeah, that's great," Vinnie said amidst the chorus of cheers. "But how are we going to stop the truck."

The cheers turned into screams.

"Here we go again!" Russell cried.

####################################

Roger had been running with the dummy tied to him, eliciting odd looks from several people, for nearly a half hour when he decided to turn and go home. As he rounded the corner, he noticed a familiar looking vehicle coming down the street and an increasingly fast rate.

"Huh. Hey Buddy, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear that was the Sweet Delights truck." The truck went past, giving him a good look at the truck; it was, indeed, the Sweet Delights truck, and it appeared to be out of control.

He hurried after the truck, taking a little girl's bike so he could catch up to it. He pedaled as fast as he could, quickly catching up to the truck and grabbing the door handle. Stepping off the bike, he opened the truck door and pulled himself in, slipping on the seatbelt before slamming his foot down on the brake pedal and pulling back on the emergency brake, sending cupcakes flying up against the windshield.

He never noticed the police officer until he had pulled up next to him.

"Uh, hi there," Roger said. He held up a smashed cupcake. "Cupcake, officer?"

The police officer maintained a stern face as he handed Roger the ticket.

##############################

Roger reviewed the footage on Blythe's phone as she tied their legs together. He couldn't help but laugh at the animals as they played around in the truck, kicking off the series of events leading to the truck running out of control.

"And this is why animals shouldn't drive," he said. He turned the phone off and handed it back to Blythe as she stood up. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you earlier, Blythe."

"No huge cahoots, my loots," Blythe said.

"What?"

"I don't know," Blythe said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Anyway, I'm glad it all worked out, because now we can win that seventh three legged race trophy."

"You're right," Roger said. He lightly kissed Blythe's forehead. "Let's do this thing!"

The starting gun was fired, and the racers were off.

##################################

Aunt Chrissie was amaze at how popular this new brand of cupcake was selling. It even had a catchy name that Youngmee had come up with – Cupcake Slider.

"Real original name," Aunt Chrissie said as she handed a cupcake to a customer.

"Well, I just figured that it made sense," Youngmee replied. "After all, the frosting slid off of the cupcakes during Mr. Baxter's joyride. So I figured, why look a gift horse in the mouth, right?"

"It's a good idea, but next time, let's just push the frosting off ourselves," Aunt Chrissie chuckled. "Without the help of a runaway truck piloted by animals and a crazy airline pilot."

Sugar Sprinkles had been listening in from one of the sugar bins; she poked her head out, joining Youngmee and Aunt Chrissie in their laughing.

"I knew we'd look back on this and laugh," she said.


	16. Helicopter Dad

HELICOPTER DAD

THEY WERE ALREADY RUNNING LATE, BLYTHE FOR SCHOOL AND ROGER FOR HIS flight. It was yet another long one, and this time, he had said he'd be gone for at least three weeks. He'd left Blythe enough money to pay the rent and other bills, as well as do some grocery shopping – they were running pretty low – and if they didn't get to school and the airport on time….

No, they would make it on time; they always did. Roger wouldn't have been an airline pilot if he were always late.

The fact that Ratt was playing on the radio certainly helped, as Roger had his foot down on the accelerator the entire time, surprisingly managing to stay in his lane and not slam into any other cars, and even performed a perfect parallel park as he pulled up to the high school.

That wouldn't have been so bad, if Roger wasn't singing incredibly off-key.

 _Round and round_

 _With love we'll find a way, just give it time_

 _Round and round_

 _What goes around comes around_

Blythe reached over to the radio, pushing the button to turn it off. "Dad, do me a favor," she said as she undid her seatbelt. "Don't try out for _American Idol_."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Roger chuckled as Blythe climbed out of the car.

"I'll see you after your flight."

"What about a ride home? Did you already make plans?"

"The usual – hitch a ride with Youngmee and Aunt Chrissie. It's either that or ride with some kid who just got his license and thinks the speed limit is one fifty."

"Okay. Blythe, listen, I know you're used to this sort of thing by now, but –"

"I know, I know," Blythe interrupted him. "You wish you didn't spend so much time away from home and that we had more time together as father and daughter. Believe me, I feel the same way. But one day, when you're not on one of your three week long trips to the other side of the world, we'll do something together, just the two of us."

 _If only there were still three of us_ , Roger thought sadly. He took a breath. "It's a deal. I'll see you when I get home." He put the car in gear and drove off.

She'd only caught a glimpse of it, but Blythe could see the look on her father's face. She knew what he was thinking – he was thinking back to those family outings, back when Blythe was younger.

Back when her mother was still alive.

But as much as she hated thinking it, that was the past and this was the present. She'd moved on as much as anyone could. But as for her father….She was starting to think that maybe he hadn't moved on as much as he pretended.

She pushed those thoughts aside as she walked through the doors of the school and made her way to her locker. From the look of things, there was a pep rally this afternoon, judging by how the kids on the football team were wearing their jerseys and jackets.

She never really cared for that sort of thing; she wasn't the athletic type – that was more Sue's forte. All she cared about was checking to make sure she had everything in order for today. She'd already spent half an hour back home making sure she had last night's homework done and making sure her pencils were perfectly sharpened – Monday's Mathletes meeting had done a number on them – and now here she was, at her locker, mentally going over her checklist once again.

 _Homework? Check. Recently and perfectly sharpened pencils? Check. Notebook with my name written in cloud letters on the front cover? Check. Coffee mixed with hazelnut creamer – wait, what the what?_

She shut the locker –

Coming face to face with Roger!

"Dad! What the what are you doing here?"

"Surprised, aren't you? I knew you would be."

"But – but – but – your flight! Your trip to Japan, and then to Palau!"

"Got someone to cover for me. So now you and I can spend the day together. Isn't that great?"

Blythe didn't know what to say. What COULD she say? How would people react to seeing her father here at school?

"Blythe's not in trouble, is she, Mr. Baxter?" Youngmee asked as she, Sue, and Jasper approached.

"Don't be silly, Youngmee," Roger said. "And hey, while I'm here, feel free to call me by my old flight school nickname – The Rog!"

"I get it," Sue said. "Rog – it's short for 'Roger'." She chuckled. "Roger that, Rog."

"I don't believe this," Blythe muttered as she rolled her eyes. She could already feel all the other students staring at them, their eyes boring into her from up and down the hall.

Roger downed his coffee, before putting a hand on Blythe's shoulder. "It's just going to be you, me, and all the other students, Blythe. I feel like I'm your age again. This is going to be great!"

"Yeah. Great," Blythe mumbled. She turned to her friends. "Help me," she whispered.

"Are you kidding?" Youngmee whispered back. "This is going to be fun."

"Fun" was hardly the word Blythe could use to describe this. It was true that she wanted to spend more time with her father, but she never expected him to follow her to school. For any kid, just having their parent show up was embarrassing enough – whether it be for a parent/student day, Career Day, or the parent coming to pick them up because the kid got in trouble – but the entire day? Eight in the morning to three in the afternoon? Blythe wasn't sure if she could handle it.

Besides, she had made plans – plans that didn't involve her father. She was going to ride home with Youngmee and Aunt Chrissie, get some icing pops and play with Buttercream before going to the pet shop, doodle a few designs before watching a movie.

 _Way to practically force me to change those plans, Dad_ , she thought bitterly.

Roger flipped through Jasper's notebook. "So what's first on the agenda today?"

"Well, Blythe and I have an English test today," Jasper started to say, stopping and wincing when Roger got his hand caught in the binder ring.

Roger's screams of pain echoed throughout the building.

#########################

Blythe watched, both embarrassed and angry, as the nurse wrapped Roger's hand in a bandage. She was still angry that he followed her, and now, watching him flirt with the nurse, she was wishing that she could just fly away and leave him behind. It was so humiliating!

"You don't have any of those cool bandages with the kitty cats and the spaceships on them, do you?" he asked the nurse.

"No, that would be the elementary school," the nurse said. She held up a pin, a yellow smiley face with a bandage wrapped around it. "This is the closest I have."

Roger snatched it out of her hand and pinned it to his shirt. "I'll tell everyone it was a gift from you."

The nurse laughed. Blythe smacked a hand against her forehead. "Okay, Dad," she said. "If you need me, I'm going to class."

"Blythe, wait, did you tell the nurse about that nasty rash from last year?" Roger asked as she walked out the door.

"Dad! Class! Now!" Blythe growled as she dragged Roger out of the medical office.

##################################

Anna was surprised to see someone drop off a tortoise this morning – it was the first time in several years that a tortoise or turtle had visited. The tortoise's owner was in town for the day and dropped her off while he went wandering around, and he even picked up a few supplies while he was in.

The tortoise's owner had said that her name was Olive Shellstein, and Anna still had yet to see her face – all she saw was a shell, no head or legs.

There was something oddly adorable about Olive's shyness. But the shop floor wasn't the place for a tortoise; she belonged in Day Camp with the other pets, so that was where Anna was taking her.

"Gather round, sweeties," she called as she walked through the door. "We have a new guest today. Meet Olive Shellstein." She set the tortoise on the floor; the tortoise still hadn't come out of her shell. "She's a little shy, so please try to make her feel at home." With that, she headed back out to the shop, just as a customer walked through the door. "Welcome to Littlest Pet Shop. How can I help you today?"

"I'm looking for some pet bedding," the man said. "Preferably for a snake."

"Well, that depends on the kind of snake," Anna replied. "We have bedding for rattlesnakes, cobras, pythons –"

"Will python bedding work with an anaconda?"

"Oh my." Anna had never heard of anyone owning an anaconda before. Pythons, yes, but not anacondas. She'd heard how large they got, how dangerous they could potentially be, and here was this young man brave enough to own one. "Well, I suppose so. To be honest, I've never heard of anyone owning an anaconda before."

"I get that a lot." He picked up a large bag of python bedding. "I guess this will do."

"Okie dokie then. Let me just ring you up and you'll be on your way."

################################

At first, the pets were excited to meet Olive, but that excitement quickly diminished as Olive remained retracted in her shell. Did she ever come out of there? Or was she really all shell? They'd never seen a pet like this. The last time a turtle visited – which at this point was over a year ago in human terms – he was about as outgoing as Minka. But this tortoise….It was odd, seeing nothing but shell.

"So, uh, anyone know which hole the face is in?" Pepper asked as she spun the shell around. "I don't want to end up talking to the wrong end."

"She could by hibernating," Penny Ling guessed. "Wait, do tortoises hibernate?"

"It's not even winter yet," Russell said. He looked into one of the holes. "Olive? If you can hear me, I just want you to know that we're a friendly bunch here at Littlest Pet Shop. You don't have to be afraid of us." There was still no response.

Zoe pushed Russell out of the way. "Of course we're a friendly bunch here," she said. She lightly tapped a paw on the shell. "Olive! You can come out and play now!" Nothing. "Worst case of stage fright I've ever seen," Zoe muttered as she walked away.

"I'll get her to come out," Vinnie said as he started dancing on Olive's shell. "Hey Olive! Ready to come out yet?" No response. "Wow. Talk about cold feet."

Pepper pushed Vinnie aside. "Hey, Olive, tell me if you've heard this one before – this guy says 'My mother's a tortoise and my father's a porcupine, so I was born to be a slowpoke'!" Olive remained silent within her shell. "Get it? Slowpoke? Because tortoises are slow and porcupines poke people?" Still nothing. "Geez. Tough crowd."

"Please, allow me," Sunil said as he produced a snake charmer's flute. He began to play. The shrill tune of the flute filled the room. His efforts proved fruitless, as Olive remained in her shell. "I guess I'm not a turtle charmer."

"Maybe we're just being a bit too overwhelming for her," Penny Ling suggested.

Minka hopped up onto Olive's shell. "Overwhelming? Who's overwhelming? I'm not overwhelming. I might be a bit whelming, but not OVER whelming. Who would say I'm overwhelming? Nobody, that's who!" She looked down into one of the holes in the shell. "HELLO IN THERE!"

 _Kind of proving my point,_ Penny Ling thought.

##############################

It was bad enough that Roger was following her around, shadowing her like a puppy, but this – this was just ridiculous. He'd been embarrassing her all day, making her look like a fool in front of the entire school, and now she was stuck sitting in the principal's office because of him.

"Honestly, Principal Morris, when I told the class to throw their books out the window, I didn't think they'd actually do it," Roger said. "But just between us old coots, square roots are pretty useless in the real world, am I right?" Principal Morris just glared at him, unamused.

Blythe couldn't blame him. She knew that her father's antics would end up getting her in trouble sooner or later, and her patience with him was beginning to wear thin. Her forehead was starting to get sore from how often she was slapping her hand against it – not to mention banging her head off of her locker between classes – and she was surprised that she hadn't completely snapped by this point.

Fortunately, they were both let off with a warning this time and released, just in time for lunch. Today's menu items consisted of mashed potatoes – something Blythe wasn't a big fan of – Salisbury steak, corn, and sliced bread.

 _At least he can't get in trouble here, unless he decides to start a food fight,_ Blythe thought as she put a steak on her plate.

"Hi Blythe. Haven't seen you in a while."

She didn't even have to look to know that that voice belonged to Josh Sharpe, the dreamiest boy in school. She'd first met him nearly a month ago, a chance meeting in the park while she was practicing roller skating with Sue, which led to a chase around town as she tried to return his lost keys.

"Oh, uh, hi Josh," she said. She turned away, feeling her face turning red.

"Are you okay, Blythe?" Roger asked. "You're all red in the face."

"Dad, shut up," Blythe hissed under her breath, not wanting Josh to hear.

"You're not coming down with something, are you?" Roger continued to prod. Blythe smacked a hand against her forehead, felt herself starting to sweat. "You got a fever or something?"

"I'm fine, Dad," Blythe growled through gritted teeth.

Roger looked over to Josh. "Excuse me young fellow. Does she look okay to you?"

"Seems fine to me," Josh said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Blythe just turned and stormed away, her rage building up inside.

It was only a matter of time before she reached her limit.

###############################

Minka hadn't left Olive alone for the last…hour? Three hours? All the other pets heard out of her was the constant repeat of "Hello, Olive! Hello!" even though Olive wasn't answering, hadn't been answering to anyone.

Russell had been watching for a while, eyes narrowed in annoyance as Minka ran around the shy tortoise, hooting and hollering.

"Minka!" he called. "Why don't you just give it up? Olive's not going to come out."

"Give up?' Minka repeated. "Give up? I am a monkey! Monkeys do not give up! And I will get Olive out of that shell of hers even if it takes me all day! So, who wants to be a monkey with me and bring Olive out?"

"That's going to be a little difficult," Russell said. "You know, considering that you're the only monkey here."

Minka sighed. "Fine. But don't you want a new friend? Come on, Russell, admit it. If Olive were stuck in a castle, would you want to free her?"

"You're kind of missing the point," Russell said. "Olive's too shy. She's not going to come out."

"You can say that all you want, Mr. Hedgehog, but like I said, monkeys never give up. I don't even know the meaning of giving up."

"It means to quit," Vinnie said as he danced by.

Minka huffed. "Yeah, well, just because Olive wants to hide inside her castle doesn't mean that she doesn't want a friend."

"Except she's not in a castle, she's in a shell," Vinnie corrected her.

"It's a metaphor!" Minka hollered.

Russell had to admit, the little monkey was determined, but he still didn't see the point. Olive was stuck in her shell, and as far as Russell could tell, she was never going to come out, especially not with Minka hounding her like that.

###################################

Volleyball, a subject that Blythe was indifferent to. But since she was on the same team as Sue and Youngmee, she didn't mind. That wasn't to say that she wouldn't try, it was just that Sue and Youngmee were much better at this than she was, Sue in particular.

Sue bounced the ball back to the other team, who then bounced it back over the net. The ball flew towards Blythe, who balled up her hands, ready to hit the ball back, and she would have, had Roger not intervened, sending the ball flying right into the back of Coach's head.

Blythe was the only one not laughing about it.

"Dad, that was my ball," she growled.

"Don't mention it," Roger said, patting her on the shoulder. "Dear old Dad's got it all under control."

 _Under control, huh? Then explain why I feel like I'm about to -_ She didn't even want to finish that train of thought.

"Hey Blythe, I think I see the girls you were talking to when we first moved here," Roger said, noticing the Biskit Twins on the bleachers, doing their nails. "Hi girls!"

"Dad, shut up!" Blythe hissed.

"What's wrong? I thought they were your friends."

"Not even close," Blythe whispered as she heard the twins talking.

"Whittany, look who brought her own – what's that person called, who, like, takes care of you?" Brittany asked.

"You mean a care-type person?" Whittany asked.

"Yeah, that. Look who brought her own care-type person to school with her," Brittany grumbled.

"Come on, ladies," Roger said as he stretched his arms. "Let's get our fitness on. PHYSICAL Education, am I right?"

"Not happening, old man," Whittany said. "Medical excuse."

"Yeah," Brittany agreed. "Our doctor said our legs might, like, hurt if we so much as walk."

"So no walking, no running, and no standing," Whittany finished.

"Wow, that stinks," Roger said.

"My ball!" Blythe yelled as the volleyball came towards her. She raised her hand, ready to spike the ball over the net –

Roger leaped at the ball, hitting it as hard as he could, but rather than landing on the floor, he fell onto the net, getting tangled up in the fibers as the ball bounced around the room, off of the bleachers, off of the walls, knocking down a light.

"I, uh, I meant to do that," Roger said. "I call it the Baxter Bomb."

 _Bomb is right,_ Blythe thought angrily. _Like I just want a bomb to come and fall on me right now!_

"So, uh, can someone lend me a hand or two? Kinda tangled up over here."

Blythe just stared at her father as some of the other students helped untangle him from the net. Every second seemed to be more humiliating than the last, with Roger finding more humiliating ways to embarrass her. She could feel her heart racing as the anger continued to build up inside of her.

She knew some of the other students were laughing at his antics, but at the same time, she was sure they were laughing at her. And why wouldn't they? Roger had done nothing but make her look like a fool in front of the entire school – her teachers, the nurse, the principal, the twins….Every second seemed to be getting worse and worse.

##############################

Mr. Banks's English class was the last class of the day, thankfully. Blythe wasn't sure how much longer she could put up with her father hovering over her, making a normally simple school day seem much longer and more humiliating than it should have been.

Last night's homework had been to write a poem based on whatever they desired, so long as it was school appropriate. There had been poems on music groups such as Breaking Benjamin and even Justin Beiber – whose music Blythe absolutely despised – Jasper had done one on his favorite foods, and now it was almost Blythe's turn, and she had written a poem about Littlest Pet Shop.

She would have stepped up to the front of the class to recite it, had Roger not gotten in her way again.

"I've always been known as a bit of a wordsmith," Roger said as he made his way to the front of the class amidst the snickers of the other students. "This is a little diddy I made when I was your age for a young lady I was going steady with, and I've got no shame in admitting I was what you youngsters call a player."

Blythe sunk into her seat, trying to make herself as low as possible, not wanting to even look at anyone else in the room.

Roger opened his mouth to begin –

The bell rang, signaling the end of class, and the end of the day.

 _Saved by the bell_ , Blythe thought with a sigh of relief. She hurried out of the room and down the hall, running as fast as she could to her locker. She wanted – she NEEDED – to be away from the prying eyes and laughter of the other students, and as far away from her father as she could, even if it was only for a few minutes.

Sue met her at her locker. Blythe had her forehead against the metal door, trying as hard as she could not to scream in rage.

"What's wrong, Blythe?"

"It's my dad," Blythe answered. "He's been hovering me all day. This day can't end soon enough."

"But I thought you were excited to spend time with your dad."

Blythe turned to face her friend. "I was, at first. But this is just too much. He took notes for me in History class, did my science project, sang my part in Chorus!"

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"You've never heard my dad sing," Blythe said flatly. She opened her locker. "And look at this! He got us matching hats for Art Class! Who does that?" She slammed her locker shut. "I'm just glad that the day's going to be over in a few minutes."

"Well, I guess I'd feel the same way if I were in your position," Sue said. "But he's just trying to spend some time with you, you know."

"He doesn't have to do it at my school!" Blythe yelled. "This has been the most humiliating, most embarrassing day of my entire life!" She slammed a fist against her locker. "Sue, I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow – hopefully without my dad following me."

############################

Blythe hadn't said anything on the trip home; she was afraid of what would come out of her mouth. Would she be calm, or would she scream in rage and anger? She didn't know; she didn't want to find out.

She had hoped that Roger would go home after they pulled into the parking lot, but no, he followed her right into the pet shop, much to her annoyance. All she could do was huff in frustration, wondering if anything would help her calm down.

The first thing they saw was Mrs. Twombly sifting through a bag of pet treats, sniffing each one as she pulled them out.

"These treats smell just like my Aunt Esther's pot roast."

"Do you always sniff the new products?" Roger asked.

"I like to know what I'm giving to my little sweeties," Mrs. Twombly replied. "So, how was your day?"

"It was one of the –" Blythe began to say, only to be interrupted by Roger.

"One of the best days ever! We spent every second of every minute of every hour together. Right, Blythe?"

"Right," Blythe said with a fake laugh. _Unfortunately for me,_ she silently added.

"So, Mrs. Twombly – or can I call you Anna? – how was your day? Was it as amazing as ours? Scale of one to five?"

Mrs. Twombly let out a depressed sigh. "It was, until I learned that my sister down in Antarctica got the vapors again. If it's not the vapors in my family, it's the itch, the kink, or the quinsy. And don't even ask me how my cousin came down with the rising of the lights – we'd be here all week. After I close up the shop I'm going to the post office to send her down some medicine."

"No, Mrs Twombly!" Blythe yelled. "Go now! I can watch the shop until closing. Besides, your sister's important, right?"

"Well, I suppose, but I thought you were spending the day with your dad?"

"No!" Blythe yelled. "I mean, I have been, but you need me. I have to be here. I can watch the shop on my own. You understand, right Dad? This is an emergency and I need to help Mrs. Twombly."

"Of course you do," Roger said. "With your dear old dad."

 _Someone please kill me now,_ Blythe thought bitterly.

An hour later, Blythe was reorganizing the shelf containing the pet toys. Mrs. Twombly had been slacking; the cat toys were mixed in with the dog toys, and she couldn't even begin to guess how a bird feeder got over here.

Roger had been surprisingly quiet, but that could be attributed to Blythe asking him to go rearrange the storage closet, something she knew would take him a while to do without bothering her – outside of his obnoxious singing when he pretended the broom was a guitar.

She was putting some squeaky toys on a shelf when Roger called out to her.

"Howdy!"

Blythe couldn't help but scream in surprise and drop the toys. She turned to her father, angrily glaring at him.

"So, what else do we have to do?" he asked.

Blythe took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "I should go check on the pets at Day Camp," she said as she walked past him. "You can just stay –"

"Right behind you."

Blythe growled in frustration, but said nothing as she and Roger walked through the door to the day camp. Most of the pets were off playing with their toys or sleeping, but not Minka. She was too transfixed on a green tortoise shell in the middle of the room.

"Nice tortoise shell," Roger said. "Reminds me of my old bike helmet back when I was a kid."

"Oh, that must be Olive," Blythe guessed. "Mrs. Twombly said she's not a very social tortoise."

"Maybe she just needs a little bit of encouragement," Roger said. "Like….Like….Your old Howdy Do song."

"From when I was four? You have got to be kidding me."

"Whether four of fifty-four, never too old for Howdy Do," Roger said. "I'll bet Olive will come out of her shell for that."

"I don't know about this," Blythe muttered.

And then, much to her annoyance, Roger actually started to sing.

 _Howdy do, Howdy do_

 _I like to dance in a circle with you_

 _Howdy do, Howdy do_

 _Rainbows are nice and so are you_

Blythe had to admit, hearing her father sing that little tune, it made her think back to her time as a child. Back when they were still a family of three, having fun at Blythe's preschool talent show where she first sang that song.

It made her smile.

Roger picked up Olive's shell and took Blythe's hand, leading her back out into the shop, where they began marching and dancing as they sang.

 _Howdy do, Howdy do_

 _I like to dance in a circle with you_

 _Howdy do, Howdy do_

 _Rainbows are nice and so are –_

"Excuse me?"

Blythe's blood ran cold as Josh walked through the door. _Did – did he just see all that?_

"Sorry to, uh, interrupt," he said. "But do you guys carry dog whistles? My mom's complaining about the neighbor's dog leaving his presents in our yard again, and we need a way to scare him off."

"Uh, dog whistles?" Blythe repeated nervously, sweat rolling down her face as he face turned a dark shade of red from embarrassment. "No. Sorry, Josh."

"Thanks anyway, Blythe," Josh said as he turned to leave. He stopped; turned back to her. "By the way, cute dance." The door shut behind him as he walked down the street.

"Huh. Mrs. Twombly's right, this tortoise isn't very social at all," Roger said, still holding Olive, completely oblivious as to what had just happened.

Blythe flared her nostrils and tightened her hands into tight fists, her knuckles turning white, her fingernails threatening to dig into her skin. It was bad enough that her father had humiliated her in front of her teachers and her friends and the principal, and now he had just made her look like a fool in front of the boy she was secretly crushing on.

She was nearing the breaking point. At any moment she was going to snap, her rage and fury building up since before eight o'clock this morning.

"So, what's next?" Roger asked.

Blythe took Olive from Roger's hands. "I'm putting Olive back in Day Camp," she said, her voice dripping with silent rage.

################################

After spending the entire day hounding Olive, Minka decided that a game of Go Fish would be better. After all, who didn't like Go Fish? Even for a monkey like Minka, it was an easy game to learn, understand, and play, and most of all, it was friendly fun. So how could Olive resist coming out of her shell for something like that?

Very easily, it seemed, but that didn't stop Minka from dealing out the cards.

"Dang it, Olive, how'd you know I had three Queens of Hearts?" Minka asked. "Are you psychic?"

"Yeah, I'm going to assume that's not the case," Pepper said as she and Penny Ling watched. "Also, I don't think Olive's really interested in playing cards with you. She doesn't seem to be a Yu-Gi-Oh kind of turtle."

"First off," Minka said as she set her cards down, "she's a tortoise. Big difference. And Number B, I don't appreciate you saying those sorts of things about my new friend."

"I'm sorry, Minka, but I think Pepper's right," Penny Ling said. "Olive doesn't seem to be interested in making friends with anyone."

"She might not be interested in being friends with just anyone," Minka said. "But she does want to be friends with me."

"And you know this…how?" Pepper asked. "She hasn't come out of that shell all day."

"She doesn't need to come out of the shell for me to know that," Minka said. She climbed atop of Olive's shell. "Attention, everyone – minus Olive, of course. I would like to announce that Olive Shellstein and Minka Mark – that's me – are now best friends! And that's final, so get used to it. That's finally final."

 _Got enough finals in there?_ Russell thought as he smacked a paw against his forehead.

#################################

Blythe's anger had subsided, just a little bit, as she and Roger set to work cleaning the shop, sweeping up the floor, dusting the shelves, cleaning the counters. Roger had gone into the Day Camp to change out the pets' water, giving Blythe some time to close out the register.

But even before then, before it was time to close up, he had started to get annoying again. If he wasn't hiding the dust under the rugs before stomping it out, he was trying – and failing – to help her with a customer who was buying a toy mouse for her cat, and while she at first got a chuckle at him peeking out from behind that stack of pet food cans, he had foolishly removed two in the center, causing the stack to lose balance and tumble to the ground.

She was finally given some alone time when Roger went to the restroom, time she used to sit on one of the pet beds in the day camp, right next to Minka – who was drinking from a coconut cup – and Olive, who was still hiding in her shell.

"Blythe, this is Olive, my new best friend," Minka announced.

"Nice to officially meet you, Olive," Blythe said. There was no response from the tortoise. "She's quiet."

"I find it refreshing," Minka said.

"Same here," Blythe agreed. Minka could tell from her voice that she was exhausted, more mentally than physically.

"You know, the other pets think she just wants to be alone," Minka said. "Isn't that the silliest thing you've ever heard?"

"Well, sometimes it's good to be alone," Blythe admitted. "Time to be by yourself, to reflect, and in my case, just get away from my dad. He's been glued to me all day like a lost puppy, and that wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't finding new ways to make me look like a fool in front of all of Downtown City. Believe it or not, not counting trips to the bathroom, this is the first minute I've had all to myself. I know he wants to spend more time with me, but this much time at once is a bit much."

"Why don't you just tell him that?" Minka asked.

"I would, but I don't want to hurt him," Blythe said. "He's my father, and I love him. I don't want to shatter his heart like that. Yeah, he spends way too much time away on his flights, and I get that he wants to savor every moment we have together, but not all in one day. Minka, I – I can't tell him to leave me alone. It'll destroy him."

"Blythe!" Roger's voice came from the shop floor. "Blythe! Where'd you go?"

"Pickles. Hide me!" Blythe yelled. She scooped up Minka and Olive and hurried to find a hiding place, just as Roger came through the door.

"You in here?"

Blythe didn't have time to find a good hiding spot, so she had stacked the pets on top of each other like a fuzzy and scaly totem pole and hid behind them. She knew Roger was going to see her, but at the moment, it was the best she could do.

At least until she sneezed, sending the strange totem pole of pets tumbling to the floor.

"Found you!"

"Yeah," Blythe said dryly. "You sure did."

"Haven't played hide and seek for a long time," Roger laughed. "Let's go again. This time I'll hide, though I'm warning you, my hiding place is going to be a bit better than some pets."

"Tell him!" Minka screeched – though to Roger's ears Minka was just chattering at random. "Tell him, tell him, TELL HIM!"

Blythe took a deep breath. Minka was right – if she wanted her father to leave her alone for a little while, then she was going to have to do the impossible and break his heart, something she would never have normally considered doing. But it had to be done; she couldn't take another minute of him hovering over her like this.

"Dad, there's something I need to tell you."

"What's that?"

"I need, um, well, I need some time…by myself…for a little while…."

"What do you mean, a little while?" Roger asked, confused.

"I just need a break from all the dad/daughter stuff that we've been doing all day."

"What, like volleyball in PE earlier? But we had so much fun there."

She couldn't take it anymore – it had been building up all day, since before the first bell rang at school, and now, her rage, her anger, her fury, it was all starting to boil over, and she snapped.

"DON'T YOU GET IT? I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE! AWAY FROM YOU! BY MYSELF! UNDERSTAND?"

She couldn't believe it, couldn't believe that those words had actually come out of her mouth. She couldn't believe that she could actually tell her father, the one person she loved the most, to leave her alone. But the humiliation, the embarrassment, the anger, the rage, it had all built up inside of her, all leading to that moment when she would snap, though she never figured it would be this, this…devastating.

For as shocked as her father looked, it was nothing compared to the sorrow that was filling her heart this very second.

Roger backed away, not saying a word – he didn't have to; the look on his face said it all.

Blythe's outburst had completely shattered him.

"I – I guess – if that's what you want," he said softly. "I understand. I'll…leave you…alone." He turned and slowly walked back out to the shop, his head hung low.

Perhaps he had been a bit too overbearing, and that was what had brought on that outburst. But how could anyone have blamed him? His job required him to be gone days or weeks at a time, and every time he felt the plane leave the tarmac, he felt terrible for leaving Blythe all by herself. He hadn't meant any harm, he just wanted to spend the day with his little girl, savor every moment of their time together.

 _Maybe I deserved that,_ he thought as he sat in Anna's office. _Maybe I did spend too much time hovering over her._

Either way, his heart felt like a knife had been put through it.

###################################

Minka was sitting with Olive near the kibble dispenser, laughing at something that hadn't been said. Zoe had been listening as she ate, listening to what sounded like a one sided conversation involving just Minka, while Olive remained silent in her shell.

"Hey, Zoe, do you mind coming back in a little bit?" Minka asked. "Olive and I are opening up to each other. It's sort of a private affair."

Zoe swallowed the kibble she'd chewed up. "It must be private, considering that only one of you is talking," she said as she walked away.

 _That is one strange monkey_ , she thought to herself. _I mean, she can already be pretty weird when she wants to be, but that's monkeys for you. Still, I haven't seen any other monkey who spends the entire day talking to a tortoise who won't talk back because she won't come out of her shell._

 _###########################_

Blythe stood behind the counter, having just finished counting out the money in the register. After making sure that the correct amount was in there, she took out her phone and opened up the photo gallery, sorting through the pictures of her and her father. There was the picture they took on their trip to Los Angeles, when they took Vinnie to the set of _Shake-A-Leg_ ; her sixth grade graduation, where she had sung a song in honor of her mother; the night she helped save Littlest Pet Shop from going out of business….

What she had said to her father earlier….She wasn't even sure if she had meant it. It was true that she was overwhelmed by his presence, hovering over her all day, but looking back on it, was it really such a bad thing? Looking at this from his perspective, had he really been trying to humiliate her, make her look like a fool in front of Josh and the Biskits?

Maybe he never really meant any harm. Maybe he really was just trying to savor every moment they had together, even if he got a little carried away.

The sound of a hammer filled the room. The banging was coming from Mrs. Twombly's office, where Roger was busy fixing the bulletin board, hammering a new set of nails into the corners to keep it hooked to the wall.

"Um….Are you good back here?" she asked.

"I'm great, thanks," Roger said as he kept hammering away.

She wanted to say something, she started to say something, but what could she have said to take the pain away? A simple apology wouldn't do, not at all. She could tell by the way he talked that he was just as upset as she was, if not more.

She turned and left the office, not wanting to look at her father, not with that guilty look she knew she had in her eyes.

The bell jingled as the door opened. "Hello," she said, trying to hide the sorrow in her voice. "Are you here to pick up a pet from Day Camp?"

"Yes I am, young lady," the man said. He seemed to be about the same age as her father, with thick gray hair and a moustache to match. "My name is Ken, and I'm here to pick up my pet tortoise Olive."

"Oh, sure," Blythe said. "Just let me go back and –"

Roger poked his head out of the office. "Ken? Ken Concafka? I thought I recognized that voice." He hurried out of the office, over to the other man.

"Hey, it's Rog!" Ken cheered as he and Roger shook hands. "How've you been, you big goofball?"

"Living the dream," Roger replied. "Great job, great kid, great place to live."

"How do you know this guy, Dad?" Blythe asked.

"Blythe, this is Ken Concafka," Roger answered. "We were in flight school together."

"Oh, Dad's mentioned you a few times," Blythe said. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Concafka."

Roger patted Ken on the shoulder. "Hey, remember the idiot who landed on Instructor Hartmann's car?"

"Oh yeah, Stevie. Oh man, that guy – I swear, he couldn't fly his way out of a wet paper bag."

"That's what we thought," Roger laughed. "And then he turns around and joins the Blue Angels. Who'd have thought it, huh? But we sure had some good times together, just the two of us."

Blythe couldn't help but smile as the two older men laughed.

####################################

By Russell's estimate, it was almost time for their owners to come and pick them up, but Minka's owners weren't going to find her if she continued to hide under that bowl.

"…Explain…?"

"I'm trying to be more tortoise-y," Minka said. "That way Olive and I can really relate to each other and do all the fun tortoise-y things together. You know, ride bikes, go to the beach, eat ice cream at the park – just a couple of best friends having fun together."

"Minka, look, we need to talk about this," Russell said. "You're a great friend and all, but you can't force Olive to be your friend. How do you know you haven't been too overbearing towards her?"

"I'm not being overbearing, and nobody's forcing her to be my friend," Minka said. "She chose to be friends with me. Right, Olive?" Olive remained silent.

Minka stood up, throwing the bowl off of her head. "Olive! Olive Shellstein! You come out of that shell and tell everyone you're friends with me right now!" Olive still gave no response, which made Minka start hooting and hollering with frustration.

She fell onto her back, landing on the floor. "Forget it. That tortoise isn't going to even poke a foot out. I give up."

"And I was just starting to like you."

Minka looked up, saw a green, scaly face looking down at her, a face attached to a long neck coming out of the shell, along with four stubby little legs.

"Olive!" She leaped at Olive, throwing her arms around the tortoise's neck in a big monkey hug. "You actually came out of your shell!"

"I was waiting for you to stop trying to force us to be friends and just let it happen naturally," Olive said.

"Olive, I'm sorry," Minka said. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"It's okay, I understand."

"Cool. So, now that that's taken care of – Pepper! Where's your cowboy hat? This monkey has a tortoise to ride!"

#################################

Blythe had listened to the two older men joke and laugh long enough; she had to go get Olive from Day Camp. She had expected to see Minka still trying to force Olive to be her friend, but instead, saw Minka riding atop Olive's shell, the tortoise very slowly making her way across the room as Minka spun a small cowboy hat above her head.

"Minka, should you really be doing that?"

"Why not?" Minka asked in return. "Olive loves giving shell back rides. Don't you, Olive?"

"That's right," Olive said with a slow nod of her head.

"We're having so much fun together, Olive and I, and whenever we get the chance, we're going to spend all of our time together."

Blythe felt the sting of tears in her eyes, all of the guilt and sorrow of her earlier outburst finally catching up to her as she watched Olive and Minka play.

"That – that's great," she said, not even bothering trying to hide it as she let it all come out, sobbing as she ran for the play hydrant in the corner.

"Did I miss something?" Russell asked as Blythe pulled herself inside the hydrant.

"Since – since I asked to be alone," Blythe sobbed, "then I should just be alone, even if I don't want to be."

She heard the door open as Roger and Ken came into the room. "Hey Blythe, Ken has to get going soon. Do you have Olive?"

"Right there," Blythe said between sobs, pointing to the small tortoise in the center of the room.

"Well, what do you know, my little tortoise has finally decided to come out of her shell," Ken said as he picked Olive up. "Well, Rog, it was nice seeing you again." He turned to the hydrant. "And, uh, you too, Blythe. Well, I'm off."

Roger waited until he saw Ken leave the building before poking his head through the little pet hole in the play hydrant. Blythe pulled her legs back, tucking her knees against her chest as the tears continued to stream down her face.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Being alone," Blythe said as she wiped her eyes.

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I – I thought I did," Blythe sobbed. "Dad, I – I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry I told you to leave me alone. I didn't mean any of it."

Roger reached out to Blythe, lightly patted her on the foot. "It's okay, honey. I guess I was being a bit overbearing today. It's just that I feel bad leaving you home by yourself all the time. It tears me up inside having to leave you behind and being away from home so much."

Blythe sniffed and wiped her eyes again. "And you have no idea how much I miss you. But we don't have to be together every second to enjoy our time together."

"Yeah, you're right," Roger said. "So I'll tell you what, let's get out of this dog magnet and go get a nice big pizza. Ice cream to follow."

"Sounds like a plan," Blythe agreed as she wiped her eyes again.

Roger strained to back out of the small hole. "Just, uh…Give me a few minutes."

"You're stuck, aren't you?"

Roger tried to back out again; failed. "Yup. When Anna comes back, think she'll be willing to look for a crowbar? Or maybe go get some butter?"

Blythe couldn't help but laugh, Roger joining her a second later.


	17. What's in the Batter

WHAT'S IN THE BATTER

THE BELL RANG, SIGNALING THE END OF CLASS, AND THE END OF THE WEEK. STUDENTS hurried out of the building, some rushing for the buses, some rushing for cars – whether they belonged to the students or their parents, Blythe couldn't tell; she was just happy that this long week was over.

There had been a physical fitness test in PE, which Sue of course aced; that test in Chemistry yesterday would have gone a little better, had she not been distracted by Josh Sharpe; on Monday, she'd thrown out her voice during Chorus class, which really bothered her, since she was performing one of her favorite songs from Carrie Underwood; and today, they had to dissect a frog in Biology class, which wouldn't have been so bad, if her frog didn't have eggs in it.

"Finally," Sue breathed. "I thought this week would never end. So, anyone up for a park visit?"

"This guy," Jasper said as he raised his hand.

Blythe opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by her father pulling up to the curb.

"Maybe later," she said as she ran to the curb. She opened the door and climbed into the back seat. "I thought your flight wasn't getting in until later tonight?"

"Later tonight in Sydney, an hour ago here," Roger replied as he reached for the glove box. "I got you something." He handed Blythe a small black box.

Blythe opened the box, pulled out the contents. "A candy necklace? Seriously?"

"Yeah. I used to always get those for you, remember?"

"When I was seven," Blythe whispered in reply.

Roger chuckled. "Just kidding." He handed her another black box. "Here's the real gift."

Blythe was apprehensive; if the first box contained a candy necklace, then who knew what this box contained. She held the box in her hand and slowly opened it, her breath stopping at what she saw.

It was the most beautiful golden necklace she'd ever seen. The chain was looped, with a hook at the end to connect the two halves together, and connected to the chain was a gorgeous golden butterfly studded with sapphires and emeralds.

As gorgeous as it was, there was something familiar about it.

"Is this one of my designs?"

"Yup. I stopped by a jeweler and had her make it for me. Hope you like it."

"Like it? I love it." She reached up to give her father a hug. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome, Blythe. Hey, if you're not going to eat that rock candy…."

Blythe handed him the necklace, and he started chewing on it.

##################################

Whittany and Brittany Biskit were so relieved that this long, boring school week was finally over. This week felt like three weeks all bundled into one. It was even worse than last week, which felt like two weeks put together.

After all this time, they needed a break, and not just a two day weekend. They needed something else, something more, something special. But the question was, what?

"Garcon, could you, like, stop at that bakery, whatever it's called?" Whittany asked. "We need to treat ourselves to one of those…whatever they're called."

"Of course, Miss Whittany."

The limo stopped right outside of Sweet Delights, allowing the twins to climb out of the car and stretch their legs as they made their way to the door. They were instantly greeted by the mouth watering scent of cakes, pies, muffins, cupcakes, doughnuts, and other baked goods.

Their already sour mood became even more sour when they spotted Youngmee Song.

"Good afternoon, Whittany and Brittany, she said cheerfully. "Welcome to Sweet Delights. What can I do for you?"

"Okay, back off," Whittany said, holding up one hand to stop Youngmee. "Give us a minute to look around. Geez!"

"Yeah," Brittany added. "What, you want us to buy out the whole store or something?"

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" Whittany asked as she sniffed a cupcake.

"Sorry. Take all the time you need," Youngmee said. _Geez, try to be friendly and they act like you killed their cat or something._

"Fine," Brittany growled. "We'll buy out the whole store. Happy now?"

"Um…." was all Youngmee could say.

Brittany joined her twin sister in examining the baked goods, trying to figure out which one they wanted. There were so many choices to pick from, so many delicious smelling sweets.

Whittany suddenly turned. "Brit, you just gave me a great idea about what we should do. We should throw a party!"

"That's a great idea, Whit. Especially since our last party went so well."

Their last party was only a few short weeks ago, and they still had no idea why everyone looked so bored.

Brittany pulled out her phone and opened up her messenger app. "Whit, I just texted you about how amazing that last party was."

"Really? Because I just sent you the same thing."

 _I'm never going to understand those two,_ Youngmee thought to herself.

##################################

The pets had followed Buttercream back through the hole in the wall – Russell was surprised that Mrs. Twombly hadn't had that hole filled in yet – and into the kitchen. The cabinets and fridge were locked and covered in tarps, preventing them from getting into the flour and other such ingredients.

Not that they had any plans to do that ever again, after what happened when the store first opened.

And so here they were in the kitchen again, Buttercream going on and on about some of the new utensils Aunt Chrissie had gotten.

"And the latest addition is this batter-matter mixer-dixer. Anyone wanna take a peekie-weekie at it?" The other pets all clamored in response, so Buttercream pulled the tarp off of a large mixer.

The other pets all oohed and awed in amazement at the large, glimmering white mixer.

"That is one big mixing thingie," Vinnie breathed.

"And so shiny," Minka put in.

"And now Aunt Chrissie can mix up her cookie dough super duper lickety split," Buttercream said. "Who wants to see a whirly-twirly?"

"If you're asking if we want to see how it works," Russell translated, "then yes. Yes we do."

Buttercream pushed a button, turning on the mixer, and as it began to spin, she leaped up onto the whisk. The other pets cheered as Buttercream spun around on the whisk - it looked like so much fun!

"Wait a minute!" Minka called. She turned the mixer off and scooped some batter out of the bowl. "I think I feel a bit of artistic inspiration coming on!" The threw the batter against the nearby oven and began spreading it around with her paws, making a vague picture. "Another in my super popular Splatter Series."

"I would be inclined to agree," Sunil said. "Except for one thing."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"That's batter, not paint."

'It's tastier than paint, that's for sure," Penny Ling said as she licked the batter off the oven. The other pets joined her in licking the batter.

##########################################

Brittany's scream nearly shattered the windows of the bakery.

"I just thought of something!" she cried. "We can't throw a party yet! It's not our birthday!"

"Like, you're right," Whittany agreed. "And our half birthday isn't for another three months. I don't feel like waiting another three whole months." She was quiet for a few seconds. "Brit, I just got, like, one of those brain things."

"An idea?" Brittany asked.

"We might not be able to celebrate our half birthday, but we can still celebrate our quarter birthday."

 _Quarter birthday? You can't be serious,_ Youngmee thought with a sigh.

"Oh, I forgot you were here, person who was waiting on us," Brittany said. "Glad you're still here, because we want to hire you."

"What for?" Youngmee asked; knowing these two, it couldn't have been anything good.

"Catering to our quarter birthday party, of course," Whittany said. "We need two hundred assorted cupcakes by this time tomorrow."

Youngmee's jaw dropped. Two hundred assorted cupcakes, in less than twenty-four hours? It sounded impossible. Sure, she and Aunt Chrissie had had a similar order to fill before, but not on such a tight schedule - an order like this was usually made at least a week in advance, and here were the Biskit Twins, asking for it in barely one day. She was sure Aunt Chrissie would deny, but this was the Twins they were talking about! They NEVER took "no" for an answer! She remembered how they reacted when Blythe told them no...twice...and she didn't feel like going through that.

But still, two people making two hundred cupcakes in twenty-four hours? That meant that within that time period, they would have to make sixteen cupcakes per hour, eight per person. How could they ever hope to manage that?

"Of course," Brittany said, "if you can't handle it, we'll just take our business elsewhere."

"No, no, wait!" Youngmee called to them as they walked to the door. "We can do it. We'll get it done by tomorrow, I promise."

"Don't disappoint," Whittany growled as the twins pushed past Youngmee and walked out the door.

They had just passed the threshold when they bumped into Blythe, spilling their coffee on their plaid shirts.

"Like, watch where you're going, you klutz!" Whittany screamed.

"I'm sorry; it was an accident," Blythe said.

Brittany glowered at Blythe. "Just for that, you are officially uninvited to our quarter birthday party tomorrow."

"Wow, I'm so crushed," Blythe said flatly.

"Come on, Whit," Brittany said. "Let's get out of here before another disaster happens." They stormed out the door and climbed into the car.

The pets had watched the entire scene unfold. They knew the Biskit Twins could be mean and rude, but this...This was a completely different level of mean and rude.

"Did you see the way those two treated Blythe?" Pepper asked as they made their way back to the kitchen.

"Their behavior was truly uncalled for," Sunil said. "I say we gather up torches and pitchforks and after dark, we hunt them down like angry villagers. Any seconds?" The other pets were just staring at him. "I'm getting the feeling that no one agrees."

"Sunil, you really need to cut down on the late night monster movies," Zoe said. The other pets all nodded in agreement.

While they were going back to the kitchen, Minka stayed right where she was, her eyes fixated on the golden necklace Blythe was wearing. She hadn't seen it on Blythe before; she would have recognized that gold butterfly studded with diamonds and rubies.

It was no secret that Minka loved shiny objects. Whenever she saw anything shiny and pretty, she had to get her little monkey paws on it, no matter what it was - a necklace, a watch, one of Mrs. Twombly's doorknobs. She would have made her move, asked Blythe if she could at least see it, had Blythe not waved her off a few seconds before Youngmee came back from the back room.

"Notice anything different today, Youngmee?" Blythe asked. She pointed to the necklace.

"That is some serious bling," Youngmee said.

"Better than bling," Blythe replied. "It's actually one of my own designs that my dad had made up for me while he was in Australia. Cool, huh?"

"Yeah," Youngmee said with a sigh.

"Uh-oh. What's wrong now?"

"I just committed Aunt Chrissie to deliver two hundred cupcakes by this time tomorrow. Chrissie left me in charge while she went off on a business trip, so I'd better get started."

"Two hundred cupcakes? I'm afraid to ask why."

"Get this. Whittany and Brittany Biskit are throwing themselves a -"

"Quarter birthday party?" Blythe finished. "Yeah, I just got uninvited to it. I'm _so_ upset."

Youngmee giggled. "Yeah, well, I guess I'd better get started."

"You're probably going to need an extra set of hands," Blythe said. "Like mine."

"I was kind of hoping you'd say that. Hey, let's get Jasper and Sue over here. I think they'll be happy to help out."

########################################

As Youngmee had expected, Jasper and Sue agreed to help out, and as soon as they showed up, they got started. Youngmee set to work getting out all the ingredients - the flour, the icing, the food coloring - and while she was doing that - and they waited for the oven to warm up - Sue and Blythe started getting the batter mixed up.

Barely four hours had gone by, and they were already covered in batter and food coloring, mixed in with the sweat on their skin - even with the air conditioning running, the heat from the oven was permeating the air. The batter and icing had gotten onto the walls and the counter, but that could be dealt with later; it was time to start filling the trays.

Each cupcake tray held twelve cupcakes, so Youngmee figured they needed about seventeen trays. Not all seventeen trays would go into the oven at once, as the oven only had room for six at a time, and it took about an hour for the cupcakes to bake. The total baking time, by their estimates, would come out to around three hours, but they still didn't have all the cupcakes mixed up.

And on top of all of this, Youngmee had to keep Sue and Jasper from starting a food fight with the ingredients.

With the icing and sprinkles on the cupcakes, it was time to put the trays on the cart. It had taken them nearly twelve hours, starting early in the afternoon and going well into the early morning hours, but they had finally finished. Blythe and Jasper could barely stand; Sue had splashed water on her face to stay awake.

But none of that mattered.

All that mattered was that they were finished.

Blythe had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She'd never been so exhausted before; they had spent nearly twelve hours on the cupcakes, and even though she'd gotten to sleep at around five in the morning, about nine hours ago, she felt like she could sleep for the rest of the day.

And she would have stayed asleep, had Minka not woken her up by lifting her eyelid.

All the pets were gathered on the foot of her bed.

She sat up, yawned and rubbed her eyes. "What are you all doing here?"

"We wanted to see your new shiny shiny pretty necklace," Minka chattered excitedly.

"You mean, YOU wanted to see it," Russell corrected her. "The rest of us came along to make sure she didn't disturb you too much."

Blythe lay back down, pulling the blanket back up to her chin. "Maybe later, Minka," she moaned. "I was up all night baking and it feels like I barely got any sleep."

Minka put her little monkey paws on Blythe's face. "PUH-LEEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEE!"

"Think of it like this, Blythe," Russell said. "The sooner you show the necklace to Minka, the sooner you can get back to sleep."

Blythe huffed in annoyance, but sat up anyway. "Fine," she yawned. "But only for a second."

Minka was quiet for a second as she examined Blythe's neck, expecting to see the pretty gold butterfly.

"Is your necklace invisible, because it's not there."

"WHAT!" She pawed at her neck, checked her shirt – maybe it had fallen off during the night – but couldn't feel it. She checked the sheets, but it wasn't there. She looked under her bed, looked on her dresser, but she couldn't find it.

"Did you lose it?" Minka asked.

"No!" Blythe cried. "No, I couldn't have!" She ripped the covers off the bed, lifted the mattress off the frame; no necklace. "MY NECKLACE IS MISSING!"

######################################

An hour later, Blythe still had no luck finding her necklace. She had turned her entire room, her entire apartment upside down trying to find it, but the necklace was gone. The last place she remembered seeing it was while she was baking with her friends, but she still had it on her when she had gone to bed.

Or at least, she thought that she had.

The pets had searched the shop, and Buttercream had volunteered to search Sweet Delights, but still, no luck.

"A necklace can't just disappear," Sunil said.

"Not if you're trying to make it vanish," Pepper sneered. Sunil just glared at her. "What? It's true."

"Uh, guys? What if my necklace fell into the cupcake batter last night while I was baking?" Blythe guessed.

"Then one of the cupcakes has not only squishy chocolatey goodness," Buttercream said, "but also necklacy-necklace to boot too, tours."

"What?" Blythe asked.

"I don't know," Buttercream said with a shrug of her little bunny shoulders. "Anyhoo." She hopped up onto the windowsill where Blythe was sitting. "Those treats already hit the streets. Aunt Chrissie took them over to the Biskits' birthday bash."

"That's not good," Blythe huffed.

"Can't your dad just get you a new necklace?" Russell asked.

"No, I can't," Blythe answered. "My dad has this one made up for me personally. I can't just give it up. I need to get it back; it means too much to me. So, pets, anyone up for Operation: Cupcake?" The pets all hooted and hollered and chattered their affirmative responses. "Okay. I'm sure Youngmee will be happy to help too."

##################################

Youngmee was not happy to help.

"You want us to make two hundred MORE cupcakes in just a few hours' time?!" she cried. The poor girl looked just as bad, if not worse, than Blythe – sagging eyelids, dark circles under her eyes, her normally cute black hair was unkempt and messy, with hints of cupcake batter and sprinkles and icing still in her hair. Even the flower bows holding her pigtails together were beginning to fray.

"I'm sorry, Youngmee," Blythe said sincerely. "But I'm pretty sure my necklace got baked into one of those cupcakes last night. We need to get that batch back and replace them with new ones. Please, Youngmee? That necklace means a lot to me."

Youngmee tried – and failed – to hold in a yawn. "Well, if it means that much to you, then let's get started."

#####################################

Compared to last night, baking this batch seemed to be less fun and more miserable. The cupcakes were coming out lopsided and crooked, the icing was barely going on top – that was thanks to the girls being so tired they were struggling to stay awake and barely concentrating on what they were doing – and at one point, Youngmee nearly burned herself when she went to grab a tray out of the oven without a mitt.

Somehow, they had managed to bake all two hundred assorted cupcakes in just a few hours, despite their exhaustion and the team being cut down by half.

"They look the same to me," Blythe said tiredly, trying to stifle a yawn as she leaned against the counter, trying her hardest to fight off sleep.

"They look…better…than…before," Youngmee said, before she collapsed against the wall.

"Youngmee, wake up!" Blythe hollered. She filled a measuring cup with some water and splashed her friend with it.

"I'm cupcake!" Youngmee cried. "I mean, I'm awake!"

##################################

Their party seemed to be a big hit with their guests. Many of the guests included the jocks and other popular kids from school, as well as a few of their father's friends and business associates. At least one person was hovering around the small pool in the middle of the ballroom – which was currently inhabited by their pet baby tiger shark Shere Khan – their father had named him after a cartoon tiger. An ice swan had been set up near the refreshments table, which was also where the twins were sitting, their eyes glued to their phones as they texted each other back and forth.

"I just texted you about how awesome our party is," Brittany said, speaking loudly to be heard over the synthesized electronic music.

"I just sent you the same text," Whittany laughed. "That's so weird, isn't it?"

Brittany put her phone back into her pocket and picked up the cupcake on the plate in front of her. "Want to split it?"

"Like, yeah," Whittany said.

The two sisters each grabbed a half of the cupcake and pulled, covering the plate and table with crumbs, sprinkles, and hardened icing.

There was a loud CLANG as something heavy and metal landed on the plate.

That something was a gold butterfly necklace studded with rubies and sapphires.

Brittany picked the necklace up by the yellow string. "Whittany, did you know that there was a necklace in this cupcake?" she asked her twin sister.

"I didn't. So random."

"Seriously."

Whittany's eyes lit up. "Maybe it's your quarter birthday present from Daddy. He probably had our presents baked into these cupcakes as a surprise."

Brittany rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Our quarter birthday only comes once a year. I think I deserve something better than a necklace. I don't care how pretty it is; I'm sure Daddy can do better than a necklace in a cupcake."

"There might be better presents in other cupcakes," Whittany suggested. "Let's find out."

Just then, someone walked past. Two someones, hauling a cart full of the most disgusting looking cupcakes they had ever seen. There was something familiar about those two, something they couldn't put their fingers on at first, and that was when they weren't being distracted by the horrible skunk-like stench coming from the bottom of the cart.

After a few seconds, they recognized those two as Blythe Baxter and Youngmee Song.

They watched as the two girls made their way to the refreshments table and began to remove a plate of cupcakes.

"Can you believe this?" Brittany asked. "Blythe's helping herself to all our cupcakes!"

"I guess you were right about her hiding her pain," Whittany added.

They stood up from their seats and made their way to the refreshment table, just as Blythe and Youngmee began swapping out trays of cupcakes. "Hello, Blythe," Whittany growled. "And other person we keep seeing but can't be bothered to remember your name. I guess you just couldn't stay away, could you?"

"Yeah, you're crashing our party," Brittany added. "And that's, like, so not cool."

"I'm not 'crashing', I'm working," Blythe said. "There's a difference, right Youngmee?" Blythe's friend couldn't answer, not with her leaning against the cart, her eyes sagging, her mouth open in a wide yawn.

"Were you raised in a barn?" Brittany snapped. "At least hide your mouth if you're going to do that!"

"Sorry. I'm just really tired," Youngmee said. "Blythe and I were up all night baking these cupcakes."

"People bake? When did that start?" Whittany asked.

"Uh, since Mesopotamia times," Blythe snarked. "We just finished swapping these old cupcakes with these new cupcakes."

"And…why would you do that?" Brittany asked in annoyance.

"So that way you'll have the freshest, most delicious cupcakes on your special day," Blythe replied, holding the tray out for Whittany to take a cupcake.

Whittany took a cupcake and examined it closely, silently scrutinizing it for a moment. "Well, these cupcakes aren't warm and moist, and they're all lopsided and crooked. Who made these, a monkey?"

Blythe couldn't help but internally laugh as the thought of Minka trying to bake a batch of cupcakes went through her mind.

She took the cupcake from Whittany. "Well, lopsided is the new delicious," she said as she took a bite. Surprisingly, it was actually pretty tasty. "Happy quarter birthday, girls."

The twins shared an annoyed glance between each other before turning back to Blythe and Youngmee, the latter still trying to stay awake. "You mean to tell us that you're giving us this new batch of cupcakes just to be nice?" Brittany asked.

"To…US?' Whittany added.

"Believe it or not, yes," Blythe replied cheerily. "What other reason would we have? It's not like we have any ulterior motives. Just doing something nice for someone on their special day."

"And you honestly expect us to believe that?" Whittany asked. "Brittany, you and me, talk in private, now."

Blythe and Youngmee breathed a sigh of relief as the twins walked away. They waited a few seconds before continuing swapping out the cupcakes, unaware of what the twins were saying just a few yards away.

"I'm willing to bet that Blythe and that other girl are here to get the gifts Daddy put in the cupcakes for us," Whittany said.

"That is, like, so not cool," Brittany added.

Clenching their fists, the twins made their way back over to the table, just as Blythe and Youngmee finished swapping out the cupcakes; they were just putting the last tray on their cart. Those cupcakes, the first batch, belonged to them despite Youngmee and Blythe baking them, and anything their father had put in the cupcakes belonged to them as well. There was no way they were going to let these two walk away with what was rightfully theirs.

"Blythe, other girl we don't know or care about, we know what you're up to, and we don't want these new cupcakes," Whittany hissed.

"We want the old cupcakes," Brittany added.

"Trust me, you're better off with the new ones," Blythe said. "Youngmee, we'd better pick up the pace."

Whittany pulled the cart away before the other girls could start loading it again. "Old cupcakes!"

"No, new cupcakes!" Blythe cried as she tried to pull the cart back. Whittany had a surprisingly strong grip for being so dainty.

###################################

The pets had tagged along with Blythe and Youngmee, with Blythe's permission, on the grounds that they keep quiet while hiding under the cart. Minka, surprisingly, hadn't started having a panic attack, considering the cramped quarters filled with eight pets, but Pepper, on the other hand….Her stench was enough to nearly cause Russell to blow their cover.

They had been listening to Blythe argue with the Biskit Twins, and were now being rocked back and forth as Blythe and Whittany fought for it.

Minka couldn't take it anymore. The cramped spaces, coupled with being shaken up like a banana milkshake, was beginning to take its toll on her; she had to get out of there. She opened the door on the bottom of the cart, just in time to see a cupcake with sparkling sprinkles fall off the tray and roll into the middle of the dance floor, the lights from the strobe lights reflecting off of them, catching her eye.

"Minka! Get your furry monkey tail back here!" Russell called after her.

The little monkey wasn't listening; she was too fixated on the cupcake's shiny sprinkles. She was about to grab it when someone kicked it across the room.

"We have to get Minka back before someone sees her," Russell said.

"And if Minka's found, we'll all be found," Zoe added with worry. "Pets, move out!"

The seven pets filed out of their little hiding place in the cart, their eyes scanning the room for Minka.

Minka was still on the dance floor, still chasing the cupcake, which kept getting kicked across the room. She finally caught up to it as it landed on the DJ's table, and would have grabbed it if she didn't get stuck on the turntable. She moved her little monkey legs, trying to reach the cupcake, causing the music to play at an even faster tempo than it already had been.

Russell, Zoe, and Sunil scurried across the dance floor, trying not to get trampled by all the people. It wasn't an easy feat, as there were so many people that maneuvering around them was proving to be incredibly difficult; particularly in Zoe's case, as many of the colors given off by the people's clothes and the strobe lights were invisible to a dog. Even worse, their cries for Minka were going unheard thanks to that loud noise these people dared to call "music".

Unfortunately, this music was distracting to just one pet – Vinnie Terrio. The little gecko couldn't help but start busting a move, his desire to show off his dance moves overriding his desire to find Minka.

His little dance was interrupted by the sound of a screaming woman.

"She must be screaming about you, Vinnie," Zoe said jokingly, "because I'm a cute little puppy dog."

"I think that's our cue to haul tail, pets!" Russell cried as he and the other pets went running – or in Buttercream's case, hopping – past. "Haul paw!"

There was a huge panic, people running around, screaming and hollering, one boy knocking the burly security guard into the pool with the baby tiger shark.

This went unnoticed by Blythe, Youngmee, and the twins, as they had spent the last ten minutes fighting over the cupcake cart. Whittany just happened to glance over to the dance floor before she finally noticed the commotion. She tapped her sister on the shoulder, getting her attention as well and making her let go of the cart.

The sudden change in tension caused Blythe and Youngmee to topple to the floor.

"Why is everyone screaming, and not in the good way?" Whittany asked.

"Yeah. If anyone's going to scream, it's going to be us," Brittany added, and the twins opened their mouths to scream as loud as they could.

"Youngmee, quick! While they're distracted," Blythe said. "We have to finish what we started. Hurry." They were about to put the last tray on the cart –

Only to be interrupted by the security guard running into them and knocking the cart over, screaming in pain thanks to the baby tiger shark latched onto his nose.

"Well, that's just great," Youngmee grumbled as she and Blythe picked themselves up off the floor; the pets had joined them a few seconds ago. "Now we can't tell them apart."

"My necklace could be in any one of them!" Blythe cried in anguish.

"Well, there's only one thing to diddly-do," Buttercream said. "Squish-smash all the tasty treats." She dove into the largest pile of cupcakes, coming out covered in crumbs, icing, and sprinkles.

The other pets joined in, smashing and squashing as many cupcakes as they could. Vinnie even threw some against the wall. He threw one cupcake, which hit a woman in the face, making the man closest to her start laughing.

He wasn't laughing when the woman threw a pizza at him. He managed to duck, causing the pizza to hit one of the jocks in the face. The jock took a piece of pepperoni off of his face and popped into his mouth, before yelling at the top of his lungs:

"FOOD FIGHT!"

Food was tossed left and right, thrown all across the room, Blythe, Youngmee, and the pets barely managing to avoid getting hit by ducking behind the cupcake cart and under the refreshment table. What had once been an obnoxious but otherwise peaceful party had now turned into a war zone.

"Stop that!" Brittany cried.

"You're ruining our quarter birthday party!" Whittany yelled.

The only response they got from anyone was two kids dumping macaroni salad onto their heads.

Whittany picked up a loaf of bread that had landed at her feet. "This is all Blythe's fault," she growled.

Brittany joined her sister in preparing to attack Blythe Baxter. "She is going to pay."

"With interest."

The twins stormed over to Blythe, where she, her friend, and those filthy little creatures were crushing the cupcakes that had fallen onto the floor. "Blythe Baxter! Get up! Now!" Brittany growled.

Blythe could feel her stomach tighten into several knots and her heart leap into her throat. She'd seen and heard the Biskit Twins angry before, but in this case, they looked like they were out for blood. Not that she could blame them, of course, considering that, in a way, she was responsible for everything that was happening here.

To think, it all stemmed from one little necklace.

"Girls, look, I'm really sorry about all this," Blythe said. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I was just trying to find my necklace."

"Necklace?" Brittany repeated. She dropped the bread she was holding and reached into her blouse pocket, pulling out the golden butterfly necklace. "I assume you're talking about this."

"Yes! That's it!" Blythe cried with excitement.

"And here we were thinking it was something Daddy gave to us," Brittany said.

"Well, my dad had it made for me," Blythe retorted.

"That makes sense," Whittany said. "Why would OUR dad think we'd ever be caught dead wearing such a cheap novelty?"

To everyone else in the vicinity, they just heard a chattering monkey, but to Blythe, she heard Minka growl: "The shiny doesn't belong to you!" She leaped up to Brittany, snatching the necklace from the girl's hand, and jumped back to Blythe. "Here you go."

"Thank you, Minka."

"Like, seriously, you didn't have to sic your rabid monkey on me, Blythe," Brittany hissed.

"Yeah, Brit was going to give you back that piece of junk," Whittany agreed.

Minka chattered at her; Zoe growled; Blythe glared. "It's not a piece of junk," she said quietly, her voice dripping with a sort of tranquil fury she wasn't sure she could ever muster.

Sunil walked up to Whittany, raised his little mongoose paw, and kicked her on the ankle as hard as he could – which wasn't that hard, considering his tiny stature. But it was enough to cause Whittany to cling to her twin sister for dear life.

"Blythe, take this rat and your other filthy animals and get out of here!" Whittany yelled, almost on the verge of tears. "Now!"

"Gladly," Blythe growled. "But before I do, I have something to say." She walked over to the twins, practically getting into their faces, so close she could count their eyelashes. "Sunil is not a rat! He is a mongoose! And this necklace is not a piece of junk! My father had it made for me when he was in Australia, so it means more to me than you two will ever comprehend! When I designed this necklace, I was thinking about my mother, who – not like you two give a care – died when I was a little kid! So this 'piece of junk', as you call it, means the world to me! But it's not like you know or care about that, since your heads are shoved so far up your backsides that the only things you care about are yourselves! So how about you do me a favor and GET A FREAKING LIFE! Youngmee, pets, we're leaving. Now."

Youngmee was almost afraid to move; she had never heard Blythe explode like that. Her sudden burst of anger, her rant towards the twins, made her blood run cold.

To be blunt, Youngmee had just learned that Blythe could be scary when she was angry.

But she knew Blythe was right. Everything she had said, it was true as far as Youngmee was concerned, and she wasn't thinking that just because Blythe was her best friend. She couldn't begin to guess the emotions flowing through Blythe right now, or what she had felt when she made that initial design. But unlike the twins, she knew to keep her mouth shut about what could possibly be an incredibly touchy subject.

So with the twins' mouths hanging open with shock, Blythe, Youngmee, and the pets walked past them, Blythe nearly throwing the twins to the floor as she stormed past them.

"Wow," Whittany said once they were out of earshot. "She needs to, like, chill."

"I was just about to send you a text saying that," Brittany said.

####################################

The first thing Blythe and Youngmee did after returning the pets to Day Camp was to go to Blythe's room and collapse on the bed. For the longest time, neither girl said anything; they just stared at the ceiling, waiting for the Sandman to come and finally let them get more than two hours' worth of sleep.

"I'm so tired," Blythe grumbled. "Good thing this day finally ended."

Youngmee yawned. "And now we can finally get some sleep," she said. "But first, Blythe, don't go off like that again."

"Sorry," Blythe said. "I can usually hold my anger in. But the twins had pushed one too many buttons. But let's forget about that right now. I have a date with the insides of my eye lids."

Not five seconds after she closed her eyes, she snapped them open when Jasper and Sue burst through the door.

"Hey you two, we're ready to bake," Jasper announced.

"Please tell me you did not just say the 'B' word," Blythe muttered.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Sue asked. "We agreed to bake a cake tonight to celebrate the two-month anniversary of Blythe moving to town."

The only thing Blythe and Youngmee wanted to do right now was scream.


	18. What Did You Say?

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

THE FORECAST HAD CALLED FOR SCATTERED SHOWERS THROUGHOUT THE DAY, not one massive downpour throughout the morning. Oh well, Roger Baxter figured as he sat at the kitchen table; they needed the rain after that dry spell Downtown City had been going through.

Besides, the rain didn't bother him, not when he was reading the morning paper. He hadn't been home for longer than two days for the last two months, and he had a lot to catch up on, particularly in the sports department. The Cowboys had won against the Giants in a massive upset, but the Mets were beaten terribly by the Braves. A nasty wreck had occurred during a NASCAR race, and according to the TV Guide, _Lawnmower Wars_ was set to start again.

 _Gonna have to make sure to record that_ , he thought as he scooped up another spoonful of Fruit Loops. Also on the table was a cup of coffee, the sweet aroma of hazelnut creamer wafting up into his nose, enticing him to drink it.

He never noticed the figure shuffling down the hallway, coming from his daughter's room, until he heard that faint moan, the moan he had never thought he'd ever heard. It sounded almost like something out of a horror movie, like someone was sick and lying on his or her death bed.

Roger turned around and swallowed that last spoonful of cereal as Blythe shambled into the kitchen, looking absolutely terrible. Her eyelids were drooped, her eyes themselves red and bloodshot. Mucus was oozing out of her nose, and no matter how hard she wiped with that tissue in her hand, there just seemed to be too much of the disgusting fluid. Because her nose was no doubt clogged and stuffed, she had to breathe through her mouth, which was hanging limply open, showing Roger her swollen tongue and chapped lips.

"Either the zombie apocalypse has started ahead of schedule, or you got that bug Raoul had before," Roger mused.

Blythe coughed as she blew her nose. "I think it's the second one, Dad," she said, her voice sounding hoarse and nasally. She sneezed, the force of the sneeze nearly blowing the tissue out of her hand. "It's a nasty one, too."

"I'm no doctor, but I think you'd better turn your little self around and go right back to bed," Roger said as he caught Blythe when she stumbled. "You are in no condition to go anywhere or do anything."

"No, Dad," Blythe moaned. "I – I can't –" She turned and fell against the wall. "Okay, I guess I can."

"Just a moment." Roger reached into the cabinet and pulled out a small bottle. "Here, try some herbal cold medicine. It should help." He pulled a spoon out of the drawer and poured a little bit of medicine onto it.

The liquid was bright green, giving Blythe the impression that it tasted like apples. Instead, it tasted….She had no idea what it tasted like; all she knew was that it was terrible. Her throat felt like it was tightening to keep the horrible liquid from going down her esophagus, her tongue felt like the taste buds were being burnt off. It was the most disgusting thing she'd ever tasted!

"It tastes terrible!" she moaned as her body shook from the terrible taste lingering in her mouth.

"It's supposed to get rid of a cold fast," Roger said as he put the medicine bottle back in the cabinet. "Now you get back to bed. I'll call your school and tell them you won't be coming in today."

Blythe turned around again, trying not to fall against the wall this time, and shambled back to her room, shuffling through the door and struggling to maintain her balance.

 _Better let Mrs. Twombly know I won't be coming in to work around the shop today,_ she thought as she shuffled to the dumbwaiter, struggling to maintain her balance the entire time.

It took all of her strength – what was left of it, anyway – to lift the wall panel open and crawl into the dumbwaiter box. The dust in the shaft wasn't helping her clogged nose and tight lungs, but it was the fastest way to and from Littlest Pet Shop.

Even before she opened the panel to climb out, she heard the distinctive sounds of the pets in the day camp. Her little animal friends all stopped chasing that bouncing ball to greet her as she tumbled out of the dumbwaiter, barking and chattering and hooting for her attention and affection.

"I'm happy to see you guys too," she said as she petted them. "But I feel like garbage. Is Mrs. Twombly in yet?" She was expecting an answer, but all she got were the happy barks and chatters. "You guys, why are you going all animal on me? I can't understand a word you're saying."

And then it hit her.

Blythe's cold had eliminated her ability to talk to the pets!

This was far from a good thing. In fact, it was the worst thing Blythe could imagine happening. What was she supposed to do if she couldn't talk to the pets? How was she supposed to know that they wanted her to play with them, or that they needed new food and water in their bowls? What was she supposed to do if they wanted to tell her something funny that happened with their owners, but she couldn't understand them? What was she supposed to do now?

###############################

Vinnie had snuck outside when the rain stopped to chase a fly. Sure, his owner had given him his morning cricket, but a gecko still liked to chase the occasional fly every now and then. And that particular fly had been bothering him all morning, ever since he'd been dropped off at Day Camp.

"Come on," he whispered as he slowly approached the fly, his pads sticking to the wall. "Come to Vinnie, you little morsel." He slowly followed the fly, hiding behind a trash can and under a box, waiting for the fly to land.

The fly continued to hover just out of his reach, even with his long tongue. "Come on! Land, you stupid blimp! You're making me late for my mid-morning snack!"

Vinnie followed the fly over to the nearby dumpster, just in time for the fly to finally land on what was left of an apple core. He took aim, and leaped!

The fly moved out of the way, resulting in Vinnie smashing into an old coffee cup and drenching himself in stale coffee.

"Maybe I should just stick to frozen waffles," he mused as he wiped the gunk off of him.

"Vinnie! Are you out here?"

Vinnie climbed up to the edge of the dumpster. Penny Ling was in the alley, looking out towards the main street, the fly hovering just above her head.

"Over here, Penny Ling."

"Why are you playing in a dumpster?" Penny Ling asked as she turned to him.

"Well, I WAS chasing that insect buzzing around your head," Vinnie answered. He watched as the fly landed on Penny Ling's outstretched paw, like a bird perching on a person's arm. "What do you want?"

"Blythe came down from her room, but she's acting really weird," Penny Ling replied. She started to pet the fly. "I think she's sick or something." She was so busy petting the fly that she didn't see Vinnie tumble out of the dumpster. "So Russell sent me out to get you, so we can all think about what we should do about it."

She quickly moved out of the way as Vinnie leaped at the fly; Vinnie missed and slammed into the trash can, knocking it over and getting covered in various bits of garbage.

"Okay, fine," he mumbled. "I'll be right in."

Penny Ling smiled at him as she made her way back inside.

##################################

It was one thing to not be able to breathe through her nose, but even worse for Blythe was how her ears felt like they wouldn't pop, no matter how much they wanted to. She tugged at her ear lobes, trying to open her auditory canal. That only made her ear lobes sore. She tried digging into her ears, thinking that they were filled with wax. They were not. She held her nose and blew as hard as she could, trying to pop her ears from the inside. That only resulted in making her ear drums hurt more than they already were.

The whole time, the pets remained silent; or at least, they weren't saying anything she could understand. All that was coming out of them were the hoots, chatters, and barks she had been hearing for the last hour. The only one remaining silent was Penny Ling, who had just joined them after being outside for a few moments.

Blythe held up a hand, telling the pets to be quiet. "What am I going to do?" she grumbled. "What if – what if you guys need me, but I can't understand you to know that?" She was starting to panic now. "What if I can't talk to you guys ever again?!"

The pets barely had enough time to dodge a sneeze.

"You guys, this isn't good," Pepper announced.

"Yes," Sunil agreed. "Perhaps we need to take her to the veterinarian?"

"People don't go to veterinarians, Sunil," Russell corrected him.

"Then what do they go to?" Sunil asked. "A humanarian?"

"You think so, Russell?" Pepper asked. "Do people go to a humanarian?"

 _ZOE: When Blythe got up this morning,_

 _There was something wrong,_

 _Something she couldn't explain._

 _MINKA: She came to hear us talking; but_

 _Instead of a song, our words were all in vain._

 _PETS: Why can't she hear us talking, Russell?_

 _Russell, why can't she hear us speak?_

 _A humanarian! You can be a humanarian!_

 _Take her temperature and make a plan._

 _Because we need to cure this sick, this sick human._

 _Don't stop, until she hears us talking._

 _Don't stop, until she hears us speak._

 _PENNY LING: Tap her on the knee and look inside her ear._

 _Can you see anything wrong?_

 _PEPPER: Just scream really loudly to see if she can HEAR!_

 _SUNIL: Maybe I should play this gong._

 _PETS: Why can't she hear us talking, Russell?_

 _Russell, why can't she hear us speak?_

 _A humanarian! You can be a humanarian!_

 _Take her temperature and make a plan._

 _Because we need to cure this sick, this sick human!_

"ENOUGH!" Russell screamed at the top of his tiny hedgehog lungs. "I AM NOT A HUMANARIAN! I AM AN ANIMAL!" He let out an exasperated sigh. "And I'm sorry I can't help Blythe."

The door opened as Anna stepped into the room. "Blythe? What are you doing here so early?"

Blythe opened her mouth, but all that came out was a cough, followed by a sneeze – which was blocked by her tissue, which looked like it was soaked with mucus. "I came to tell you I'm sick."

"I'll say," Mrs. Twombly said. "You must have caught what Raoul had back then. Only you look worse than he did."

Blythe sniffled, trying to keep more mucus from running out of her nose. "I feel like that bearcat that was in the other day dragged me through the hedgerow," she moaned.

Mrs. Twombly put her hands on Blythe's shoulders, supporting the girl as she helped her stand up. "You are in no condition to be here today, Blythe. I want you to go upstairs and get to bed right now, young lady."

"But –" Blythe began.

"No buts, Blythe Baxter," Mrs. Twombly barked.

##################################

Vinnie had been trying for the last…he had no idea how long…to get that fly. He'd chased the little annoyance all around the alley, missing him at every turn. Vinnie had slammed into the walls and knocked over more trash cans trying to get the morsel, all to no avail.

His chase had taken him back to the dumpster.

He leaped and lunged at the fly, lashing out at it with his tongue. The fly always managed to stay just out of reach, and all Vinnie accomplished was getting himself covered in more trash.

If that darn fly would just hold still, this wouldn't be a problem. But of course, it had to keep moving, buzzing just out of reach, almost as though it were taunting him. And as a result of the fly's taunting, Vinnie was not only covered in disgusting, smelly garbage, but he was also getting more and more angry by the second.

But he had to get this fly. He had to get it in his stomach so he could go back inside and attend that meeting Penny Ling had told him about. No doubt Russell and the other pets were getting impatient, Russell in particular. That hedgehog didn't like being behind schedule, despite the fact that as pets, the only schedule they really should have been caring about was food time, play time, and nap time.

"Hold still, you little bugger!" he cried as he leaped at the fly again, only to land in an old pizza box. He slipped as he tried to stand up, landing head first in a half-eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the horrible taste getting into his mouth.

And then he felt the dumpster begin to move.

"What the heck?" Vinnie hurried to the edge of the dumpster.

Directly below him, holding onto the dumpster with its front forks, was a garbage truck, filled almost to the top with the trash from the other dumpsters in this neighborhood. Vinnie couldn't even begin to guess what sort of disgusting, smelly atrocities lay in that cesspool of garbage, and he didn't want to know. All he knew was that he had to find a way to escape before –

Too late; he was going over. He tumbled in the cluster of trash, smacked against an empty soda bottle –

And everything went black.

###################################

Downtown City Dump was perhaps the dirtiest, most disgusting place in the entire city. There were mounds of garbage so high that sometimes, the workers mistook them for mountains. The workers were so acclimated to the area, they no longer noticed the horrible stench of the garbage floating up from the piles upon piles of refuse that stretched over several acres, but anyone else who lived near the area, or anyone passing by, would have felt like their noses were being burned off from the horrible stench. Sometimes, the smell could even be tasted, and it was said to taste like a mix of rotten fruit, extra sour lemons, and a mix of other tastes that just could not be described. The only ones willing to call this place home, the only ones willing to touch the slimy garbage without the proper protective gear, were the buzzing flies and scurrying rats.

And judging by the small glimpse of it that Vinnie had gotten as he was dumped out of the truck, that was exactly where he had ended up.

Vinnie removed the old banana peel from his face and took a few seconds to catch his breath; the trip to the dump had been incredibly bumpy, and the fact that he was being crowded by garbage made up of who knew what didn't help much when it came to breathing room. He stood up and climbed over a mound of trash made up of an old tire, half-eaten pizza, and an empty can of tuna fish, to look at the expanse of garbage spread out before him.

Garbage, garbage, garbage as far as his little gecko eyes could see! Garbage forming mountains and pillars, garbage being pulled to an incinerator, garbage being sorted by people in white clothes, hard hats, and thick leather gloves, and among all of that, swarms upon swarms of flies, numbering in the hundreds – if not the thousands.

 _I have died and gone to Fly Heaven,_ he silently mused, a wide grin forming on his scaly face as he took in the sights of all the tasty morsels.

He immediately leaped at the closest swarm. The flies dispersed, causing Vinnie to hit the hood of an old car. The hood snapped open, sending Vinnie flying into a pile of flat tires. He quickly regained himself, turned to the next swarm he saw, and charged.

Again, he missed.

Now he was getting desperate. Taking the tripod of an old camera and a bungee cord, he fashioned himself a slingshot, which he used to launch himself at the flies.

The flies dispersed, causing Vinnie to miss and slam into the closest pillar of garbage. The force of his impact caused the pillar to begin to collapse, trash and refuse raining down upon him and the singular fly buzzing around his head.

"Not good!" He climbed to his feet and tried to run.

The ground was too slick for his gecko pads, causing him to slip and fall on his face.

The fly couldn't let him lie there, waiting to get crushed. Sure, Vinnie had tried to eat him, but he was still a living creature, and what living creature deserved to be sent to the next life by garbage? He let out a loud whistle, signaling the rest of his swarm. The combined strength of the thousands of flies was enough to move Vinnie out of the way as the pillar of trash collapsed to the ground.

"Holy cow, that was a close one," Vinnie breathed when they were safely out of harm's way. He turned to the fly and winked. "Thanks, little bugger. I owe you one for that. And to think, you were going to be my mid-morning snack. Well, we'd better get home, Fly. I don't like this place. It's a bit too dangerous for a gecko." He started walking, but was stopped by the fly grabbing his tail. "What? Home's in that direction?" The fly nodded its little insect head. "If you say so." He started walking, the fly buzzing close to him. "You know, you're like one of those GPS things. Maybe I should name you Garmin. Sound good?"

The fly – now named Garmin – buzzed with excitement.

######################################

There was no way Blythe should have gone through almost ten boxes of tissues in just a couple of hours, and yet here she was, sitting up in her bed, her trash can overflowing with boxes and used tissues. The pets could only watch, slack-jawed, as Blythe tried – and failed – to suppress another sneeze. She winced; that sneeze had hurt the back of her neck and her shoulders.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she grumbled as she opened up another box of tissues and removed one of the thing cloths. "I mean, I do – Raoul gave me his coldmageddon – but I don't know why I can't understand you guys anymore. Would the flu really inhibit that? This makes no sense. You're all different species, so I should be able to understand some of you, right? I mean, Minka's a primate, and so am I, so you'd think I'd understand her, at least, right?" She blew into her tissue, before going into a coughing fit.

The pets could only watch, helpless, as their beloved human friend lurched forward, doubling over, holding a hand over her mouth as she coughed and coughed. Blythe felt like she was about to gag on her own spit. She'd gone into a coughing fit earlier, but it was nowhere near as bad as this one.

She finally stopped coughing and took a moment to catch her breath, before blowing her nose again. "Wait a minute, where's Vinnie?" The pets all shrugged their furry little shoulders. "Okay, that I understand." She coughed again, not quite as bad as she had a moment ago, and put a hand on her forehead, massaging her head as she lay down. "He's probably still at home with his owner." She blew her nose into the tissue again. "I've got to get some rest and kick this cold's butt." She began to lay down, pulling her legs up onto the mattress. "Yeah, that's it. This cold is the reason I'm not hearing you guys." Her voice was getting quieter, her speech more slurred, as her head hit the pillows and her eyes closed.

Russell smacked a paw against his forehead. "I was so concerned about Blythe, that I didn't even notice that Vinnie was still missing!" he chattered. "Has anyone seen him?"

"Not since I saw him by the stinky trash box out back this morning," Penny Ling answered. "He said he was coming right in, but I guess he's still chasing that fly."

A strange noise filled the room, a strange noise coming from Blythe. It sounded like she was growling. That noise was so grating on the pets that it hurt their ears. They couldn't stand to be in the same room as her anymore, not with that strange sound coming out of her.

"When she wakes up," Minka said as they all hurried over to the dumbwaiter, "she's definitely going to a people vet."

"How come?" Pepper asked as they all climbed into the box.

"To get rid of that bear she swallowed," Minka answered.

####################################

The dump was much larger than Vinnie could have ever imagined. He felt like he and Garmin had been walking for hours; his legs were starting to get tired, and he was starting to get hungry. If he hadn't owed Garmin his life, he probably would have eaten the little fly long ago. Then again, not only did he owe the insect for saving him, but he also needed Garmin to show him the way out of the dump and back to Littlest Pet Shop.

Assuming, of course, Garmin was taking him back to LPS.

It was like he was wandering through a desert, or an abandoned city. It was so eerie, not hearing or seeing anything or anyone. He felt so small, so alone despite his fly companion.

Something moved, knocking over an empty soup can.

"What was that?" Vinnie cried. He looked around, but saw nothing but garbage, no one but Garmin. "Stay close, Garmin. We don't know what's –"

He was interrupted by the sound of country music filling his ears; he had stepped on a cassette player. He pressed all the buttons on the player, frantically trying to shut the music off before it was heard by someone with less than friendly intentions.

The music finally stopped. Vinnie breathed a sigh of relief, glad that someone hadn't heard that.

A shadow fell over him. Vinnie felt his already cold blood run even colder as he turned around, spying a rat standing atop another pillar of garbage, a thick black patch over one eye, his front paws crossed, a menacing look on his furred little face.

"Ya ain't from 'round these parts, are ya, ya mook?" he asked, his voice dripping with a thick Manhattan accent and sounded very menacing to Vinnie.

Vinnie was so frightened, so terrified, that he couldn't bring himself to speak. He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a little squeak.

 _Why do you get yourself into these messes, Vincent?_ he silently asked himself.

"Yous was right, Pete," another rat said as more appeared. "Ya did smell tourists."

"And the rest'a ya mooks thought I was tellin' a big ol' fib," the first rat – Pete – said.

"Well, ta be fair," another rat put in, "my allergies ain't exactly agreein' wit' me t'day. Ain't smellin' a darn thing."

"'Round here," Pete said, "that's a good thing." He hopped down from the pillar of garbage. Vinnie back up, tripping over his tail and landing flat on his back, Pete and the other rats towering over him. "Lemme guess," Pete continued. "You and your little bug buddy was hangin' 'round the dumpster when ya got picked up. Am I right?"

"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-well, yeah, but-but-but-but-but how did you kn-kn-kn-know?" Vinnie stuttered.

"Happens all th' time," Pete answered. "Just las' week we had one'a 'em…." He turned to another rat. "Whatcha call 'em thing wit' the long pointy noses? Likes to eat ants?"

"Anteater?"

"Yeah, that's it. Anteater. Name was Sally. Sweet gal. Good singer. She followed some ants here an' got lost, kind'a like you. Me and the boys was sad ta see her go."

"Go?" Vinnie asked. "You mean, you…." He didn't even want to think about what these rats may have done to that poor anteater.

"We what?"

"Are you gonna eat me too?" Vinnie asked, covering his eyes with his pads.

Pete laughed and backed away from Vinnie. "Eat ya? What a dumb mook idea that is! We don't eat no pets 'round here, just trash! And lemme tells ya, the dump ain't no place for a iguana."

"I'm a gecko, actually. Name's Vinnie."

"Pete. And whatever species you is don't matter. I gots ta getcha home."

"R – really?" Vinnie asked as he climbed to his feet.

"Course," Pete replied. "We ain't no savages in the dump. We's a civilized buncha rats."

Vinnie couldn't believe it. This rat was offering to take him home! Well, who was he to look a gift horse – or in this case, a gift rat – in the mouth?

His confidence back, even just a little bit, Vinnie began to follow Pete.

#########################################

There was nothing the pets could do to help Blythe; her sickness was something she had to take care of herself. So while Sunil kept watch at the window, with the trash box in plain view, just in case Vinnie came back – Sunil had volunteered, considering that Vinnie was his best friend.

So while the rest of the pets waited for any sign of Vinnie, Minka had brought out her owner's playing cards, and she, Russell, Pepper, and Zoe were playing a game of Canasta, while Penny Ling chewed on a bamboo stick.

"Poor Blythe," Russell mused as he set down a set of cards. "I wish there was something we could do to actually help her besides waiting for this all to blow over."

Penny Ling swallowed the bite she had been chewing. "I always feel better after filling my tummy with bamboo."

Sunil leaped down from the windowsill and onto his bed, where his toy cobra was waiting. "I never feel any better than when in vicious battle with the deadly snake foe. Maybe we should let a cobra loose in her room?"

"Have you lost your mongoose mind!" Pepper screamed. "One bite from that thing and Blythe will have more to worry about than just whatever it is she's dealing with right now. And as far as I'm aware, they haven't found a cure for death yet. THINK ABOUT IT!"

"Okay, well, what do YOU think Blythe needs?" Sunil asked, throwing his cobra toy aside.

"She just needs to express her scent glands," Pepper answered, brandishing her tail, causing the rest of the pets to recoil. "It works like a charm," she continued, unaware of her foul stench permeating the room. "And it always makes me feel fresh and happy."

"You, maybe," Zoe said, "but not for the rest of us. Let me tell you what Blythe needs: She needs to put on a huge frilly collar and perform a big musical number surrounded by boy dancers! Like Brittney Spears would do."

 _Has she seen that woman lately?_ Pepper silently wondered.

"Let's face it, pets," Russell said. "The only thing we can do is wait for nature to take its course. That cold has to go away by itself." The other pets all groaned in agreement.

"Besides," Pepper added, "we've got another problem on our paws. Vinnie's still missing! Sunil, didn't you see him out the window?" Sunil just shook his head. "Rats."

#################################

Vinnie and Garmin had been following Pete in silence for quite a while. Vinnie was so relieved that this rat was friendly and offering to help him get home that he simply didn't know what to say.

At least until Pete spoke up.

"So, where we headin'?"

"Littlest Pet Shop," Vinnie answered sheepishly.

"Oh yeah, I seen that place 'fore," Pete said as he led Vinnie up a hill of garbage. "Word on th' street's that they take good care'a ya mooks down there."

"Yeah, they do," Vinnie said as he struggled to follow the rat up the hill. "It's a great place. Wouldn't be anywhere else, save my owner's place."

"Yeah? How's 'bout that place next'ta it, Sweet Delights? They gots a dumpster full of treats out back ta die for, y'know?"

They finally crested the hill, allowing Vinnie to get a good view of a part of the city he had never been to before. Everything was drab gray and brown, giving it a bleak feeling. The stacks of the factory in the distance certainly didn't help Vinnie's mood, or the foul smell in the air – the garbage was bad enough, but whatever that factory was spewing out smelled even worse. Some of the buildings had shattered and busted windows, and a few of the buildings looks run down and dilapidated. The only person in sight, as far as Vinnie could tell, was a bearded man pushing a shopping cart – maybe he had just come back from the store?

"Listen up, yous two," Pete said, snapping Vinnie back to reality. "As bad as th' dump might seem, th' inner city's even worse. Tons of scary and dangerous stuff 'round these parts'a town. Stick close'ta me, and whatever yous do, don't stop movin' them feet'a yours. Ready? GO!" Pete hurried across the street.

"Right, don't stop moving."

But instead of going across the street with Pete, Vinnie stayed right where he was, kicking and flexing his legs, eliciting an odd look from Pete and Garmin.

"By movin', I meant forward," Pete said dryly.

"Oh. Right. I knew that."

Vinnie hurried across the street, not too far behind Pete. So far, everything seemed to be going well, no cars or people in sight.

Until he heard the horn of a truck as it came around the corner, causing Vinnie to freeze.

Time seemed to slow down as the truck approached Vinnie. His brain was telling his legs to move, but his legs refused to follow their orders, leaving him glued to the spot as the truck prepared to run him down, prepared to leave him no more than a green and red stain on the asphalt.

Pete grabbed Vinnie and pulled him out of the way. The truck barreled past barely a second later.

They were supposed to be safe, and would have been, had it not been for that bird dive-bombing them, talons out, ready to snatch one of them. Vinnie and Pete ducked down as low as they could, the bird's sharp talons going above them, missing them by less than an inch.

Vinnie and Pete took off running, Garmin flying alongside them, as fast as they could as the bird banked and came at them again. Seconds turned into hours as they ran, trying to get away from the hungry predator.

Pete grabbed Vinnie's foreleg and pulled him to the ground. Their momentum caused them to slide underneath the mailbox they had been running towards, which shook as the bird slammed into it.

The three of them slipped under the gap of a fence, taking a moment to catch their breath now that they were safe in someone's backyard.

Their safe haven quickly turned deadly as an angry Rottweiler loomed over them, teeth bared in a throaty growl.

"Nice puppy," Vinnie gulped, his voice shaking with terror. "Cute puppy, friendly puppy. Please don't eat us."

The dog lunged.

##############################

Blythe felt like she had been sleeping for a week, and yet her cold didn't seem to be going away any time soon. It didn't help that she had been waking up every few moments to sneeze or go into a coughing fit. The tissues were overflowing in her trash bin, all of them soaked and sticky with mucus, some coming from her nose as she sneezed or wiped it away, some coming out of her throat as she coughed it up. Her chest was still tight from all the congestion, and this pounding migraine wasn't helping anything.

Roger had given her a little bell for her to ring if she needed him.

A little bell that she was ringing right now.

"You rang?" Roger asked as he opened the door.

"I think it's time for more of that yucky medicine," Blythe moaned, trying to hold back another sneeze.

"You got it."

"Some orange juice too, please?" Blythe asked before Roger could leave the room. "And some chicken soup too?"

"Sure thing. Anything else?"

"That's it."

"Coming right up."

Blythe rolled over and began to cough. "You know," Roger said, "it hasn't been fun seeing you so miserable with this cold."

"Try having it for a few minutes," Blythe said between coughs. She covered her mouth with a tissue, coughing up some more phlegm. "That's not fun."

"I imagine not." He put a hand on Blythe's forehead. "Well, your fever feels like it's gone down a little bit. Chin up, hon – you'll be back on your feet before you know it."

Blythe certainly hoped so, but for some reason, she wasn't so sure. She rolled back over to try to get a little more sleep while she waited for her father, spotting a picture of her and the pets that had been taken shortly after her first day here, when she had helped save Littlest Pet Shop from closure. Pepper with her little gag shoes, Vinnie striking a dance pose, Zoe looking like, well, a dog, Penny Ling twirling her ribbon, Sunil dressed in his little magician's robes, Minka hanging off of one of Blythe's arms, holding a paintbrush, blue paint dripping down onto Russell, who just looked annoyed and impatient.

Her cold wasn't the only reason she was miserable. Sure, it was part of it, but even worse than that was that she couldn't be with her pet friends down below, and it didn't help that, as far as she knew, Vinnie was still missing.

Where could that little gecko have gone?

################################

Russell had Minka draw up a schematic of the alley outside, complete with the two buildings on either side. A large red X had been marked on the map, showing the location of the trash box.

After checking to make sure everything lined up with how it looked in reality, Russell pinned the map to the wall and was now using a toy cell phone antenna as a pointer.

"Okay, Penny Ling, you say the last time you saw Vinnie, he was outside on top of the dumpster trash right here," Russell said, pointing at the X.

The other pets all looked bored – save for Sunil, who was once again keeping watch at the windowsill. Russell had been asking them the same questions for what felt like forever.

"Yes, Russell," Penny Ling groaned. "For the gazillionth time, that's where he was."

"Odd," Russell mused. "Very odd." He hopped off the little stool he was standing on and walked over to the windowsill, where Sunil was supposed to be keeping watch for Vinnie.

Instead, the mongoose was asleep!

"Alley Watch, repot!" Russell commanded.

Sunil awoke with a scream and quickly turned his attention to the alleyway outside. He saw nothing – no Vinnie, no stray cats, no trash in the trash box. "Surprise surprise," he said dryly. "Vinnie Terio is nowhere to be seen."

This day was seeming to get worse and worse. First Blythe got sick, and now, they still had no way of knowing where Vinnie was, or if he was even okay. Downtown City was a big place for a little gecko, and more importantly, it was more dangerous.

The most they could do, until he came back, was just hope that he was somehow making it on the mean streets.

###############################

It was a miracle that they had escaped that dog. If it hadn't been for Pete leading Vinnie and Garmin away – and that dog getting its chain tangled up on its doghouse – they would have been torn to shreds right there.

At least they were out of the shadier parts of town, but now they had something more to worry about – the heavy traffic and all the people on the sidewalks. Vinnie, Pete, and Garmin had decided to stay on the sidewalks for as long as possible, but that meant having to dodge all the feet to avoid getting trampled flat.

Vinnie's two-chambered heart was pounding in his chest, so hard he felt like it was going to burst right out of his body. Even with all these people threatening to step on him, threatening to turn him into a gecko pancake, he had to stop and catch his breath.

Or he would have, if Pete hadn't started pushing him from behind.

The three of them rounded a corner –

Just in time for Vinnie to get drenched by a faulty fire hydrant. It was fun for the kids across the street, no so for Vinnie, who couldn't breathe with all that water falling on top of him, drenching him, threatening to drown him.

Pete reached into the water geyser and pulled him free, allowing Vinnie to finally breathe.

A strange, coarse substance fell on top of them. Vinnie recognized it as bird seed.

"Incoming!" Pete cried as robins and pigeons descended upon them. Some of the birds were eating at the seeds, all but two – one that was pecking at Vinnie's head, another that was pulling at Pete's whiskers.

"Stop it!" Pete yelled. "Stop it! Quit pulling at my face! My beautiful rat face!" He crawled out from under the pile of seed and began chattering at the birds while kicking at them. "I'll kick you with my short little legs!" The birds all flew off, giving Pete the chance to pull Vinnie out.

A second later, they were running again, ignoring the birds returning to their afternoon snack and the feet of the people on the street.

Vinnie felt drained, his little lungs burning, crying for oxygen.

Good thing Littlest Pet Shop was directly across the street.

"There you are, Vinnie and Garmin," Pete said. "Home at last."

"Wow," Vinnie breathed. "Look, Pete, I can't begin to –"

Vinnie was stopped by the hand of a little girl picking him up off the ground.

"Mommy! Mommy! I found a baby alligator!"

"That's nice, Alice," the girl's mother said, clearly not paying attention.

 _Nice?_ Pete thought, smacking a paw against his face. _I gots another word for ya, runt, and "nice" ain't it._

"Pete! Gamin! Help!" Vinnie cried as Alice carried him into her house.

###############################

This room was a nightmare. Dolls and Furbies lined the walls, their blank, lifeless eyes staring at Vinnie, who had been dressed up to look like one of them – Alice had put him into a pink frilly dress with a pointy princess hat, before stuffing him into an empty glass fish bowl, blocking the top with a book to keep him from getting out. Normally, Vinnie would have been scared out of his little gecko mind, had he not been so drained and upset about the whole day.

 _Way to go, Vinnie_ , he silently scolded himself. _Penny Ling tells you to come in, but do you listen? No, you follow your stomach, and look where it's gotten you. Hauled off to the dump, and now stuck in some nightmare room with a kid who decided to rename you Princess Precious._

Just then, the door opened, and in walked Alice, holding yet another doll.

"Your doll baby was crying."

Vinnie winced as the little girl ran over to the table his little glass prison was on. The book was removed, and he was pulled out, dropped unceremoniously onto the table. "You need to hold her and kiss her and tell her you love her." Vinnie backed away, wanting nothing to do with the little devil. "NOW!"

Vinnie felt the wind knocked out of him as Alice dropped the doll on top of him. He struggled to crawl out from underneath the lifeless toy, and turned to look at Alice, wishing he were a much bigger lizard, like a goana or Komodo dragon. Then he would show her.

But for now, all he could do was recoil as she yelled: "GIVE THE BABY A KISS!"

He had no choice but to play along, and planted a fake kiss on the doll's forehead.

"That's nice," Alice said as she procured a baby bottle filled with white liquid – milk. "Baby needs a bottle!"

Vinnie had hoped that she was talking about the doll. But instead, he was being force-fed the milk. "That's how you feed a baby," Alice said as she held the baby bottle in Vinnie's mouth.

There was no way he could swallow the white liquid. After all, milk was downright toxic to a lizard. If he actually drank it, he'd end up in a worse shape than he and the other pets had when they got locked in the kitchen at Sweet Delights. At least they had just gotten away from that with a stomach ache; it could have been much worse. If he were to actually ingest the cow juice, there was a good chance that his next trip would be to a vet, or worse.

So he just held the milk in his mouth, resulting in the white liquid oozing out of the corners of his mouth until he was standing in a puddle of the stuff.

"Silly baby alligator," Alice cooed.

"I'm a gecko, darn it!" Vinnie cried, though to Alice, all she heard was a burping gecko.

Alice laughed. "You love your mommy, don't you, Princess Precious?"

Vinnie's fear was slowly being replaced by anger and hatred for this little brat.

Alice backed away towards the door. "You stay here and be a good baby alligator. I'm gonna go change for our party."

Vinnie couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief as the little devil left the room. "This day's going to be the end of me."

A familiar buzzing sound filled his ear as Garmin descended from the roof, a line of string tied around his thorax. Vinnie followed the string to the ceiling fan; Pete was up there, standing on one of the fan blades, holding the string in his paws.

"Grab the string, Vinnie," Pete called down to him. "'Fore that little brat comes back."

Vinnie grabbed the string. He only weighed less than a pound, but to Pete, that was still a little heavy for him. Still, the rat pulled as hard as he could, lifting Vinnie up from the table.

Vinnie was almost pulled to safety when the door opened. Alice had returned, now dressed as a princess and carrying a big bowl of macaroni and cheese.

"I got the party food, Princess Precious." She spotted Vinnie, hanging by a literal thread just a few feet off the table, just out of Alice's reach. "That's a naught Princess Precious. Naughty ugly mouse!"

"Hey!" Pete yelled. "Who're ya callin' a mouse, ya runt?"

Alice flipped a switch on the wall, turning on the fan. The three animals began to spin, faster and faster, the room spinning just as fast. Vertigo was starting to set in as Pete tried to hold onto the fan blade with his claws, which were starting to slip. His claws dug into the vinyl blade, leaving scratch marks.

Vinnie was beginning to lose his grip on Garmin, and a second later, all three of them had been thrown from the fan, thrown out the window. The only thing saving them was the string getting tied around a vacant flag pole.

The three of them hung there, just trying to catch their breath and let their hearts stop pounding in their chests.

"All in favor'a never doin' that again, say 'aye'."

"Aye," Vinnie said, Garmin buzzing his response.

###################################

Blythe was amazed at how quickly that medicine seemed to work. She was still a little congested in her chest, and her nose was still slightly stuffed, but she was no longer coughing up her lungs, and the last time she looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes were no longer bloodshot, and her throat felt nowhere near as sore as it had just a few hours ago. That medicine, plus her rest, seemed to have done the job.

And now she was wide awake, no longer feeling like she wanted to just sleep all day, _The Fellowship of the Ring_ open to the page where she had left off.

"Looks like you're doing a lot better," Roger said as he opened the door to check on her.

"I'm not back to a hundred percent just yet, Dad, but yes, I do feel so much better than I had this morning."

Roger put a hand on her forehead. "No fever, either. But just to be safe, maybe one more dose of medicine."

Blythe couldn't help but recoil at the sight of the green medicinal liquid. "Do I have to? It tastes like moldy socks."

Roger raised the bottle to read the ingredients label. "I don't see moldy socks listed as an ingredient, just natural medicinal herbs imported from Japan," he said. "But get a load of some of these side effects: 'May impair ability to juggle, knit sweaters, properly polish silver, rebuild car engines, wax surfboards, ride a unicycle, and talk to animals'."

Blythe sat up straight as Roger read that last side effect out loud. "What did you just say?"

"Weird, I know," Roger said. "Who in their right mind rides a unicycle? Now that I think about it, maybe you'd better just get some rest and drink plenty of water."

Blythe breathed a sigh of relief as she lay back down. "Dad, you have no idea how happy that makes me."

"I thought I did. I guess was wrong." He shut the door, leaving Blythe alone to finish getting over her sickness.

 _To think, I thought it was my cold that made me not hear what the pets were saying,_ she thought happily. _But it was that icky medicine! I'll have to let the pets know that once I get back on my feet._

 _################################_

The pets were surprised to see Blythe come out of the dumbwaiter, looking so much better than she had this morning.

"Hey you guys. I just found out that the reason I couldn't understand you was because of that weird medicine I was taking for my cold. Crazy, huh?"

The pets' jaws dropped. They hadn't expected to hear that today. How could a human medicine make Blythe not hear what they were saying? It just seemed so…odd.

"So, say something," Blythe pressed.

"Guess who's back!" Vinnie called as he stepped through the little pet door.

Blythe's inability to talk to the pets thanks to that medicine may have seemed odd, but nothing could be more odd than the strange, pink outfit Vinnie was wearing.

Despite how odd the outfit may have been, the pets were so happy to see him that they crowded him, hugging him tightly.

"Vinnie, just one question," Pepper said. "What are you wearing?"

"From now on," Vinnie answered with a little curtsey, " you shall refer to me as Princess Precious." The other pets all shook their head. Vinnie just shrugged his shoulders. "Eh, worth a shot."

Blythe picked him up and held him close. "I missed you, Vinnie," she said. "I missed being able to talk to all of you."

"Wait, did I miss something?" Vinnie asked.

The other pets didn't answer; they were too busy laughing.

################################

Pete and Garmin watched through the window. They were glad that Vinnie had made it home, despite all the hardships they had faced in the city.

It was lucky that Pete had found Vinnie and Garmin in the dump. Otherwise, the two of them would have been lost, possibly forever, and their friends would have been incredibly upset. It did a rat's heart good to help someone in need.

"Look at that mook, back wit' all his little buddies," Pete said. "Good work, Garmin. Yous is a great fly. Hey, what say we crack open that sweet shop dumpster and live a little."

Garmin buzzed his approval.


	19. Bakers and Fakers

BAKERS AND FAKERS

MRS. MONDT HAD BEEN ARGUING WITH WHITTANY AND BRITTANY FOR THE last five minutes about a particular mathematical term. Blythe could tell that the math teacher was getting more and more frustrated; not that she could blame Mrs. Mondt, of course, since the twins had a habit of getting under everyone's skin.

 _Though for once,_ she thought, _I'm glad it's not me who's arguing with them._

Mrs. Mondt let out a frustrated growl. "For the last time, Whittany and Brittany, binomials have nothing to do with actually buying things."

"Then maybe they shouldn't have 'buy' in their name," Whittany said.

"Yeah," Brittany agreed. "It's, like, a total fake-out. Mega unfair."

Mrs. Mondt rolled her eyes. "We can talk about the fairness of math another day."

She was interrupted by the door to the classroom opening. Blythe could hear someone laughing and giggling on the other side. The door opened fully as two people – both about Mrs. Mondt's age; a blonde woman in a light blue dress and a balding man in a beige suit with a full beard – stepped into the room. They were so busy laughing and giggling that their heads bumped into each other as they stepped into the room at the same time.

"Miss Abster, Mr. Barish, what can I do for you?" Mrs. Mondt asked, slightly annoyed. Her argument with the twins didn't help much in that matter.

"Well," both Miss Abster and Mr. Barish said at the same time. "We're here for –"

Mrs. Mondt rolled her eyes as the two of them began talking over each other, each offering the other the chance to speak first.

It was no secret that these two had been going steady for a while now, since Miss Abster was a widow and Mr. Barish had been divorced for years. Few people poked fun at them for their relationship; it was the fact that they were constantly acting like a couple of little kids on a sugar rush that annoyed people, and Blythe would be lying to herself if she told herself that she didn't agree with that sentiment.

"By all means, Miss Abster," Mr. Barish said after a moment of childish giggling.

"If you insist." Miss Abster stepped forward, addressing the entire class. "We're here to promote a joint effort between the Home Ec department and the History department," she said.

Mr. Barish joined her. "The Ultimate, Outrageous Cake Competition. That's what we're calling it."

Blythe glanced at Youngmee, who was beaming with excitement. She couldn't for the life of her figure out why; their last baking experience resulted in them ruining the Biskit Twins' quarter birthday party after Blythe lost her new necklace in the cupcake batter. It had been nearly a month since then, and Blythe wasn't sure that she wanted to spend three days cleaning batter out of her hair again.

Youngmee, on the other hand, was still beaming with excitement. "A cake competition?"

"Student will battle to build the best historical cake," Mr. Barish continued.

"How about two teachers being uber whack and mega goofy," Brittany scoffed. "That's hysterical."

"He said 'historical'," Blythe corrected her.

Youngmee raised her hand. "Is there a prize?"

"There sure is," Mr. Barish answered.

"All proceeds will go to benefit St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital, and the winning team will get extra credit in both Home Ec and History," Miss Abster added. "That extra credit will lift them up by half a grade."

Whittany and Brittany, who had been playing on their phones as she said that, suddenly perked up. It was well known throughout the school that they had some of the lowest grades of any student, and they were only making their way through the grades because of their father's money. Ironically, their father was trying to make them go through school honestly and actually work for their grades.

Another factor for their low grades was that they were always on their phones, sometimes texting themselves even though they sat right next to each other. It had landed them in detention at least twice so far, though the twins didn't count the time Blythe took their place after that Mathletes fiasco.

"Half a grade?" Whittany repeated. "Brittany, that would give us a full grade total."

Blythe rolled her eyes. _That's not how it works,_ she silently moaned.

############################

"You guys need to be on my team," Youngmee said as they met at Blythe's locker; Blythe was putting her books away for the day, Jasper had his hands in his pockets, and Sue was twirling a tennis racket. "With all the stuff in my Aunt Chrissie's shop, there's no way we can lose."

"You had me at 'be on my team'," Blythe said.

"I don't know if I can work that into my schedule," Sue admitted. "I mean, between mixed martial arts and badminton practice, I don't know if I can make it."

"And time away from _Overwatch_ for me," Jasper added. "Besides, I'm not doing half bad in those classes."

"You could be doing all good," Youngmee scolded him. "When there's a chance for you to do great, you need to take that chance. Just like when Albert Einstein became great when he discovered that theory about his relatives, or when Christopher Columbus became great when he discovered Columbus, Ohio."

"I don't think that's quite how it happened, Youngmee," Blythe chimed in.

Youngmee continued, ignoring her friend. "We can be great if we win this cake competition, which will be much more satisfying than winning a few rounds at a video game. Are you guys with me?" She pumped her fist and started chanting. "Cake! Cake! Cake!"

Blythe and Sue joined her. "Cake! Cake! Cake!"

Jasper shrugged. _Might as well get in on the act,_ he thought, and he joined his three friends as they started marching down the hall, chanting "Cake! Cake! Cake!" the entire time –

And going right past the Biskit Twins.

"Should we even do this stupid cake thing, Whitany?" Brittany asked her twin sister. "I mean, it's not like we'll be the ones getting any money out of the thing."

"I know; I can't decide either," Whittany said. "Wait." She pulled a stick of lipstick out of her pocket and removed the cap. "Let's make a list." She used the lipstick as a pen to write on a nearby locker. "One list is for reasons we should do it, which we'll call the 'Yay' list, and the other is for the reasons why we shouldn't, which we'll call the 'No Thanks' list."

"Okay, well, if we win, our grades go up and Daddy buys us stuff," Brittany said.

"That's a Yay." Whittany drew a check mark on the little chart she'd drawn on the locker. "But we have to make the cake. That's a major No Thanks." She added another check mark.

"Yeah, that sounds like work, and work is for, like, the help. But that's one 'Yay' and one 'No Thanks.' How do we break the tie?"

Whittany was about to say something when Blythe and her friends went running past. "Went the wrong way; exit's this way!" Blythe called as she hurried past.

"One more 'Yay' to break the tie," Brittany said. "We can't let those dorks win."

"You are so right, Brit," her twin sister complimented her. "And I just thought of a way to do that without having to actually do anything."

"I'm listening."

###################################

Buttercream Sundae was hopping all over the place like the happy little bunny she was. Her hopping took her right between the legs of Youngmee and her friends as they stood in the center of the sale floor, talking amongst themselves. She hopped around them, trying to get their attention so they would play with her.

Youngmee picked the hyper little bunny up and set her down a little ways off. "Excuse us, Buttercream." She patted Buttercream on the head and watched as she hopped away.

"Did you guys hear that the Biskits have entered the cake competition?" Sue asked as Youngmee joined back up with them.

"You're kidding, right?" Jasper asked in disbelief.

"I'm kidding, wrong," Sue answered.

"Great," Jasper grumbled. "Next thing you know, they'll be attending pep rallies."

Blythe couldn't help herself; she started giggling. "Yeah, I can see that now. 'Go, fight, win, or, like, whatever'."

"Okay, let's focus," Youngmee said after they all shared a moment of laughter at Blythe's jab at the twins. "We need to come up with a great cake design that also has some historical significance."

"I know!" Sue spoke up. "How about a cake celebrating Gertrude Ederle."

"Who?" Blythe asked.

"The first woman to swim the English Channel, all the way back in 1926," Sue replied.

"Okay, Sue?" Jasper asked. "First, not many people are going to get that. Second, we're making cake, not soup." Sue just glared at him. "How about this – the Battle of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, from July 1 to July 3, 1863? The bloodiest battle of the American Civil War. Because of that, the town itself is said to be one of the most haunted places in America, if not the world."

Blythe bent down to pet Buttercream, who had hopped back into their little circle. "Right, Jasper, because when you think of the Civil War – brother against brother, friend against friend, father against son – you think of delicious, sugary cake."

"Well, when you put it that way, it sounds like a pretty dumb idea."

"Don't get me wrong, it sounds good as an idea, but the execution would leave a lot to be desired, I'm sure."

"It needs to be an idea that honors the spirit of the competition," Youngmee put in. "And since we're building a cake, maybe the cake should BE a building. One that has some major historical importance."

"How about one of the Seven Wonders of the World?" Blythe suggested.

"The Taj Mahal!" Youngmee shouted. "That's a great idea!"

"But it's not a Wonder of the World," Jasper corrected them.

"Technically, it is," Blythe corrected him. "It was inducted into the Seven Wonders of the New World in 2007, therefore making it one of the Seven Wonders of the World by technicality."

"Okay, now to assign jobs," Youngmee said. "Sue, you're in charge of doing the research on the building and why it's historically important."

"Yes ma'am!" Sue cried with a crisp salute.

"Jasper, you make the ingredients."

"Will do," Jasper said with a thumbs up.

"Blythe, can you get us some pictures of the Taj Mahal for reference?" Youngmee asked.

"Can do, Chef Youngmee."

"Then let's stop standing around here and get to work!" Youngmee commanded. "Cake! Cake! Cake!"

##################################

Buttercream scampered through the hole connecting the kitchen of Sweet Delights with the Day Camp over at Littlest Pet Shop. "Hidey Ho, pets!" she cried as Zoe, Sunil, Russell, and Vinnie joined her. "Anyone want to play a game?"

"I'll give it a go," Zoe volunteered. "Just as soon as I learn what we're playing."

"A little diddly-do that I call Butterscotch," Buttercream answered.

"Oh yeah, I know that one," Vinnie said as he climbed down from the fake tree in the corner. "Actually, wait, no I don't. What the heck is Butterscotch?"

"It's like Hopscotch," Buttercream replied, "but also not like it at all."

Zoe and Sunil shared a confused look; this bunny could make absolutely no sense sometimes.

Vinnie balanced himself on one leg and started hopping. "Am I doing it right?" he asked.

"Yes," Buttercream answered. "Actually, no. More like this." She balanced herself on one paw and started hopping, only she was moving backwards, away from Vinnie.

"Okay, I think I can do that," Vinnie said, following Buttercream's lead.

"And Zoe wins!" Buttercream announced.

"Wait, what?" Vinnie asked.

"Of course I win," Zoe proudly proclaimed. Her pride quickly gave way to confusion as she looked back up at Sunil, who was still standing on the armchair. "Do you know what just happened?" Sunil just shrugged his little mongoose shoulders.

"Buttercream, are you making these rules up as you go along?" Russell asked her.

"Wowzy-zowzy, Russell, how'd you become the smarty-smarty of the party?" Buttercream asked.

"What?" Russell asked, confused.

"I don't know," Buttercream answered with a shrug of her little bunny shoulders. "Anyhoo, it's all right here in my noodle-doodle," she said, pointing to her head with a paw.

"I'll take your word for it," Russell said, not bothering to try to figure her out; trying to figure out what Buttercream was thinking was an incredibly difficult task, one that had caused his brain to hurt more than once. "Buttercream, have you seen Blythe by any chance? She's usually in the shop by now."

"Certainly so, Rusty Bro," Buttercream answered. She started hopping around the room, the other pets quickly joining her. "She was just in Sweet Delights, having a chattery-chat with her pals and coming up with a plan."

"A plan about what?" Russell asked.

"I don't really know," Buttercream answered. "She said something about how hysterical people will get when cake fills a hall and people in seven worlds will wonder what's going on."

Vinnie stopped hopping. _Did she just say something about cake filling the halls?_ he silently asked himself, before yelling: "Cake's taking over the world?!" He couldn't help but let his mind wander, imagining what that would be like. Cake and other sugary treats were already deadly to a gecko – and many of the other pets, as their stomachs were unable to process the sugar the way a human could – but the idea of cake filling the halls? It sounded absurd, sure, but at the same time, it sounded horrifying. All that sugar, the icing, the toppings, and if the cake filled the halls, then there would be no room for anyone else to even more!

 _I'm not going to stand here while cake tries to take over the world._

"Then again, I could have gotten everything discombobulated," Buttercream admitted. "I was Butterscotching at the time and wasn't really paying attention."

Vinnie remained where he was while Buttercream led Sunil and Zoe out of Day Camp and onto the shop floor, hopping and bouncing the whole way. What Buttercream had said a few moments ago had already gotten stuck in his head; he was already convinced that cake was going to attempt to take over the world.

Then again, this was probably the result of him watching too many horror movies with his owner, but he wasn't willing to take that chance.

"Sunil, look out!"

Buttercream's sudden cry caused Sunil to stop where he was on the floor. "What? What is it? Is there a spider? A cobra?"

"Be careful where you'll step or you'll sneagle the beagle!" Buttercream yelled.

"What?" Sunil and Zoe asked at the same time. This game sounded fun, but at the same time, this was Buttercream Sundae they were talking about – the bunny who wasn't all there in the head.

Their game was interrupted by Blythe hurrying through the door and opening her computer, which was sitting on the shop counter – she'd left it there this morning before going to school. She said nothing to the pets, just kept muttering "Cake! Cake! Cake!" over and over again.

Vinnie had joined them by this point, just in time to hear Blythe muttering the word "Cake" to herself. His already wide gecko eyes got wider when he heard that word coming from her mouth.

It was a sign. Cake really was taking over the world, and it had already gotten to his best human friend.

"Blythe, what on this green Earth are you doing?" Zoe asked her.

"Cake," Blythe answered. "Taj Mahal. Pictures. Build. Huge." She printed out a picture of a wide building topped with several round and pointed objects set in front of a rectangular pool. She ran out the door with the picture, still muttering "Cake! Cake! Cake!"

"It's happening," Vinnie said, his voice trembling with fear.

##############################

The twins stood in the kitchen of their nearly 400,000 square foot mansion, the cake ingredients set out on the counter for them.

"If we're going to win this cake competition," Whittany said to Brittany, "then our cake should be chocolate. Everyone loves chocolate."

"With some vanilla."

"French Vanilla, of course."

"Is there any better kind?"

"And it's got to have red borsht berry filling."

Brittany turned to the butler, who was dressed in his chef's outfit and quickly jotting down notes as fast as he could, trying to keep up with the twins. Francois LeGrande didn't exactly care for this type of behavior, especially from these two, but they were technically his employers – even though their father was the one who had given him the job – so it wasn't his place to argue or disagree with them.

Of course, that didn't mean that he didn't say anything on the inside.

 _These two really have no idea what they're doing, do they?_ he silently asked as he jotted down some more notes.

"We'll leave you to it and check in when the cake's done," Brittany said as the twins left the counter, heading for the stairs that would lead to their room –

Only to be met by their father.

"Girls," he said sternly.

"Hi Daddy."

"You know, I couldn't help but hear your little plan," Fisher Biskit said. "You're not going to win any prize by taking the easy way out and having other people do your work for you. If you want to win, you're going to have to do it yourselves."

"But Daddy, that takes, like, hard work," Whittany whined.

"How do you think I got where I am today?" Fisher asked his daughters. "By working hard and using my head; to put it another way, by being smarter than the smarties and tougher than the toughies. And believe me when I tell you this – a little bit of common sense goes a long way. Try it, and whether you succeed or not, you may feel a little pride in yourselves, knowing you gave it your all. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to get to. Francois, I'll need a ride."

"Right away, Master Fisher," Francois said, and with that, the two older men left the twins in the kitchen.

"Brittany, I think Daddy's talk is getting to me, because I'm having, like, a brain thingy," Whittany said. "We might not be able to win that competition, but we can make sure that the other teams don't either. Especially Blythe's team. No way those dorks can have a cake better than ours."

################################

It had taken nearly three hours to get everything set up. Youngmee was once again going over her list to make sure everything was in order; if even one tiny thing was out of place, or if they were missing even one ingredient, then the cake would be a disaster and they wouldn't win. She also wanted to make sure that Blythe didn't lose her necklace in the batter this time, so she asked her friend to either tuck it into her shirt or put it in her pocket.

"Youngmee, relax," Blythe told her. "My necklace is safe, and we've got everything we need. Unless you want to throw in the kitchen sink for good measure."

"Do you think we'll need it?" Youngmee asked.

 _Probably shouldn't have said that,_ Blythe thought as she carried a box of kitchen utensils to a stack in the corner. She nearly tripped over Buttercream – she didn't see the little bunny hopping at her feet – but managed to catch herself. She scooped the little bunny up in her arms and gave her a quick pat on the head, before setting her down. "Go hop that way, Buttercream. That way you won't get hurt."

"Okey dokey lokey," Buttercream said, though only Blythe could hear her.

The door opened, and two mustached people wearing trenchcoats and fedoras entered the building. They immediately caught the attention of Blythe and her friends. There was something phony, something fake, about those outfits. Nobody really dressed like that – at least, not in this day and age.

And then it hit them.

These two had to be Whittany and Brittany Biskit.

"Hello," Whittany said, trying to deepen her voice to sound like a man. "We're reporters from the city paper."

 _Did these two really think this was going to work?_ Blythe thought. She turned to her friends. "Play along," she whispered.

"We understand you're participating in the Ultimate Outrageous Cake Competition at Downtown City High," Whittany continued.

"Yeah, and we, like, want to report on it," Brittany added, taking the time to fix her fake mustache and struggling to keep her voice deepened.

"Sure you do," Sue said dryly.

"We have reporter questions," Whittany said, ignoring the deadpan tone of Sue's voice.

"We do?" Brittany asked. She coughed; her façade had nearly been lost. "I mean, yes. Yes, we do." She pulled a roll of paper out of her pocket and unfolded it.

"First question," Whittany said. "What ingredients are you planning to use?"

"Yeah, and exactly how much of each one?" Brittany added.

"How long are you going to bake your cake and what do you use to bake it?"

"Wow, your readers really want to know the basics of making a cake, don't they?" Blythe asked flatly. "Here's an idea: Go watch that show _Cake Boss._ "

"And I think they may have done an episode of cakes on _Epic Meal Time_ ," Jasper chimed in.

"Look, Mr. and Mr. Reporter," Youngmee said, "we're a little busy right now, but if you come to the cake competition, we'll be happy to discuss what we did after the prizes are awarded. And besides, maybe you could do a piece on what this competition is going to benefit. You know, those sick kids?"

"But that'll be after our –" Whittany started to yell, her voice returning to its normal pitch. She quickly caught herself. "But that'll be after our due time."

"You mean your deadline?" Sue corrected them.

"That's not what us newspaperists –" Brittany said.

"Journalists," Jasper interrupted.

"Call it," Brittany finished, ignoring Jasper. "But whatever."

"Whatever is right," Blythe said. "Back to work, you guys."

The four of them scattered, getting back to what they were doing – preparing to make the cake – as the twins turned for the door. Whittany stopped when she noticed something on the table nearby – a stack of index cards labeled "Taj Mahal Cake Ingredients and Instructions". After looking around, making sure no one else but Brittany saw them, she took the cards and stuffed them into her pocket.

They never noticed Buttercream Sundae, watching them from under the table.

"Jeepers sneepers, those bakers are fakers!" she cried. "Blythe!" Blythe was struggling to carry a large bag of flour on her shoulder. "Blythe! This is superity-duperity important! Hello! Bunnygram! Bunny to person, yoohoo!" Blythe continued to ignore her as she carried the hefty bag to the door.

"Okay, team, that's everything," Youngmee said. "To the competition!" The four of them marched outside with their supplies, climbing into the back of the Sweet Truck, chanting "Cake! Cake! Cake!"

 _Gotta tattle to someone,_ Buttercream thought as she hopped to the hole connecting the two stores. Russell was sitting on the chair, reading a comic book, while Zoe and Vinnie were chasing each other, playing a game of Tag – Sunil had been picked up by his owner some time ago. "Emergency urgency! A major disaster's about to hapter!"

"In my Buttercream-To-Russell dictionary, I think that means that there's a problem," Russell said. He dropped his comic book and hopped down to the floor, joining the other pets. "What's the emergency, Buttercream?"

"Twinsy boys who were really twinsy girls swiped Blythe's cake papers and they left before I could tell them," Buttercream answered.

"Twin boys who were really twin girls?" Zoe asked. "Are you sure you're not seeing things again? The last time that happened you said you saw Bigfoot getting into a wrestling match with Godzilla."

"That happened and I missed it?" Vinnie yelled. "Why do I always miss the good stuff?"

"These eyes saw everything in perfectly clear Buttercream vision," Buttercream told the dog.

The sound of Blythe's father's voice came from the shop floor. "Cake! Cake! Cake!" The pets hurried to the shop floor, where Roger Baxter was talking with Mrs. Twombly.

"Well, Mrs. Twombly, I'm off to Blythe's school to watch that cake competition," she said. "Catch you later. Cake! Cake! Cake!" He continued to chant, even as he exited the building.

"Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to go to the competition to confirm that what Buttercream says she saw was true," Russell said.

"Well, we'd better get our paws moving if we want to hitch a ride in Mr. Baxter's car," Zoe said.

"Okay, but be warned, he drives like a madman," Russell cautioned. "I speak from experience."

The three of them hurried through the little pet door leading to the sidewalk outside.

"Wait for me!" Vinnie cried, hurrying to catch up to them, now wearing one of Pepper's cowboy hats and scarfs. "I'm coming along to make sure that that cake doesn't get out of line, you know what I'm saying?" The other three pets just stared at him, confused. "Never mind; let's just go."

###################################

"Thank you so much for coming, everyone," Miss Abster said into the microphone so she could be heard in the large auditorium. "The Ultimate Outrageous Cake Competition will begin shortly. Remember, these students are competing to earn extra credit for both Home Ec and History, and all proceeds go to benefit St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital."

There were four teams in total, consisting of two to four people. The Biskit Twins were on their phones, again; two of the jocks were tossing a football back and forth while the third member of their team went over their checklist again; the Goth Kids – at least, that was what everyone called them – looked bored and ready to get this over with; and Blythe and her friends were finishing setting up all their utensils.

"The mixer is good to go," Youngmee announced. "Blythe, do you have the recipe and design cards?"

"I thought Jasper had them," Blythe said.

"I don't," Jasper said. "I was under the impression Sue had them."

"I hadn't seen them since you finished putting them together, Jasper," Sue said. "I could have sworn Youngmee had them. And let me guess – you don't have them?" Youngmee just shook her head. "This isn't good."

"We've got to find them!" Youngmee yelled.

They searched everywhere they could around their table – under the utensils, in the boxes, under the table, under their feet, in their pockets, Jasper even checked the oven. But there was no sign of the index cards that the recipe had been written on.

####################################

Roger hurried into the auditorium, hoping he wasn't too late. He wanted to see the contest from start to finish, so he had put the pedal to the floor, speeding his way through the town with Metallica blaring on the radio.

As he hurried into the high school, he couldn't stop himself from chanting "Cake! Cake! Cake!" over and over again; his daughter and her friends had gotten to him, and he had been doing that for a while now.

He found an empty seat next to a tall, well-groomed man in a brown suit. "Hey Blythe!" he called up to the stage. "What's cooking?" He noticed the other man just staring at him. "I guess she is," Roger said. "Cooking, I mean."

The other man just rolled his eyes. "And my daughters say my jokes are bad."

"Your daughters?" Roger repeated.

The other man pointed to the two girls in matching outfits. "Over there. Whittany and Brittany."

"Oh yeah, those were the girls Blythe met on our first day in town," Roger said, remembering who they were now.

"I assume you're talking about Blythe Baxter," the other man guessed.

"Yeah, I'm her dad." He held out his hand. "Roger Baxter."

"Fisher Biskit," the other man said as he shook Roger's hand. "I've met Blythe once or twice. She's a nice young lady."

"Yeah, she's a good kid."

###################################

The four pets hurried under the seats, trying to stay out of sight, as they made their way up to the stage. Buttercream led the way, with Russell and Zoe right behind her, and Vinnie bringing up the rear; besides the fact that he was still reeling from Mr. Baxter's crazy driving – Russell wasn't joking about that part – he was still on the lookout for his so-called "killer cake".

"Those are the girl-boys!" Buttercream cried, pointing to the two girls at the far end of the stage with a paw. Russell and Zoe immediately recognized them as the Biskit Twins. "They swippity-swiped the cards!"

"Should have known it was those two," Russell chattered angrily. "Let's go."

"All right, cake," Vinnie said as he brought up the rear. "I'm watching you. Let's do this thing!" He followed the other three pets to the stage.

############################

Blythe did her best to ignore the childish giggling of Miss Abster and Mr. Barish as she hurried over to the podium where the two of them were standing. She and her friends had had no luck in finding their recipe cards; chances were that they had left them back at Sweet Delights, but they had no time to go back and look, as the competition was going to begin in less than thirty seconds' time.

"Miss Abster? Mr. Barish? I was wondering if we could maybe have a few more minutes before we start?" she asked. "My team seems to have run into a bit of a problem in that we lost our recipe cards and we can't make our cake without them."

"Bummer," Mr. Barish said. "Making a cake without the recipe is hard. I wish we could acquiesce to your request, Blythe, but the rules are very specific about start times. So…." He spoke into the microphone. "Let the competition begin!"

Blythe's stomach tightened into even more knots than it was already in. How were they supposed to make a Taj Mahal cake without the design and the recipe? She barely even remembered what the thing looked like; how was she expected to remember what went into the cake? She didn't know how many eggs, or how much sugar, or how long it had to stay in the oven! Without those recipe cards, they might as well not even have been in the contest at all!

##############################

The pets stayed huddled in the corner, out of sight of any wandering eyes, and watched as the twins prepared their recipe. Or rather, watched as Brittany prepared the recipe while Whittany read off of the index cards.

"Time to put the 'pet' in this competition," Buttercream said softly, and she hopped towards the twins.

"Buttercream, get back here!" Russell cried.

"If you see any suspicious looking cake, give me a yell," Vinnie called after her.

"Okay, seriously, when we get back to Day Camp, you and I are gonna have a little talk," Zoe told him. "This killer cake thing is getting out of paw."

Buttercream crawled under one of the tables, sneaking past one of the humans in a red and gold jacket, and hopped over to the table next to it, the table occupied by the humans with black hair, nearly getting trampled in the process. She hid under the table, just in time to hear Blythe's voice.

"Excuse me, guys, have you seen our recipe cards? They were written on 3x5 index cards, like this one?"

"No."

She watched Blythe go to the next table, the one with the humans in the red jackets. "Excuse me, guys? Have you seen our recipe cards?" The other humans just shook their heads. "Thanks anyway." She hurried over to the twins' table. "Whittany, Brittany, have you seen –"

"Sorry, Blythe, we're a little busy right now," Whittany said.

"But we'll be happy to discuss what we did after the prizes have been handed out," Brittany added.

Blythe could only growl in frustration; she balled her fists and flared her nostrils. She wanted to punch them, oh so badly, but she wasn't a violent person, and even if she was, she didn't want to start a scene up here in front of her dad and everyone else in the audience. So with her shoulders tight and her heart pounding with rage and fury, she stomped back to her table.

#############################

Russell, Zoe, and Vinnie watched from their hiding place as Buttercream hopped back and forth along the stage, following Blythe and nearly getting trampled by the other humans. Sooner or later someone was bound to spot her.

"We've got to distract everyone from seeing Buttercream," Russell said.

"I've got an idea," Zoe announced as she spotted a ladder nearby.

"What kind of an idea?" Russell asked.

"A good one."

"They always seem like good ideas, until they turn into bad ideas," Russell huffed as he and Vinnie followed her to the ladder.

################################

Buttercream hurried under the twins' table. She saw Whittany holding the cards and reading off of them; she could have grabbed them and taken them back to Blythe, but she didn't want to be seen. So she huddled under the table, between a bag of flour and a jar of icing, making herself even smaller than she already was so she wouldn't be spotted.

"Brittany, do we have something called….I don't know this word. Fleur? Oh, wait, no, it's flour. Jasper's handwriting is, like, a total mess."

"I think there's some under the table," Brittany answered.

Buttercream dove into the bag as Whittany reached under the table. She saw Whittany's hand reach for the bag –

The sound of something splattering against the stage caught her attention, and caused Whittany to step back in disgust.

"Someone dropped an egg!" Whittany cried. "Did any get on me?" She checked herself for any sign of an egg shell or a yolk –

Her search was interrupted by a brown powder landing on her head.

"Smells like that cinnamon stuff you put in cinnamon-flavored lip gloss." She looked up, just in time to see a dozen more eggs falling towards her. "Cut it out!" she screamed, running to avoid getting any egg on her, ignoring the sound of Blythe and her friends laughing at her. "Seriously, who let the egg dropping birds in here?"

Brittany held the bowl she had been mixing some ingredients in out to her twin sister. "Hey, can I get some cinnamon off of your head?"

"Oh, sure." She shook her head, shaking some of the cinnamon out of her hair and into the bowl.

#####################################

Zoe couldn't help but laugh; she, Russell, and Vinnie had managed to smuggle some eggs and cinnamon up to the catwalk above the stage and were now dropping them down at the twins.

"We really shouldn't be having this much fun," Zoe lamented.

"Yeah," Russell agreed. "This is all about helping Blythe, though I can't imagine what she'll say when she finds out how we got this stuff up here."

"Hey, you're the one who rigged the pulley system," Zoe reminded him.

##############################

Blythe watched as some more eggs fell from the area above the stage. It was too weird. Nobody was allowed up there unless a stage performance was going on; the last play was a rendition of _Les Miserables_ , and the only reason anyone was up there was because they were portraying some of the extra characters in the play. Blythe should have known that much; she was one of the actors.

But somehow, someone had gotten up there, and whoever it was had smuggled some eggs up there without anyone seeing. How was that possible?

"Less ceiling watching, more searching for our recipe cards," Youngmee said, bringing her back to reality.

##############################

Russell was about to drop another egg when he spotted the balding man climbing the ladder. "We got company, pets."

"I'd say our work here is done," Zoe said, and the three of them hurried away, leaving the eggs and cinnamon behind. They hurried down the catwalk to some ropes, which they gripped with their paws, and they swung to the stage below.

"You'd think someone would have seen that," Zoe lamented as their paws hit the stage.

"They're too busy watching everyone try to make a cake," Russell said.

##############################

Whittany dumped the entire bag of flour into the bowl. Most of it came out smoothly, as she had expected, but the last part was a hard lump that caused the bowl to shake.

"Is this flour stuff supposed to be all, like, lumpy?" Brittany asked.

"I don't know," Whittany snapped. "Let's just get the electric mixer thingy and mix out all the lumps.

Buttercream climbed out of the bowl as the twins walked off and shook the flour from her fur. She was about to look around the table when, right next to her little paws, she spotted what she was looking for – two 3x5 index cards, one with a list of ingredients, one with a drawing of what the cake was going to look like.

Buttercream quickly grabbed the cards and put them in her mouth. She hopped down from the table and started making her way over to Blythe, relieved to finally have her prize and to be away from those girls.

She never noticed one of the cards slip from her jaws and land on the floor; the card got stuck to the bottom of a jock's shoe as he walked past.

Buttercream finally reached Blythe; her little bunny heart was pounding in her chest. She used one of her front paws to get the girl's attention.

"Buttercream? What are you doing here?" Buttercream said nothing, just showed Blythe the card – the one with the drawing on it. Blythe took the card and stood up, waving it above her head. "Sue! Jasper! Youngmee! I found our Taj Mahal sketch!"

"Great!" Sue cried. "And the recipe?"

Blythe let out a frustrated sigh; she used that as an excuse to look down at Buttercream, who was just shrugging her little bunny shoulders. "Sadly, no. I think the recipe is lost to the wind."

"We'll just have to make the cake without it," Youngmee said. "We'll do it by memory. Come on; we're already way behind. Blythe, go to the back and get the extra supplies – we might need them."

"On it," Blythe said. She scooped Buttercream up off the floor and ran off to the backstage area. "Buttercream, you beautiful bunny, you are a life saver! But where did you come from?"

"Well, I was born in a box and then I –"

"Not what I meant," Blythe said, interrupting her.

Russell's voice came from around the other side of the curtain. "Blythe!"

"I had a feeling you guys were responsible for the egg rain earlier," she said as she rounded curtain. She set Buttercream on the floor next to the other pets. "Let me guess – you snuck a ride here with my dad?"

"Worst driver ever," Zoe said. "No offense, Blythe."

Blythe just laughed. "None taken, believe me." She only counted three other pets here – Russell, Zoe, and Vinnie, who for some reason was wearing one of Pepper's cowboy hats and scarfs.

"Buttercream told us about those horrible Biskit girls taking your recipe cards," Zoe continued. "So we just had to help."

"They must have done that when they came to the bakery pretending to be reporters," Blythe guessed.

"You could turn them in and get them disqualified," Russell suggested.

"But the only proof I have is what you guys have told me, and since I'm the only one who can understand you, it won't go over so well," Blythe pointed out. She grabbed a box of utensils. "Look, I have to get back, so for now, just stay here out of sight, okay?" She hurried to the other side of the curtain.

Vinnie started to hurry after her, but was stopped by Russell grabbing his tail.

#################################

Whittany looked all over the table for those index cards; the last she saw them, they were near the edge, where the large mixing bowl was. There was no way they could have just disappeared. She checked the bottom of her shoes and her pockets, but still no cards.

"Brittany, tell me you've got Blythe's recipe cards?" she asked her sister.

"Okay, I have Blythe's recipe cards," Brittany said.

"Really?"

"No, but you told me to tell you that."

Whittany lightly smacked her sister on the side of her head. "That's not what I, like, meant! Our plan was riding on those cards. What are we going to do now?"

"Run away?" Brittany suggested.

"Everyone will, like, see us!" Whittany hollered. "Besides, if we really want that extra grade, then that means –"

"That means that there's only one thing we can do," Brittany said, her voice trembling with horror. "Try our best."

They had never tried their best at anything before. The idea just sounded terrifying. Why should they have to do anything when there were people around waiting to be told by the twins to do stuff for them? It was so unfair, actually having to do something when they could just be sitting at home, their faces glued to their smartphones, texting away at each other.

But now, for the first time in their pampered, spoiled lives, they had no choice.

So they plunged their hands into the ingredient bowls.

###################################

It had been four long, hot hours, but the smell of the cakes was well worth it not only to the audience, but to the bakers. The cakes themselves, after having been given some time backstage to cool off, were now covered with white sheets to keep the shapes of the cakes a secret to everyone but the teams that made them.

Miss Abster and Mr. Barish once again stood at the podium. The microphone gave some screeching feedback as Mr. Barish attempted to adjust it so he could speak into it, hurting everyone's ears – Zoe's most of all; the pets were still backstage, out of sight of everyone else.

Roger turned to Fisher; the two men had been talking on and off during the entire competition, sharing stories about their children and their wives – Fisher's was a divorcee with his ex-wife having visiting rights to the twins, but the fact that she was still alive had Roger envying him in some ways.

On the other hand, Fisher couldn't help but envy Roger. Here was a man who looked, talked, and acted like he knew how and when to have a fun time and had made an honest living as an airline pilot while also instilling some decent morals into his daughter. Whittany and Brittany didn't share any of Blythe's morals – not from a lack of trying on Fisher's part – but then again, they were their own people, so it was natural that they would have different standars.

"We will now begin judging the cakes and the teams," Mr. Barish announced.

The first cake they sampled came from the jocks, a strawberry cake with peanut butter frosting modeled after the Alamo, the sight of one of the bloodiest battles during Texas's push for independence from Mexico; legend had it that frontiersman Davy Crockett himself participated, and was killed in, the battle, which left all of the defenders dead or captured after a long and hard eleven days of fighting. Mr. Barish and Miss Abster each took a bite; the cake was soft and moist, and surprisingly, the peanut butter icing went great with the strawberry filling.

The next cake was the product of the Goth Kids, who had attempted to model it after the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France, constructed between 1887 and 1889 by Maurice Koechlin and Emile Nouguier; it held the record for the tallest building in the world until 1930, at which point it was replaced by the Chrysler Building in New York City. The cake leaned a little near the top and threatened to topple over, so one of the bakers decided to just cut that part off with a spoon; the top of the tower plopped down onto a plate, revealing a chocolate filling underneath the vanilla frosting, making for a decadent taste.

" _Se magnifique,_ " Mr. Barish complimented.

"Though one must always remember the Alamo," Miss Abster added.

They moved on to Blythe's team.

"Judges," Youngmee said. "It is our proud honor to present to you…." Blythe removed the sheet. "The Taj Mahal."

Even without their recipe cards, they had still managed to create a cake perfectly representing the seventeenth century Hindu mausoleum. Each of the towers was topped with a mint frosting,, with the rest of the cake being a mix of vanilla and meringue, and the filling of the cake was a moist chocolate.

"A little history if you like," Blythe said. "The Taj Mahal was commissioned in 1632 by the Mughal Emperor, Shah Jahan, and was built on the south bank of the Yamuna River in the Indian city of Agra. The building is made of ivory white marble and was constructed between 1632 and 1653. It's one of the most culturally and historically important buildings in the Indian subcontinent and in 2007 was inducted into the Seven Wonders of the Modern World."

"Well, it seems almost criminal to take a bite of such a wonderful creation," Miss Abster said as she put a piece of the cake on her plate.

"Well then, the cops had better be on their way here, because we must," Mr. Barish said. The two of them picked up their forks and took a bite.

Blythe, Sue, Jasper, and Youngmee watched with baited breath as the judges slowly at their bites. They had made the thing solely on memory; how was it going to turn out? They were surprised they had even managed to make the thing, but what were Mr. Barish and Miss Abster going to think?

Mr. Barish swallowed his bite and washed it down with a drink from his water bottle. "I would say that this cake is…." He stopped talking.

 _Please tell me that's just for dramatic effect,_ Blythe silently prayed.

"This cake is a triumph!" Mr. Barish announced.

The four friends let out the breath they had been holding. Somehow, they had managed to produce their cake with only the ingredients they had memorized.

The audience burst out into applause. Zoe happily barked; Russell chattered excitedly, and Buttercream happily thumped a foot on the floor.

"Sure, it tastes good," Vinnie said softly. "But maybe that's what it wants you to think."

"Team Youngmee, you've set the bar high," Mr. Barish said. "But there's still one team left." The two teachers made their way over to the twins' table. The twins looked absolutely miserable, whereas when they had seen them earlier they seemed rather peppy.

"Our cake is way superior to theirs in just about every way you can possibly think of," Whittany said bluntly. "Right, Brittany?"

"Superior to the one hundred gajillion hundredth power," Brittany agreed. "See for yourselves." She removed the sheet –

Revealing the ugliest, most hideous, most horrendous thing anyone had ever seen. It looked like the twins, but conjoined together at the base. A knife, a spatula, and two measuring spoons stuck out of the base of the cake, which looked like it had been burnt. The twins themselves were made of vanilla frosting that gave the impression of pale skin, and the teeth were made of green sprinkles, making them look like their teeth were rotten and molded. The hair was purple and pink, off-setting not only the pale looking skin frosting, but also the dead-looking eyes. How could this culinary abomination even be considered good?

Roger Baxter couldn't help but wince. "Ooh. No offense, Fisher, but that could have gone better."

"Yes it could have," Fisher Biskit agreed.

"What the yikes!" Blythe gasped.

"We know," Whittany said proudly, clearly oblivious to just how disgusting their product looked. "It's modeled after us, so there's never been any cake like it. The hair is flavored frosting, the clothes are gourmet chocolate, and the teeth are, as you can tell, green sprinkles."

While the audience had gasped in horror and shock at actually seeing the twins' poor excuse of a culinary art, their gasps turned into screams as the twins' cake heads slid off of their necks, the red borsht filling inside gushing out of the stubs. Miss Abster leaped up into Mr. Barish's arms; Fisher just looked away; Blythe felt like she was going to throw up.

"That's it!" Vinnie cried. "No cake's going to take over the world while Vinnie Terrio is still around!" He hurried out of the pets' hiding place – Russell failing to grab his tail this time – and ran over to the cake heads, stomping one into mush with a few hard leaps. He grabbed the other head – Brittany's cake head – and ran off with it.

"Come back with my head, you stupid iguana!" Brittany hollered after him. "The judges haven't tasted it yet!"

"Forget about that dumb lizard," Whittany said, putting a hand on her sister's shoulder. "They know a winning cake when they, like, see it."

"That's true, Whittany," Mr. Barish agreed.

"And the winner is Team Youngmee!" Miss Abster announced. "Now did anyone see where that lizard ran off to, exactly? I think someone might be looking for it."

Blythe and her friends cheered; it was such a relief that they had won. They never expected to, not with them losing their recipe cards – Blythe still had yet to tell her friends that the twins had taken them, but then again, considering that Buttercream had told her, would her friends believe her? Chances of that were slim. But none of that mattered anymore; all that mattered was that they were going to get that extra half a grade in these two classes.

"And on an even happier note," Mr. Barish announced, "the Ultimate Outrageous Cake Competition raised over $500 for St. Jude's!"

"Cake! Cake! Cake!" Blythe and her friends chanted.

"Cake! Cake! Cake!" Roger chanted from the audience.

Fisher held out a hand. "Well, Mr. Baxter, it was a pleasure meeting you. And congratulations on your daughter and her friends winning."

Roger shook Fisher's hand. "Hey, you too, Mr. Biskit. See you around!"

Fisher made his way to the stage; his daughters were turned away from him, not wanting to look at him. They were afraid he was going to yell at them for making something to horrifying.

But the words that came out of his mouth were not the words they were expecting.

"Good job, girls."

"Good…job?" Brittany repeated.

"Dad, are you going blind?" Whittany asked. "Didn't you see Blythe and her friends just, like, win?"

"Meaning we did, like, the opposite," Brittany added.

"That's true," Fisher agreed. "But at least you gave it your best and that's all that anyone can ask of you. Everyone fails sometimes, but you learn from those failures and use those as your stepping stones to success. Believe me; I would know more than anyone. You did your best, and for that, you should be proud. Be honest with me, girls – aren't you glad that you at least legitimately tried?"

"Well, maybe a little, I guess," Whittany said quietly.

"Not as much as I'd like," Brittany added.

Fisher sighed. "Well, it's a start."

######################################

Blythe put a bowl of pet kibble in front of the four pets; she would have given them a piece of cake, but considering what happened the last time they came into contact with an abundant amount of sugar – not to mention that it was poisonous for at least Zoe to have it – she didn't want to take that chance.

"Thanks for helping us out today, you guys," she said as she patted them on the head.

"Anything for a friend," Zoe said. She started digging into her bowl. Vinnie ran past, still carrying the decapitated cake head of Whittany Biskit. "You're not planning on eating that, are you, Vinnie?" she asked.

"Do I look crazy to you?" Vinnie asked. Zoe opened her mouth to say something about the hat and scarf he was still wearing. "Don't answer that. Of course I'm not eating it; I'm beating it up!" He leaped up into the air and came down hard, shattering the head.


	20. Terriers and Tiaras

TERRIERS AND TIARAS

RUSSELL HAD BEEN WANTING TO TRY OUT SOMETHING HIS OWNER HAD SHOWN him on the Internet the other night, and with the blender set up on the counter in the store, now seemed like the perfect time. All he needed was some pet food and purified water, easy to find in a pet shop. The kibble went into the blender first, then the water. He put the lid on and started the blender.

A few moments later, he, Minka, Sunil, Pepper, and Zoe were drinking pet food smoothies. He offered the pitcher to Blythe, who was at the counter, jotting something down in a notebook.

"No thanks, Russell."

"Suit yourself," Russell said as he hopped down from the counter. He took a drink from the pitcher. "You don't know what you're missing."

 _I think I can imagine,_ Blythe thought.

The door to the shop opened; a brown haired man stepped in, dressed in a sharp black suit. Blythe could have sworn she'd seen him somewhere before, but she couldn't quite put her finger on where.

"Hello young miss," he said. "I'm lost. Can you kindly point me in the direction of Largest Ever Pet Shop?"

"Are you sure you want to go all the way across town?" Blythe asked him. "We've got everything you could ever need for your pet here in Littlest Pet Shop."

"Yes, well, I'm not exactly looking for pet supplies," the man said as he pulled a business card from his pocket. "Christopher Lydecker, producer for the hit reality show _Terriers and Tiaras._ "

Those three words caught the attention of Zoe Trent.

"Someone named Bisque or Basket or something like that tipped me off that there's some new pageant talent ready down at Largest Ever Pet Shop."

"Reality show?" Blythe repeated. "Pet pageant? Yeah, that sounds like the Biskits, alright. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the twins. Okay, so you want to go to the end of the block and –" Zoe's barks interrupted her. "Can you excuse me for a minute?" She knelt down behind the counter. "What is it, Zoe?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"Blythe Baxter, don't you dare send that man away!" Zoe barked. "You have got to get me on _Terriers and Tiaras._ "

"But all those animal pageant shows do is create unnecessary drama and make everyone look silly," Blythe countered.

Zoe raised her front paws and put them together. "Please, please, PLEASE get me on that show!" she pleaded.

"Would John and Clarissa even go for it?" Blythe asked. "I'd have to ask them first." Zoe pulled a piece of paper out from under her beret and showed it to Blythe. " 'To whom it may concern, if Zoe wants to be part of a pet pageant, DO IT. Signed, John and Clarissa Trent'."

"I can be the makeup department," Minka volunteered.

"And I'll come along to be the gofer," Russell put in, "which isn't easy for a hedgehog, believe me."

"I don't know about this, Zoe," Blythe said. She knew nothing of this show; what if it turned out just as she had said and was just a bunch of nonsense? Even with Mr. and Mrs. Trent's approval via letter, she wasn't sure if she should even allow Zoe to be part of the show.

"Very well, Blythe," Zoe said sternly. The other pets started to back away; they knew what was coming. "You leave me no choice." She turned away for a second; when she turned back, her eyes were wide and watery and she was letting out a sad whimper.

"Sorry, Zoe, but the sad puppy dog eyes have no effect on me this time," Blythe said. She opened her mouth to say something else, but stopped when Zoe was bathed in a stoplight and water started falling on top of her – courtesy of Russell holding a flashlight and Minka dousing Zoe with a garden bottle. "Okay, fine, you talked me into it." Zoe let out a happy bark and shook the water from her fur.

Blythe stood up, Zoe held in her arms. "Mr. Lydecker, if you're looking for your future pageant winner, the most fabulous pooch in all of Downtown City is right here at Littlest Pet Shop." She held Zoe out in front of her. "The one and only Zoe Trent." Zoe greeted Mr. Lydecker with a happy bark.

##############################

Judi Jo Jameson was known throughout the pageant world as the biggest pageant mom this side of…well, just about anyone, really. She had been a regular star on _Terriers and Tiaras_ with her Maltese named Princess Stori since its inception four years ago. Most people wanted a dog so they could have a companion, someone to greet them at the door after a long day at work and play with in their spare time, but to Judi Jo, that was not what a dog was for. To Judi Jo, a dog was for showing off, for showing that she was the better pageant mom, and though she was sure her assistant Philippa would disagree, the trophies and awards – not to mention the amount of money she had won – were proof that she had every reason to consider herself one of the greats.

She prided herself not just on winning, but on scoping out the competition, and at the moment, the parking lot for the studio was empty. She pulled in, taking the spot closest to the sidewalk – the sign read "Reserved for Studio Staff", but Judi Jo figured that since she was more or less the star of the show, she was studio staff – and climbed out, dog in one hand, large cup of diet soda in the other, leaving all of her luggage – nearly ten bags worth, almost all of it filled with her stuff and grooming supplies for Princess Stori – to Phillipa.

"Philippa, you forgot Princess Stori's eyeliner!" Judi Jo yelled at her young assistant. "Go back and get them!" Her scowl quickly became a smile as the camera crew pulled in. She ran over to them, brushing past Philippa, causing the young girl to drop everything she had been carrying, as the crew set up a camera and boom mike.

"So," she said to the camera, "today's the Downtown City _Terriers and Tiaras_ pageant. And we're very excited to compete against some of the best dogs in the world. Of course, maybe the others aren't quite as committed as we are. Princess Stori has to get to the studio at least five hours before everyone else to get a feel for the competition." She spotted Philippa out of the corner of her eye trying to balance all ten bags on her arms as well as trying to open the door. "Bless her heart she tries, but she's not a professional. I'm looking to hire one as soon as Princess Stori and I win this competition."

Philippa would have rolled her eyes if she weren't so focused on trying not to fall over and be buried under a mountain of duffel bags. She had taken this job as a way to earn extra money for college – she was only seventeen years old and had started looking to expand her studies after graduating high school – and though she had been working for Judi Jo for the last ten months, with at least one pageant per month in a different city, she could tell that this was probably the worst job she would ever have. Judi Jo put on a kind, sweet face for the camera, but she was always yelling at Philippa – "Philippa do this, Philippa do that, Philippa do my laundry, Philippa wash the car, Philippa didn't cook my chicken just the way I like it" – and the only time she felt any sort of enjoyment was when she was grooming Princess Stori, and even then, Judi Jo would often yell at her afterwards for having one single strand of fur out of alignment.

So to hear Judi Jo say that she would hire someone else to be her assistant helped ease the burden on Philippa's shoulders; and even if that hadn't been the case, this was the last _Terriers and Tiaras_ show she was going to do, as she was going to quit and go back home with what little money Judi Jo had bothered to give her as payment, which would barely be enough to put gas in a car.

She hurried as fast as she could – which, with more than 200 pounds in her arms and on her shoulders, wasn't very fast – to Judi Jo's dressing room to drop off the bags.

#############################

"The Downtown City _Terriers and Tiaras_ pageant will feature some of the best dogs from around the world," Christopher Lydecker said to the camera. "We haven't seen any competition quite this fabulous. This is an intense competition that will challenge our dogs in beauty, talent, and so many more areas." He took a breath, waiting for his cue – this would be the moment when, during post-production, the title cards and music would play. The cameraman counted down from three, then gave him the cue. "Welcome back to _Terriers and Tiaras_. I'm your host, Christopher Lydecker." He reached down, below the focal point of the camera, and pulled up a golden crown studded with sapphires. "And this is the crown that will go to our…." He paused to take another breath; the title was so long – it wasn't his idea – that he needed the extra oxygen just to say it. "Ultimate Supremest Congeniality Most Photogenic Most Talented Super-Sparkle Grand Supreme Pageant Winner of the Six and Unders."

The camera panned over to the blonde woman in the red armchair, who had a brown Yorkshire Terrier sitting on her lap. "Hello," she said to the camera. "I'm Cindeanna Mellon, and this is my Yorkie, Shea Butter. At home, Shea Butter sleeps at the foot of the bed in the master bedroom. Me? I sleep in the dog bed. My little Shea Butter currently holds the title of Furriest Face in the whole tri-state area."

A few moments later, another woman was sitting in the chair, with a brown griffon bruxellois. "I'm Tanya Twitchel, and this is my baby boy, Sam U. L. Sam U. L. has been training for _Terriers and Tiaras_ for the past seven months, 18 hours a day straight." It certainly looked that way; the poor pooch was panting, his tongue hanging out, looking absolutely exhausted.

Blythe had been watching the entire time, feeling the butterflies in her stomach. When Zoe asked her to bring her on this show, she had expected that the cameras would only be focused on the dogs, not the people. And now it was her turn to sit in the chair, Zoe sitting on her lap, the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel looking happy and excited, while Blythe just stared straight ahead, unblinking, at the soulless black eye that was the camera lens.

When she was forced to participate on _Shake-A-Leg_ , she hadn't been too worried about the cameras watching her, wasn't too worried about being seen by millions of people all across the nation, but that was because she was distracted by dancing with one of the various Igors. But now, there was no such distraction. It was just her and the camera; Zoe, Mr. Lydecker, and the rest of the cast and crew might as well have not even been there.

Blythe hated cameras. It didn't matter if it was a film camera like this one or a disposable Kodak; if she saw a camera, she froze, and her mind went blank.

The only thing going through her mind right now was the wish that she were anywhere else at this particular moment.

"So Blythe," Mr. Lydecker said from off-camera, "why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"

"Blythe," was the only word she could say.

"Okay," Mr. Lydecker said uncertainly. "Uh, what about your dog? What's her name?"

"Blythe."

"Uh, no, that's your name. Well, you're up against some of the toughest dogs in all of _Terriers and Tiaras_ history, participating in some of the hardest fields of the entire competition. How do you like your pup's chances?"

"Blythe."

"Seriously? Is that all you can say right now?" Zoe whispered under her breath.

"Okay, cut," Mr. Lydecker called. "Feeling a little tense during the interview portions, aren't we, dear?"

"I'm sorry," Blythe said. "It's just, I'm kind of camera shy. See, I thought it was just going to be Zoe and the other dogs on camera, not the owners and caretakers."

"Well, that's something you'll have to fix, and fast," Mr. Lydecker told her. "After all, this is reality television. But hey, not everyone gets used to the cameras right away. Tell you what, why don't you watch how Judi Jo Jameson does it and take a few notes down?"

"I guess that's a good idea," Blythe said as she climbed out of the chair.

"Better than a good idea," Zoe whispered, knowing Blythe would be the only one to hear her.

A few minutes later, the camera was focused on Judi Jo Jameson, sitting in the armchair with her pearl white Maltese, Princess Stori.

"My name's Judi Jo Jameson, and y'all know who this is. It's Princess Stori." Princess Stori let out a happy bark. "She's won every pageant in this big, beautiful country of ours."

Blythe was watching from the hallway outside the interview room, still holding Zoe in her arms; Minka and Russell had joined them – they had been off looking for a snack while Blythe was making a fool of herself on national television.

 _They'll probably edit that part out,_ she figured. _And this Judi Jo Jameson; she really has been doing this for a while, hasn't she? To her, the cameras might as well not even be here. Maybe I should take a few lessons from her._

Zoe gasped. "That's Princess Stori!"

"I know; I just heard her owner say that," Blythe replied.

"Yeah, and she's the most famous dog on the pageant circuit, and I'm not just talking about this show. The Collie Club of America, the American Whippet Club, Eukanuba, Purina, the Newfoundland Dog Club, and of course the American Kennel Club – if she hasn't won any of those shows, she's certainly known for being in the Top 10."

"Cut!" Mr. Lydecker cried. He turned to Blythe. "Miss Baxter, please, quiet that yapping dog. I'm trying to interview our VIP superstar."

Judi Jo took a drink from the cup Philippa handed her from behind the chair. "Don't you fret none, sweet cheeks. You won't have any more interviews for today, not after that fiasco from earlier. And I wouldn't be surprised if it's already on the web by now." She took another drink.

"You know, your dog isn't the only pageant winner here," Blythe shot back. "Zoe's won a few herself."

Judi Jo just laughed while Philippa started to fan her, cooling her down. "Look, buttercup, your little downtown pet shop shows just don't count, okay? It's not the same as the real deal. Tata for now, darling." She turned and walked off, Philippa hurrying after her.

Blythe glowered after the older woman. So what if she flubbed that stupid on-camera part? It wasn't like she knew she was going to be on camera. And besides, she was sure that Zoe was the much better and more successful dog. She didn't need a bunch of awards or multi-thousand dollar paychecks every day to prove that to anyone. True, Malteses had better health records than a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, especially later in life, but how healthy the dog was didn't matter to Blythe. How well a dog was groomed or how well it performed didn't matter to her.

What mattered was the quality of the dog, and Zoe had more qualities than any dog she'd ever met.

"That's it," she growled. "We're leaving."

"Blythe, wait! No! Don't leave!" Zoe pleaded as Blythe carried her to the doors. "I don't want to go home just yet!"

"Come on, Blythe," Russell said as he and Minka hurried after her. "We can't leave."

"Yeah, we can beat Princess Stori," Minka agreed. "We just need to figure out how."

#################################

Blythe wanted to leave, she truly did, but after what Judi Jo said to her, that could wait. It was true she believed that the character of a dog came first above all else, but this was becoming personal. She wanted Zoe to win, but first, she had to show Zoe something, so she brought Zoe to the main auditorium, showing her the stage that had been set up.

"What are we doing in here?" Zoe asked as she looked at the stage, with its blue curtains and borders painted with the show's logo, a tiara with two "T"s surrounding it, and a pawprint in the middle of the crown.

"I just wanted to show you the stage where you're going to beat Princess Stori," Blythe told her.

"You mean, we're not leaving?" Zoe asked. "I actually get to compete?"

"You sure do. I know how much this means to you, and I'll be darned if I let the likes of Judi Jo Jameson ruin it for you." The three pets barked, chattered, and hooted their applause.

Blythe had to admit to herself, this was probably a bad idea, but then again, she also wanted to somehow redeem herself for that abomination of an interview earlier. She would take what she saw from Judi Jo and apply that to any future on-camera moments, and she would make sure that Zoe would win the prize of the Ultimate Supremest Congeniality Most Photogenic Most Talented Super-Sparkle Grand Supreme Pageant Winner of the Six and Unders.

The first thing she wanted to do was show Zoe the obstacle course the dogs were expected to run. It consisted of a seesaw for the dogs to run on, a tube to crawl through, a ramp to run up, and a hoop to jump through. Blythe had heard that the griffon bruxellois Sam U. L. had trained for eighteen hours a day over the last seven months for this part of the contest in particular. She and Zoe didn't have that kind of time, but she could at least let Zoe get her paws metaphorically wet before the other dogs did.

"Okay Zoe, let's practice this obstacle course."

"Blythe, hon, I don't do athletics," Zoe reminded her. "I'm not a physical kind of dog."

"But Zoe, you can't win this pageant if you don't do the obstacle course," Blythe replied. "It's part of the contest."

"Yeah, like in that show _Double Dare,_ " Minka chimed in.

"Sorry, Blythe, but I will win with style, not brute force," Zoe said.

Christopher Lydecker was watching from off to the side with his cameraman; all they heard was Zoe barking at Blythe. "Noisy dogs never do well on this show."

The camera moved to another angle, just as Blythe and the pets made their way to the start of the obstacle course. She saw the camera out of the corner of her eye, but right now, she was focused on helping Zoe. In fact, just knowing that the camera was there should have bothered her, should have made her lock up, but not this time. Just like before, there was something to take her mind off the camera, and that something was Minka preparing to show Zoe how to do the course.

"Pay attention to Minka, Zoe." Minka took off running – over the seesaw, through the tube, up and over the ramp, through the flags, and through the hoop. "Awesome job, Minka."

"Real nice, sugarcube, real nice," Judi Jo said from off to the side; she and the other dogs' owners had been watching the entire time. "But this is a dog competition. People don't want to see a chimpanzee and a porcupine doing this sort of thing."

"I'm a spider monkey," Minka chattered.

"And I'm a hedgehog, not a porcupine," Russell added. "Seriously, why is that so difficult for people to understand?"

"Maybe we should paint you blue?" Minka suggested. "Give you red shoes?"

"Sam U. L., HUP!" Tanya commanded. The dog leaped out of her arms and ran the course, finishing in less than three seconds what took Minka almost ten. He let out a determined bark and leaped back into his owner's arms.

Blythe glared at them. Sure, Sam U. L. was good, but she knew that Zoe could be better. "Show them what you can do, Zoe." Zoe took a step towards the obstacle course, put a paw on the seesaw, and slowly started to walk up the wooden board. She made it to the center when the board began to tilt to the other side, causing her to stop in her tracks. She yelped in terror and jumped off the board, running to cower behind Blythe.

The other dogs' owners just laughed.

"Undisciplined dogs disgust me," Tanya muttered.

"Come along, ladies," Judi Jo said. "This young one's clearly got a lot to learn about the pageant circuit. If she can't handle agility, she's got no chance of winning." The three of them walked off, leaving only Philippa behind.

Philippa walked over to Zoe and bent down, gently reaching out to pet her. "Sorry about what they're saying," she said to Blythe. "They just, I don't know, think the world revolves around them."

"Believe me, I know two people who would probably give them a run for their money," Blythe said, thinking about the Biskit Twins. "By the way, I'm Blythe."

"Philippa."

"Philippa, where are you?" Judi Jo hollered from down the hall.

"Uh oh. Gotta go."

#############################

It was Philippa's turn to be interviewed – with permission from Judi Jo, who wouldn't stop yelling at her about it. But this few moments away from the overbearing woman was enough for Philippa to at least relax a little bit. She'd been on camera before, so this was nothing new to her.

"Well, beauty is probably the most important part of this pageant," she said to the camera, "and that's where I come in. You see, I was originally hired to just have fun with Princess Stori, but then I was put in charge of her makeup and her fur, and now actually having fun with the dog seems like something that never happens. It's kind of depressing, but something I can't exactly control."

"Philippa! We need that sequins!" Judi Jo called from the makeup room.

"Gotta run; duty calls," Philippa said as she stood up from the chair.

Blythe was watching from the hallway. She felt bad for the poor girl. Didn't Judi Jo realize that she was working Philippa like, well, a dog? Or did she realize and just not care?

But the makeup rooms sounded like a good place to be. After all, the beauty contest was coming up soon, and Blythe wanted to make sure that Zoe was the most beautiful dog in the entire building. And since that horrible attempt at grooming her when Raoul was out shortly after she started working at Littlest Pet Shop, she'd gotten so much better at grooming not just Zoe, but all the pets – partly because she didn't let her mind wander and distract her anymore.

Most of the other dogs had been in the room for a while. One was getting its fur dried after a bath, another one was getting its teeth flossed, and one dog was getting its nails trimmed.

Minka was running a brush through Zoe's fur while Blythe searched for her makeup supplies; Russell was sitting on the nearby stand, looking at the day's newspaper and listening to Minka tell Zoe about the rumors going around the Day Camp.

"So Vinnie told Pepper that Sunil told Penny Ling told me that Russell has a bald spot," Minka said as she brushed Zoe.

"I'm right here, I can hear you," Russell said dryly.

Judi Jo's voice caught Blythe's attention. She looked over to the next booth, where Philippa was running a brush through Princess Stori's fur.

"Not like that," Judi Jo said. "You have to get some lift to the fur, like this." She sprayed Princess Stori's head with some hairspray, then ran the brush through her fur, perking it up into a beehive hairdo that looked almost exactly like hers. "Rule Number One of the beauty pageant: The higher the hair, the more beautiful the dog."

 _The higher the hair, the more beautiful the dog,_ Blythe repeated to herself. She gently pushed Minka aside. "Step aside Minka, let me try something." She Zoe down with some hairspray and brushed her, leaving her hair more curly and higher than it normally was. "There we go. What do you think?"

"Well, I guess it looks a little higher," Minka said.

"Yeah, no doubt about that," Russell agreed.

"I guess Judi Jo was right; the higher the hair, the more beautiful the dog," Blythe said. "Minka, mind if I give the makeup a try? That's what I was looking for to begin with."

"Help yourself," Minka said. She handed Blythe a stick of lipstick.

Blythe ran the lipstick over Zoe's mouth; put some mascara on her eyes, straightened out her eyelashes and whiskers, and smothered her face in gel to remove any blemishes or dirty patches of fur that may have been hidden from view. "There we go, now you look as beautiful as the other contestants."

"Uh, Blythe? Don't you think that's a bit too much makeup?" Minka asked.

"Not if you want to win a beauty pageant, Monkeybutt," Blythe answered.

Minka turned to Russell and Zoe. "Did she just call me –"

"Monkeybutt, yes," Russell finished for her.

##################################

The talent show was about to begin. Those who bought a ticket to see the show live had arrived and taken their seats in the studio audience. There were cameras set to capture the stage, the audience, and Mr. Lydecker, who was standing at a podium near the stage. On the stage now was Shea Butter; his owner, Cindeanna Mellon, watched and gave commands from off stage.

"Welcome to Downtown City's very first _Terriers and Tiaras_ pageant!" Mr. Lydecker announced, iliciting applause from the audience. "We're going to start with the talent portion of the pageant. First up, Cindeanna Mellon and her Yorkshire Terrier Shea Butter." Cindeanna threw three Frisbees to Shea Butter. Shea Butter caught two of them while doing flips – one backflip and one front flip – while the third was caught while he was spinning on the tips of his hind legs.

#################################

Blythe would have been at the pageant, but she was back in the interview room, now feeling much more comfortable than she had just a couple of hours ago. Zoe was sitting on the big red armchair next to her, and the cameras were rolling.

"I can't begin to tell you how much fun this is becoming," Blythe said to the camera. "We're thinking about reworking our routine for the show; we need every little thing to go perfectly, after all."

Judi Jo Jameson approached her, Philippa not far behind, her large cup of diet soda still in her right hand, while her left hand once again held Princess Stori. "What in the name of this green Earth do you think you're doing in my interview room?" she bellowed.

"Nobody was using it," Blythe answered, "so I figured I'd –"

"You listen here, you little twerp," Judi Jo interrupted her. "Nobody with a brain in their head disrespects Judi Jo Jameson like this, got it? So you take that little furball you call a dog back to whatever pet shop you got it from and let the big dogs play this game."

"You might scare everyone else, Judi Jo," Blythe said as she stood up; she stepped closer to the older woman. "But you don't scare me. And there's not a dog more talented at this pageant than Zoe Trent."

Zoe tilted her head. Maybe her ears were just playing tricks on her, but she thought she heard Blythe's voice taking on a slightly different accent, a slightly Southern drawl resembling Judi Jo's.

"Now if you don't mind," Blythe continued, "I've got a show to win. You got that, sugar?" She scooped Zoe up off the chair and walked out of the room, leaving Judi Jo confused.

"What in the world just happened?"

The camera crew smiled at each other; this was exactly what they were looking for, just what the people at home wanted. Nobody watched this show for the cute, pretty dogs – they watched it for the dogs' owners and caretakers going at each other's throats, and they were just now starting to get what they were looking for.

"That little runt thinks she has what it takes to be a pageant mom," Judi Jo growled. "Well, she'll see."

###############################

Russell and Zoe sat on one end of the seesaw while Minka hopped between them, making them fly up into the air. Blythe had gone off to, as she put it, powder her nose, leaving Zoe with the other two pets, so they figured they'd take that time to actually play. After all, with how serious Blythe was starting to take this pageant thing, they had little down time.

They were joined by two of the other dogs, Shea Butter and Sam U. L.

"I saw your performance on the playback, Shea Butter. Good work," Zoe complimented the Yorkie.

"Thanks, Zoe," Shea Butter said. "But I'm just ready to take this stupid outfit off." She showed Zoe the yellow tutu she was wearing. "It's not exactly the most comfortable thing in the world, and I've been on my paws all day; my dogs are barking, if you know what I mean."

"I wish I had a gorgeous outfit like that one," Zoe said, looking over the outfit.

"You can have it, sister," Shea Butter grumbled. "If I never saw it again, I would be one happy Yorkie. You're lucky Blythe lets you play on the seesaw while she goes off to do whatever."

"Yeah, I'd be in some hot water if my owner caught me on that," Sam U. L. agreed. "Actually, I'll probably get the newspaper just for talking to you. Gotta go!" He scampered off.

"I don't quite understand," Zoe said as Mink and Russell joined them. "Your owners don't want you to have fun?"

"You're new to the whole pageant thing, aren't you?" Shea Butter laughed. "You'll learn soon enough, but you might not like what you find out about it." She let out a friendly bark and walked off, leaving the room –

Just as Blythe walked into the room, her hair now in a much different style, pulled up to be much shorter than it was earlier. And when she spoke, that wasn't her voice – at least, that wasn't her normal accent.

"What are y'all doin' sittin' around like a bunch of round sitters?" she asked, her voice now dripping with a thick Tennessee accent, leaving the pets confused.

Russell glanced at Minka, who just shrugged her shoulders, and Zoe, who just shook her head. "We were waiting for you so we could discuss Zoe's talents," he said.

"Alright then, chop chop," Blythe said, clapping her hands together. "Y'all ain't gonna win no Ultimate Supremest Congeniality Most Photogenic Most Talented Super-Sparkle Grand Supreme Pageant Winner of the Six and Unders sitting around like that. Let's see what y'all got!"

"Well, I was working on a new dance routine for Zoe for her portion of the talent show," Russell said.

"Well, let's see it."

The dance that Russell had taught Zoe was an elegant one, but there was very little movement, mostly just Zoe crossing her front lets together and occasionally moving a back leg. Blythe slapped a hand against her face; how was she expecting to win with something so…boring?

 _Sure, Russell tried, bless his little hedgehog heart, but this just won't do,_ she thought. "That's enough Zoe. I thought you came here to win this thing?" she asked.

"I did," Zoe retorted. "But –"

"Well that boring little routine ain't gonna win you nothing."

"But I like those moves," Zoe pleaded. "Russell came up with them."

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that Blythe used a double negative?" Russell asked. No one acknowledged him. "Guess I'm the only one, huh?"

"Russell ain't the one competing," Blythe said. "This is a DOG show, not a HEDGEHOG show. Y'all wanna win, right?" Zoe just nodded her head. "Then this is how you gotta do it." She got down on the floor and started raising her arms and flexing her legs. "You got it? You go." Zoe started to follow Blythe's movements, but stopped when Blythe growled in frustration. "No! All wrong! You gotta use the old Baxter method, like I did. That's the only way you'll beat Judi Jo."

"I don't care about beating Judi Jo," Zoe said softly.

"Beat Judi Jo, win the pageant, whatever, either way you have to follow my lead."

"Hey Minka," Russell whispered to the little monkey. "Remember back at the pet shop when Blythe said that pet pageants always turn into something ugly? Well, this has officially started getting ugly."

"Ugly with a capital UGH," Minka added.

###############################

The pets followed Blythe out to the stage, where another dog was performing. "Y'all better pack up and hit the road before you hit traffic, 'cause ain't no way any y'all are beating my Zoe."

"It finally happened, didn't it?" Shea Butter asked Zoe; the other two dogs had joined them while their owners weren't looking.

"Your friend has gone full pageant mom," Sam U. L. guessed.

"Blythe? Oh, no, she's just a little…overexcited," Zoe said.

Deep down, though, she knew the truth. She knew these other two dogs were right. Blythe was no longer the kind, sweet, caring girl she knew; she was becoming something else, something Zoe had never imagined her friend would become.

Blythe was turning into a monster right before her very eyes. Zoe just didn't want to admit it.

"Zoe, Zoe, Zoe, it happens to everyone at some point or another," Shea Butter said. "We all used to have fun with our owners, and then this show reared its ugly head. Don't get me wrong, I like being taken care of by Cindeanna, but I would rather play with her than be in these dumb shows. You know, be a real dog for once."

"Here, let me tell y'all what that trophy's gonna say," Blythe continued, speaking to the cameras and the audience. "It's gonna have my name engraved on it – Blythe Baxter, and don't you forget it!"

"Yup. She's gone to the dark side," Shea Butter continued.

"That's can't be true!" Zoe barked. She ran up to Blythe, rubbing her leg with a paw to get her attention. "Blythe, it's almost time for me to go on, and I'm nervous. Please tell me you have some kind words of encouragement."

"No, but I do have your new look for the beauty pageant," Blythe said. She reached into the bag she had slung over her arm and pulled out something that made Zoe's heart sink.

It was a sentimental piece, something that Blythe herself had made for Zoe's birthday last week, but it had been altered. Blythe had added strings to the sleeves and stars on the belt, and little white fluff to the trim of the collar and the skirt. By itself, it might not have been so bad, but the fact that Blythe had taken something that she herself had made for Zoe out of the goodness of her heart and ruined it….Zoe felt like she was going to burst into tears.

"What have you done to it?"

"Winning this pageant is the most important thing right now," Blythe answered. "And you ain't winning it with no boring old dress, candy corn."

"But that dress was important to me, Blythe," Zoe sobbed. "Now look what you've done to it!"

"Sacrifices gotta be made," Blythe said. "Now let's get this sample of gorgeous on you." She pulled the dress down over Zoe's furry head, putting her forelegs through the sleeves. "There we go." Zoe looked down at the dress; she felt sick wearing something that meant so much to her but was now ruined. "Almost done." Blythe put a small cowboy hat on Zoe's head. "There we go, ZoZo. Much better."

Zoe growled and snarled. She was really beginning to hate this.

"Blythe," she said. "I don't think I want to be in this show anymore."

"The heck are you talking about?" Blythe asked. "You're gonna win this thing for me, ain't you?"

"I want to go home!" Zoe barked. "Now if you'll kindly remove this tiny cowboy hat before I rip it to shreds –"

Judi Jo's voice stopped her before she could say anything else. "That dog looks like a parade float at a circus clown's funeral," she laughed.

"At least she doesn't look like a scoop of vanilla ice cream like your scrawny mutt!" Blythe shot back. She stormed over to Judi Jo and the rest of the dogs' owners, going past Princess Stori, who was making her way over to Zoe.

"This dress was one of the most meaningful gifts I've ever gotten," Zoe lamented sadly. "And now it's ruined."

"At least she knows you're a female," Princess Stori said. "My owner's been dressing me up like a girl and calling me Princess Stori since I was a pup."

Zoe had expected a lady's voice coming from this Maltese, not a deep male's voice. It was surprising, to say the least. Princess Stori's effeminate looks certainly didn't help much in that regard, though that could have been the result of years of being groomed as a female dog.

Still, Zoe couldn't help but bark in surprise. "You're a…."

"A male, yeah," Stori said softly. "Judi Jo never bothered to check."

"Oh wow, this is…honestly a bit unexpected," Zoe admitted. She shook her head. "Stori, if you don't like this, then why do you do it? Why do you do these pageants all the time?"

"It makes Judi Jo happy," Stori answered. He pointed a paw at Judi Jo, who was in a heated argument with Blythe. "Your owner's got some guts, I'll give her that."

"She's not my owner, she's my friend," Zoe replied. She hung her head low. "Or at least, I thought she was. And if this is her idea of happy, I don't want to see her idea of sad." The other two dogs joined them. "Stori, you're a legend on the pageant circuit. Before today, I would have figured you'd loved the limelight and being famous."

"That's kind of what we've been hinting to you this entire time," Sam U. L. said. "None of us like this anymore. To our owners, we're just animals with no feelings who do what we're told."

"We're dogs, not accessories," Shea Butter put in. "We're supposed to be out in the park, eating stuff we're not supposed to eat and slobbering all over strangers' legs, not cooped up in some pageant house or thrown in a pet carrier while our owners reap the rewards of our hard work and sacrifice."

"Well, I'm with you," Zoe said. "This has been an absolutely dreadful experience. And I don't want to do this anymore."

"Good for you, Zoe," Stori sighed. "I wish I could quit, too. Hey, wait a minute. I know where Philippa keeps all the bags of dog treats, if you want to go raiding."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Shea Butter cheered. She and Sam U. L. scampered off.

Zoe and Stori would have followed, had Blythe and Judi Jo not scooped them up from the floor.

"Come on, Zoe," Blythe said as she carried Zoe to the stage. "You're almost on, and your ears aren't pretty. Why aren't your ears pretty?"

 _Maybe because_ you _never bothered grooming them,_ Zoe silently hissed.

#############################

Five minutes later, Zoe was on the stage, putting on the bravest face she could. She could put up with some humiliation if it meant making Blythe happy.

But then again, Zoe wasn't happy. That was what was really concerning her. This whole thing was supposed to be about her spending the day with her best human friend, and instead, it had become a mockery of a show she once held in high esteem and overall the most dreadful experience of her life. Her fake smile was waning every second, and she was tempted to just rip that dress off and run away.

"Don't worry, Judi Jo," Blythe teased the older woman. "I'll set up a webcam so you can see the trophy while it's sitting on my shelf."

Zoe couldn't take it any longer, and gave in to temptation. There was a collective gasp from the audience – as well as the camera crew – as Zoe tore the dress from her body, ripping it to shreds with her teeth and claws. She barked once, then ran off the stage and into the dressing rooms.

"Zoe Trent, you get back here this instant!" Blythe called after her.

"Don't forget to give me the password for that webcam, Little Miss Diva," Judi Jo taunted her. Blythe growled in frustration, balling her fists and flaring her nostrils, and ran after Zoe.

"Zoe!' she called as she entered her dressing room. "Zoe, get your furry behind out here! This is not fabulous behavior!" Minka and Russell followed closely behind her as she entered the room. "Zoe is such a diva," Blythe muttered. "Doesn't she know what I sacrificed to get here?"

"I don't know; a Saturday afternoon?" Russell guessed.

"I thought this was supposed to be Zoe's day anyway," Minka wondered.

Blythe spotted Zoe's tail poking out from under one of the tables. She pulled Zoe out and set her on top of the table.

"Okay, so you had a little tantrum," Blythe said calmly. "No big deal. We'll get you fixed up and back on stage in two shakes of a collie's tail."

"No, Blythe," Zoe growled.

"Come now, sunshine. We're not gonna let someone like Judi Jo Jameson take home the grand prize, are we?" Blythe asked.

"I mean it, Blythe!" Zoe barked. "I'm not going back out there!" She shook her head, removing all the makeup that Blythe had put on her earlier. She fixed the fur on the top of her head, putting back in the style that she liked, with the fur hanging down over her ears and slightly over her eyes.

"But Zoe! What about the title of Ultimate Supremest Congeniality Most Photogenic Most Talented Super-Sparkle Grand Supreme Pageant Winner of the Six and Unders?"

"I don't care about that!" Zoe yelled. "I came here to have fun and spend time with my best human friend, not be terrorized by a Judi Jo Jameson wannabe!" She turned her back on Blythe with one last bark.

"There's nothing fun in dog pageants!" Blythe shot back. "This has been about one thing and one thing only: Beating Judi Jo!"

"Then you'll just have to do it without me," Zoe said softly. "I am not doing this anymore." She hopped down from the table and ran for the door.

"Fine!" Blythe hollered after her. "I don't need you, Zoe! I can find another dog faster than you can find a bone in the backyard!" She looked down at the only other two pets in the room, her eyes fixated on Russell in particular. Minka slowly backed away in fright; Russell could only stand there as Blythe grinned at him, menacingly.

################################

Christopher Lydecker was giving yet another interview.

"Whenever one of our contestants has what we like to call a meltdown, we allow for a last-minute substitution. It doesn't happen all too often, but it's also more common than one might think, if that makes any sense. And this new entry, I've been told, is a hedgehog – must be one of those new European breeds."

##################################

Blythe went right to work getting the makeup on Russell and trimming down his quills. They only had a few minutes, so she had to work fast. The hedgehog's quills were far too long and too sharp, and if she wanted to fit him into Zoe's dress, they needed to be shortened.

"Blythe!" Mr. Lydecker called as he hurried over to her. "You're on! Like, right now!"

"Mr. Lydecker, allow me to introduce you to your new _Terriers and Tiaras_ star," Blythe said. She held Russell up, presenting him, now adorned in the blue dress and cowboy hat that Zoe had been wearing. "Russell."

Russell could only smile nervously as Mr. Lydecker looked him over.

"That's a hedgehog?"

"No, sweet cheeks, that's a superstar," Blythe replied.

"Yeah, okay, whatever, just get out there, Russell," Mr. Lydecker ordered. Russell sagged his shoulders and hopped down from the table. "As for you, Blythe, we could use more camera time from you. You're great TV!"

"I am?" Blythe asked, legitimately confused.

"You sure are," Mr. Lydecker said. He led her over to a television in the back of the room. "Here, I'll put it on playback." He pressed a button on the remote control.

There she was, in that pink jacket and skirt, her hair shortened and curled near the top, mascara on her eyes and blush on her cheeks. It would have looked cute, if not for the situation – she was in the dressing room from earlier, yelling at Zoe, scolding her for her tantrum on the stage.

"You're more Judi Jo than Judi Jo," Mr. Lydecker said.

She knew it was supposed to be a compliment, but to Blythe, now that she was seeing this, it was anything but. She had been ignoring it, denying it to herself, but now that she was actually seeing it, there was no more hiding the truth from herself. She really was becoming like Judi Jo; not just in the accent or the hairstyle, but in the attitude. For the first time since this morning, she saw herself for what she was starting to become.

Zoe was her friend; Minka and Russell were her friends, but looking at this footage, she saw that she was treating them like accessories.

 _Like animals_ , she thought sadly.

Zoe was right when she called Blythe a Judi Jo Jameson wannabe. But to Blythe, she was becoming something even worse than that.

She was becoming a monster.

"Keep it up, Blythe," Mr. Lydecker said with a pat on the shoulder. "You're becoming quite the pageant mom."

Blythe didn't hear what he said; she was so fixated on that image of her yelling at Zoe. Ignoring the fact that someone had somehow managed to film that without her seeing them or potentially catching on to her secret, the image showed a side of Blythe Baxter that she never knew existed.

A side of her that she never wanted to see again.

It was bad enough when she almost became like the Biskit Twins. But this – this was even worse.

And somehow, she had to make it up to Zoe. And Minka, and Russell.

But more importantly, Zoe.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a dog barking. She turned around and saw Princess Stori hurry into the room, Judi Jo and Philippa not far behind.

"Get your fuzzy little butt back here, Princess Story!" Judi Jo yelled. Princess Stori hurried under a table, out of Judi Jo's reach.

She glared at Blythe. "My dog never acted like this until you showed up, you little brat! You've corrupted her!"

Princess Stori poked her head out from under the table and barked – to Judi Jo, at least. To Blythe, she was surprised to hear a boy's voice coming from such a feminine dog.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Judi Jo, and there's nothing you can do to make me!" he barked.

"You're going out there whether you like it or not, you little furball," Judi Jo growled.

Zoe put herself between Princess Stori – she had managed to find her beret, even though Blythe didn't remember where she'd put it – with Minka not far behind. Zoe growled and snarled at Judi Jo, her tail wagging angrily, her teeth and gums bared.

"You call yourself a pageant mom?" Judi Jo scoffed. "You can't even keep your dog from growling at me."

Blythe coughed, clearing her throat, and when she spoke, she was back to using her normal voice and accent. "Sorry, Judi Jo, but I'm not a pageant mom." She ran a hand through her hair, undoing that weird bun and returning it back to its normal style, hanging low down her back. "And Zoe can growl at whoever she wants to." She felt Stori rub against the back of her legs as he cowered behind her. He barked.

"Hey, you can understand us, right? Zoe told me. Tell her I don't want to do this anymore."

"I don't think Princess Stori wants to do this whole pageant thing anymore," Blythe translated.

"Fine!" Judi Jo yelled. "You want to act like a mad dog? Then just go! Run away, then! See if I care! I never liked you anyway!"

 _What a witch,_ Blythe thought.

Judi Jo turned to leave. "Philippa, if you want Princess Stori, help yourself! I'm done with the both of you!" She stormed out of the room.

Stori ran to Philippa and leaped into her arms, happily barking and licking the girl's face.

"You know," Blythe said to Philippa, "witch isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe her, but I think it'll do."

"It'll more than do," Philippa said. She ran a hand through Stori's fur. "It sums her up perfectly. So, what are you going to do now?"

"Get my hedgehog and get the heck out of here," Blythe answered.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Oh, and one more thing. Princess Stori? Yeah, she's a he."

"Not surprised that Judi Jo never bothered to check." She waved to Blythe, then to Zoe and Minka. "Well, guess I'd better get out of here. See you around."

Blythe knelt down next to Zoe and wiped all that makeup from her face. "Zoe, I am so sorry. I got so caught up in trying to beat Judi Jo that I actually became her. I didn't realize it until Mr. Lydecker showed me that video." She patted Zoe on the head. "I know you wanted to come here and have fun with me, and that means a lot. I'm sorry I ruined it."

"Consider yourself forgive," Zoe said. "I don't care about that dumb crown anyway. But there's still time for us to have some fun."

"What did you have in mind?" Minka asked.

Zoe just smiled.

##############################

Philippa decided to give one last interview before leaving.

"Well, like I was saying earlier, I was originally hired to play with Stori and have fun, but we weren't always able to and pageants took up so much of her – I mean, HIS – time. But now that we're no longer associated with Judi Jo, we'll have all the time in the world." She hugged Stori close and gave him a little kiss on the top of the head.

Stori happily barked.

###############################

Russell stood on the stage, along with Sam U. L., Shea Butter, and all the other dogs, minus Zoe and Stori. He felt so out of place, being the only non-dog up here. It was pretty humiliating, actually. No wonder Zoe didn't want to do this anymore.

"Most people that own dogs think that they're just cute little pets that chew things and chase sticks or whatever it is that a regular house dog does," Christopher Lydecker said to the cameras and the audience. "But our contestants are a cut above, second to none. They have poise. They have –" He was cut off by the happy sound of a dog's barks. The camera panned over to see Stori and Zoe running the obstacle course, barking happily, their tails wagging. "Uh, maybe they wanted to, uh, run around and play when they were, uh, just puppies," he continued "but now that they're pageant dogs, they know there's more to life than having fun."

"Oh, nuts to that noise," Shea Butter barked. "Come on, pups, let's go play!" She and the other dogs all scampered off the stage to run the obstacle course with Zoe and Stori.

The only one left on the stage was Russell, who just stood there, looking confused.

"The winner of the Downtown City's _Terriers and Tiaras_ pageants Ultimate Supremest Congeniality Most Photogenic Most Talented Super-Sparkle Grand Supreme Pageant Winner of the Six and Unders is Russell Ferguson!" Christopher announced.

The members of the audience all glanced at each other, before breaking out into applause. A bouquet of dog bones was thrust into Russell's little forelegs, and a gold crown was placed atop his head.

"I don't believe this!" Russell gasped. "You like me! You really like me!"


	21. Lotsa Luck

LOTSA LUCK

"GIVE ME THAT FILLET O' FISH! GIVE ME THAT FISH!"

Pepper Clark smacked her Big Mouth Billy Bass, shutting the thing up. She'd spent the entire morning rearranging her comedy props, and so far, she'd been in the zone, as Zoe liked to call it. But this dumb fish just had to start singing and interrupt her concentration.

At least the interruption didn't last very long or throw off her concentration that much. She quickly got back to what she was doing.

To the average human being, a skunk with a comedy routine would be a very strange thing to see, but not to Pepper, her owners, or her friends. She had been doing this sort of thing since she was a kit, watching sitcoms and comedy movies and sometimes that one show on MTV where the guys would do stupid things and sometimes get themselves hurt – but they looked like they were having so much fun doing it!

Pepper wasn't a stupid skunk; she knew better than to attempt any of that. So she figured she'd stick with comedy props, jokes, and puns. Sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn't, and she recently found out that her shtick with the pistachio pudding had run its course. Of course, that was when she tried her paw at insult comedy, which backfired when she took it too far and made Penny Ling cry.

"Pepper's a bit of a perfectionist, isn't she?" Blythe asked; she and Zoe had been watching Pepper arrange her props in a very specific order for the last five minutes.

"The girl is particular with her comedy props," Zoe agreed.

"I heard that!" Pepper cried. She threw on a pair of joke glasses. "Comedy is serious business!"

Zoe sat down on one of the pet beds; Blythe on the bench. The sixteen year old girl held a clipboard in her hands, containing a list of all the animals that were scheduled to get dropped off at Littlest Pet Shop's Day Camp over the next two weeks.

"It seems a bit of a shame for Pepper to waste her talents on another routine performance," Zoe said.

"She does it because she loves it," Blythe told her. She scanned the list.

"So, is anyone special coming today? Or sometime later this week?"

"Let me see here. Looks like an orangutan named O.B. is stopping by sometime later today," Blythe answered.

Pepper's ear perked up when she heard those initials. _O.B.?_ she thought. _She can't mean…HIM…can she?_

"O.B.?" Zoe repeated. "That's a funny name."

"Oh, wait a minute," Blythe continued, reading off of the list. "It says here that O.B. is short for –"

"OLD BANANAS!" Pepper cried, interrupting her.

"You know this particular ape?" Blythe asked.

Pepper let out a scream of joy. "Old Bananas is coming to Littlest Pet Shop?" She started happily bouncing around the Day Camp room. "YES! YESYESYESYESYESYES YES!"

"She knows him," Blythe and Zoe chuckled together.

"Know him? I'm his biggest fan!" Pepper yelled. "Oh, I have to get ready!" She dove into her box of props. "I can't believe this is happening! Best! Day! EVER!"

"Okay, Pepper, bring it down a notch," Blythe said. "Who's this Old Bananas guy?"

"Who is he?" Pepper repeated. "Well, first off, he's no guy." She reached into her box and pulled out a poster showing a smiling old orangutan, his orange fur groomed professionally and his mouth open in a friendly, toothy grin. "He's only the biggest name in animal comedy!"

"Oh, now I know who you're talking about," Zoe said. "I've seen him on TV once or twice. What was that show called? _My Something-Or-Other_?"

" _That's My Orangutan_!" Pepper corrected her. "They just started running it again on Animal Planet. Wait, you think Old Bananas is coming here because he heard about me? That must be it; he wants to see my act!"

"No offense Pepper, but why would you think your comedy act would impress him more than any other acts he's seen?" Blythe asked.

"O. B. taught me everything I know about comedy," Pepper answered. "I've been watching him since I was a kit. The announcer would always say 'Who's that orangutan?' and the audience – including yours truly – would always respond 'That's my orangutan!' But of course, this was before those dumb moral guardians had the show cancelled due to, as they said, 'imitable acts', and of course they had those dorks from PETA try to shut them down for supposed animal cruelty, but I can assure you Old Bananas was well taken care of."

"Those PETA people are a weird bunch," Zoe mused.

"Well, these are the people who wanted to make it so that fish were called 'sea kittens'," Blythe said. "That was a strange time."

"But nobody could match Old Bananas when it came to the good old fashioned prat fall," Pepper continued, ignoring her two friends. "Or throwing pies or delivering other classic comedy shticks like the knock-knock joke or the electric hand buzzer. I think he got someone in the audience with a whoopee cushion one time. But only once, since we all know fart jokes are the lowest form of comedy."

"Tell that to Vinnie and Sunil," Zoe said dryly. "Remember the incident with the Doberman?"

"You mean the one that wanted to eat Russell?" Pepper asked.

"Hold on, I wasn't there that day," Blythe said. "This needs context."

Pepper continued, ignoring her request. "Lotsa luck. That was his catchphrase. And there isn't one day where I don't think about O. B. and everything I learned from watching him." She let out a content sigh.

"Well now you'll get to meet him," Blythe reminded her.

"And to get the O. B. Lotsa Luck seal of approval? That's the ultimate animal showbiz seal of approval." She climbed out of the box. "Hey Blythe, can you do me a favor? Get the hammock out of the storage room? Old Bananas always napped in a rope hammock on the show."

"Sure."

"Oh, and you'll come and watch my performance for him, right?" Pepper asked as Blythe started to walk away.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," Blythe assured her.

"So, Pepper," Zoe said as Blythe left the room. She started playing with a set of chattering teeth that were on the floor. "Are you sure that O. B. will like the routine you've been working on?"

"Oh my skunky stinky gosh!" Pepper gasped. "It's not nearly good enough!" She dove into her box of props. "I can't just perform for the guy; I've got to shine like a star!"

##################################

Blythe was met with the smell of dust and cobwebs when she opened the storage room door. The light flickered as she flipped the switch, but it was enough for her to at least see where she was going and what she was doing. She knew that they'd put the old hammock back here before – they'd used it when a young chimpanzee named Darwin came to visit for the day – but she didn't exactly remember where.

Then again, it was hard for her to remember exactly what was back here; she didn't come into the storage room all that often, unless she was looking for the toolbox her dad had stashed back here – he liked to come down to the shop and fix the shelves for Mrs. Twombly whenever she asked him to.

There it was, sitting atop an old box and rolled up into a ball. She coughed as the dust fell off of it, covering her clothes, skin, and hair. She shook the hammock, trying to keep it at arm's length so she didn't get any more dust on her, before grabbing the feather duster off of the shelf and running it over some of the boxes the hammock had been sitting on.

Something under the dust caught her eye. She knelt down, setting the hammock on the floor, and using the side of her hand, brushed some more of the dust away.

On the box, written in purple lettering, were the words "Kung Fu Quilting".

"What the huh? What the heck is that?" She opened the box and slowly reached inside, not sure what she would find or what unfriendly critter had probably made the box its home.

She pulled out the first thing she grabbed – a poster with a woman in a Kung Fu pose, standing atop a gorgeous square-patterned quilt.

 _Kung Fu Quilting master Anna T…..Anna T…..Oh my gosh!_

Anna T.

Anna Twombly!

Blythe couldn't believe that someone like Mrs. Twombly was at one time a martial arts master, and yet here she was, holding the evidence! But what if this was just a joke? Some kind of prank? Maybe this poster had been made in Photoshop? After all, anyone could do it; Jasper had shown her how.

She had to find out for herself.

###########################

It was a delicate procedure, setting the Jack In The Box in just the part of the windowsill. Most pets – and even most people – didn't realize that comedy was all about the placement of the props, assuming they weren't stand-ups who just told jokes or played with puppets. And even then, they had to write down their jokes and practice them in order to do them properly.

Being funny was hard work, work that most everyone took for granted.

"Pepper, your perfectionism knows no restraints," Russell complimented her; the little hedgehog had been watching her for some time now.

"Restraint is no virtue in the pursuit of comedy," Pepper said. The Jack In The Box popped, shooting out a boxing glove attached to a string; the boxing glove hit her on the top of the head. "Ow! See that? That's what we call slapstick."

"I'm going to assume you got that first thing you said from someone," Russell guessed.

"Someone that I admire very much and I'm hoping to get a very big Lotsa Luck thumbs-up from the guy very soon," Pepper replied.

"So let me see if I've got the facts here," Russell said. "You think that getting an endorsement from a TV primate you've never met will mean you're a great comedienne?"

Pepper reached into her box and pulled out a rainbow wig and a clown nose, which she quickly put on. "Well when you put it that way it sounds kind of silly."

 _Says the skunk dressed like Bozo the Clown,_ Russell silently snarked.

"But it's not," Pepper continued. She honked the clown nose. "Not at all. I'm gonna get his thumbs-up Lotsa Luck, and then the world will be my toaster!"

"I think the word you're looking for is 'oyster'," Russell corrected her.

"No, I hate seafood," Pepper said, completely missing the point.

###############################

Penny Ling sat on a stool near the front counter of the shop, chewing on a rod of bamboo, when the man in the khaki outfit walked in. He was accompanied by a primate, a large orange ape. His orange fur was pretty dark, the only light part being the area under his chin, which was part of his old, wrinkling face. His green eyes were set into deep sockets, and his impossibly long arms dragged along the ground.

"I see we have a celebrity with us today," Mrs. Twombly said. "Old Bananas himself." The orangutan hooted and hollered, pointing to the door leading to the Day Camp. "And so talkative, too." She gestured to the door. "Back there is Day Camp. You're going to just love it, Old Bananas, or I'll be a monkey's uncle." She laughed at her own joke, but stopped when she saw Old Bananas roll his eyes.

"Sorry," the ape's caretaker said. "He finds that joke a bit insulting; kind of bums him out."

"Oh my, I am so sorry," Mrs. Twombly apologized. Old Bananas gave one last hoot before moving away, his knuckles dragging against the carpeted floor of the pet shop. "That's right, O. B. Just follow Penny Ling back to the Day Camp. Have fun."

Penny Ling swallowed the last of the bamboo in her mouth and hopped down from the stool. "Mr. O. B., we have someone here who's your biggest fan!"

Old Bananas rolled his eyes. "Haven't heard that one before," he said with a gruff voice.

"Her name is Pepper," Penny Ling continued. "And she's the funniest skunk I know."

"Funny, huh?" Old Bananas asked. "Well, I'll be the judge of that."

Penny Ling led Old Bananas to the Day Camp.

################################

Pepper threw the lid off of a small cardboard box, procuring yet another rubber chicken. The other pets all rolled their eyes; they'd seen the rubber chicken gag done so many times that it just stopped being funny.

"This rubber chicken's fresh out of the box," Pepper said as she hoisted the chicken out of the box, "so let me beak it in." No one laughed, except her. "See what I did there?" she asked. "I said 'beak it in' instead of 'break it in', because it's a chicken, and it has a beak, so….Yeah. Okay, let's try this." She reached into her box of props, pulling out a small desk and a drawing of a road. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" She squeezed the chicken, making it lay a rubber egg right on the yellow line. "To lay it on the line!" Again, she was the only one who laughed.

"You know, until now, I never considered the chicken's motivations," Sunil said.

"Yeah, it explains a heck of a lot," Vinnie agreed.

"You guys, it's a joke, not a discussion about existentialism or anything like that," Pepper said.

The sound of sarcastic clapping came from the back of the room. The pets all turned to look. Pepper's jaw dropped due to the surprise of it all; the rubber chicken fell from her paws. Standing there, in the back of the room, slowly and sarcastically clapping his old, wrinkly hands, was an old orangutan.

An old orangutan who said only one word.

"Ha."

Pepper couldn't believe her own two eyes.

Old Bananas had seen her act!

"I – I didn't know he was watching me rehearse!" she cried to Russell.

Old Bananas slowly approached her. "And if you had, you might have been funny?" he asked gruffly. "Because I can tell you one mistake you made up there, and that was explaining your jokes. I heard on another TV show once that if you have to explain the joke, then there is no joke."

Pepper had nothing to say; she could do nothing but just stare at the old ape.

"Oh, Mr. O. B.!" Russell cried. "We and our very funny friend here Pepper weren't expecting you so soon."

"No, we weren't," Pepper agreed. She was trying to put on a brave face, but she couldn't help but feel completely flustered, now that her comedy icon was looking her right in the eye. "You, uh, actually caught me during rehearsal."

"Sure, sure," Old Bananas grumbled.

"I just can't believe you're really here, Mr. Old Bananas, sir!" Pepper squeaked.

"So your name's Pepe?" Old Bananas asked her.

"Pepper, actually," Russell corrected him.

"I know what I said, little porcupine."

"Yeah, I'm Pepper," Pepper said. "Or Pepe, or Peppi, or whatever you want to call me, your comedyship. So honored to meet you, sir, Mr. Primate, sir."

"The teddy bear tells me you're funny, Papa," Old Bananas said. He moved closer to Pepper, scrutinizing her. "We'll see about that." A wide grin spread across his primate face, and he turned to the rest of the pets. "Alright, pets of Littlest Pet Shop! Who's your orangutan?"

"That's my orangutan!" the other pets cheered.

"You know it," Old Bananas said proudly. He reached into his little satchel he had slung across his shoulder and pulled out a stack of photographs. The photographs went flying as he lost his grip on them. "Whoops. What a klutz I am."

"Well, nobody's perfect," Russell said.

"Give him a second," Pepper said softly.

With a surprisingly graceful cartwheel, Old Bananas grabbed the falling photographs in his feet and transferred them to his hands. The other pets cheered as he handed them a photograph.

"A souvenir, autographed personally by yours truly." Each picture was stamped with a little pawprint in the corner. The pets cheered as Old Bananas flashed a wide, toothy grin.

He turned to Pepper. "Hey Papi, toss that chicken over here." Pepper threw the chicken to Old Bananas; he easily caught it without even looking, and squeezed it between his two massive hands, making it squeak. "How long do chickens work?" he asked the other pets. They just looked at each other, confused.

Old Bananas grinned before delivering the punchline. "Around the cluck." The other pets all laughed –

Except for Russell, who smacked a paw against his face. _That was a terrible pun, even by Pepper's standards._

Old Bananas squeaked the chicken again, getting the other pets' attention. "Why did the chicken cross the road twice? Because he was a double-crosser!"

 _I can't decide if that pun was just as bad or even worse than the last one_ , Russell thought as the other pets laughed.

"Hey, what does a chicken and a grape have in common? They're both purple…except the chicken." Once again, the other pets laughed.

 _Okay, that one physically hurt,_ Russell silently critiqued, and yet there the other pets were, laughing and guffawing, with Sunil and Vinnie rolling on the floor and tears coming from Minka's eyes.

"He's so much funnier in person," Penny Ling mused.

"Yeah, he's killing me," Vinnie said between laughs.

Old Bananas joined Pepper at the windowsill. "And that's how it's done, Petey."

"Looks like someone's quite a hit," Russell mused as the other pets followed Old Bananas to the hammock Blythe had set up earlier.

"Yeah, a hit," Pepper breathed. She just stared at the old ape, wondering how she could ever get someone like that to laugh at her jokes and antics.

##############################

Blythe wasn't sure if she should ask Mrs. Twombly about that Kung Fu Quilting thing she found in the storage room, so she decided to look it up first. But not before calling Youngmee over to tell her about it.

Youngmee joined Blythe in her room as Blythe scoured the Internet. She'd gone to Google, Ask, Wikipedia, and even a martial arts website, and so far, they'd all had similar, if not almost identical, articles about Kung Fu Quilting. That was too much of a coincidence; that meant that it had to be the truth.

"Youngmee, check this out," Blythe called to her friend. "I found this old poster in the pet shop's storage room, so I did a little research, and I found this out about Mrs. Twombly." She moved out of the way to show Youngmee the website.

"Kung Fu Quilting? What the heck is that?" Youngmee asked.

"It's a combination of quilting skills performed with simultaneous kung fu action," Blythe explained. She scrolled down the page, going past various people from all around the world participating in the event.

"Yeah, okay, so what does this have to do with Mrs. Twombly?" Youngmee asked.

Blythe read off of the site. "There was once an amazing woman who was not only the inventor of Kung Fu Quilting, she was its sole world class practitioner. She took her novelty act on the road to global acclaim."

"That still doesn't tell me what –" Youngmee began to say. She stopped when the page came to a woman with short brown hair and a build very similar to Mrs. Twombly.

The name under the picture read "Anna Twombly".

"That's just crazy," Youngmee breathed.

"I can't believe she never mentioned anything about this before," Blythe gasped. She printed the article and subsequent picture. There was so much she wanted to know about this, and what better way to get the information she was looking for than to go right to the source. She had to know how Mrs. Twombly came up with something so unique, and why she decided to hang it up. From what the article told the girls, Anna Twombly was on top of the world during the height of Kung Fu Quilting's popularity.

############################

Pepper had spent the last however long trying to get even a grin out of Old Bananas, but nothing she did seemed to work. She tried her best knock-knock jokes, told the funniest stories she could think of – including one where her owner's dad was pulled out to sea after catching a sea turtle on a fishing line – and a slapstick routine, but the old primate still barely even smirked.

"That O. B. is a tough nut to crack," Russell said. "You've been working your stinky tail off, and he still hasn't so much as giggled at you."

"Yeah," Pepper said softly. "What's the use of performing for him? He doesn't think I'm funny. I'm barely worth a chuckle to him."

"Well, did you really think Old Bananas would be just like he was on television?" Russell asked.

"Of course! TV's all facts all the time!" Pepper shot back.

Russell just stared at her. "Uh huh, sure. Well, Old Bananas is just like anyone else, and there isn't anyone in Downtown City that you can't entertain, right?"

Pepper finally smiled after several minutes of pouting. "Yeah, you're right. I can make anyone laugh. Why should he be any different? I am going to crack that nut! Just call me Pepper 'The Nutcracker' Clark! I'm going to win him over, and you, Russell, are going to be my stage partner."

"Wait, what?" Russell asked. "I never agreed to that!"

###############################

Blythe hurried through the doors to the pet shop, the web article she'd printed out held firmly in her hand. "Mrs. Twombly! Mrs. Twombly! I have to ask you about something."

"What is it, Blythe?"

"Is it true that you invented Kung Fu Quilting?" Blythe asked as she held up the poster she'd found in the storage room earlier.

Mrs. Twombly let out a quiet sigh. "I suppose everything winds up online sooner or later," she lamented.

"It says that you were the creator and the world class champion," Blythe said.

"The key word in that last sentence being 'were'," Mrs. Twombly said. "Really, Blythe, all of that should stay in the past where it belongs."

"But Mrs. Twombly," Blythe pleaded. "It –"

"Was nothing," Mrs Twombly said firmly, interrupting her. The phone started to ring. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take this phone call."

Blythe watched as the older woman walked around the counter to pick up the phone. She was so sure that Mrs. Twombly would want to talk about this, so why was she avoiding the subject? Did something happen back then to make her never want to speak about it again? Or did she never even want to do it to begin with? Was she pressured to create Kung Fu Quilting? Was that why she didn't want to talk about it?

No, that couldn't be the reason. There was more to it.

And Blythe was determined to figure out what that was.

#############################

Pepper rode on her unicycle, balancing a bowling pin in one paw, an avocado pie in the other. Most of the other pets were watching, but Old Bananas was still reclining in his hammock, his eyes half open.

"Sometimes I feel like a bowling pin," Pepper said, starting off another joke, "and at other times I feel like a –"

"Pippy!" Old Bananas called, throwing off her concentration. "Mind your props!"

Pepper leaned forward and back, left and right, trying to stay balanced on the single wheeled cycle while also trying not to lose her grip on her props. But try as she might, it was to no avail; she fell off the unicycle, the bowling pin smacking her on the head and her face going right into the avocado pie.

Russell climbed up onto the windowsill and handed Pepper a tissue. "You were right; he IS a tough nut to crack," Pepper said as she wiped herself down.

"Either that or he's just a plain old nut," Russell said.

"Quiet, you!" Pepper chattered. "He's a showbiz legend! If he says I need to mind my props, then maybe I do." She let out a sigh.

Who was she trying to fool, herself? Old Bananas didn't think she was funny, and the other pets barely laughed at her jokes and slapstick anymore. Maybe, like Blythe had told her once, she was starting to become stale and needed to find a new shtick, but the last time that happened, she nearly ruined her friendship with Penny Ling.

Pepper pushed those thoughts aside. She was going to make Old Bananas laugh before he left today, even if it was the last thing she did.

##############################

The outside windows of the pet shop needed some cleaning, so while Blythe was upstairs doing her homework, Anna decided to grab a bucket and a squeegee. She ran the wet cloth over the window, the rubber part on the other side wiping the soapy water away, leaving shining glass behind.

The door to the apartment complex next door opened, and Blythe stepped out.

"I just need to ask you one more thing, Mrs. Twombly."

"What's that?"

"How did you do it?"

"It was pretty easy," Anna answered. "I just sprayed that part of the window and then ran the squeegee over it."

"No, no, not that," Blythe said. "I mean, how did you come up with combining quilting with martial arts?"

Anna rolled her eyes; Blythe was still on that, wasn't she? _Well,_ she thought, _I suppose I'll have to talk about it. I really don't want to, but if it'll make her happy…._

"Well," she started, "it all began due to a pretty bad stomachache. The doctor said to lay flat for two weeks. Turns out he was a complete hack, but I didn't know that at the time, so I followed his advice. But do you have any idea what it's like to lie in bed for two weeks straight, only getting up so you can go to the bathroom? It's BORING! I had to do something to keep busy." She pulled a spool of thread and a needle out of her pocket and threaded the needle; then she pulled a stack of colored cloths out of her cleaning bag. "So I decided to take up quilting." She tossed the colored cloths into the air. "But that wasn't enough either, not by itself anyway." Her arms moved, so fast Blythe could barely keep up with them, and when Anna stopped, she was holding a perfectly threaded line of square cloths, the start of a brand new quilt. "So while laid up, I started watching those Bruce Lee kung fu movies from over in China." She pulled more cloths out of the bag and started to stitch them together as she talked. "I loved the leg work, so as I was quilting, one day I got the urge to mix them together. I didn't think much about it at first." She opened up the cloths she had been stitching together, revealing a masterfully knitted quilt, which she held by one corner with her free hand, and the other corner with her toes. "I just did what came naturally to me. Here you go, Blythe – you can have this one." She handed the quilt over to Blythe, who was grinning like a kid at Christmas, watching Anna move and perform.

Anna pointed to a tiny green leaf stuck in one of the bricks near the top floor. "See that leaf all the way up there?"

Blythe squinted her eyes to get a better view. "Oh yeah. What about it?"

With a swift kick, Anna sent the squeegee flying up towards the leaf. The very tip of the squeegee touched the leaf; this was enough to dislodge it and send it gently floating to the ground below. Anna caught the squeegee as it fell, the leaf a few seconds later.

Blythe's innocent blue eyes were wide with surprise and awe.

"Well, I'd say you still got it, Mrs. Twombly," she complimented the older woman.

"Thank you for the kind words, dear, but what I can still do is nothing compared to my prime almost forty years ago," Anna said. "That was during the time of my Kung Fu Quilting mastery."

"I know; I read all about it on that site, . But that still doesn't answer one question: Why did you quit?"

"Well, things like that aren't always sunshine and peanut butter, Blythe," Anna answered. "Others started taking up the art, and soon, I had challengers to my title of Kung Fu Quilting Champion. There's something about a challenge that gets a person so excited and worked up. I thrived on it. But I didn't do it just for me; I turned each match into a benefit for a local charity. But then there was one more challenge, and even though I beat him, I ended up tearing my Achilles tendon."

"Ouch," Blythe winced.

"So I decided it was time to call it quits," Anna continued. "That was March 31, 1981."

"Wasn't that the day Ronald Reagan got shot?" Blythe asked.

"And you wouldn't believe how surprised I was to hear that my retirement announcement overshadowed that," Anna answered. "Normally people go ape when a President is almost killed. Who'd have thought that my retirement would have such an effect like that? But after that, no one ever wanted to hear about Kung Fu Quilting again."

"So that's why you didn't want to talk about it," Blythe guessed. "But how could you just walk away from all that?"

"Some things you just can't control," Anna said as she gathered up her cleaning supplies. "And like I said earlier, all that is in the past."

##############################

Old Bananas had joined the pets, at last, but while the other pets were smiling and showing their support for Pepper, O. B. looked bored out of his orangutan mind. The skunk poked her head out from behind her box of props, seeing Old Bananas scratching under his arm as the pets waited for her to begin her act, with Russell giving a drum roll on a little toy drum she'd found – his role was to provide the drum roll and the rimshots after every punchline.

Pepper counted down from five, then leaped out from behind the box.

"Welcome friends! And honored guest. Glad you could make it on such a gorgeous day. And look at this." Using her tail, she pulled out the umbrella she'd had hidden behind her back. "I've got just the thing for a hot day like this one." She held the umbrella over her head and opened it up, dousing herself with the water she'd filled it with earlier. "Instant shower!"

She was expecting the rimshot, but instead, all she got was Sunil coughing nervously. She glanced over to Russell. "That's your cue, drummer boy," she quietly said.

Russell did the rimshot, but because his timing was way off, the joke had been ruined. Didn't he know that timing was everything when it came to comedy? If a comedienne couldn't afford to be off by even a fraction of a second; that small amount of time could mean the difference between an audience bursting into laughter and applause or an audience that just stared at her like the five headed circus freak.

 _One joke down, ninety-six more to go,_ she silently told herself. She tossed the umbrella aside, hitting Russell on the head.

"Ow! Watch where you're throwing those things!" he cried.

Pepper didn't hear him; she was too busy setting up the next part of her act, which involved going bowling with a banana provided by Minka. The banana splattered against one of the pins despite still knocking it over. What was left of the banana landed between the two remaining pins.

"I call it a banana split!" she cheered.

There was still no reaction from Old Bananas or the other pets.

Pepper dug into the box, procuring one of her joke squirt flowers, which she pinned to the fur on her chest. She wasted no time in squeezing the control for the water, spraying Old Bananas in the face. He still just glared at her, looking bored and annoyed and now smelling like a wet ape.

Pepper was starting to get desperate. She tried riding her unicycle while honking a toy horn, but this just resulted in her falling flat on her face; even then, that was part of the act, and while it usually got the other pets to laugh, O. B. was too busy flipping through a book he'd borrowed from Russell earlier.

Her desperation was growing. She wanted – no, she _needed_ – to get this ape to at least smile at her antics. The gag arrow wasn't cutting it; he just spent the entire time picking fleas out of Sunil's fur, with Minka giving him a grooming at the same time. The other pets were also looking very bored and annoyed. They knew Pepper was better than this.

Pepper knew that as well, but she had never felt such desperation before. She needed to get Old Bananas to laugh.

So she decided to try everything she could think of at once. Blowing a bagpipe while wearing the joke glasses; juggling her bouncy balls; pretending to use her wagon as a rowboat; throwing Zoe a bone that her owner had modeled after one of those vibrating Bumble Ball things.

She tried so many things, everything she could think of, but the only result – besides Old Bananas actually falling asleep – was her tiring herself out.

This was getting ridiculous! How was she supposed to prove to him that she was funny if he wasn't even paying attention to her? She knew that comedy was a subjective matter, meaning that different pets and people found different things funny, but Old Bananas' humor – which Pepper based her own jokes and antics on – was supposed to be universally adored, wasn't it? So why was he not even cracking a smile at his own jokes?

Sunil shook O. B.'s arm, waking him up. The old ape wasted no time in resting his head on his hand, looking incredibly bored and tired.

Pepper sighed; she was running out of ideas.

#################################

There was more to this than Mrs. Twombly was letting on, Blythe was sure of it. Sure, she had explained about her history with Kung Fu Quilting earlier, but when it came to why she quit….That explanation about a torn tendon couldn't have been the whole story.

"Mrs. Twombly, can you explain something to me?" she asked the older woman.

"Okay, how about Einstein's Theory of Relativity?" Mrs. Twombly suggested. "That's always fun."

"No, not how long it would take for a heavy object to reach deep space while moving at light speed," Blythe said. "I want to know how you could be on top of the world and then just give it all up?"

"Simple: Those Achilles tendon injuries hurt like nothing else."

"Yeah, but it healed, or you wouldn't be walking around today. What about after that? There was nothing stopping you from going back, was there?"

"Well, no denying I was good at Kung Fu Quilting."

"Good?" Blythe shouted. "You were better than good! You were the queen! The best! The sport's creator!"

"True, but the moment I opened Littlest Pet Shop, I knew that I had found my true calling. I might have been famous, sure, but fame doesn't equal happiness. I don't need to do Kung Fu Quilting anymore, because, well, I've already done it."

"Well, I'd like to learn it," Blythe said. "And I bet my friends would, too. I've already told Youngmee about it, and Sue's a big sport nut, so she'll probably enjoy it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Oh, do you have the time?"

"Uh, 2:30?"

"Shoot, I'm running late." She hurried back to the Day Camp.

Blythe quietly opened the door – she didn't want to disturb Pepper – and made her way past the other pets to sit next to Penny Ling. "What'd I miss?" she asked the little panda cub.

"Pepper's gone through all her props," Penny Ling answered.

 _She's not kidding,_ Blythe silently observed; all of Pepper's comedy props – the air horns, the singing fish, the gag arrows, the bowling pins, the joke flowers, the electric hand buzzer, the rubber chicken, and the chattering teeth – were stacked as high as they could be in Pepper's little wagon.

"She hasn't had much success," Penny Ling continued. "Old Bananas hasn't even cracked a smile at her."

"He must be one tough nut to crack."

Pepper wiped some sweat from her forehead. She was exhausted, physically and mentally, having gone through all her props and jokes. At this rate, Old Bananas was never going to laugh at her.

But then she saw Blythe. If there was one creature in this world, be it pet or otherwise, who could help her get through this and finally make O. B. laugh, it was her best human friend. Blythe smiled sweetly and flashed Pepper a supportive thumbs-up.

Pepper took a deep breath, having caught her second wind.

It was time to end the comedy act, hopefully with a laugh from Old Bananas this time.

"Hey," she started. "Have you ever seen the way someone walks when they have an itch in a place where they can't reach it?" She saw Blythe and the other pets – minus O. B., of course – all grin and smile.

 _It's amazing how a subject just about everyone knows about can be the basis for a comedy act,_ Pepper thought. She started walking across the makeshift stage, but her walk was stilted and jittery, as she was trying to imitate someone with an itch in an unreachable place. She heard Blythe start to laugh, the other pets following her a second later.

She was glad to finally get some laughs, but she couldn't let that distract her. Continuing with the act, she used a cat's scratching post as a backscratcher, but this resulted in her being flung off the thing and slamming against the wall, resulting in more laughter from her audience.

She took a peek. Old Bananas still wasn't laughing – he wasn't even grinning – but at least he looked interested this time, even if he was chewing on one of Minka's bananas.

 _It's a start._ She took Russell from his little drum set and used him as a backscratcher; of course, it was all still part of the act. And she was glad to hear Blythe and the other pets laughing harder than they'd ever laughed before; that was what a comedienne lived for.

Old Bananas popped the last of the banana into his mouth as Pepper dropped Russell and grabbed the wagon with her paw. "Thank you! Thank you!" She took a bow, then began walking across the windowsill-stage.

O. B. threw the banana peel in Pepper's path. This didn't go unnoticed.

"Oldest trick in the book," Pepper chuckled. She stepped over the banana peel –

But forgot about her wagon. The wheel slipped on the peel, and her props went flying out of the wagon, off the little makeshift stage –

And buried Old Bananas.

Old Bananas dug himself free; one of the gag arrows was placed on his head, he had the joke glasses attached to his face, and a set of chattering teeth was in his mouth, chattering away.

"In the words of Old Bananas himself, HA!" Pepper cheered. The other pets laughed and applauded.

Old Bananas spit the chattering teeth out of his mouth and removed the rest of the joke props. He stared at Pepper for what felt like an eternity, his old brown eyes seeming to bore their way into her soul.

And then it happened, the one thing Pepper was hoping for but started to think was an impossibility.

Old Bananas was laughing.

"Now THAT'S minding your props, Pee-Wee!" he laughed. "Take another bow. I'd say you've earned it."

The old orangutan had no idea how happy Pepper was to hear that. It had been her dream to perform for her comedy idol, and now here she was, getting the recognition she'd hoped she'd get from the ape himself. She bowed as the other pets laughed and applauded, closing her eyes so no one saw the tears of joy that were starting to form.

Old Bananas walked up to Pepper and put one of his massive hands around her. "Look at this. Pepe le Pew here thinks I taught her everything she knows. And now here she is, funnier than me."

"Wait, what?" Pepper asked, confused. "I thought you were disappointed in me. I couldn't get you to laugh for….How long have you been here now? I hate not being able to tell time sometimes."

Old Bananas gave her a gentle pat on her little skunk shoulders. "That was all an act, to prepare you for the rigors of show business. You'll get people who will laugh at every little thing you do, and you'll get people who are unpleasable no matter what. Remember, comedy is a subjective matter, probably the most subjective matter in the world. What could be funny for one person might be boring for the other. You need to get a read on your audience and adjust your act accordingly. It took you some time, but you managed to do it."

"Only because my friend Blythe was here," Pepper said. She waved a paw at Blythe, who waved back.

"And that gave you your second wind, didn't it? Don't feel bad; all comedians go through it. And that second wind was enough to bring the house down, so in my opinion, Pepper, you're ready for the big leagues."

Pepper gasped. "You know my name!"

"I knew it the moment I walked through the door," Old Bananas said. "And I've been laughing the entire time, but, well, you know."

"Yeah, it was all an act."

There was a knock on the window. A tall man in a khaki outfit was waving to Old Bananas. "That's my caretaker. Guess it's time to head off. But one last thing before I go, Pepper." He flashed her a giant smile and an enthusiastic thumbs-up. "Lotsa Luck!"

Pepper's jaw dropped as she watched Old Bananas leave the Day Camp. _I have lived,_ she thought. _I. Have. Lived._

"So," Russell said, bringing her back to reality. "How does it feel now that you've gotten O. B.'s official seal of approval?"

"It's a great feeling," Pepper answered. "But not as great as getting a laugh out of all of my friends."

###########################

Anna had dug out her old kung fu gi, plus four more for Blythe and her friends. It felt good to be wearing it after more than thirty years, and surprisingly, it still fit perfectly. And if she were being honest with herself, Blythe and her three friends looked good in their own gis.

"Here we go, kids."

Blythe, Sue, Jasper, and Youngmee each held an unfinished quilt in their hands. The four of them started threading the needle through the squares as Anna started the lesson.

"Kick and stitch," Anna said in a very rhythmic fashion. "Kick and stitch. Keep up that method. Jasper, try not to kick Sue now."

Blythe glanced over to the window of the Day Camp. The pets were watching them. Pepper flashed her her best thumbs-up – something that was hard for a skunk to do, considering that they lacked actual thumbs – and Blythe heard her say two words through the glass.

"Lotsa Luck!"


	22. Door-Jammed

DOOR JAMMED

ANNA TWOMBLY WATCHED THE BID CLOCK ON THE EBAY AUCTION CLOSELY. There were only thirty seconds left to place a bid on a shining, golden doorknob that – according to the certificate of authenticity next to the doorknob in the picture – was turned by Abraham Lincoln himself when he entered the Oval Office on his first official day as President on March 4, 1861.

Anna didn't like to place a bid and wait to see if someone else bid higher than her; that was monotonous and boring in her eyes. She preferred a technique eBay shoppers used known as "sniping" – waiting until the last minute before placing the highest bid on an item. And with only ten seconds left, she felt the anticipation coursing through her veins as her finger hovered over the mouse button, ready to click the bid button.

 _I can't wait to hold you in my hands and turn you_. She watched the clock count down from five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

Her finger pressed the button.

One.

The bidding was over.

Anna cheered; that doorknob may as well have been in her hands right at this very moment.

There was just one small problem: She had been outbid.

"Impossible!" she cried. "Who? Who would dare to outbid the Queen of the Snipe?" She checked the username: FBLeps123$.

She recognized that username; she'd seen it on here before.

It was the username of none other than her business rival, Fisher Biskit.

"NO!"

##########################

The werewolf in the movie howled, causing the blood in Vinnie and Sunil's veins to run cold, even though Vinnie was already cold-blooded. _An American Werewolf in London_ was one of their favorite horror movies, even though it scared the living daylights out of them and left them a frightened, screaming mess, much to the annoyance of the other pets.

The howl in the movie sounded different than normal. It sounded…real, like it was coming from somewhere close by. That couldn't be right; this was only a movie.

Vinnie muted the television. The howl continued.

It wasn't coming from the movie.

The howl was coming from inside Littlest Pet Shop!

###########################

Anna could only stare at the computer screen in disbelief. That doorknob was supposed to be hers; she'd had her eyes set on it for the last three days, ever since the bidding began. Who was Fisher Biskit to deny her another valuable addition to her collection? Even worse, she considered herself the Queen of the Snipe, and here he was sniping her!

She closed the computer and let out a sad sigh. There was nothing she could do about it now; the bidding was over, and chances were that the doorknob was already on his way to the Biskit mansion.

 _At least that Biskit Billionaire has the money to properly take care of it_ , she silently lamented. She couldn't help but imagine a highly trained team of bodyguards and Secret Service protecting the doorknob with laser security cages and ninjas. _No, ninjas would be too silly. Then again, he's got the money to hire ninjas if he wanted to._

"Be safe, my precious."

###########################

"Yes, Youngmee," Blythe said into her phone as she walked down the sidewalk. "That's what she said, when she said it, and how she said it. Trust me, I was there." She stopped walking as a long black limousine went speeding past. It looked familiar somehow, but she couldn't exactly place it.

That all changed when Whittany and Brittany Biskit climbed out of the car.

 _And of all the people in the city they had to drive past, it had to be me,_ Blythe thought glumly.

"This is, like, the most totally unfair thing ever!" Whittany cried to whoever else was in the car.

"She's, like, right," Brittany agreed as she slammed the door shut.

The voice of their father, Fisher Biskit, came from the backseat. "These are the last of the flyers for our open house," he said. He dropped a large bag out of the window; the bag was overflowing with rolled up posters. "You _will_ pass them out if you want your $200 per week allowance."

"But Daddy, that's, like, work," Brittany whined.

"If you want to earn your keep, you're going to have to work for it sometimes," Mr. Biskit replied. "I'll see you at home.

The twins watched as the car drove off.

 _Don't look at me,_ Blythe silently pleaded. _Don't look at me, don't look at me, don't look at me!_

The twins looked at her.

"Pretending you have friends again, Blythe?" Whittany asked snidely. "Tragic."

"Don't you know it's rude to interrupt someone when they're on the phone?" Blythe shot back.

Brittany shut the phone off. "You can talk to your imaginary friend after you get done doing something for us." She shoved the bag into Blythe's arms, nearly knocking her to the ground; she wasn't expecting it to be so heavy. "We're supposed to, like, pass these dumb things out."

"But something like that is so totally beneath us," Whittany added.

"I am not going to do your job for you!" Blythe growled. She shoved the bag into Whittany's arms.

"You don't have, like, a choice," Whittany said. She shoved the bag back into Blythe's arms, this time knocking her to the ground. "Have fun."

Blythe glowered at the twins as they walked off; she could hear them laughing at her.

 _Laugh it up, you little witches,_ Blythe thought as she stood up. _Laugh it up._

There was no way she was going to hand all these flyers out; that wasn't her job. But that was just like the twins, pawning any kind of work, no matter how hard, onto someone else – usually Blythe and her friends. They had no right to do that; their father had given them this task. Blythe had only met Mr. Biskit once or twice, but she could tell that he valued hard work over anything else.

And really, why shouldn't he? There was no doubt in her mind that he got where he was because he had been working as hard as he could his entire life. Largest Ever Pet Shop was Littlest Pet Shop's biggest rival – the only rival, really – but Blythe could at least respect the man's work ethic.

Grumbling softly under her breath, she hefted the heavy bag into her arms and walked across the street to the pet shop.

It was only a few yards, but with as heavy as this bag was, those few yards felt like a few miles. She was glad the doors opened inward; all she had to do was push on the door and walk through the threshold. The air conditioning was on, cooling the sweat that was forming under her bangs, and when she reached the front counter – where Mrs. Twombly was staring longingly at something on her computer – she dropped the bag and took a few seconds to catch her breath.

"Hi, Mrs. Twombly," she panted.

"What's in that unusually large bag, Blythe?" Mrs. Twombly asked.

Blythe reached into the bag and pulled out one of the nearly two thousand posters. "Looks like flyers for Fisher Biskit's open house."

Just hearing that name made Anna's blood boil. "Fisher Biskit," she hissed under her breath.

"You say something?" Blythe asked.

"Nothing, nothing," Mrs. Twombly lied.

Blythe glanced at the poster again. "It looks like Mr. Biskit is having some kind of social event at his mansion. He's opening his doors for one day and one day only to share his rare art collection with the masses." She yelped as Mrs. Twombly slammed a fist down on the counter. "YAH! So out of character!"

"Blythe," Mrs. Twombly said, a stern look on her face. "I want to be one of those masses."

"Well, we've got two thousand invites. One of them should get us through the door."

Mrs. Twombly turned the computer around, showing Blythe a picture of a golden doorknob. "I'm sure the highlight will be the unveiling of this beautiful doorknob."

Blythe had to roll her eyes. Mrs. Twombly was a kind, sweet old lady, and Blythe loved that about her, but the woman's doorknob collection was probably the strangest thing Blythe had ever seen or heard of. She'd heard of people collecting stuffed animals, action figures, playing cards, stamps, bottle caps, and even buttons, but Mrs. Twombly was probably the only person she could think of who collected doorknobs.

"You…sure about that?"

"I'm one hundred percent positive," Mrs. Twombly answered.

"Well, I know how much you love your doorknobs, so if it really means that much to you, I guess I can tag along," Blythe suggested.

"I would love that, dear."

#####################

There were no flights scheduled for at least another two weeks, so Roger decided to put his handyman skills to work. After all, Mrs. Twombly had been asking him to help her fix some shelves around the pet shop, and so, with toolbox in hand, he left the apartment complex and walked the five feet to Littlest Pet Shop.

The first thing he saw was Blythe and Mrs. Twombly coming down the stairs from the higher level, dressed in their best social outfits – Blythe in a gorgeous light green dress, with her hair done up in a small beehive bun, and Mrs. Twombly in a long, maroon and magenta dress, matching sun hat, and pink fluffy boa scarf.

"You two look like you just jumped out of a catalogue from Dress Barn," Roger complimented them. "Can you tell me who designed today's ensemble?"

"That would be whoever owns the Dress Barn down on Grove," Blythe answered. "And if you're wondering, Dad, no, I didn't help Mrs. Twombly out with her outfit. That's all her."

"Well, it's not every day that you come face to face with the doorknob of your dreams," Mrs. Twombly said as she walked to the door.

"Well, don't you worry about a thing while you're gone, Anna," Roger said. He pulled a hammer out of his toolbox. "The Rog will take good care of the shop. After all, there are some things here that you've said need some fixing, and I'm a fixer."

"Okay, Dad, just don't hurt yourself," Blythe said. She joined Mrs. Twombly at the door.

Roger smugly tossed his hammer up and down, catching it with every toss. "Blythe!" he gasped, feigning offense. "How could you say that?" He missed the next hammer toss, resulting in the hammer landing right on his foot.

 _Kind of like that,_ Blythe thought. Her father grimaced, trying to hide the pain he was feeling in his foot. "We'll see you later, Dad."

Roger waited until the two ladies were out of earshot, before letting out a howl of agony.

##############################

Vinnie shut the television off as the howl erupted again. It filled the air, sending chills down his and Sunil's little spines.

Vinnie shivered with fright. "I'd hate to ask you if you heard that, Sunil, because I don't want to know the answer."

"I'm telling you anyway," Sunil said, his voice shaking with fright. He grabbed Vinnie, pulling the little gecko close.

Vinnie pulled himself out of Sunil's paws. "I don't remember saying that was okay."

A new sound filled the air, a deep rumbling growl. Vinnie and Sunil moved closer to each other, their eyes darting across the room. That growl was close, so close that it was making their skin crawl.

The two friends grabbed each other. "But if it'll make you feel better!" Vinnie cried. They looked around, spotting Russell's shadow on the wall, not seeing the actual hedgehog himself. Russell's mouth opened; it looked like a yawn, but Vinnie and Sunil instead heard a deep rumbling growl.

To the two of them, that could only mean one thing.

"WEREWOLF!" Vinnie cried. He and Sunil pulled the pillows of the pet beds they'd been sitting in over their heads, hiding from Russell.

Russell didn't even realize he'd been walking past a flashlight until he saw his shadow on the wall thanks to the light. He clicked the light off and stopped when he heard a deep rumble coming from his stomach. He wasn't hungry; he'd just eaten a batch of kibble a few minutes ago.

"I don't know what was in that kibble, but it's giving me indigestion," he mused.

Vinnie and Sunil continued to cower beneath their pillows.

"The hair," Sunil muttered. "The long claws, the fangs, the bad breath…."

The two of them screamed in horror. "RUSSELL'S A WEREWOLF!"

They peeked out over their pillows again; spotted Russell dealing out a deck of cards between him and Zoe. How had they not seen it before? It had been right under their noses the entire time, and they never noticed until just now. Russell looked exactly like the monster they'd seen in their movie, only as a hedgehog instead of a humanoid.

"He's just biding his time," Sunil whimpered. "Waiting for his chance to chew on mongoose flesh!"

"We've got to act fast if we don't want to be a snack," Vinnie said, smacking his pads together. He reached under his pillow, pulling out a string of garlic bulbs. "This should keep him back. You got that mirror ready?"

Sunil held up the mirror; he'd borrowed it from Zoe earlier today for a magic trick he was practicing, and had intended to give it back to her before their owners came to pick them up, but now, it would serve a better purpose.

"When he doesn't see his reflection, we'll know for sure that he's a werewolf."

Slowly, they crawled up from their pet beds and made their way over to Russell, who had just started playing a card game with Zoe.

"Got any hearts?" Russell asked.

"Go fish," Zoe answered.

As Russell reached to pick up a card, Vinnie approached, shoving the garlic into his face. Russell chattered in confusion as he backed away, right into Sunil. Sunil held the mirror up, showing Russell his reflection.

"What in the name of Purina are you guys doing?" Russell demanded. He backed away, turning his head to face away from the other two pets. "Cut it out!"

"Vinnie, he can't look at the mirror," Sunil observed. "Russell is definitely a werewolf. Keep your distance, you – you – werehog!"

"Werehog?" Russell repeated. "Okay, hold on a minute. Let me get this straight. You guys think I'm some sort of a lycanthrope?"

"No, we think you're a werewolf," Vinnie corrected him.

Russell rolled his eyes. "Vinnie, 'lycanthrope' is the technical term for –" He stopped himself. Why should he even bother explaining it to Vinnie? He knew it would just go over the gecko's head. "Anyway, you guys are getting your monster repellents mixed up. Garlic and mirrors repel _vampires_."

Vinnie and Sunil lowered their tools, scrutinizing him closely. "Howled at any moons lately?" Vinnie interrogated him.

"What's wrong with that?" Zoe asked as she joined them. "I like to get in a good howl every once in a while."

"Zoe does make a good point," Russell said, trying to shift the other two pets' attention away from him. "Dogs are directly descendant from wolves. If anyone might be your werewolf, it could be her."

Zoe could only cock her head and yelp in confusion as Vinnie and Sunil approached her, tools ready. She backed away; the scent of the garlic was irritating her nose.

"So, Zoe Trent, if that is your real name," Vinnie said, "rip anything or anyone apart recently?"

"Um…." was Zoe's only answer. It was true that she'd been a little rough with her squeaky mailman toy, but if she answered that question, Vinnie and Sunil wouldn't stop pestering her about it. Either that, or they would run and tell the other pets to stay away from her.

Too late; they saw the mailman toy, its head, legs, and one arm ripped apart, the squeaker and inner plastic strewn about.

"Does that mean there are two werewolves in Littlest Pet Shop?" Sunil asked, his voice dripping with fear. Vinnie just nodded his head.

A second later, the two pets were running throughout the Day Camp, screaming in terror. They stopped when the climbed the tree and looked down at Zoe and Russell.

Russell rolled his eyes; these two were being ridiculous. Everyone knew that werewolves were fictional, born from European mythology and superstition thanks to hypertrichosis, the disorder that caused hair to grow on every part of a human's body, giving them the appearance of a humanoid lupus. It was obvious that these two had let their imaginations once again get the better of them.

And yet, it seemed to be contagious, as Zoe was backing away from him, eyeing him cautiously.

############################

Even as they pulled up to the Biskit Mansion, they could tell that it was a hub of activity. Not just from the sounds coming out through the windows of the manor, but from the people standing on the yard outside – some talking, some drinking what looked like a fancy drink Blythe was still too young for, some children were playing a game of hide and seek.

This wasn't the first time Blythe had been to the Biskit Mansion; the last time she was here was when she accidentally baked her necklace into a batch of cupcake batter for Whittany and Brittany's "Quarter Birthday Party". Things had gotten pretty chaotic then, mostly due to the pets getting out of control and causing a panic.

 _Please don't let things get nuts like that again_ , she silently pleaded as she and Mrs. Twombly stepped through the door.

Whether it was the first time or the hundredth time she'd been here, Blythe was still amazed at the size of the foyer alone. This house seemed so much smaller on the outside, but stepping inside was like stepping into another building altogether. The room seemed to stretch on for miles, with at least a dozen chandeliers hanging from the roof to provide a warm, cozy light. Guests and servants milled about, talking and serving refreshments and admiring the artworks hanging on the walls or resting on pedestals in the center of the room.

"Fisher certainly has an extensive art collection," Mrs. Twombly observed. "Now, I wonder where he keeps the most precious piece?"

"We can worry about that later," Blythe said, taking the older woman's arm. "Let's go mingle." She pulled Mrs. Twombly out of the middle of the room, hoping to get her mind off of the doorknob for at least a few minutes. _You and your hobbies._

As they walked, observing and admiring every piece of art they saw, Blythe stopped. She couldn't help but stare at one particular piece – the twins, riding atop a grand white horse, the horse reared up near the edge of a cliff. It would have been an admittedly amazing piece, were it not for the twins' bored faces as they played on their phones.

"You've got to be kidding me," she breathed.

Someone walked past, catching Mrs. Twombly's attention. He was a tall man, his hair graying and dressed in an impeccable gray suit.

It was Fisher Biskit.

"Hello, Fisher," Mrs. Twombly spat as Mr. Biskit passed them.

Mr. Biskit stopped in his tracks and glared at Mrs. Twombly over his shoulder. "Twombly."

"Wait a minute. You two actually know each other?" Blythe asked. She had met Fisher Biskit before, and he seemed like a decent person compared to his daughters, but he had never mentioned knowing Mrs. Twombly personally, nor had Mrs. Twombly mentioned actually knowing Mr. Biskit. She had always gotten the impression that they'd only known each other by reputation only.

"Unfortunately," the two adults said harshy.

Mrs. Twombly turned to stare at Mr. Biskit, her eyes narrowed. "Where did you put it?" she asked in a harsh whisper. "Where's my precious?"

Blythe grabbed Mrs. Twombly and pulled her away before a conflict could begin. "Nice to see you again, Mr. Biskit! Great party!" she yelled as she dragged the older woman away. "Mrs. Twombly, relax. I'm sure it's here somewhere. Let's just keep looking, but try to keep up appearances…?"

And then she heard it, the laughter that haunted her dreams.

The twins, sitting on a couch, laughing at something one of them had said.

 _Maybe we can make this work in our favor,_ she thought. She cleared her throat. "Maybe we can ask Whittany and Brittany where we can find your doorknob."

Blythe didn't really want to talk to them. She knew how the conversation would go – the twins would admonish her, she'd go into sarcasm mode, there was a good chance it would make a big scene, and the twins would continue to mock her, and probably Mrs. Twombly for her hobby.

"Oh. It's you," Whittany said as the two of them approached. The twins stood up from the couch. "Hello, and, like, whatever the opposite of hello is."

 _Wow. That's new,_ Blythe thought as the twins walked away. She and Mrs. Twombly hurried after. "Okay, I know this is going to sound crazy, but we were just wondering where your new doorknob is being kept."

"Okay, first of all," Brittany said after taking a sip of her drink, "why are you talking to us?"

"And second," Whittany added, "what can we do to, like, make it stop?"

"Well, you could point me in the direction of the doorknob," Blythe answered. "That's a start, at least."

"What in the wide, wide world of us are you going on about, Blythe?" Whittany asked.

"The only new doorknob I can think of is the one in Whittany's bathroom," Brittany said. "Are you happy now?"

"Excuse me girls, coming through," Mrs. Twombly said, gently pushing past the twins and hurrying up the stairs.

"Potty emergency," Whittany chuckled.

"Yeah, well….Thanks," Blythe said.

Whittany groaned. "Your still talking! Why?"

"Good question," Blythe said. "You got an answer for me?"

"And you're still doing it," Brittany said flatly.

Blythe rolled her eyes. It didn't matter; Mrs. Twombly would soon get what they came here for, and they'd be on their way back home. It would just be a few more minutes, and she wouldn't have to deal with the twins again until Monday.

A partygoer – a tall boy who was distracted by his phone and not watching where he was going – bumped into Brittany, who bumped into Whittany, whose drink spilled over the front of Blythe's dress.

"Wonderful," Blythe growled. "Looks like Mrs. Twombly's not the only one looking for that bathroom now." She balled her hands into tight fists and flared her nostrils in frustration as she climbed the stairs to the second floor.

##############################

The bathroom Brittany mentioned had to be behind one of these doors, Anna was sure of it. But which one? Outside of the doorknobs – all of which Anna already had in her collection – they all looked exactly the same. None of them would help her. Where was it? Where was the shiny gold doorknob she'd seen on eBay this morning?

She was about to give up her search when she spied the door she was looking for.

"Oh my poor little doorknob, they're using you for what you were made to do!" she cried. She approached the door, her desire to have the gold handle in her possession. "My precious. Soon you will be mine. Fisher doesn't respect you the way I do."

 _But she does own it,_ a voice in the back of her mind reminded her. _He won the auction fairly, even if he did snipe it at the last second._

"I want it," Anna hissed. "I need it." She grasped the knob in both hands and pulled as hard as she could. "I must have it!"

The door flew open and Anna fell against the back wall as the doorknob was ripped from the door. She could only look at the damage she'd caused to her precious jewel. She wanted the whole thing, not just one piece, and now she'd broken it in her desire to have it.

"If I wanted spots on my dress I'd have worn something with polka dots," Blythe's voice came from down the hall.

Anna quickly tucked the handle into her purse, climbed to her feet, and hurried away and out of sight as the girl rounded the corner.

###############################

Things seemed to have quieted down a bit at Day Camp. The only pets still giving Russell the weird looks were Vinnie and Sunil; the other pets had gone back to playing or napping. Minka was running a brush through Russell's fur, making sure to avoid the quills – she knew from firstpaw experience that a hedgehog's quills hurt – while Penny Ling had borrowed one of Zoe's files for her claws. She was still a cub, and her claws were beginning to grow in, making her paws uncomfortable.

Vinnie and Sunil were huddled in the corner, watching the other pets – watching Minka brush Russell's fur, watching Penny Ling file her claws, watching Zoe chew on a rubber dog bone toy.

"Werewolves are all around us, Vinnie," Sunil squeaked.

"They're just waiting for the chance to have a lizard and mongoose sandwich, I know it," Vinnie said in a hushed voice. They scanned the pets again, screaming when they saw Penny Ling's claws.

"You like them?" Penny Ling asked. "I think I'll call it a Panda Pedi."

"Oh yes, of course, I understand," Sunil said sarcastically. "After all, you have to make sure you keep those things sharp for when you shred us to ribbons!"

"Why would I do that?" Penny Ling asked. Sunil and Vinnie were being even sillier than normal. "Oh, hi Pepper," she said as the gray skunk approached.

"Hey you guys," Pepper said cheerfully, her furry skunk lips upturned into an open tooth smile, showing off her –

"FANGS!" Vinnie and Sunil cried.

"Penny Ling, stay away from Pepper!" Vinnie yelled. "Those teeth were made for ripping out panda hearts!"

They heard Russell sigh from across the room. "Don't tell me you two are still on this werewolf kick of yours."

"Werewolves?" Minka repeated. "Monkey brain eating werewolves?"

"Don't you start too, Minka," Russell cautioned her.

"And why shouldn't I?" Minka asked. She grabbed Russell's arm and examined his paw. "I don't remember your index finger being so long."

"Minka, you know hedgehogs don't actually have fingers, right?" Russell asked.

Vinnie grabbed a nearby food dish. "Take this, werewolves!"

The other pets screamed as Vinnie threw the dish at them. Russell rolled into a ball while the others ducked to avoid the projectile, which harmlessly hit the far wall.

Russell uncurled from his ball and stared at Russell and Vinnie. "What are you doing, Vinnie?!" he demanded.

"You all saw it," Vinnie said. "The monkey ducked! Werewolves have an aversion to silver! Everyone knows this!"

"I have an aversion to things being thrown at my head!" Minka yelled.

Russell rolled his eyes. He knew where this was going, and he wasn't looking forward to it. Ever since they'd watched that movie this morning, Vinnie and Sunil had been instigating things between the pets all day, making them thing each other was a werewolf. It was getting ridiculous.

 _This is going to be a longer day than I thought,_ he said to himself as the other pets began to argue with each other.

##############################

No matter how hard Blythe tried, the soda stain just wasn't coming out. She knew it wasn't because she'd let it dry – some of it was coming off on the towels she'd used – so just why was it being so stubborn?

"Oh, of course," she said aloud to herself. "It's almost impossible to get stains out of silk. Man, this is hopeless."

She couldn't help but look to the door as it swung open, and Whittany stepped into the room. The two girls' eyes met; Whittany looked like she was about ready to throw up.

"Blythe, what are you doing in here?"

"Gee, I don't know, maybe trying to get the soda stain out of my dress?" Blythe snarked.

"Well, go somewhere else and do it," Whittany barked. "This is my bathroom, just like everything else in this house?"

"Everything in this house is your bathroom?"

Whittany rolled her eyes, not catching Blythe's sarcasm. "You know what I mean."

Blythe just sighed and threw the towel she had been using over to the overly large bathtub against the far wall. "It doesn't matter how many perfectly monogrammed Biskit towels I use, this stain's not coming out." She began moving to the door. "I'm just gonna go get Mrs. Twombly and head home. Have fun with your party."

"That is, like, the smartest thing you've said all day," Whittany said as she checked her makeup in the mirror.

Blythe grasped the handle – she couldn't help but notice that it looked like the one Mrs. Twombly was searching for – turned, and pulled.

All she got was the handle, and the door remained tightly closed.

"Hey, uh, Whittany? You said everything in this house was yours, right?"

"Why are you still here?" Whittany asked. She let out a gasp as Blythe showed her the handle. "Oh my g – you broke the door!"

"Sorry; the thing just came out of the door," Blythe said meekly. "Uh….I think we're going to be stuck here for a bit."

Whittany began pounding and clawing at the door. "Someone get me out of here! I'm trapped in the bathroom with Blythe Baxter!"

 _Love you too, Whit_ , Blythe silently snarked.

##################################

Russell had let himself get lost in a book, anything to keep him distracted from the shenanigans of the other pets. For the last…however long…they had been at each other, shouting and barking and snarling and chattering. He really didn't want to point digits, but he was sure that even the other pets knew that this was all Vinnie and Sunil's doing.

But no. The other pets had decided to just have a group stare down, Vinnie and Sunil grasping silver spoons while Pepper swung a purple plant she'd called "wolfsbane" around. Of course, it was just something she'd pulled out of her joke box. And while he didn't care for the other pets' antics, he was hoping she wouldn't actually try to use it – wolfsbane and other species of aconitum were known to be very poisonous.

He could understand the wolfbane and the silver spoons, but Zoe? She was just repeating Penny Ling's name.

"Why aren't you gone? I said your name three times! Unless Penny Ling isn't your real name."

 _Who does she think she is, Beetlejuice?_ Russell asked himself silently.

A loud rumbling sound filled the room. It was coming from Zoe; her stomach was growling so loud it made Penny Ling cover her ears.

"Wow. Russell was right about that kibble."

The other pets slowly backed away from Zoe. "The dog's gonna go wolf on us!"

Russell had had enough of this. He slammed the book shut and leaped down from the chair he was sitting on. "You all know there's no such thing as werewolves, right?" he cried.

"That's exactly what a werehog would _want_ us to think!" Vinnie snapped back. "I've got my eyes on you."

All the other pets turned to him, eyeing him cautiously. All Russell could do was roll his eyes. There had to be some way to get the pets to listen to reason, some way for Vinnie and Sunil to see that they had just let that movie go to their heads.

But how?

##############################

Whittany's hands were starting to get sore. She'd been knocking on the door for the last twenty minutes, and even if her hands weren't hurting, her arms were getting tired. And she had no way of knowing if anyone could hear her cries for help.

She leaned against the door, her arms refusing to move anymore and all feeling in her hands sapped. "I'm stuck in the bathroom with Blythe," she moaned again.

 _She's been saying that for twenty minutes,_ Blythe thought. "Whittany, someone's going to come get us soon, I'm sure of it."

"Uh-huh."

"Until then, we should do something to keep ourselves entertained. You know, pass the time. How about a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors? Winner gets that bar of soap over there."

"You are the strangest girl I've ever met," Whittany grumbled. "Besides, it's already my soap, so I don't need to play your silly little game." She leaned her head back against the door. "Someone get me out of here!"

"If I had my phone on me I could call my dad," Blythe suggested. "He's pretty good at fixing things."

"No way, not now, not ever!" Whittany cried. "One Baxter stinking up the place is too much already; we don't need another!"

#############################

Roger's body was sore. Not just from all the work he'd done, but from all the ways he'd been getting hurt throughout the day. First he dropped a hammer on him foot, then he had a table collapse on him while he was under it; he fell off a ladder while trying to fix a light, and now, a shelf of dog food fell apart on him as he put a nail into one of the boards.

Roger had managed to endure the pain throughout the day, but this was too much, and he let out a howl of agony.

##############################

Vinnie and Sunil huddled together as the howl echoed throughout the building. It had come from inside the pet shop, just like the one from this morning.

The werewolf was close; they could feel it. It was only a matter of time before it had gotten to them.

"Vinnie? I'm scared," Sunil squeaked.

"Same here, buddy."

 _SUNIL: There's something moving out through the night_

 _You get that sickly sinking feeling that something isn't right_

 _VINNIE: You run to find a shelter, locking the door_

 _But behind you there's a shadow crawling across the floor_

 _SUNIL: You turn to scream, it seems a little mean_

 _Knees are shaking, cold sweat, and your hearts are racing_

 _VINNIE: Those claws those teeth_

 _Who's that underneath?_

 _Is that a hedgehog? Your eyes can't believe!_

 _VINNIE AND SUNIL: He's been wolf-i-fied!_

 _You better fly 'cause there's no one here to save you_

 _And you cannot deny_

 _He's been wolf-i-fied!_

 _Just say goodbye 'cause there's no place left to run to!_

 _There's no place left to hide!_

 _SUNIL: You think you made it running out the back_

 _But you better think again because something's on your track_

 _VINNIE: You run into a corner, turn to see who's there_

 _Now there's almost half a dozen, that seems a bit unfair_

 _SUNI: You turn to scream_

 _Get some in between_

 _Knees are shaking, cold sweat, and your hearts are racing_

 _VINNIE: Those claws, those teeth!_

 _Who's that underneath?_

 _Are those your friends there? Your eyes can't believe!_

 _THE OTHER PETS: Boo! We've been wolf-i-fied!_

 _No need to try 'cause there's no one here to save you_

 _And you cannot deny_

 _We've been wolf-i-fied!_

 _Just say goodbye 'cause there's no place left to run to_

 _And no place left to hide!_

Vinnie and Sunil screamed. "We give! Please don't eat us!"

Russell couldn't help but laugh; these two were more into this than he'd thought. "Scary stuff, this werewolf thing, isn't it?" Vinnie and Sunil were too busy shaking with fear to answer.

##############################

It had been nearly an hour since the doorknob broke and trapped them in this bathroom, and yet, no one had even come knocking. Blythe was sure that someone would have by now. But no. It was just here and Whittany, had been for so long that Blythe had stopped listening to Whittany's ranting ten minutes ago.

"You know, Whittany, your ranting sounds like you freaking out," Blythe said.

"Biskits don't 'freak out'," Whittany denied adamantly. "In case you haven't noticed, we are the definition of perfection. No, seriously, you look up the word 'perfect' in that big book of words and you'll see a picture of me and my sister."

 _No, I'd probably find you next to the word "narcissistic",_ Blythe thought.

"We have the best parties," Whittany continued. "And the nicest clothes, and everybody wants to be our friend. Well, except, like, you."

"Hey, you and your sister are the ones who haven't been the nicest people to me," Blythe countered. "I mean, look at the way you acted when I first moved to town. You offered to take me to the mall to do some shopping, and I declined, and because I declined, you decided to wage a personal war against me. All I did was say 'no', partly because I had just gotten to town, we still had a lot of stuff to finish moving and unpacking, and I was exhausted. And since then, you and Brittany have been, well….I'm not sure I should say that particular word."

"Well…." Whittany's voice trailed off. "I guess that's because Brittany doesn't really like you. And, you know, she's my sister, so I agree with her on everything."

"I wish I knew what that was like," Blythe said. "I'm an only child, but it would be awesome having a sister. Even better would be having a twin sister, or maybe triplets!" She cleared her throat and began speaking in her best Whittany Biskit voice. "Because how cool would it be to have someone just like, like, me."

Whittany couldn't help but chuckle. "That's a terrible impression. We do not sound like that."

"Uh, yeah, you do."

Whittany's chuckle turned into a laugh. "This never leaves this room, but you can be funny sometimes."

 _Wow. A compliment from one of the Biskit Twins. Has Hades frozen over?_

 _#################################_

Brittany had spent the last hour wondering just what in the world was taking Whittany so long in the bathroom. What, did she decide to get a bath while she was up there? All she was doing was checking her makeup after that jerk bumped into them. But still, it didn't take that long.

Something was wrong. Brittany's Biskit Sense was tingling.

"Don't worry, Whittany! I'm coming!"

She hurried up the stairs and down the hall, stopping when she heard laughter coming from one of the rooms.

It was Whittany's bathroom. And from the sound of things, Whittany was laughing not at Blythe Baxter, but _with_ Blythe Baxter!

"Whittany!" she cried. "Whittany, are you in there?"

"We're both in here," Blythe's voice came from the other side of the door. "The doorknob fell off; we're stuck in here."

"Hang on, Whittany! I'll get you out of there before she does her voodoo on you!"

The question was, how? The repairman was off for the week, and she didn't know anyone else who could get this door open.

And if she didn't get her sister out of there soon….

###########################

Once again, the other pets were keeping their distance from Russell. This was getting more and more ridiculous as the day waned. They hadn't heard that mysterious howl in a while, but six sets of eyes were glued to him, eyeing him with suspicious terror.

"You all still think I'm a werewolf?" he asked.

"Yes, werehedge – I mean, werehog," Sunil chattered.

"Okay, I'm putting this to bed right now," Russell said. "The only reason you're imagining me as a werewolf is because I'm an animal. We're _all_ animals. Animals have fur and long pointy teeth and all the other animal-like things. And I don't know how you overlooked this, but in all the movies and stories, werewolves only come out at night, during a full moon, and it's the middle of the day. Now, I ask you, as your friend, to think about this for a minute: No moon equals…?"

"No moon equals no werewolf!" Vinnie gasped. "You know, I _was_ wondering about that."

"Oh, I knew you weren't really a werewolf," Sunil fibbed. "I never doubted you for a minute, Russell." Russell just looked at him, not believing a single word coming from the mongoose's mouth.

#############################

Anna couldn't find Blythe anywhere. The last she figured, Blythe had gone into the bathroom, but surely she would have come out by now, right? But no matter where Anna looked, she couldn't find that girl. She wasn't downstairs mingling with the other party guests, she wasn't in any of these rooms on the second floor.

So where was she?

"It'll be okay, Whittany!" she heard Brittany Biskit call from down the hall. Anna rounded the corner, finding herself at the back of a long line of people. To anyone else, it would have looked like a case of "too many guests, not enough bathrooms", but Anna had a feeling that that was where Blythe was.

"I don't think Baxteritis is contagious, but the decontamination team is standing by!" Whittany shouted through the door.

Anna slowly approached, opening her purse and reaching for the doorknob as she heard the butler speak up.

"It would appear, Miss Brittany, that the doorknob wasn't just broken off, it has been made off with. But not to worry; I've put in a call to the hardware store and –"

Anna quickly spoke up before the butler could continue. "Now how did this get in here?" she asked, trying to sound innocent, as she produced the golden handle from her purse. _I'm sorry, my precious, but I have to use you for a more important matter,_ she said silently as she fitted the doorknob into the hole and turned.

The door easily swung open. Blythe and Whittany were standing on the other side, talking as though they were the best of friends.

"And that's why I never wear stripes on a Friday," Blythe was saying.

"Whittany!" Brittany yelled. "What are you doing?!"

Whittany hurried out the door to stand next to her sister. "Whatever. Blythe, here's one of those things they give us at school to see, like, how smart we are. Do you remember how I said everything in this house belongs to us? Well, that includes the front door, which is the only door you should be using, like, right now."

Blythe knew she should have been angry. After all, here Whittany was, acting the way she normally did when not even a minute ago they were bonding. For a moment, Blythe actually thought that at least Whittany would be her friend, but now that they were free, that didn't seem to be the case.

"Well, at least you're back to normal," she said. "Mrs. Twombly, let's go home."

###########################

Blythe wasted no time changing out of that sticky, ruined dress when they got home. That soda stain wasn't coming out of that silk, and it had made the dress stick to her skin, but now she was cleaned, changed, and joining Mrs. Twombly back at Littlest Pet Shop.

"I don't know how I let myself get carried away over that silly doorknob," Blythe heard Mrs. Twombly saying from her office. "Especially when I have so many beauties already."

Blythe poked her head through the door. "Talking to your collection again, Mrs. Twombly?"

Mrs. Twombly laughed. "You know me so well. Blythe, be honest: Were you…embarrassed by my actions today?"

"I have this guy as my dad," Blythe said, pointing a thumb towards here father, whose body was covered in bandages and gauze. "I'm used to it."

"Love you too, sweetie," her dad said.

"So let's agree to put today behind us and move on," Blythe continued.

"I'll let you two hug it out," her father said as he scooped his toolbox up from the floor. "That display case isn't going to fix itself."

Blythe knew she should have stopped him, but what was the point? Once he got to playing Tool Man, he only stopped when the work was completed. So why bother? Instead, she headed for Day Camp. It had only been a few hours, but she missed the pets.

"Hey pets," she said as she walked through the door. "Did anything exciting happen here today?"

"We heard a howl," Sunil answered.

"And an unholy shriek," Vinnie added.

"It could have been a werewolf," Penny Ling put in.

"Or Russell," Pepper said flatly.

"Most definitely Russell," Sunil agreed. "He looks like a werewolf in the dark."

"There you go again!" Russell cried.

"It could have been any of us," Zoe said, ignoring her hedgehog friend. "Well, except me."

Blythe had to laugh at the absurdity of this. "Okay, could someone write that down and send it to me as an email? Maybe if I read it slowly I can understand how you thought there was a werewolf in Littlest Pet Shop. But right now, you all need baths. You smell like you've been rolling in raw garlic."

A loud howl filled the air.


End file.
